Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Swell AI Transcript: S1 E15 Death
Tyler Beautiful. Welcome to the Last Boy Scouts podcast. I'm one of your hosts, Tyler Clark. And I'm Danny. Danny. It's been, uh, we skipped a week.

Danny We did. It was crazy. It was. Preston texted me and said, Hey, did I miss something? Um, we got in the car to listen to our podcast and no podcast. And I was like, Oh, for the people that don't have social media. Get on social media, Preston. Come on, Preston. He has social media. I'm sure he just doesn't check it. Yeah, no. Yeah, we took that week off. We had a couple of weeks to prepare for men's descent. And then we had birthdays. It's funny because, you know, your birthday is the 26th. My birthday is the 27th. And we broadcasted about how it was going to be on my birthday. And then I was like, wait, I know Tyler's birthday is close to mine. I couldn't remember. Yeah. Um, two of my really good friends, you and then another one of my good friends are both in September. And, uh, I was thinking, well, you always made comments about my birthday, but never about yours. And I was like, I wonder if that was by choice or by purpose design.

Tyler Yeah. Yeah. You know, I don't know. I birthdays for me. Um, I don't remember a lot of them saying, right. I remember some of them, some of the really good ones, but, um, Yeah, for me, it's just like at this point in my life, like, I think my kids wished me happy birthday, like halfway through the day. So I'm just like, it's just another day.

Danny It was my goal to be one of the first, if not the first to sing you happy birthday.

Tyler And you were, yeah. You woke me up that morning. No, you didn't wake me up because I had to get the kids through school. But yeah, you were one of the first. Yeah. One of the first.

Danny I remember, I'm the same way. My family, they always, they chastise me because I just, I don't, I don't remember hardly any of my birthdays. Like I just don't, I don't remember, don't remember any of them. But, um, I, uh, got a fake ID when I was 16. That was my 16th birthday present. And so even when I turned 21, I had already been going to the bars for like five days, you know? And so I went to the bar for my 21st, 21st birthday and everybody was like, what in the world is wrong? You're boring. And I was like, well, birthdays don't mean anything to me. Yeah. In the last couple of years, I've tried to make it a point to call each of my nieces and nephews and then reach out to my friends and be like, Hey, man, happy birthday. I appreciate you.

Tyler Yeah. I do have to take it back. So my former mother-in-law, Claudia, she's been listening to the podcast. Oh, good. She did call and wish me a happy birthday a week early. Oh, she technically was the first. So Claudia, thank you.

Danny Yeah. Claudia, nice. You beat me to the punch.

Tyler Beat you by a week. Good for her. But she's got a lot, she does the same thing. She's very good at calling all of her grandkids, which, you know, there's over 30 now.

Danny So she does it. It's a good skillset. I think like, um, um, Giving thanks to you know showing somebody that you could you care about him is oh, yeah, it's a good skill I think you do a good job with like you do a really good job with like Christmas I know that we've been around Christmas you do a really good job with your kids birthdays and then like friends graduation was awesome. Yeah Yeah, I don't the birthday we I take Misty somewhere for her birthdays and we ended up going to Vegas oh, yeah for for the week before my birthday, which is kind of why we couldn't broadcast that weekend because we had men's descent, so we couldn't leave that weekend, but we ended up going to Vegas the week before. It was like an impromptu. We were going to take the bus.

Tyler So a little peek behind the scenes. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off there, but like that little peek behind the scenes, right? We record the week before we actually release, so we have some time to work the magic on it. But you were in Vegas. You took the bus? No, we were going to go camping. We did have that event and the bus. Yeah. That's true. That's right. That's part of the like, yeah, part of the magic of the last few weeks, three weeks.

Danny That's right. You and I were going to go sauna. Yeah.

Tyler And bus stranded. We got stranded. I had to hook it. Yeah. And the tow truck driver was not impressed.

Danny No, he wasn't. And, uh, Man, that was a crazy day because you had to get cozy and Misty had to run out and like save us. And what a day. That's right. I forgot that that even happened. Yeah. I think we've gotten most of the quirks worked out in the bus. I think we had a couple more things that we needed to do before I put it away for the winter. Yeah. And then, yeah. And so we ended up going out to Vegas. We just got a plane ticket and flew out there. Nice. It was nice.

Tyler Nice.

Danny Where'd you guys stay? We stay at the South point. Um, shout out to the South point. I think it's a good place. That's where my boys would wrestle.

Tyler Okay.

Danny It's at the very end of this, the very end of Vegas, like the Luxor side or the North side.

Tyler It's at the very end of Vegas. So very end of Vegas.

Danny Okay. You're right at the edge of Henderson. Not on the strip at all. Not on the strip at all. So it's good. It's got everything that you need. Yeah. It's got a rodeo arena and that's what I kind of like to go watch those things. Um, We, uh, yeah, so we stayed there and it's got a good pool. Um, yeah, it was, it was a good day. It was a good trip. We had a good time. We, uh, we will not fly spirit again. I know that.

Tyler Yeah. No, I hear they take plane volunteer, like pilot volunteers in the plane. Hey, Pilot didn't show up or he was too drunk. Yeah. Yeah too drunk and we need somebody. Did they ask you to fly?

Danny No, but I am Spirit, you know, I've flown Delta. That's kind of what I I mean, you know, you fly Delta.

Tyler Yeah.

Danny Yeah, it's so easy in Salt Lake because it's everywhere. Yeah. And Delta is great. You get a mileage. I got miles so I can upgrade when I want, but it was kind of interesting. Like we bought the plane tickets and then, um, I, uh, bought, you have to buy your seats and then you have to pay for your bags. And I was like, well, this is good. And so I, the only two seats available are the, like right in the front. So it's like almost, almost first class. So we get there and, It was a nightmare. I actually drove home to Heber, grabbed Misty, turned right back around and went to Salt Lake. And we were like, well, we only need about an hour. Yeah. No, we didn't have any bags to check. We get in there and the line, you know, the security line is like, whoa. And they broke the airport. It was going to be a long day if we didn't get on the flight, right? Yeah. So we get all the way through and we, we sent a security and we're like, okay, we're so close. Okay. We're back at 30 minutes. We've got 30 minutes. We're like, okay, we're going to have to run, get there. And when we're going through security, the lady says, this says you need a paper boarding pass. And we look and we're like, what? No, we have our boarding passes on our phone. She goes, it says you need a paper boarding pass. And of course, Misty's just her color drains from her face. And I'm like, Oh, let's see what we can do. We run upstairs, get a boarding pass, takes them for a minute to get our boarding pass. And now we run downstairs and we're like, we can't stand insecurity. So we convinced the guys to let us go through the priority boarding. We get in and I have protein. I have all my stuff in my bag and Misty's like, take it out. And I'm like, I can't throw this away. A lot of money. Right. Yeah. And so They didn't even check us, but man, we are running through Salt Lake airport and you have to go underneath. Yeah. It just, it was so frustrating. Where is concourse? And we get to the very end and luckily the plane was a little bit delayed. So yeah. Um, the, uh, flight attendants were awesome. They, they were, they were cool. They talked to us and, um, gave us a drink. Oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah. But, um, on the way back from Vegas, it was another nightmare spirit. I, I appreciate playing let you know, you economy like that. I appreciate that. But, um, I'm not going to plan.

Tyler I'm going to buy Delta. It's the Greyhound bus of the sky for sure.

Danny Yeah. Yeah. It was okay. It was, uh, it was a trip. Yeah. We, uh, made a good time. We had a really good time. We, uh, how about you? What did you, what did you, you had, you had some other stuff going on, right? I had cozy his birthday. Oh, that's right.

Tyler So September is birthday month for me and my youngest cozy. And so, uh, She was with her mom and I, yeah, I set up a big happy birthday cozy sign. Nice. Yeah. And then the lawnmowers came in. No, they didn't. Yeah, we had to mow the lawn, like September 21st, we're mowing the lawn still.

Danny Yeah. And you didn't see the sign?

Tyler She didn't see it. She, she didn't get to see it. It didn't stay up as long as I would have liked, but.

Danny How old did Cozy turn? She turned 11. She's so funny. Yeah. And she's, she likes to, she likes to give me a hard time.

Tyler She is just a fireball. I think it's because she's been picked on by Ben and by Bryn. In her heart of hearts. She's really sweet.

Danny She's not very nice to my friends and we're gonna we're working on it And she is and Ben was like she's offense first and she was just man. She's teasing me and teasing me She wrapped my present. Oh, yeah, she did.

Tyler I asked her I was just getting stuff done and asked her to wrap your present. No she's like She's like, do you want me to be nice or mean? And I just kind of wanted to see what she said. If I said be mean, I was like, Hey, Danny said he was going to wake me up with a punch to the face. So you do with that what you will. So she, yeah, she used the whole roll of tape. She did. She was pretty proud of it.

Danny She was proud of it. Yeah, we, uh, at men's ascent, she said, okay, you got to make sure you, uh, you open in front of me. And it took me a minute. Yeah. But then I figured out I could just get an edge. Yeah. Open the edge and take it out, but slide it out. Yeah. We, uh, that was good.

Tyler Oh man. I'm super nervous to host our first event, but at the end of the day, we've got such great feedback. We got such great feedback that they actually want to do another class. Yeah. meeting with the team at Mountain Elite. Special thanks to them for hosting.

Danny Crystal Joy is awesome. Yeah. She has such a good energy, right? Yeah. That was the first time that her and I had met. And it was interesting because she said, you and I have never met, but we have close friends. Yeah. And so she said, I'm giving a client a massage and I'm telling her about the men's ascent. And I mentioned Danny. And the lady goes, Oh, you're going to love him. You're going to love him. And she said, I haven't even told you who it is. She goes, I know who it is and you're going to love him. And I said, that's great. That's a, you know, that's a good compliment to have that, you know? And she said, yeah, and I can tell you're awesome. And I was like, thank you. We never met.

Tyler Right. Did she call you love? She did. Yeah. She calls everybody love.

Danny Yeah. She has a really cool presence about it. You can see she just has a cool presence about herself.

Tyler Oh yeah. She was really grateful for the opportunity to host. You know, she helped to get a lot of people in the door. So it was a great, it was great partnering with them. And then the catering after was, was fantastic. I love the food. I love to support a new truck. I don't know if the next event will have food. I don't know if it added much value. A lot of people just want, a lot of the guys just wanted to take off after. I mean, that's fine. Again, just wanted to help another local business, another local food truck, get their name out there and, you know, happy to support other local businesses. you know, gratitude thing, right? Sure. Pay it forward. She was helping us and uh, yeah.

Danny So yeah. And her space is great. Oh, that's the first time I've ever been in there. And if you are Tyler, excuse me, Tyler said this a couple of times. Yeah. If you're looking for anything to, uh, take your cinematic and other, you're looking for something to yourself. Her space is really, really good. Right. When you walk in, you're like, Oh, this is amazing.

Tyler There's a lot to go sit in the salt room.

Danny Yeah. She was telling me about it. Yeah. Um, the little rooms that she had and then that little, uh, where we were at with the men, that was kind of like, it was really cool. It was just the right size for the group that we had. Um, if any more two or three more, we might've been a little bit crowded, but I think we would have made do with it, you know? Um, we do a good job of, of, of feeding off of each other and giving each other space. And so I felt like the men were, I felt like they had a good, um, experience. I think that they, um, I think that it was, they didn't know what to expect. So you start down this road of like the sadness of why you're there. And then we kind of like, no, no, no, no. Yeah. We have these things, but let's talk about how we can be happy about what we have." And it was good.

Tyler Yeah, we got a lot of good feedback about the breathwork. I sent out some homework for those that attended. Make sure you check that email because there was some homework in there. Um, you know, like ask yourself the question, like, you know, what did your father think masculinity was? What did your mother think masculinity was? You know, start documenting what do you really think it means? I mean, it wasn't until I actually put pen to paper that I really, um, kind of, fully understood, like, what are my thoughts around what masculine is? What is masculine? Right?

Danny Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, like, it's hard when you get, it's hard when you want to be around other people because you don't want to seem soft. Right. Right. You could see that, um, there was, there was all aspects of our life. I ended up talking to one of those young gentlemen, the youngest of the group. No, no trip trip was probably the youngest of the group, but one of the other men. And, and, and he was just, he's like, he's like, this is what I need. This is what I need. He goes, I just, I don't know how to go about it. I just don't know how to go about it. And I think that's a common theme. And a lot of it is just being open. we're not always, you know, sometimes we're playing a role. Sometimes we're posing. Sometimes we're like, we were not fully engaged in our, in our journey. And we may be just posing, but we're always open for more and, and for other, other input for you to give me too, that I can get better with and I can use. Right. Right. And that's part of it is, is just, is is opening the door.

Tyler You do need a set of you need you need a set of good close friends that you can run criticisms by, right? Like if you can't handle somebody else's criticism, especially a close friend, and you're that be makes you triggered, you really need to discover why why that is what parts of you are you trying to hide? I thrive from the feedback I get. It was interesting, I had my psychological exam for the police academy, or for the Wasatch County Sheriff here. I mentioned to the therapist, the psychiatrist that I was meeting with, I go, well, I go, my self-awareness is kind of my highest currency. kind of looked at me and he's like, yeah, I've never really thought about it that way. And I go, my ability to kind of look at what, and I haven't always been this way. I'll be the first to admit, I haven't always been this way. I've all, I've definitely hid, you know, hidden a shadow or two, especially as I was younger. So when, you know, a young, a young husband, a young father, I didn't know I had so much ego and so much pride I needed to protect. And he was like, yeah, that's, that's a really interesting way. You mind if I steal that? Go right ahead.

Danny Yeah.

Tyler Yeah. Right.

Danny Yeah.

Tyler They hashtag how the Clark tag us and tag us on Instagram or wherever you share.

Danny Yeah. Yeah. And, and that's, that's part of it is, is like, you know, as we go down these paths where we're constantly evolving, we're constantly growing, we're constantly learning. We have, I mean, I have my set things. We talked about this. I, you know, I have my set routine. Um, I've revamped, reinvented my breathing program. I've really put some effort into learning from some people about breathing and why we breathe. And I've been practicing it a lot in the last couple of weeks. I took a class and I've read a book that was recommended to me. And it changed my outlook on some things. And that's what we talked about at the Men's Ascent was fight or flight, you know, the nervous system and the and how it works. Yeah. Right. And when you're questioning, like, what's next or what can I do? That's a good place to start. Absolutely. Those, those nervous systems that we talked about is that those things, they don't lie. Yeah, no.

Tyler Yeah, you're absolutely right. And I, I mean, I made a social post about this a little while ago, the four principled realities, right? That life is inconsistent and unpredictable, right? Right then and there, we should know that we have to one, be gentle on ourselves to understand the messages that our body's telling us. We're all going to get stuck in traffic. We're all going to deal with some sort of life-changing event. Today we're going to dive into the topic of death, and we all face it. It's a natural part of life, but it does tend to be one of those kind of catastrophic life events. And then there's like larger stressors, right? The larger stressors, which are things like war or a school shooting or things that affect a large group of people, right? We all need to just come to grips with the reality that We're going to get stuck in traffic. We can't, you know, there's going to be some somebody that's going to cut us off on the road. Right. What do we do with that? What are we feeling in our bodies when, you know, that person cuts us off? Cool. You're going to be mad. Great. I mean, that's fine. It's okay to be mad. Those feelings, they're not the end all be all, right? They're a means to an end. They teach us, you know, it's our body telling us a message, right? We are not our feelings.

Danny Yeah, it's true. Today, I got honked at in Park City. Oh, yeah. And man, it almost it almost excited me to a point where I was like, I kind of want to go follow that guy.

Tyler Yeah, I mean, but I had just been wrestling and we've all been there. You get amped up, right? Yeah. Amped up. And I've certainly had times where I've done just some absolutely bonehead stuff behind the wheel. Who am I to think that I'm a better driver than anyone else?

Danny That's what I thought. I was like, can't you see what I was doing? Then I was like, maybe he didn't understand what I was doing. I was like, what is wrong with you? Because I was like, I got a little excited. I'm not going to lie. I was like, in my head, I had already played out what was going to happen.

Tyler I mean, it's so funny because I just took my son, Ben, to get his learner's permit, right? And I'm reading the test. I'm like, what do I actually remember from the test? I'm like, the red lights, this is the one you stopped for. The green one is the one you go for. Yeah. Other than that, it's like, okay, I don't, you know, I remember a lot of it, like merge and like those kinds of things. You follow the signs, the speed limits and stuff like that. But like, we have this like code of rules, but how well do we really, how well do we remember?

Danny Yeah. And then we're like, well, I know this. And so I'm always critiquing everybody else. Right. And, uh, that's, uh, Those, those things, like Tyler saying, those little triggers, those, those things that we can, we all know we have, you just have to have a set of rules that you address yourself with each of those triggers. Like, okay, what can I do to calm myself down? Right. You know, I, I, I, I have been training really hard the last couple of weeks, like really hard. I've had some mindsets, some goals that I wanted to do. I've accomplished a couple of those things and it's allowed me to reflect on my journey with Jiu Jitsu. It's allowed me to open up my eyes about the fact that like what Jiu Jitsu actually has done for me in my own personal life because You know, I, I have, like I've said before, I'm, I have been a hothead before. Um, but I, when I train hard, um, we trained really hard on Sunday. There was, um, four, three black belts and four brown belts. And just, it was just an insane, but you could just feel the energy. Right. And everybody was kind of like, you could tell that everybody kind of had brought their game. And I remember thinking, this, if you could just bottle this up, if you could just show this to somebody and be like, eventually you're going to get here. Yeah. But if I was to look at it from the outside, I would be like, I'd be terrified.

Tyler Right.

Danny I'd be terrified because it just looks like just a bunch of animals. Oh yeah. You know? And so, you know, I want to, I want to think that like, it would help a lot of people, but I don't know. I don't, I don't, I don't know if it's in everybody's genetic code or gene pool or sorry, they're in their, in their wheelhouse to see the benefits of something like that. Right. Cause it's not, it's, it's, it's, it's barbaric at times. You have all these monsters in there and you know, it's, I'd like to think that that could help people, right? But I do know this. I do know that if you have an avenue like that, if you find an avenue like that, it helps. It doesn't have to be what you and I talk about. It doesn't have to be that kind of stuff. But we have some basic stuff that we talk about that I think would help a lot of people. And that's what, going back to men's ascent, that's what those guys were like.

Tyler I really liked that. It was so simple.

Danny Something to just focus your mind on. That's an advanced class on Sunday. What we did on the men's ascent was a very basic introduction of what we do. It was a little sip. And that's what you want. That's how you, that's how you engage people. That's how you get them coming back, you know, but I don't know if it's thrown into the wolves. I think that if we would have went in there and, you know, taught all this crazy stuff, we might not have gone. You didn't like my notes.

Tyler I wrote some pretty epic notes just because I wanted to. One, I just, you know, you get on a, you get on a groove and you're just like, you know, you're just like blasting it on. You're like, okay, maybe the big picture will dial it back. So yeah.

Danny Yeah, it kind of was mind opening for me of like, all right, my journey is a little different than Tyler's journey in Jiu Jitsu, right? Where I'm at in my career or my journey of Jiu Jitsu is a little different than yours. But I can always bring you to the very basics of what it can do for you, just like breathing, just like your meditation will. I love the meditation will. That's one of the greatest things. It's hard if you get your mind wandering, but you kept bringing it back. And so I was like, man, this is really, really good. This is good information for our audience, and I hope to bring more men out. I hope to get more men involved. I think that those people will tell how great are. They'll broadcast for us. They'll be our biggest thing.

Tyler Word of mouth, I think, is the best way we grow. Well, should we get into it? Should we get into the topic? Should we? It's October, so we're going to deal in the macabre. Yeah. And I don't know, when was your first experience with death?

Danny Um, so my so so I share a birthday with my, my dad's mom. And her name was Effie. She Effie Effie. I know it was really cool. And she she loved me, you know, but we had a shame we shared a birthday. And she passed away at a pretty early age of mine. She passed away pretty early. But I remember Like being really sad, but everybody around me was sad. And I was like, is that how you're supposed to act? Because like, I remember like thinking also, like, I really loved her. Yeah. I didn't, I couldn't cry. Yeah. But I was thinking, am I supposed to cry? And I remember like being a little confused about that. Yeah. Um, she, uh, she was awesome. She, she was great. Um, she, she didn't like to speak. She didn't, she didn't like her kids and her grandkids to speak Spanish, but she hated to speak English. And so it was a weird thing. So she would talk to us in Spanish and what little English she knew. And I remember thinking, I can't wait to like talk like that, you know, but I never learned Spanish. And that's the first thing I can remember about death.

Tyler How about how old were you then?

Danny Maybe 16. Yeah.

Tyler Okay. Yeah. I mean, it was about the same for me. My, uh, my mom's father passed away from cancer. And I think he was the first dead person that I actually like saw, you know, we did the funeral and like, you know, you sit in the room and like, I do remember being very like, I was sad. Sure. And I remember seeing, I have a cousin and an uncle that I'm very close with were, you know, a few months apart. And I remember seeing my uncle just like he was, you know, six months older than me. And he was he was obviously it was his father, right? Like he was very upset, visibly crying and like very, very upset. And I wanted that for myself. Yeah. But I didn't. I mean, I guess I don't know if it was because I didn't have the same relationship or if like, I just didn't understand the gravity. But he was the first dead person that I actually saw.

Danny And yeah, same. I remember like thinking. when I seen my grandma, that I was like, I don't ever want to do that again. I still to this day don't really go. We'll go to funerals and funeral things, but I'm not like, yeah. I'm not up there trying to look at that thing. When my grandpa died, her husband, he was the greatest man I ever knew.

Tyler Why is it that our default position on death is sad? And grief? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to diminish anybody's like, I understand you're mourning the relationship. And that's our brains, inability to like, they can't categorize that person not being in anymore. And what I know about our brains is like, once you burn those neural pathways, they're there forever. And it's our brains way of kind of handling the hurt or the loss, right? So that's why we grieve. That's the importance of grief.

Danny So I read a book on death. It's interesting because humans are the only living being that can think about their death, create their death, see their death, like, and they can, they can, like you and I can go like, okay, I could die like this. We can actually think about it. And what it said is that So what happens is, is you put yourself there as the person dead, right? And then you think about your family members grieving over you. Yeah. So it makes you sad because you're like, Oh man, one day I'm going to be there. Yeah.

Tyler Which is real, which is what you in touch with your own mortality. Right. Okay. I mean, yeah, that's very, that's very interesting. Cause I know we're not the only species that, that more, right? Like there are, I think primates that carry their dead around until you know, a certain period and then they perform whatever ritual that they have.

Danny Yeah. You and I may have, um, like at times thought of our, our children or our wives or our parents or people in our lives that we care about, like how we would feel if they passed. Right. Right. And so that's, um, that's, that even in itself is like where you're like, well, don't think like that. Right. I can't think like that, but it's, the thing is, is it's not like we're not going to. Yeah. Yeah. We're, When I was a kid, I was terrified of dying. Yeah. Terrified. It would give me panic attacks. I would get so scared. Like, what? I'm going to be here tomorrow. And I remember thinking, what's going to happen when I'm 90 years old? And all of a sudden I'm like, I'm not going to be here. And I would, man, I would sit up all night and think about it and I would be terrified. And I remember thinking like, why are you, why are you so afraid of it? My mom, she tells me all the time, like Native Americans, they don't, they know they're dying. They're like, when they were, when they were in war, they were like, man, I want to die. The greatest death would be in battle.

Tyler Right. Right. Like same with the Vikings. Right. When I go to, you want to die and go to, I want to go to Valhalla.

Danny Yeah. Yeah. And she'd be like, you know, like you're going to die. Yes. But your legend, you know, who you are as a person is going to live on. And I think about that too. I think about that now. Like, I want to be like a legend. Yeah. I want people to be like, five, six, seven generations down from me and still talk about me. You know, it's one of the reasons why I got into the MMA cage because I wanted my kids to say, Oh, my dad did that.

Tyler You know? Yeah. That's, that's super interesting, man. I remember too, in high school seeing the, the, you know, the faces of death videotaped. You know, and that was a little bit more scarring because I think that was a little bit more traumatic. Yeah. You know, there's certain trauma that comes with death. You know, for those of you who know me know that I served a mission in the Mormon Church and on that Mormon mission, I was involved in a car accident. We rolled four times in the middle of nowhere Great Falls. While I don't 100% remember the whole story, I've read the police report. According to the police report, I did CPR for a significant period of time on this young man. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. I woke up in the hospital and was told he didn't make it. I was completely shocked, and I think that was my closest experience with death, my own mortality. But even to this day, I don't know if it's because I don't… You know, I don't remember a lot of it. It's not like I get some like I get sad. Sure. You know, I honor the Service that that young man was doing and I certainly my heart goes out to his parents that he was called called home or left this mortal plane so early, but Yeah, I just don't I for whatever reason I've never really contemplated my own mortality I've always kind of I still kind of feel like I've been invincible. I

Danny I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. Man, that's heavy, huh? Yeah. So, not to go too much into details because I know about this story. Yeah. And I remember the first time you told me, I remember thinking, what? Yeah. I remember one thought I had was, how easily you told me the story. And I was like, man, I can't tell if it, if, if it really did bother you or if you had, if you had been able to, to, to, to compartmentalize it enough throughout your, throughout your life to be able to be like, Hey man, like this happened, you know? I did personally put myself in your shoes. And I remember thinking, how would I feel If I had done that, you know, how long did you serve? How long were you guys together?

Tyler Um, so the interesting thing was, is he came out a transfer after I did. So I was probably a month or two, three months ahead of him. We'd only been together for, he'd been in my zone. He'd been in my area for, um, a few, a few weeks. Right. And we were on exchanges. So he wasn't my full time. He wasn't my full time companion. He was somebody that we had partnered up with, which we did from time to time. You know, you get sick of the guy you're with for six weeks and you just, you switch because you're in the same general vicinity based on how they break it up. So we had not, we'd spent some preparation days together, some PE days together, but we didn't really have much of a relationship. I didn't know him that well. He was from Pleasant Grove. Oh, really? Yeah, that's all I really do remember. He was from Pleasant Grove. And I have since moving to Utah, I've visited his gravesite. Oh, yeah. You know, to pay my respects. And, you know, I know that I was at fault. But the details, like all the details, I do remember doing CPR on him. Sure. I don't know his cause of death or if he was, you know, the CPR would have done, was doing anything. But like at that time, the instinct kicked in. I remember crawling back into the car and releasing his seat belt and bringing him out. But, um, you know, the details are so spotty. I remember waking up in the emergency or in the, the, um, ambulance as they tried to intubate me. Oh, wow. You know, this is rural Montana. So this was voluntary. It was on a dirt road.

Danny Yeah. Yeah. Today was the first time I read the police report. Yeah. And I remember thinking, you know, while you say, I don't know if you mean you're at fault, but you were driving the car, right?

Tyler Yeah.

Danny I mean, how many of us like literally spend, I mean, I spent so many times on dirt road driving a hundred miles an hour. We would go to the top of the hill at my mom's, like near my mom's house, turn off the brakes and then go down with no brakes. And if you hit the brakes, then you had to buy a six pack or something like that.

Tyler We did some stupid stuff. I mean, we were 20, 19 year old kids that were given a car and in the middle of nowhere, we were, I think we were late somewhere. I do believe I was speeding. I don't really, like I said, I don't remember all the details. I remember what the police report said. They did give me a citation. I did get a citation. You did? Yeah. It was like a $25 ticket, which in the context of like, sure, I just had to bury a friend, somebody that I knew. Would that have been the first time you did CPR? No, it wasn't the first time I did CPR. No. No, I worked as a lifeguard. You did? In high school. Okay. The first time I did CPR, I had a young man jump off the side of the pool and do a reverse cannonball. This kid was probably eight or 10 years old and misjudged the distance between his forehead and the coping. Oh no. Knocked himself out. Knocked himself out but split his forehead, just peeled it down. No way. And it was right under my lifeguard stand. So he wasn't awake, but we did get him out. I mean, as soon as I saw it happen, he was out. But yeah, it was the first time we did end up doing CPR because he was, I think when he hit that water, he immediately inhaled water. So we resuscitated him. We held him in traction for probably 15 minutes while the fire department showed up. took over, he made a full recovery, had some stitches in his head.

Danny Yeah, man, that's, that's interesting. So I don't want to gloss over your, your whole thing with, with your mission companion. Did you do any work? Like, did you, did you get any kind of like, trauma treatment? Yeah.

Tyler Yeah. The church provided a one counselor session. One. One. Did it help? I think it was only one session because I was like, yep, I don't remember anything. I don't remember anything. Right. And ultimately the idea is I didn't need, I don't need to personalize that experience. It, it led to some knowledge, right? What did I learn? I learned that I probably shouldn't speed on dirt roads or, you know, I probably should, you know, drive a little slower at night in rural Montana. It led to knowledge, which led to my, my identity. Right. Yeah.

Danny You don't identify yourself as, like I said, when you and I had this conversation about what happened,

Tyler I tease myself. I get, I get very sarcastic and I do kind of hide it behind humor. You will often hear me say, yeah, you know, I once killed a man, you know? And I mean, I, I like, I'm, again, I know that's the kind of macabre, it's kind of just my own morbid personality, but like, you know, I cared, I care deeply about his family. His mom passed away from COVID just recently. And that's why I actually finally feel comfortable telling the story.

Danny A little bit more. It's well, and here's the other thing is, is we can, we could attach, we could, we could force you to attach feelings that you don't actually feel right. I mean, there's, there's death. Death is real. Death is not something that's just going to like, you're going to miss everybody. It's not like you're going to be like, well, I'm going to be the one guy that doesn't get any death in my life. I'm going to be the one man that doesn't see death or doesn't have to deal with death. You're going to have, everybody has to. And The best way for me, me personally, like I, you know, I, um, in Vegas when Misty and I were in Vegas, we, um, are at the pool.

Tyler Yeah. I was going to ask, what was your, what was your experience?

Danny And it was just barely, it was just barely the first time that it's ever happened to me. Um, we're at the pool where we're getting ready to fly out. We had just gone to the pool just to hang out. Um, I hear the lifeguards talking to each other. Hey, go check on him. And I'm just kind of like listening. I look over and there's a man in the water. He's underwater and his kid is playing around him. And I can see, I can hear the kids like counting and I'm thinking, is he okay? He's just right. He's just under water, holding his breath for his kid. And the lifeguard's nonchalantly going over there. Then the other lifeguards more panic check on him. Yeah, they came up and the you know I could just see that they weren't a hundred percent positive, but I remember thinking and he can really hold his breath Yeah, they they she grabs him he turns over he's blue and purple and man I I jumped out of my seat. Misty said, I don't really remember very much except for when I jumped in the water and I grabbed him and he was a big man. He was really big. But I grabbed him and I picked him up. And when I picked him up, I went outside of the pool with his face up and he was laying on top of me now and he was a big i mean he was big and i couldn't move him and the guys around me were like get up from underneath him and i'm like i can't right and they're like you gotta get up from underneath him and i'm like how about you help move i literally can't yeah and then he's laying on me and now we pull him out of the water and the whole the whole we do the cpr um there was a little bit of chaos going on there and I, uh, yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't believe that that man made it. It was unfortunate. Um, after talking to some friends, um, I don't, I mean, I hope he did, you know, in my mind sometimes I'm like, you know, I have two thoughts. I'm like, no, you know, I did the best I could. I, I, I'm okay with what happened for myself. Cause I didn't sit around. And then other times I'm like, he lived a great life. He learned a lesson and,

Tyler I don't know what happened because I mean, go back, like how long were they doing CPR on him?

Danny We were about 15, 20 minutes before the community fire department showed up. Wow. And then maybe another five, 10 minutes before the actual fire department came up. Um, me and four other men, um, did CPR. I did one round and I remember thinking, Whoa, right. Exactly. Let's like, talk about, right. It is terrifying. You are scared. You are like, holy crap. I'm not doing this. Right. I remember thinking, I'm not doing this, right. I'm not doing this. Right. And then, um, another man took over after my turn. And I was like, I should have stayed in it longer. But Jesse, um, who we've talked about before, he kind of gave me his breakdown because he's a fire department. He is nonchalant. Yeah. He's like, they die. Yep. You will die. And you, you know, that's, yeah, he's got to deal with the face of it. That's a part of a lot of, you know, you, you did the best you could. Here's what you could have done better maybe. And You only do one round of CPR. That's your job is just do one round and then another person takes over, then another person takes over. And at that point, if nobody's there, we had to do something different. Yeah. The AED didn't work. Because he was wet? Because he was wet. Maybe. It just kept saying, resume compressions. No shock needed. And I remember thinking, bull.

Tyler So they maybe have picked up a minor pulse.

Danny No, Jesse said that it goes off of electric, electric, I can't remember the word he says, but he said that it probably wasn't a pulse, which means that you need to get his heart going to give some sort of electric current. Then it would want to give a shock. Um, it was my, it was the first experience that I ever had. Um, the weird thing to me was they kick us out of the pool. I go shower and Missy and I are like, well, what are we going to do now? And I'm kind of like in a daze and she's like, are you all right? And I'm like, yeah, I think so. I mean, nothing really happened to me. I mean, I tried my best, right? Yeah. She's like, how are you mentally? And I'm like, I'm okay. She was crying of course. Cause she has what happened. She put herself. Yeah. Okay.

Tyler And so, She didn't see the stud doing chest compressions. She saw you under the chest compressions. Yeah, both.

Danny She definitely, she had a little bit of both. Okay, good. But we, man, we were walking around, I had showered and I went to the security to see if I needed to do a statement and they were like, nope, I think we're good. And I was like, okay. Okay. Yeah, thanks. And then we walked by the pool and she's like, the pool's open. You want to go back out there? And I'm like, I'm thinking, are you okay with that? And she's like, well, what else are we going to do? Yeah. Yeah. We go out there and besides me and the four, the, the group of men and their families that were there, nobody else. I mean, everybody was just going about their business. They were, they were in that little pool where the man was at. And we were like, what the, this is a little awkward.

Tyler Somebody passed the whiskey, man.

Danny I got a little tuned up. I just was like, I'm going to drink. I'm going to drink for a minute. And then I'm not going to like, I'm not going to process it. and came home. And, you know, I was, I was able to like, give her a little bit of feelings and little emotions that I had, because it was a little bit, it was a lot, you know, I sure, first time I'd seen somebody dead. And then I talked to Jesse, I reached out to Jesse, and I reached out to Ray. And I just, man, for one, I thank them for what they do, because they're both, they're both in service in the line of fire with that kind of stuff. And then I just asked him, what should I do? You know, what's the best course for me? And then Jesse said, if you're thinking about it a bunch, if you think about it more than a couple of days, you have PTSD and you need to go talk about it. Yeah. And he goes, and for two, talk about it. Yeah. Talk about it. Don't, don't be embarrassed. Don't be shy about it. Talk about it. Right. And I remember thinking, cool, I will just like, you know, you, you telling me your story. I remember thinking, yeah, talk about it. Yeah, yeah, you know, it's it's you have to talk about it.

Tyler I didn't realize how therapeutic it is. And I know I make that joke. But like, yeah, maybe that has been part of the reason that I've handled it so well all these years. I mean, it's been 20 plus years since that experience in my life. And granted, I don't would never want to ever experience it again. Um, But one, I now know the metal I'm made of. I remembered CPR even after having a major concussion. You ran towards somebody in need and you pulled them out of the pool. So now you kind of know where you measure up. So you can hold your head up high, you can hold your shoulders back and carry yourself with some pride. Um, you know, it death is death is death.

Danny It happens to us all. It is going to happen. And you know, I talked to one of my friends and he said, you could, you could do two things. You could think to yourself, this is never going to happen to me, right? So I'm going to put it aside and I'm not going to, I'm not going to think about it. I'm going to just think that it happens to the next guy and it's not going to happen to my family. Or you could take it head on and you can be like, no, you know what? I'm going to live today so that I'm remembered five, six, seven years. My testimony and the way that I do things, the way that I handle myself, the way that I am, I'm going to leave a lasting mark on this world. I think that's how I think a lot of times. I'm going to be crazy horse one day.

Tyler They're going to be talking about me one day. I think that is the most beautiful thing about witnessing death, right? I have very specific instructions for my death, and I'm happy to share those. But when you experience those type of situations, you garner an appreciation for life. No need to delay anything. Go out and start that business. Or go out and ask that girl out. Or go out and buy the car you want if it's within your means. Live your life. Life is meant for joy. Life is meant for joy.

Danny Even if it's not even within your means, even if you're like, man, one day I'm just going to do this. Man, have fun. Live, live, live.

Tyler You're dying. We're all in the process. Let's live. We're all in the process of decomposing.

Danny I think that's so beautiful. I think that's the right way to look at it. Let's just live. Life is heavy. Everybody knows that. You're going to have work. Bullshit. You're going to have relationship. Bullshit. You're going to have other things that draw on you, bullshit. But you know what else we're going to have? We're going to have this beautiful, beautiful life that we lived. Man, I'll tell you this, the colors The colors and their fall colors. Dude, I know they are.

Tyler They are. They're amazing. This is exactly why my the instructions of my children are to when I die. I don't want a fancy funeral. I want you to celebrate my life, celebrate my life, celebrate my accomplishments. Hopefully I'm doing something that makes you all proud. Right. I want to be cremated. Yes. And then I want to be shot out of a T-shirt cannon at the top of Vail Pass. That's when the fall colors are just popping like they are now.

Danny If I implore you, if you are listening, they're not going to be like this for a while. They are days. Holy moly, we went up maybe another weekend week. And fall is one of those seasons. I think you and I talked about this last year. Misty was talking about fall clutter. We're going to shed some stuff. We're going to get rid of some things in the fall. But what happens is we tend to start to gather in the fall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kind of need to de-clutter your nest. Man, the fall colors are on fire. Go out and look at them. Go out and take a trip. Don't sit inside looking at them. Don't inside inside and think that tomorrow they're going to be the way they are. They are booming this year.

Tyler Perhaps stay off your bike if you're on Guardsmen or don't bring your tour bus.

Danny That was a weird thing. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So death It's one of those things. Let's talk about it. Let's um, man, you know, Tyler and I, we're not trying to put a, we're not trying to make it simple. We're not trying to make it like, like we're not trying to add jokes to it. We know it's heavy. We know that we know that there's things that cause us grief and death is one of those things. But the person that died would not want you grieving the way that you do that. I'm the same way. My kids know, I ain't trying to be, don't put me underground. Don't put me underground because I'm going to try to come out. Let's cremate me. And mine is, uh, they're going to put me in Cabo a little bit. They know they're going to put me out in Cabo in the ocean. And then, uh, there's a couple of spots in, uh, in Ogden area that, uh, that I really like. And, um, you know, I, I think that everybody should talk about it. I think that, Tyler and I have our own little stories and me we're not afraid to share them, but we just kind of wanted to make sure that You know that one people are there for you to Opening up and talking is is is not Seen as a masculine and masculine trait, but we're trying to Reinvent. Yeah that that part of our life, right?

Tyler Yeah, absolutely. I think our experiences are relatively civilian compared to some of the stories that could be out there. I definitely grew up watching a generation of my peers fight in a forgotten war in Iraq and Afghanistan. I've listened to some of the stories of the situations that those people are in. You hear the stories of soldiers that are coming back with PTSD and taking their own lives. It's incredibly tragic that there's those lasting impacts, but understand that there are people there for you. Whether it's just a friend, open up to us. I may not have had the same experience, but I can shut my mouth and I can listen and I can be empathetic. If you need to work it out with somebody more professional, find a therapist. There's lots out there.

Danny Don't keep it in. Don't keep it in. Yeah. And don't, like I said, man, live your life like you're a legend. Live your life like a legend. Write your own story that you want your great, great, great grandchildren to be passing on about you. Right? Right. That's what you want. You want those kind of things and generationally be like, It was that guy, you know, I started it all. I'm gang is gone. Yeah. What'd you got coming up?

Tyler Yeah. I was going to say legend. What do we got going on? Um, training, training for the blue belt test. Finally have a date. When is it? November 4th. Oh, perfect. November 4th. Cool. Hoping to mint myself as a new blue belt. Yeah. We got a trip up to Heroes and Horses in Bozeman. We're going to be supporting the Heroes and Horses charity. Fabulous charity up in Bozeman. That's about it. I'm kind of ready for ski season to start. Not ready for ski season to start. Starting to get cold. What about you? What do you got going on?

Danny Um, we're going to colorado this weekend. I'm gonna go see cody jinx. That's uh down at red rocks. Okay, it'll be cool. Um Man wrestling season wrestling season's kind of getting geared up and we got a bunch of stuff going on. Um, keep an eye out for us park city, uh park city wrestling Yeah, um They're they're great man. They're so they're so happy to learn and they're they're just happy to be around They, they think trip and I are like these just because, you know, trip wrestled at Wasatch and I coached for Layton, who's number one in the state now. And then I coached for Wasatch who, who's probably still pretty, pretty tough. Yeah. And I, and I, and Layton, you know, Layton, man, I, I'm really proud of those guys out there, what they're doing and for that program. Um, They're doing a good job out there and I think that I was a little cog in the wheel that started that whole thing, which is kind of cool. Absolutely. So we got wrestling coming up and then Tristan and I are trying to set out his, uh, his, his competition schedule. Uh, we got that going on. And so just training hard, I've been working my butt off to, uh, to get some, to get some accomplishments that I wanted to get, um, to tap some people that I wanted to tap. They're coming along. I'm good. I'm pretty happy about it. Yeah. So, um, thank you guys for listening. Thank you. Appreciate, um, all of you guys. We appreciate your views. We appreciate your feedback. We appreciate just the fact that you share some time and some space with Tyler and I and If there's any questions, make sure you reach out to us, you know, you can find us Sundays Park City jiu-jitsu open mats We trained throughout the week You can probably just come in there and ask if we're there or if we train there and they'll don't know who we are Hit us up on social media Lostboyscouts.com

Tyler Last Boy Scouts on Instagram, all the places you get your socials. Let's do it. Yeah. Compassionate gentlemen as well.

Danny That's right. Yeah, for sure. Okay. You guys be good. Thank you. Cheers, everybody. Have a good one.