Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Swell AI Transcript: S1 E18.wav
Danny: Here we are. Boy Scouts podcast. Here we go.
Tyler: Just another episode. Another day, Danny. How are you doing? So good. Oh, I'm, uh, I'm excited. We picked up a new sponsor. We did. Yeah. Who is it? Jitsi rings. Tell me about it. Oh man. Jitsi rings are specifically designed to, uh, kind of show your jujitsu journey on your finger, right? Um, it's a silicone based ring, uh, that you can use to replace your wedding ring or just kind of show off your dedication to jujitsu.

Danny: So let me tell you about this. This is from our friend Mike Dearson. Shout out Mike Dearson, his company. I wear my Jitsi ring every day. So for you on YouTube, you guys will be able to see, but there it is right there. That's the ring. It's a silicone based and honestly, um, I get questions about it all the time. Is that purple? And I'm like, yeah, it's purple. Why is it purple? And I'm like, well, cause I'm a purple belt in jujitsu. And people are like, really? That's awesome. Um, I had a white belt, I had a blue belt and I had my stripes

Tyler: on on each yeah that's that's pretty cool he's he dearson said he's gonna get me one uh for for my blue belt that's bad is that i mean that's the coolest part like you get you can upgrade them with your stripes always yeah i i personally just went with the purple because um

Danny: I thought that it just looked kind of unique and that it would draw attention. And, um, my first one kind of slipped off a lot, but this one stays on and it just, it's that silicone. So it really does do a good job. And when I'm training, you wear it while you train. I do. And, and it, I've every once in a while. I'll feel it slip past this knuckle past this one. Yeah, and I'll in between rounds. I'll adjust it just so the other day I was adjusting my ring and as I was training I One of the my training partner said what is that? Yeah, I'm like, that's my gypsy ring. I

Tyler: Yeah. So yeah, you guys know we're fans of the jujitsu. Um, was super excited to be aligned with this, this company. They are offering a discount code scouts 10 at checkout, uh, for a little bit of a sweet treat. They got some cool t-shirts on there. Um, they got some cool school rings. If you're into jujitsu and looking to kind of just wear your belts on your finger and just, um, kind of represent your journey, you know, check them out. Jitsi rings.com.

Danny: It's a, it's pretty cool. Um, And you always want to support your friends. Like that's what we were talking about last week, right? We were talking about that was we were talking about like being like having that ability to, to, to show like that you're excited for your friends. Right. Right.

Tyler: And it's a, there's a great segue into what we want to talk about today too. But like, yes, when you can share your excitement with your friends, like, That's when you know, you're around the right. That's when you know, you found your tribe agreed That's when you know, you found your tribe if you you know, you you get caught in the back biting or you know shitty comments like yes, it's sometimes it's fun to razz You know your friend your friends like you get it, but you understand that there is like an equilibrium, right? They're gonna get you you're gonna get them and like it's it's it can be playful fun But it has to be understood that it's playful fun.

Danny: It's funny when When you're talking to people that don't really that don't really do jiu-jitsu or don't understand jiu-jitsu, but they feel your excitement. And I'm gonna pick on my friend, I'm gonna pick on Tyler's mom right now a little bit. But we were talking to her today and she was just so excited to tell us to have fun going to jiu-jitsu. And it was like, it made me feel like when we were kids and your parents would see you with your friend having fun and they'd be like, hey, go have fun, hey, do this. But you knew that she didn't really understand, like, the jiu-jitsu, the mindset of jiu-jitsu, right? No. But she was, like, really happy to tell us her dog story. Yes. And to, like, have fun. Go have fun with jiu-jitsu. And I was telling her that I'd had a rough day. I'd had a kind of a shitty morning. Yeah. Only because of my own personal things that we're gonna we're gonna go down Yeah, the rabbit hole with but her excitement made me excited and that's what you want You want people to encourage you to just have a good time just right go and be good man And definitely if you dish it out, you have to be willing you better be willing to better be willing to take it Yeah, it's karma

Tyler: Yeah, for sure. It's karma. And it's like, it's what makes being friends with other men fun. And you're right, my mom doesn't really get it. And I think that's part of the part of what makes us gods, right? Like, a lot of people ask me, you know, post post religion, like what, you know, what do you what is your spirituality? Like, how do you how do you reference that? And I said, Well, I don't really, I don't prescribe to any one thing. I'm kind of a student of everything. But I do believe that like, what makes a god God is his ability to Ability to destroy sure and then his his benevolence not to and I think that's what jiu-jitsu is all about right to know what you're capable of to know That if you have to you could break somebody's arm, right? like you could or you could choke them out or more much worse right like and then having the benevolence not to because you know You don't need to sure

Danny: Professor talks about that a lot. Yeah, he talks about do you he goes you think that you have the ability to break? Somebody's arm. Do you do you have that in your mind, right? you people talk about it all the time and It's true. You put that arm bar. Yeah, and honestly do you have it in your ability to break somebody's arm and I Yeah, I do.

Tyler: It's interesting to watch it develop in myself because I would say early on in my journey, no. Sure. No. And I think that's why I started competing. And it wasn't until the second competition that I was like, um, I was really gassed out. And I was like, man, if this were a real fight, you have to, you have to make that equation, your brain, you have to put those pieces of the puzzle together. Like if this is a real fight and we're in a bar and this were happening to me, like, yes, I'd be safe, but Am in complete fight-or-flight here for sure and if I were in a dominant position Absolutely, I'm taking your head off. Yeah, you bet I'm taking your arm with me, right if you touch me I'm that's mine. Now. Yeah, it's like that SNL skit This arm, it's mine now for sure.

Danny: Yeah, I think like especially in our Academy It's not for everyone it isn't it, you know, like I as long as you're training I don't really care what you're doing where you're at. I don't really care like as long as you're training. I'm cool with it We have like a lot of like ideas about you just using a bit of really big growing area We definitely preach self-defense in our Academy. Yeah, but we also preach being there for each other like cheering each other on like professor Nick and Anthony, they're like, they like really about talk about encouraging us to cheer for each other. Yeah, right to be there for each other. Absolutely. And to know that like, if you don't tap, that person is going to break your arm, right? So you better you better tap. Right? Yeah. So that's not for everybody. That's that that is scary. No, yeah. It's a scary environment sometimes. Absolutely. Right? Absolutely. And you learn very early on to, um, to tap.

Tyler: Right.

Danny: Right. And you want to get that far.

Tyler: Right. And when you felt that energy, maybe you've rolled with one of the bigger guys in the gym. And I remember a few weeks ago, I was, you know, rolling with big will and he's ragdolling me around, but then I had the opportunity to get an arm bar and I put that arm bar on so hard and tight that I was like, that's it. That is the, that is the benevolence knowing that I can get to that position and like, You know rolling with somebody like him is not it's scary. Yeah, it's it is you are fighting for your your life and you know, he's he's you know, a gentle giant, you know, he would hurt you if he had to, but like, um, you know, you're certainly glad he's on your team, but you know, you equate that to a real life situation. If that were somebody else or we were meet under different circumstances, you know what I mean? Like there it is. There's a great example of, of being able to turn it on and, and finding, finding a situation and, and capitalizing on it. But then knowing, knowing you're benevolent. Yeah. You know, the second part of that, not to make this about God as our creative power, and we talked a little bit about that in our boys and sex episode.

Danny: Yeah, yeah that That in itself like when we talked about like comparison with I remember listening to the comparison Podcast just to kind of like listen to it and to gain Insight of where you and I you're in our brain was that yeah, but that was a second. Oh, here we go.

Tyler: This is It's we just finished training. We did like we're on one tonight. We're feeling good. We're on a high. Yeah, we're going to go back into it you're so like that

Danny: Don't have I have a good relationship with with a higher being but I don't actually always Prescribe to a god right and I was listening to our podcast and I was thinking like some I hope people relate to us that we do have we do believe that that there is a higher power Absolutely, right? Yeah, there always is something that will keep you in check checks and balance right, right and If as long as you have that in your life like you're going to be okay And as long as you put people like the like a good a good energy around you Yeah, it encourages you to build relationship. Yeah, whether you prescribe to a religion You prescribe to a god, right? Right. Um, and and it's okay like if you disagree with me, it's okay with you disagree, right? But we'll find common ground and that's what you want. That's why Encouraging your friends to be successful is because you find common ground.

Tyler: Yeah, exactly You know and you want to come you want the best you want the best for that person, right? And even if it's not the way you see things, yeah You know you you wish them the best and it makes you a better person a better person

Danny: So what do you do with those difficult people because that's really the topic we're gonna get into today is those difficult people difficult situations those challenges and allies when they challenge you when they challenge you right and so a little backstory There's lots of things that I will tell you are great for you that I will tell you they are great for you I've done some research on them. I just don't do that myself. I don't prescribe to them. I don't I don't Cold plunging to me is horrible. Right? Right. I just, I don't, I don't like it. Right. I don't cold plunge for the, for any benefit. I don't, except that I'm scared of it. I do not like to be cold and it's a challenge for me to get into the cold plunge. So I'm like, stop being a bitch. Yeah. That, um, that meme. Stop being a bitch and come on. That's what I think to myself, right?

Tyler: So inherently your challenge is just exposing yourself to the water, right? Like you don't need to be the Andrew Huberman Iconic. Yeah, I'm gonna get the 11 minutes or I'm not gonna get the benefits No, you are your challenge is the you know is different then and in the summertime, it's easy.

Danny: Oh Yeah, cuz it's 50 degrees right right now. My cold plunge does not get above 40 degrees Yep, mine as well and I and I don't know how I stand in there with just my legs and I'm like I can't I can't Tristan's like that get in get in get in get in get in stop being a bitch stop being a bitch. Come on, and I'm like

Tyler: It's interesting. I've watched my times go down too, because I'm like, even with ice in the summertime, you still can get out. But with an ambient air temperature of like 36 degrees and a water temperature of like 38, 40 degrees, you're like, it's miserable. Yeah, it is a different type of challenge now than in the summertime.

Danny: And I got called out. I got called out because I wasn't doing it correctly. Right. And I ended up getting into a Keyboard warrior battle right with somebody that challenged me an online troll an online person that challenged me there that I just I kind of like responded The way that I would like normally in person if we were in person, right? I would say the same thing right and I aggressively Was like I kind of I got my feelings hurt because that's not what I'm about. I don't care I don't care right that person challenged me and I responded badly and we ended up in I mean, I was back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And I was sweating. I was pissed. And I was like, I gotta stop. Stop, Danny. Stop. Yeah, what are you doing? And I was like, Yeah, I don't give a shit. Yeah, I'm going all in. Yeah. And I and then I and then I, I was in a bad mood. Yeah, a really bad mood. And Misty could see on my face. I was in a bad mood. I forgot to get her coffee. I forgot everything. I was just like, I was pissed. And I was like, I mean, I got it. Why am I getting caught up in this? And I was like, okay, this is a good thing to look at. This is a good thing. This is a good thing. Yeah, this is a good thing. This is a good challenge for me right now.

Tyler: Absolutely. Yeah, I mean because who who won was there a winner never no, there's never a winner, right? and if anything right like because you spent your day, so Spun up in it and believe you me. I am the type of person that will ruminate on All kinds of shit forever like he kind of won right like he kind of he kind of tapped you he did he got me and

Danny: Yeah, we talked about this in one of our episodes where like I'll play catastrophic like thing But I was playing in my head like if he was in my face like right now, what did you do? Yeah, and I was like fuck it the fuck off.

Tyler: Why do our brains do that?

Danny: I? Think like well, I think for one Fight mm-hmm. I fight. Yeah, I fight like I um, I fought a lot of times and and so It's something that I don't like about myself right that I that I look back on and I'm like I feel bad about that and I feel bad about it and I kept telling myself all day long knock it off Danny knock it off, but I couldn't and I would replay in my head what I would say and And then, you know, I, one thing that I think that we, that I've learned is to talk, is to not hold it in. And so I talk and so it would get better. I talked a little bit about it. I taught the 11 o'clock class all white belts. And they were so stoked about what I was teaching them. And that helped me a little bit. The training didn't get anything out of me. It was not a challenge, right? They're all white belts, yeah. And they didn't stick around. Tripp and I did a couple things that we needed to work on. But his energy was so good today. He was like, Dad, we're going to both trainings, and we're going to make sure that at one of the trainings, everybody's there. And we're going to get our asses kicked. And I was stoked about that. when you deal with difficult situations, what's the first thing that you what let's say like you've had some difficult situations, right? And the challenges that like, like that nobody's wrote in a book about how to deal with it, right?

Tyler: You can water crops with the tears that that I've, uh, uh, that I've, that I've cried and I'm definitely that person. Like I've, I have allowed my, my reticular activation system, the part of your brain that filters life to, to allow me to ruminate way more than I would have liked. I've ruminated over stupid shit, like the dude that cut me off in traffic, what I would do differently and what, You know, I've ruminated over how I would have done the divorce differently or how I would have handled a job situation differently. I like to say I've really beat myself up with that rumination and you feed it. You do. You feed it. It's so true. And so what I've had to really train myself to do is, okay, when I'm in this situation, what valued action can I take to redirect my brain? Because our brain is constantly wanting to solve problems. It wants to solve a problem. That's why it keeps trying to solve this problem. And unfortunately, in terms of computing, this problem is an open loop. It's in the past. It's never, you're never going to be able to resolve it. So the computer, if it were a computer, your computer would just freeze trying to solve this. Yeah, you get that spinning, that spinning wheel of death. So you have to one, start asking, you know, giving your brain questions that it can solve. Sure. And you have to redirect that energy into valued actions.

Danny: We talked about we've talked about that a lot of like redirecting energy. Uh-huh and and putting it into a good a good space and When you get stuck when you get stuck in like those those fight-or-flight moments because that's what I was that's what I was in That's what we've been in his man is like that fight-or-flight like right and I know that like in every life form I'm a fighter. Yeah every life. I'm in a fighter, right? Yeah, and Those battles that you that you don't win that you just like man, I didn't win I didn't win right I didn't win and how can I deal with that and I did learn I did learn but I didn't win and I'm like I can't get past that. I couldn't get past it today. I couldn't, I was, I was so stuck. I was so stuck on like what I should have said, what I should have done or want to fight with everything. Um, there, I almost like, even Misty was like, Whoa, you're, you're like really being aggressive right now. And I was like, yeah, knock it off, Danny.

Tyler: You needed the training. You needed the training to go work it out. You needed to redirect that value. And that's legitimate. That is a legitimate way of handling the situation. And congratulations to you for figuring out the outlet, right? It's been hard.

Danny: It is. And growing up with like the single mom, like without the fathers, without a dad to show. Problem solver. Yeah.

Tyler: I'm like, you want to fix? You want to make things right? Yeah. I, for one, and I don't know about you, but I was way interested in making sure people liked me. Agreed. I wanted people to like me more than anything because I was, my brain was trying to figure out what's going on at home. It couldn't, it couldn't resolve what was at home. And so I wanted people to like me to a fault. And I used to use the term that I was loyal to a fault. And I've come to learn that one, loyalty means nothing. Loyalty will get you to abandon your values, abandon your principles. And what you should be striving for is really trust, because trust is reciprocal. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, you can feel that, right? Trust, trust, trust is reciprocal. If I trust you, and you know, you can trust me. It's a kind of a two way street, whereas loyalty will often challenge, right? People will often ask you, to to to Compromise yourself for sure for your own loyalty and you will compromise you will compromise yourself.

Danny: You'll compromise your values To prove who you are as a person to like solidify who I am as a person, right? Yeah compromise that stuff. Absolutely and That's a good way to look at it. Like had I had I Just taken a step back. Let's say like as as I'm as I'm getting into this argument online, which is easy to do. It is so easy to get into. If somebody challenges you and not where you can see them in person, it's easy to start typing all this crazy bullshit, right? But let's say you're sitting there next to me. You're sitting there next to me like, Danny, are you, are you, do you, are you gaining anything out of this? Yeah. Then I have to answer that question to you. And I realize that I'm just feeling like this challenge that I can't win. Right. And all of a sudden I can go, no, I'm not getting anything out of it. And you're like, okay, let's, let's reframe it then. Yeah. Let's redirect your energy. And maybe, maybe I'm still pissed and you're like, that's cool, man, but you don't got to go down this path.

Tyler: I mean, I think that's what's interesting, right? Because it'd be very easy for me to tell you what to do. But if I would have told you what to do in that situation, would you have listened to my advice? No, Helmer. No, no. You were hell-bent on protecting whatever it is you wanted to protect. And I'm willing to say that this is the same situation for this keyboard warrior, right? On the other side. On the other side. On the other side of any conversation, any time you're on, like, they are… Quite often, it's your ego, right? Your ego is trying to protect itself, right? And so, as we get into these situations, I have to start looking at it from the other perspective. I like to use the analogy, you can't see the front of the label from inside the pickle jar. Right.

Danny: We said that last time.

Tyler: We said that last time. Yeah. Right. So you have to start flipping it. So give your brain another problem to solve. Okay. What about this conversation? What is this showing me about him? Because this is more about him than it is me. And maybe that's a tad narcissistic because I'm putting it on the onus on him, but I'm also saying like, okay, what am I seeing about him? And what does that teach me about myself? And that's where I bring it back into myself. What am I learning? Okay, this person is whatever. In my case, it's always the ex. I've had a bad interaction with her, and I've said a bunch of stuff that I ultimately regret, and I could have handled differently. And I'm like, okay, I see my ego trying to protect itself there, but what is it telling me about her? Because 99% of the time, whatever she's projecting at me, is her own issue, or their own issue. And that's what I find what's interesting with my, you know, in my exit from the church, right? When I get into those arguments with those people that are in the church, that are defending the church, that like, I have no ill will towards the church. I can't be stuck hating the church, because if I'm stuck hating the church, the church wins. Agreed. And I want nothing but the best for all of humanity. And if that is following the footsteps of that religion, great, do it, do it. But don't project that I am doing something wrong.

Danny: Yeah. Yes. That's what I was saying. That's that was part of my when I was trying to defend what I was doing is I was just like, hey, this is the way that I do it. Just because it's not the way that you do it doesn't mean that I'm wrong. Right. And then I took a shot. Yes. Which ultimately was the shot. Right. I just took a shot. I took a shot. And when you look at it like that, where you're like, hey, man, I'm I'm happy for you. Yeah. Like, I'm happy the way you're doing it. Like, I'm great. challenging. You know, I think that the that the Internet, it has gotten easy to, you know, pick on picket people, right?

Tyler: It's easy because what I mean, it's what some ones and zeros.

Danny: Fake pictures. Yeah, there's no reason you can't say anything. There's no recourse. Yeah I'm you're not gonna punch me in the face cuz I'm not talking to you right right in directly, right? Right. Um, and I think that's me where I get stuck. I Yeah, you know, I I want the best for people as well. I want you to succeed. I'm I feel that myself I I really encourage you to do whatever it is do go wherever go to whatever Academy you feel is best for you right go and And learn your journey, whatever's best for you, however you feel is best for you. Right. You want some advice from me? I'll tell you my opinion about things. Right. But it's just an opinion. Yeah. And opinions are like assholes.

Tyler: Everybody's got one. Everyone's got one. And they're all stinky. They stink. No, I mean, that's that's that's so true.

Danny: That's so true. Yes. I didn't mean to cut you off.

Tyler: No, you're good.

Danny: I liked how you put that.

Tyler: Yeah, I mean, I just I just find it is it whether it's friends that I'm arguing with about about the church Like it does mean no benefit to point out the different things, right? Because the negatives the negatives right like or the research that I've done whether it's a fact, right? I'm so certain that this is a fact. Yeah, I'm like, okay fact Yeah, right like it's not a math equation, right? Like yes, maybe there's been some peer-reviewed studies or whatever like nothing is a fact and Your truth is a perception your own brain has put together. That's the whole Einstein theory of relativity, right? You look out of one eye, I get a completely different view than when I look at the other. Yeah, true. Like, it's two different views, right? And are they any less facts? Right. Right? No, they're not. It's all relative. And it's all a mental construct of what our, you know, gelatin inside of our head is put together. The only reason that we agree that, you know, a fire is a fire is because collectively, as a species, we've decided That little flame as it reflects into our eyeball is a flame, right? And then we get so caught up trying to wrap our brains around what is true and what isn't true.

Danny: And there's always going to be those people that will challenge, just to challenge, right? They don't have any dog in the fight. No, but they they get a little In the military and I don't even know where this came, but it was like you showed me where your goat was tied Right. That was a scene that would say like you showed me where your goat was tied And that means that you showed me what upset you so now I'm gonna pick it. I'm gonna pick at it I don't have any the only thing I'm the only reason why I'm picking at it is because I see that it's upsetting you and And with the internet, it's easy to do without a balance. There's no checks, right? There's no balance. It's me and you typing in all this bullshit towards each other, and there's no checks and balances. Because if we were talking to each other, and one of us got upset and was like, I'm punching you in the face. Yeah Yeah, we're good about that. So then we when you look for outlets, right? That's why I like for me. I have no other outlet Yeah, yeah, you too is my outlet and I need you to give me the energy to give to let out the adapter To really get that out out because if not that I'm carrying all that way with me because I fight yeah so then we go to training tonight and and it was like no easy rounds. Nope. There never is. Cookie was saying that today. Cookie was like, you know, the Academy is at the point where there's, you don't get a rest round. And if you get a rest round, you are so thankful, right? That you're like, okay, cool. Yeah. Cool. I got a rest round. I can breathe, but there's no, everybody is training so well. Yeah. And so you take that negative energy and if you, Continue that negative energy people are gonna feel it and they are going to tune you up. So you know that.

Tyler: Oh, yeah Absolutely. I I have to admit in a moment of vulnerability that I have been that person like I would love to like mine Fuck you Like if I knew something was kind of you know, I would pick at it. But then I realized that like That was my issue. That was my own ego Trying to protect itself wanting to be important wanting to find you know what? I mean wanting to elevate myself And you kind of have to dissolve that and of course it dissolves when everything in your life falls apart because eventually karma will catch up to you always right and

Danny: It's it's it's crazy how that works, right? Um, there's always going to be Something that corrects you right? You're not you're not feeling good about yourself you or you're like projecting that negative energy There's always going to be something Will correct you that will get they'll get you back and be like, oh shit. Yeah Sometimes it's a monster black belt that just is like shit man. What did I do? And you could be like, what the fuck did I just do? And you're like there they could be like well your energy dictates How my energy is right? Yeah, and I think about that a lot. I think about that a lot I think about like when challenges come up like when I when I'm struggling as a man And I'm struggling with like, uh, it's gonna be a cool, it's gonna be a cool batteries. Yeah. Uh, when I'm struggling as a man and I'm struggling with things that, um, I just, I can't grasp. I don't, I don't understand. I always think if I continue to fight, if I continue to fight and I don't just accept sometimes just accept, I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get a I'm gonna get a correction Yeah, you know and I have to I have to really be careful sometimes cuz I'll push.

Tyler: Yeah, I Mean, I felt it tonight as well There was a couple rounds in there where I was like, I'm just trying to go with the flow rolling with Kip and like I Okay, I felt like I was going a little harder than I recorrected my energy and like we flowed a little bit better and then there was another another couple rounds than the purple belt that I felt were just like it was like You know and you have to you have to correct but you ultimately comes down to what can you control sure? What can you control? Mm-hmm. What can you yourself yourself? That's it. That's it your emotions your emotions your emotions your feelings your your thoughts your actions your energy like you can control just this and You can you can voice

Danny: Things that are upsetting you right and and people don't have to accept that they don't have to like they don't have to like Coddle your feelings. They don't have to like be gentle with your feelings but sharing feelings as a man sharing like why you're upset sharing the The insides that we show because we don't we're not taught to share. Yeah to share our feelings but if you share them in a in a good environment in a good setting and

Tyler: Your friends and the people that want you to succeed are going to like Encourage good behaviors exactly right encourage good things for you I mean, that's what's so interesting about that the Jordan Peterson book to bring that back up from so many episodes ago the 12 principles right correcting your children's behaviors shit that You you know society won't won't appreciate you have to you have to correct that we are learning creatures We learn from our progeny You have to correct your children when they are doing something that you don't like. Yeah, when when my son's being a Dumbass I have to call him out on being a dumbass. I have to correct the behavior and but at the same time I also have to expect that there may be points when I I'm getting called out as well.

Danny: Yeah and accepting criticism and accepting those things is hard as a man because you're not taught Again, you're not taught these skills of like your friends want the best for you. So they call you out on your bullshit Yeah, like It was cool because when we were driving like to jujitsu, I was just venting. I was venting. And then you said, do you want me to give you a suggestion or do you want me to just listen? And I was like, no, Tyler, I need you to give me suggestions. I need you to give me insight. And you were really gentle with, with what you said, but it was direct. It was like very clear of what I needed to do. to redirect my energy and not get stuck in a loop. Because I was stuck in a loop, right? I was just stuck in that.

Tyler: So horrible. It's so horrible. It's the worst place to be. I was. And I've been there. I've been there so many times, so I can sympathize. It's the worst place to be.

Danny: Yeah, I was. And so I'm grateful for the environment that i'm in i'm grateful for the fact that like i can accept uh defeat you know i can accept the fact that like today um i was successful in learning um but i when you're challenged as a man never take it, um, to the point of like, it's, it's a loss.

Tyler: Yeah, right.

Danny: Because we're always just learning, like, we're not, we're, when we started this thing, I told we, I said, from the very beginning, I'm learning, I'm, I'm, Progress. Yeah, I'm not I don't know everything. I don't I don't project to know everything. Sometimes I come off as being arrogant maybe toxic But I try not to be I try to be I try to be a good dude And I get stuck sometimes. I mean I need to be called out.

Tyler: I'm gonna reframe it I would never call it toxic. I would I would call it passionate and I think I think more. Can we get a sponsorship? Always? Yeah, right. Like, I would say passionate, right? Like, because there's a difference between toxic and passionate. Sure. And and certain people, you know, they have their thing. And I would say for you, jiu jitsu is your thing. It is it is a passion for sure. And and I and I would I personally have been I have I've confused your, your, your not necessarily toxic, but like your passion for, and I just have to remember, Danny is passionate about this and it's his passion that draws me to the whole community, right? It's your passion. It's like, I want to be there. You make it fun. You create the environment that, that makes me want to go. And when I'm feeling like a fucking slug and won't get up to training, I can count on Danny to like, I can count on his passion pulling me in and lifting me up. Yeah, and that's what I need. I need that at times. I need that at times. I can't, I, you know, and there, there's certain times when I'm like, Oh, Danny's texting me again. And I'm nervous about it because I know that like, I've got all this other stuff going on and I'm like, I'm just going to be breathe and I'm going to get to the next training that I can get to. And I'm just going to be grateful that I have somebody that is so passionate about, about this. Yeah.

Danny: Yeah. And, and I hope that like, um, Passion passion carries you To to higher levels right because oh absolutely Not that like I mean, here's the thing like I've been doing this this this thing for a while, right? I've been doing how many years So I've been training for the better of 10 years just in jiu-jitsu. No, so So I've been doing the whole grappling scene rapper. Okay, almost let's see here Braxton's so almost 14 15 years of training grappling. Yeah, and Jiu-jitsu specifically almost eight years, okay, and

Tyler: And the age of accountability, eight years. Yeah. That's when they baptize you in the Mormon church. Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah. When you're eight years old, you are now accountable. Is that what it is? Yeah. I never understood that. You're basically like, you are fully aware.

Danny: Oh, that you're accountable for that. Yeah.

Tyler: Nevermind that science says your brain doesn't completely develop until like 28. Yeah 31.

Danny: It's it. That's a weird. That's a weird thing That's we gotta talk about that one day because I have questions about that. Yeah Yeah, I've been yeah. Yeah, I'm young. I feel like I'm young in yeah in jiu-jitsu But when I see like my friends who are like two or three years into jiu-jitsu I always have to remind myself that like I I'm at in jiu-jitsu that like my journey of jiu-jitsu is Different than everybody else's because I was I really wanted to fight. Yeah, I really wanted to do MMA. I wanted to be In the cage. I enjoyed that. I wanted to punch you people in the face and When I found jiu-jitsu, it changed everything Yeah changed who I was really as a man.

Tyler: So my question for you. Did you have a Danny? I

Danny: Yes. You did.

Tyler: I did. There you go. Yep. Cookie. Cookie was your Danny. Cookie. Let's get into this real quick. And, um, let's talk about this. Like how Cookie, um, yeah. Tell the story because we, you know.

Danny: So Cookie was good because he understood that I was a wrestler. Yeah. And, and, and that I would get frustrated. Yeah. And so when I started, Cookie was a blue belt. And he understood that I like to fight. And he would always tell me, don't get flustered. Use your wrestling. Don't get upset, but just keep coming. Get past all the other bullshit. I'd get away with some wrestling techniques that would save me. And he would say, don't don't lose the wrestling. Don't lose the wrestling. But remember, like, it's, there's a different game here. Don't get frustrated, you're gonna get tapped. And he would always say, just keep coming. Just keep coming. Yeah, just keep coming. My first competition, I was like, amped. I was like, ready to fight, ready to fight, ready to fight. And he was there. And he's like, And you're forgetting to have fun. And I was like, Oh yeah, there's some fun aspect to this. Cause I would forget to have fun. I would just be in there like trying to grind and trying to fight and trying to like, I wanted to fight. I really wanted to fight. And then he would, uh, he would always reach out to me and be like, Hey, don't forget to go to training today. I'll see you at training. Hey, I'll see you there. And I'd sometimes be like, I've got to go to wrestling. I've got to do all this other shit that I'm doing. But I wanted to see him so bad and hang out with him that I get all this like, like nervous energy of like, there's all these excuses to tell you why I can't go, why I can't go. And then I'd be like, fuck it, I'm gonna go. Yeah. And, and so yeah, so like, we're today cooking and we're talking about the fact that like, he's a black belt. And I was like, it's crazy for me to see him with a black belt on. Because I would, because, uh, I, yeah, it's crazy for me to see him with a black belt on. Yeah. And so he, he was right there for me. He's always been there. He's always been such a good dude. He's always been there for me when I call him and like, he doesn't text. He always says, Hey, remember, I don't text call me and he'll like, and so I'll call him and we'll have like, you know, 30, 45 minute conversations about shit that I'm struggling with. And he'll be like, just keep going, man. Don't forget. Yeah. Always keep going. Yeah, he's a good dude. He's a good dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Tyler: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he sat on me for a whole three minutes And he's small right?

Danny: It's so good because like I said, I mean, he's he's my size as far as weight and I Leading up to his black belt. I felt like I was kind of like catching him and he's tapped me more times than I can count During our training. I'm like, yeah There's definitely a mind shift Yeah, so he was my Danny he's always been And Nick Hallett. Yeah, like I always been good for me. Mm-hmm Nick was a purple belt for me, but Cookies been cookies always been so good for me And when I was telling him the story of what happened today, he was like, don't get caught up in that shit. Yeah, don't forget. And he always says, don't forget, we punch people in the face if we need to.

Tyler: Yeah, I mean, I mean, that's true. Like if it comes to pistols at dawn or like whatever, like you got to you got to take care of your own. But at the same time, you also have to realize, like, when do you when do you even need to give that energy? Just let it go. And when it comes to the Internet, Let it go. Almost never. I know. The trolls are plentiful. No.

Danny: It was a good thing for me today. I was super vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. And I was grateful for like you holding space for me. It was cool because we have so many things going on in our world. If you and I, we have so many, our projects are coming to fruition, right? Yeah. And we have like, Hopefully in the next little while we have some really big announcements that we're going to be doing and I think that we're building in our We're still organic. Yeah, right and the Academy is thriving with the people that are going on and the feedback that we get from people that listen to the podcast that understand our journey understand what we're doing are like stoked. Yeah, for what we're gonna what we're gonna what we're gonna launch.

Tyler: Yeah. It's it's about coming from a place of authenticity. Right. And if you have to If you have to get behind your keyboard and talk shit or project, like you're not coming from an authentic place. If I have to call you out and tell you whatever, you're toxic or you're this or you're that, you're that. No, that is a direct reflection to yourself. 100% direct reflection into yourself. And so, I mean, nothing is worse than the rumination. Nothing is worse than the rumination. It's a terrible place to put ourselves in. And I've spent more time in the last two years in rumination than I have at jiu-jitsu, I'll admit. It's hard. It's a hard habit to break. We are not susceptible to it. But I have to be kind to myself. And luckily, I've got a friend who always tells me to be kind to myself.

Danny: And you need that you need you know, like to wrap up everything that we're talking about like yeah just surround yourself around the people that you want to be around exactly and When you find that community, that common unity, when I talk to people, I tell people, find a common unity. Find something that you can be grounded in, that you agree on. And that's a common unity. Start there. We can always circle back to that. We can always circle back to the fact that if we have a relationship and we're good, we'll find common ground. Yeah, we will. We are not going to call each other out. We need to if we got to if we're like, okay, I can't I can't get past this Yeah, then we're gonna go train. Yeah, and we're gonna come Like how we did tonight like just so excited and so relieved. So like grateful for The fact that we have this platform to talk to people. Yeah, and it's like to be a good role models for up-and-coming practitioners, men, because we have all these things that hold us down. And we reframe, we redirect that energy, and we're good.

Tyler: I really do love this. I'm super grateful. This episode will be coming out the day after Thanksgiving, so hopefully everyone had a good Thanksgiving. You know, at the end of the day, if you cannot find that common unity, turn to your breath. Sure. Turn to your breath because the the common unity for all of humanity is our connection through air. Yeah. And I know you got some exciting projects coming up with with with breath and with air. And I'm gonna give you a second here to just kind of say what you want to say about it, because this will be coming out when it's when it's ready. And yeah, I'm excited to see what you've got going on.

Danny: Yeah. So by the time we release this podcast, so you guys know that we always are a week before But the web the website will be up for my breath work coaching my breath work project and Luckily, I've had a lot of people around me to encourage me to to do this because I'm nervous. I'm scared, right? I am scared. I'm scared of like people Critiquing what I'm doing and telling me that who the fuck am I? Yeah, like help people but listen man, like everybody has trauma everybody has things that set them back and The one thing that you can do that you can always do you can always Focus on your breath. You can always get to a place where you're like, hey, I can make it to Tomorrow I can make it through this next minute I can make it through this next day and if that's what I if that's what I do if that's where the project goes That's all I care about. Yeah It doesn't matter to me. Like, well, I'm going to help you. I'm going to figure, we're going to figure out a plan. And that's what my, uh, my project. So my website is, uh, it's called just breathe. And it's, it really just, just breathe.

Tyler: And that's so, I mean, it's so amazing. Right. Yeah. Right. Like you can go, I don't know how many days without food, like three weeks, you can go, you know, three days without maybe without water. Yeah. Right. How long can you really go without air? You can maybe three minutes unless you're one of those diver guys that can do that.

Danny: And we talk about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's cool. Um, so breathe, just breathe, just breathe.

Tyler: Such a good name. Just breathe.

Danny: Uh, thank you for, thank you for everything that you've done for me. Like, honestly, Tyler, like, um, you've been a huge help for me and like, um, I always send you my ideas and you always like, give me like your input. Like, you know, like, Hey man, do this or like simplify it because sometimes I get wrapped up in a bunch of bullshit and you're like yeah hey man just uh let's go back to the beginning what are you trying to do yeah And I'm grateful. My community supports me and I'm stoked to release it. We're going to do classes, we're going to do simple routines, sleeping, morning routines. If you want to learn how to grapple with breath, I'm going to show you how to do it.

Tyler: Yes, yes, yes. I want it all. I want it all. I got to know, are you still taping your mouth at all?

Danny: I do take my mouth. So, um, the funny thing about the hostage taping or, you know, the taping of my mouth is I don't do it regularly. Yeah. But I know that I don't sleep, that I sleep with my mouth closed.

Tyler: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a learned habit, right? Like it's a learned habit.

Danny: Yeah, we'll get into it. I have some funny I have some I have some cool stories that we'll get into about the fact that like what how you can help yourself Keep your mouth closed.

Tyler: Alright, so let's plan the first episode in December is gonna be about breath and be about air and breathing and You know to the success of your website. Thank you And, you know, Danny's been helping me with my own breathwork and he's been training me. I'm super excited for this opportunity for him and could not endorse it anymore. Breathwork beyond meditation, breathwork beyond, you know, breath is life. It is. It really is. Breath is life.

Danny: I'm excited. I'm excited for the we have some. I'm pretty sure that in December and January, we're going to have some huge announcements where our path is going to go and how we're going to grow this community. It is. And we're going to bring everybody in and we're going to be able to, like, share this journey with people. It is. And I'm stoked. Like, I think like today was a good learning experience for me. And I'm grateful for the person that was opposite of me today. And it was challenging me today. And I'm When you have those challenges, remember, like, be grateful for those. Yeah. You know, be thankful that that happens because it's going to make you a better person.

Tyler: It is. And, you know, I posted this on my gratitude challenge yesterday. The diamonds, they are created under tremendous amounts of pressure. For sure. And hard men will find ways to put themselves in those challenging positions. And if you avoid it, it's okay. Be kind to yourself. Maybe you're not ready. Maybe you've got other things you've got to work towards. But find a way to grow, find a way to grow.

Danny: Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Thank you. Yeah. Happy Thanksgiving. What, uh, let's see what else, what do you got coming up?

Tyler: Um, you know, I'm, we, we are still coaching away. We are, we've got a couple more coaching sessions throughout this year that we're, we're going to open up. I've got, I think I got room for two more, um, gentlemen, if they want to join some, some private one-on-one coaching. Um, we're going to open those, we're going to open those up. I keep a pretty, pretty heavy schedule. But if you are looking for how to change your mindset, if you are looking for how to come back to yourself after a divorce or a relationship deteriorating, or if you are lost, it's okay. There is guides. We can we can work with you and help you find yourself and check us out lost boy scouts calm Continue to listen to podcast just breathe calm. That's so good. It's sexy.

Danny: Thank you. Yeah, that's cool You can uh, if you have disagreements with us if you want to challenge us if you want to get a role a three-minute role We don't do much more than three minutes because we're a little bit older. Yeah, come see us at Park City Jiu-Jitsu our Sunday classes and Open mats have been 25 people plus we're getting lots of Lots of people coming in lots of people Hearing about us. So we're trying to grow that community. Absolutely.

Tyler: Come hang out comes come see like how tough we are Exactly exactly exactly if you yeah, if you question any of it if you question the authenticity You know where to find us. You know where to find us. You know where to find us Cheers. Thank you guys.

Danny: Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Cheers guys.