Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Swell AI Transcript: S1 E19.wav
Tyler: Welcome to the last Boy Scouts podcast. Danny, how are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Oh, I'm doing great.
Danny: I'm doing really good. Yeah. Yeah. You have a lot of excited energy going on lately.

Tyler: I, it's honest. Honestly, I've been ebbing and flowing a lot. Like you were, you were in Mexico and I was probably, it was pretty dark for me here. I'll be honest. It was pretty dark. It was, you know, dealing with a little bit of my own demons, a little anxiety, a little,

Danny: Does the holiday seasons kind of bring that amongst us, especially like for me, cause like I did not have good holiday seasons. Yeah. It's not like I mean, Missy fights with me because, um, only the last couple of years do I, um, really appreciate what she does for, I posted a bunch of pictures on Instagram because she like loves, but she had great Christmases. Her Christmas started, her dad always put up the Christmas tree. He always puts up the Christmas decorations Thanksgiving day. Hmm. So they would all do it. And, uh, not me. We like maybe got Christmas up about a week prior. My mom was, excuse me. My mom was always really good. Um, but you know, my dad was never around and five kids. Um, I always remember feeling like, And that's not really what I wanted. That's not what I asked. I made a Christmas list. Santa didn't pay attention to my Christmas list. But my mom did great. She, you know, she, man, she had to budget for five kids by herself.

Tyler: Yeah. And that's tough, man. Even as I do it for my three, I'm like, what am I doing? What are we doing? There's so much consumerism around it. But I'm very in a similar vein, right? Like Christmas is for me, In fairness to my parents, they did the best they could, right? My dad always had Christmas. We had some great memories, but I have some real pain points with Christmas. And I told my Instagram stories a few weeks ago about the eviction my mom had on Christmas. Really? Yeah. I did not see that, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, no. You were in paradise. I didn't explain. But it, like for me, and I was the same way, my ex was always like, you know, why are you so gloomy around the holidays? And I'm like, well, Thanksgiving and Christmas were always when my parents would really get at each other. Oh, sure. There was always some battle. There was always like this anxiety about who I've got to pick to be with. And it's been really hard for me not to project my experience on my own kids as I deal with it now. So in addition to that, like I had my accident was just, you know, December 18th. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. So if you've listened to the accident episode that happened in December, right? Like, so like I have some pretty imprinted trauma around Christmas, but this, this year I felt like it was a turning point for me starting at Thanksgiving. Sure. How was your Thanksgiving by the way? What did you, uh,

Danny: It was good. Um, it was, it was super mellow because Braxton's not in town. So Braxton, as you guys know, is my older son. He's not in town. Um, Tristan had to work. Yeah. And so even that was kind of crazy for us. Um, we went to our parents' house, um, went to Misty's dad's house and it's always fun up there. I like to have a great relationship with her dad. And yeah, we went up there and, uh, we actually went to my mom's house and Misty's and my mom's relationship is pretty contentious. Yeah. At times, you know, they've got really big, strong personalities and, um, with heritage, you know, like I kind of protect my mom a lot. Yeah. And luckily, you know, Misty stuck through with, stuck through me with me through some times when, you know, I probably should have asked my mom, Hey, like, don't do that kind of stuff. You know, I should have been a little bit better with my wife and saying, Hey, Like you can't do that.

Tyler: We spend so much time as, as, as young children, young men protecting them as boys of single mothers, right. We protect them and, and, and to, to their own detriment. Right. Like there's probably a point where we have to start calling them on that. You're an adult. Yeah.

Danny: And my mom is great. Like my mom and I's relationship is great. I just heard Misty's relationship. Not so good, but they're getting better. And so we actually went to my mom's house, which was actually really cool because Um, we went there and hung out there and, you know, they talked a little bit. And so I think things are going to start moving towards us, um, fixing that part of our relationship, but it doesn't mean anything to me. Like I'm, I'm married to Misty, so I kind of give her the space to do however she wants. Right. And then, um, we, Went to Misty's aunt's house. We just did a little bit of around Layton and she got some really cool. She's so into old furniture and oh, yeah, yeah, you know, she, you know, you have to see about this all the time. You guys have that connection where you guys can talk about it. I'm like looking at you too. Like what in the world are you talking about? Let's go antiquing. Yeah. She got this, uh, blanket. a holder. Oh, cool. It is cool. So she had some blankets on there today and I was like, man, that really is kind of cool, you know? And so, um, that was it. We were mellow, came back home, um, chilled and just, uh, hung out. We, we knew we were going to Mexico, so we didn't want to get her Christmas tree so quick. Um, I was kind of worried about Tristan not watering it. And so terrified that he's going to kill it, you know? Yeah. Um, what'd you guys do?

Tyler: Um, man, I didn't, I had this year was not my year with the kids. Oh yeah. So, uh, I am proud to say that I didn't eat one bite of turkey, no stuffing, no gravy, none of it. I didn't have any turkey. I mean, I love, I don't get me wrong. I love a good turkey. I love the stuffing. I love the, you know, I love, but you know, I, I, I'm trying to change my own narrative around the holidays. And so I really just went to myself and said, what do you want to do? And the kids got up early and went with their mom. I went and did early morning yoga. After yoga, I came home and showered and went out in the woods, got a little bit of elevation. I sat there and journaled for a little bit, and then I headed down to Salt Lake and served served dinner to the homeless population here in Salt Lake, you know, just did some service. I did a lot of service when I was a member of the church. And since then, service in the terms that the members are serving other members, right? I'm assuming they're doing better now since I've left, but they don't really get outside of their own community. But I do miss that aspect of like serving, like just doing some service. And so it was really awesome to be able to just say, Hey, I've got so much, you know, it's a, it's a matter of like retraining my brain. I have so much. Sure. Even though I'm stressed about a lot of things, I've got my own issues. Like I'm just going to get out there and I'm going to serve a very interesting seed, the homeless population here in Salt Lake, largely male. Oh, Yeah, largely male. And, you know, I'm not gonna like say that they're like the most grateful people when that's happening, right? I'm sure that they wish this kind of service was, these kind of opportunities were happening all year round. You know what I mean? Like we kind of put on airs and say, oh, we're serving Thanksgiving, you know, for the homeless population, but they probably wish that this was, there were services for them year round. Man, I wish I had more ability to tap into some of the, the mental and psychological things you could, I could see just going through my own journey. Um, you know, they need services. They need, they need help and they don't know how to get that help.

Danny: And yeah, we don't do a good job with our homeless community. I don't think we like with, um, helping them, um, with the things that they need. Right. Right. Like, you know, like you, I drive past him and I'm like, man, Every once in a while I have those feelings of like, I just wish I knew how they got there. Right. Right. Like what happened? Right. What, what, what, what happened? What, some of them like probably just, it's just their life and they understand it. Right.

Tyler: Yeah, I think it's that learned pattern of helplessness, right? Like, you just give up. You know, you stop, you stop trying, or you are trying and you just get beat down that you eventually give up. Like, you know, I don't know that there's one, you know, that there's one common denominator for them. I'm sure, you know, there's definitely, I could definitely tell there were some people struggling with addiction. Sure. Um, the biggest thing that I saw was just the, the need for mental health services amongst the community.

Danny: Yeah. We kind of had that conversation with Jesse today too. Yeah.

Tyler: Yeah. And it, and I mean, it's, it's, it's really difficult, right? It, you give too much and people start, they start expecting. Sure. So it's a double-edged sword. Yeah. You know, I think you do what you can and you say, at some point, like Jordan Peterson says, you have to be willing to treat yourself as somebody that's worth taking care of. Yeah, that's worth it. Yeah. Did you get to see Doug? Yeah. And then, so I was down in Salt Lake. I haven't been down in Salt Lake in, you know, a while. So I went down to visit my dad. He's healing from his surgery. I remember you telling me. Yeah. He see he's doing well. His fingers look like sausages, but he fell off a ladder. You know, the dude's climbed ladders his whole career, never fall. And I've seen pictures of him wacky as ladder positions and, you know, fell off a four foot ladder.

Danny: He just wasn't prepared for it.

Tyler: Yeah. He's like, man, if I were, if we're a little taller, I'd probably get my feet under me, but yeah, he couldn't get it. He was smoking a Turkey. But then I just didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I wanted to be alone. Like I wanted to just, so I came back to my house, it was empty, put on a movie and, you know, heated up some leftovers. It was just like. at peace with myself, at peace with myself. And I had a really good Thanksgiving.

Danny: Good for you, man. Like that. It's good for you to put it into perspective of like, what's good for you. What do you want to do, especially like without your kids and without those responsibilities of taking, making sure that they have a good Thanksgiving because Cammie was had him and Cammie's family's big.

Tyler: That's great. Yeah, no, they had a great, they had a great Thanksgiving. I, You know, and so it was, it was about me and like, really just like, how do I heal my own emotional trauma around what I grew up with the holidays?

Danny: Sure. Yeah. I forgot you went to the yoga. Cause we, uh, we had open mat that morning and, uh, yeah, it was insane. That, that open mat was crazy. Was it busy? It was just the right amount of people. Right. But it was also like, um, Just the right amount of belt level. Right. And so, yeah, we had that. And it was funny because I think people like kind of sometimes. lump you and I together, but they were like, where's Tyler? And I was like, I don't know, he had some date with some ladies at the yoga or something like that. And they laughed and they were like, wait, what? He went to yoga? And I was like, yeah, I mean, he just, he didn't want to come to jujitsu and he had that plan already. And so, but I think sometimes like that people will just always assume that like, I know where you are, where you are in your training. Right. Like, Sometimes I'm like, I don't know. I didn't check on him today.

Tyler: There's one yoga studio here in Heber and I've been going to it, you know, at least once a week. Right. Um, and, and Casey, the owner and her, her yogis or whatever you call them. I mean, she, she made a point to reach out very early on and I'm like, I figured we'd probably have something on, um, on, you know, Thanksgiving, but I just, nothing was planned. And when she reached out, I was just like, yeah, I'm going to go. Yeah. It was, it was packed. It was the most people I've seen in her studio. It was sweaty and gross. And I'm like, I used to think that like jujitsu was a little, You know, like the yoga was a little bit like less smelly. Yeah, but it wasn't. Yeah.

Danny: No, no, they still dead. It's done. It's funny because Misty went, Misty had class in that morning as well. She had a class at the pit stop and she said that it was wall to wall people in the class. And I was like, man, that's cool. Um, I think doing that kind of thing in the morning, like earning your earning your meal, your meal is kind of cool. Um, Yeah. We, uh, yeah. Yeah. And so the episode came out, the last episode came out just right after black Friday. Yeah. Black Friday. Right. Yeah. And, uh, that in itself, like that week leading up to it because of the episode nine, I'd had a couple of beers thinking it. And I was like, man, was I running of the mouth? I remember calling and being like, Hey dude, I maybe need to listen to that because I was a little worried that maybe I was like talking, um, being somebody that I shouldn't be, or I'm not usually right. Um, but, but when I listened to it and when I, when I heard some feedback, like people get into that world sometimes and get stuck, like, I mean, like I got sucked in, I got sucked into a fight on the internet and I had some emotions about the fact that I was, um, talking about it out loud, right? Because I kind of just wanted to go in my hole and forget the episode even happened, right? And it was cool because I had a couple friends that said, I don't know how many times that's happened to me, where I got into a text war or a war that you, we can't, we can see each other's face. And, you know, maybe the fact of the matter was, is like, I was just being sensitive or the other person was being sensitive. And now we just want to show our masculinity towards each other. Right. Right. And, uh, it was cool because I, uh, I was not as, um, Thoughtless on the episode as I thought. Yeah, I still am, you know, I had a good conversation with professor about it and about the fact that like, it's not who I am, you know, I'm not the kind of person like, I'm not the kind of person that will like talk. down to people or correct people unless they have to be right. But then in that moment, like I kind of needed to self-correct. I needed to self-correct to be like, Hey man, don't, don't do that. Don't get caught up in that kind of shit.

Tyler: I mean, it's definitely an interesting dichotomy, right? Like we, we practice a martial art. Sure. Right. And there is some pride with where you train. Right. And I think at the end of the episode, the overall overarching message we wanted to share was like, we don't really care where you train. Sure. we just want to see you training. Like the more people that are participating in whatever martial art, you know, there's the, if it's not Academy versus Academy, it's, you know, Pepsi versus Coke. It's Apple versus Mac. It's Android versus, you know, iPhone. It's, you know what I mean? But the, at the end of the day, like some of that is, is, is somewhat healthy. Right? Like, cause I remember like, we always use the term like ego is not your amigo. Sure. Right. And I remember we were, we were talking about ego, in the, in the Academy one day and, and Anthony strolls in and, you know, he's just, he's just, he's an artist. Right. And he's like, you need some ego. Yeah. Your ego brings your ass back to the mat. Right. And like, so there is, there is some pride, there is some pride and there is some, some, you know, honor. And like, you want to have, you want to represent your gym. You want to represent your sport. Right. Like at the end of the day, like, we're all doing this practice to be better human beings.

Danny: Sure. And, and jujitsu is that kind of a, um, world, right? Where it's hands on. Yeah. Right. So like whenever I give you energy and you and I share energy, we share energy. And if you give me negative energy, then I'm going to probably give you the same kind of energy. And you could look at me and be like, what in the shit did I do? How come you're, and I'm thinking, I'm just matching the energy that you're giving and you're like, now I have to match. Now it goes back and forth. And, and, but if we give each other positive energy, like today, today, when we were training today, everybody on the mat was tough. Yeah. Right. Even Mitch is like durable. He's, he's, he's older and he's. Bless him, bless him that he's at his age, a white belt, and willing to go out there and still train. You know when he walks, looks across and sees Will, he is like, please don't hurt me. Because I'm like, please don't hurt me. He's huge, man. is learning so much about himself in jiu-jitsu, and he's loving the fact that he's learning jiu-jitsu, right? Yeah. But everybody on the mat had positive energy. There was a lot of positive… We were… Professor taught for almost an hour and 20 minutes. Yeah. Right? And then we trained and the training was tough. Like we were, we were not taking it easy on each other and nobody got mad. Nobody got upset. Everybody looked at each other and was like, that was awesome. We're sharing energy. And that's kind of the same thing. Like in those moments when, you know, when you, when you, when you're, you're losing control of your emotions and you're losing control of your ego and you're losing control of who you, want to be in that moment. It's just energy. Yeah. Right. And if you can look at it and go, Hey, I learned something from it, you know, and I did, I learned, I learned, I learned. And I, I, uh, I know that at this moment that it won't happen tomorrow, but who's to say that it's not going to happen the next day or the next day or the next day. And that, you know, whenever I train the next time and somebody gives me negative energy, right. And I don't like it. And I'm like, okay, cool, man.

Tyler: Right. Well, I mean like, what's the saying old, old habits die hard. Sure. Right. I mean, we are, we are in control. Sure. We do need to learn control. And I think that's what's, I mean, it's the beauty of jujitsu, right? You learn to control your energy that, that feedback, that feedback is instant. Sure. Right. Um, I'll never forget the day I pushed Anthony the wrong way, but that's like, Nope. Wrong thing to do.

Danny: Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. I remember the noises. Like the level of noises that were coming from that side of the map.

Tyler: Right. It was, um, you know what I mean? And you don't know, you don't know until you, you hit that. And, and the thing of it is, is you got to stop taking it personally. Sure. I mean, you can't take anything personally. Sure. And that's hard not to do, right? Like our brain is hardwired for survival. And so when we see a problem like that, our first thing to do is, our first thing our brain does is jump to like, how do I survive? What problem do I need to solve to survive? Okay, do I need to protect myself? Am I protecting myself the right way? I remember after that incident with Anthony, I was like, I did something wrong. I didn't realize what I had done wrong. And I just had to ask him, I'm like, hey, I don't, I'm here to learn. And I think that to him was probably one of the more endearing parts of that experience was that like, I was like, I'm, I was just trying to get the round going. Like I, I didn't realize, you know, what I did wrong, what protocol, like I'm here to learn, like show me. And then like, it was like, no, no big deal.

Danny: Yeah. Yeah. And, and those guys are so good at moving on from, from things. Right. And I think you learned that. And as we grow through our journey, because we're still pretty like really early in our journey. Right. Oh yeah. Like I've, I mean, I've been doing Jiu Jitsu for a while and I feel good about like, my progression, but I'm really early in my career. Right. Which is why sometimes like I still make mistakes and still have to, you know, toe the line of like making a mistake. Same with you. You're pretty early in your career. Right. And so with growing as a man, I think that's part of it is, uh, the learning, the fact of the matter is, is that you're, you're, you're early. Like when you're learning, you're like, this is not the first, this is not the 10th, 15th, 20th time I've done this. This is the first time that I've done this. And then, and so letting yourself off the hook. And we've talked about that before, like a lot, let yourself off the hook, man. Let yourself off the hook. Don't hold yourself to these crazy standards every single hour, because we're just not built that way.

Tyler: I thought it was so cool today as how Professor, he kind of equated it to artistry. People want to kind of free form. They want to jam. He plays the guitar, right? And it resonates with me. My brother and my dad both play guitar. And before you can really, and you play the guitar, before you can really jam, You have to know some chords. Sure. Right? You have to know a few notes. You have to know how to strum, or you don't have to know how to… You can't… And like, I think we all want to be… Yeah, we all want to be Picasso, or we all want to be, you know… But you have to learn some of the fundamentals. Sure. I mean, it's true with skateboarding. It's true with everything, everything you do.

Danny: Right. And even like how we are learning, like as we go with the podcast, we go episode and episode and episode and episode, and we wanted it to go in like a linear line. Right. Yeah. And, and now we kind of like ad lib a little bit more because we're a little bit more comfortable with talking to each other and using this platform to do, just like you said, like, We, we know a little bit of the structure, right? And so we can like ad lib. But when we first started, we were like, we had our notes, we have a script, we got a script. Yeah. Yeah. And so, um, learning those, those little small things and remembering that you're like, it's okay to be a white belt, right? Like it's okay to be white belt forever. Right. Like, it's cool. Like to come in and be like, Hey man, like today I wrote some notes and like, we're going to follow this scripture. And you're like, cool, man. I'm cool with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's, let's do that.

Tyler: And it's fine. I think it's fine to have some notes, right? Like I always try to take a few moments after a class and, you Yeah, you do. In my jiu-jitsu journal, what did I learn? What can I remember? Because you don't retain it all. Sure. Our brains are incredibly complex. We retain so, so little. So little, yeah. If I hear the saying, it's like drinking from a fire hose. One more time, I'm going to lose my shit. Everything is like drinking from a fire hose. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Yeah, it's such a funny Have you seen those those those videos of like guys that are like there's one guy on the fire hose I'm will have Jesse talking to us about it's like one guy and he's like You can't drink from a fucking fire Yeah, it's literally cannot do it.

Danny: Yeah, it's not like you'd put you yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's bullshit. That's a bullshit analogy But it's funny because people get it, right? Let's kill it from our lexicon. Yeah, no, that's cool. No, and so, you know, that was good, man. Like, that was a fun… I thought it was a fun listen when I listened to it and remembered how I felt, you know, the day of. Because I was still pretty hot, you know? And then, of course, I had those moments of embarrassment and I had those moments of like, shit, I'm probably going to have to toe the line with a couple of people if this really gets out.

Tyler: Sometimes the piper may call. Yeah, for sure. Somebody might show up to the gym. For sure. And then we've been inviting them for a long time.

Danny: And he's like, hey man, I want to take you up on that offer. I want to take you up. With his eyes and you're like, shit, oh. And you're like, I'd rather not. And he's like, yeah, we're going to, yeah. When you put it on the podcast, we're going to figure it out. Yeah. Um, and so, yeah, it was cool, man. I got, I was, I was stoked on, um, the whole thing. What is that?

Tyler: Uh, apparently he was a racetrack. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Danny: It sounded like a, it did sound like that. Yeah. Somebody's in the background going a hundred miles an hour. Yeah. But what else did we do? We, uh, we cold plunged.

Tyler: Oh, the facility, I have to admit. Cool. It was beautiful. Yeah. It was beautiful. Inspiring.

Danny: Yeah, it was good. It was, it was cool. We were kind of doing a little look and see how, how things with the sauna. Cause we sauna and shower or we sauna jump in the snow. Jesse told us don't jump in the snow. Cause you might get frostbite. And I was like, well, I don't go in there for that long.

Tyler: Yeah.

Danny: I'm not, it's not like I'm there. Yeah. I'm not swimming in the, I do swim in the snow every once in a while, but yeah, I mean, but we just get cold.

Tyler: It's the same. It's the, it's the, it's the one to one to three minutes of cold disposal as much. And if it's more than that, then something's going really well for me.

Danny: Um, it was cool though. I mean, like, um, you know, there, there, uh, yeah, it was a cool, it was a cool experience to go, uh, sauna and then get in the cold plunge sauna and get in the cold plunge. Um, I got. PTSD from the cold plunge. I don't think I'm gonna do it for a while. Yeah, you need to I I'm telling you I love Telling you about benefits of things. Yeah, then I'm still like don't do that shit. I Tell people all the time like you yeah triangles are great triangles are great I don't triangle nobody because man size of my body if you smoosh me I'm gonna be hurt for a couple of days, right? And I've tried it a couple times like to triangle somebody and then was like no Nope, that's not for me. But hey, you should do triangles, man. They're awesome.

Tyler: It is interesting, right? You hear people that do an extended amount of time, and I've listened to a lot of podcasts, and it's your own practice, right? It's your own practice, right? You can get in for a minute, you can get in for 10 minutes, right? Is there a right way to do it? Well, there's a scientific way that they've studied that you get the most benefit. There's a maximum effective dose, right? The maximum effective dose is, What's going to kill you? And let's just back it off just a little bit.

Danny: Agreed. And I was kind of you were like, even said you were like, man, you were you were hammering down. Yeah, I was charging. I was like, I'm gonna see I want to test my body. Well, I tested my body. And I was not good. I mean, I honestly thought I had the flu. I thought I had the flu. I thought this COVID bullshit. Yeah, this one of those things where it's like, I'm manifesting me being sick. I left that place. And I had Heater on, all my clothes on, freezing. Went to work, freezing. I sat there freezing. I ended up leaving work, went home, got in bed, and I was like, got the flu. I have the flu. There's something wrong. And Misty's like, you are such a hypochondriac. What is wrong with you? You pretend to be so tough. And she's like, if people could see you, they'd tease you right now, right? Dude, I was, the next day still cold. I was still cold. So I ended up looking to see like the negative benefits, what I would, I Googled like, what's a negative benefit? And so they said cold shock. Cold shock is just like a heat shock. It's like a heat exhaustion. And I think that's what it was. It was kind of like, I felt like the flu like symptoms, my every bone hurt. My muscles hurt. I was like, what in the world? What did I do to myself? And then PTSD set in and I was like, well, I'm not cold plunging anymore.

Tyler: Right. And see, that's where like the science is like, okay, cool. That's what works for one subset of people. Right. I worked with this girl back in Denver who was from Wisconsin and she was like, yeah, I don't go in the cold. I'm like, why, she's like, I don't ski. I don't, I don't go in the cold. Like, why don't you go in the, I don't, why don't you go in the cold? She's like, well, I'm allergic to it. I get hives. I literally get hives when I go in the cold. And I was like, you get the hives when you go in the cold. Yeah.

Danny: It was, um, Jesse was talking about the day when he got in the, he was five minutes in the, in the, uh, river. Yeah. Then went and trained. Yeah. There's no way I could have trained and you'd got in the river. Yes. Went and trained today. And I was thinking, man, I admire that. I do think I can get around the cold just to not be a bitch.

Tyler: And then maybe that's the practice for you. Right? Like I was, I didn't do five minutes. I was in there for maybe a minute, maybe, maybe a minute. Right. And even when I'm in the cold plunge here, I'm like, I'll do a minute. I I'm the same way. Like I enjoy the practice. I like the shock of it. And like the, you know, and I do feel the benefits in my hands, like the cramping and like, but I mean, I, I don't need to be a hero. Who, I mean, what am I, who, who am I, what am I proving to anyone by spending seven minutes in there? Right. Like I get that, like maybe it's mind over matter. Sure. Right. But I think, I don't think that I have anything to prove to anyone in that type of practice. Right. Right. I'm doing the practice for whatever benefit I get out of it. It's my practice.

Danny: Yeah. It's funny because I kind of like think about how you and I were talking about truths and principles today, you know? Yeah. Truths and principles. And people can tell you, well, this is the truth. This is the truth. And you're like, okay, that's your truth. It's your truth. But there are principles. There's principles behind it, right? There's principles behind it. And I believe in those principles. But your truth could be your truth, and my truth could be just slightly skewered and different, and I could defend the shit out of my truth. I'll be like, this is the truth, and this is why it's the truth. And you're like, okay, but what about this? And then I'm like…

Tyler: It's still the truth.

Danny: Yes, you make a valid point, and I believe your point, but this is the truth. This is the truth. Religion gets kind of seedy with that.

Tyler: So bad. So bad. We talked about that a little bit today. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I spent a lot of years, like somebody will show you evidence of something and you're like, Yeah, but, I mean, obviously cognitive dissonance kicks in, right? You want to protect your ego, right? Your brain is solving the problem, how do I protect myself? How do I protect the fragileness of my ego? Right? And I do believe, I believe truth is subjective. Is there such a thing as universal truth? Well, I believe universal truth really means we as a collective consciousness have agreed to X, Y, or Z. We call it a flame because we all agreed that it's a flame, right? We call it a book because we've all agreed that this is going to be called a book, right? We have certain things like that that we can consider truths, right? But what is truth? Sure. What is the truth? Right. I mean, I mean, what is, I mean, there's a difference too, between telling the truth and like, what is the truth?

Danny: Right. Yeah. Because you could be like, well, a flame is also a light. It's also a light. You're like, wait, but it's a flame. And you're like, but it's also a light. Right. And so that's part of that whole, like why you're doing what you're doing, like what you're doing, what you're doing cool. And I'm, I'm proud of that. Like I'll support everything that you're doing. you wanna jump in that cold plunge for five minutes, I'm gonna support you. If you start to feel bad, I'm gonna tell you why you're feeling bad, right? And it's only gonna be like, it's not like I'm a scientist. Whenever I'm talking to people about breathwork, there's a lot of ways to do breathwork. You wanna find somebody that you resonate with, that you agree with, that you feel like they are only gonna get you better. Their job is to get you better. There may be better, There may be somebody better out there today. The professor said it today. He's not for everybody. He said, I'm not for everybody, but I believe in what I'm teaching you. I love that. I love that. That's easy for me. It's passion. I understand that. I'm not for everybody with breathwork. I'm not. The way that I do my breathwork, the way that I believe in breathwork is just my own personal take on it and my personal practices. And then I go back to why I'm doing it. What are my principles of why I'm doing my breathwork? And what am I trying to gain from it? Just like when you're telling me, Things that you're doing right like it's cool, man. Like I'm stoked for you, right? You know, it may not be for me right and that's cool. You could be like cool, man Well, here's you know, here's some other people you can talk to but just make sure that you're doing some sort of work, right?

Tyler: Yeah I mean, I think that's a that you bring up an interesting point when I tried to when I try to force my truth on you. Mm-hmm my subjective truth on you. Sure. Like, I can respect your truth. And this is why I do tend to default to principles, right? There is a You know, there's a universal ethical polarity to them, right? Like, a principle is true for both people. And I know I'm using the word true, but like, if I treat you… if I'm expecting trust from you, right? Like, trust is mutual. Like, it's a two-way street. It looks the same way. It is a mirror, right? If I'm being… honest with you, right? Like, honesty is, it's bidirectional. There's some bidirectional to it. Yeah, I agree with you. Right? Whereas, like, people will die on their sword, like, for sure. Yeah, they will. Like, think about, like, the flat earthers. I know.

Danny: People that don't, they'll be like, Well, no, like vaccinations are not true, right? You should not get vaccinated. And you're like, well, why, let's, let's talk about it. Let's let's talk about it. And then when you start to just die on your laurels, like you're like, man, I'm, I'm, I'm dying on this sword. And then there's, they start questioning and questioning, and then you get angry. It's probably because now because somebody's questioning you, now you have to defend how you are. And now you get worried. You get worried because you're like, shit, what if I'm wrong?

Tyler: As a missionary, that was me, right? Like, you go and you debate with somebody on the Bible. Like, how stupid is it to debate with somebody over a book? Like, what do I have to gain? Is this person actually going to join my religion because I can show them something and we're arguing? There's a level of contentiousness there.

Danny: Yeah. That, yeah, that would be hard. I, that would be hard for sure. Like, um, to defend, especially because you're young and you're, you know, you're on a mission and you're, you're young. And so you're like, really want to like prove how, you know, you're, you know, your scriptures, you know, your stuff. And you have so much ego at that time. And, you know, as a young man, and so you're, you're defending it and people are questioning you and you don't quite know how to handle somebody questioning what your truth is at that point, right? And so you have a hard time, you know, I always find it interesting that they send you out that young to preach something that they find so, like religion is not like some small subject. It's a big subject. And I always found it interesting too, that they used to get sent out so young. That was one thing that I always think is like, why would I listen to a 19 year old? Well, you and I have different lives. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, we're not, we have different lives. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so I think that that's an interesting, as you, as we kind of like roll that part of like this podcast, like just remember, like, no matter what respect, respect, right? It goes a long way. And you respect what other people bring, what other people give. And that's why with jujitsu, you respect people. You don't wanna disrespect certain aspects of it. You don't wanna disrespect certain aspects because then somebody has to correct you. They have to correct you. And so, As long as we respect people and we understand that like, we don't know everything, right? We don't, but in our 44, 40, I can't remember how old you are. 42. 42 and 45 year old worlds. Yeah. We've seen a lot of, we've seen a lot of things, you know? And so there's times that we can be like, hey, this is a principle. And your truth can be a little different than mine. Right. But you can base both of these around a good principle. Right. You know, when we talk to young men and when we discuss this with our younger generations and our younger children, younger men. we want to remind them like, Hey, be cool. Like with your ego and your truths, right? Be cool with those things because you know, you, they could be bullshit at your 19 year old age. Right. And when you turn 45, you could be like, what the heck was I thinking about?

Tyler: Don't let, don't let anything stick to you. Yeah. Don't, don't be so defined by external sources, right? Like know who you are. Sure. know who you are, know what you stand for, know what you're willing to do, what you're willing, have some non-negotiables, you know, know what you're willing to stand up for, what you're willing to really die on your sword for, but don't get so caught up protecting your ego that you start to lose touch with humanity. Sure. Right. Yeah. That you, you, you lose respect for the other person on the other end of the conversation. For sure. Because at the end of the day, what does it matter? What does it?

Danny: Yeah, and then you go, now, if you offend somebody, or if you offend their principles, now they, you know, it has to be escalated, right? And you don't want that kind of. No. You don't want that kind of damage in your life, because what if it's unfixable? Right. Right. And so, you know, I always appreciate, like, when you and I have these, like, cool conversations when we're driving, and then I can, like, kind of process them in my own. Yeah. My own way, right? I really do appreciate with principles. Like I appreciate your principles. I appreciate people's principles. Like if that's your principle, cool, man, then I appreciate you. And I can respect that. But if you give me some bullshit of like, this is the truth. And it's like, well, I can disagree with that all day long. Then I'm like, nah, I don't really. I'd rather argue about that and fight for you about that.

Tyler: I remember having times when I just like to argue. I just want to argue. When I could tell somebody's stuck in their way, that to me, my brain lights up and I'm like, I kind of want to pick at that a little bit.

Danny: Yeah, let's go see how fun we can make with this. Because you're not having fun when your cheeks turn red.

Tyler: Right? And I remember a conversation we were having in an Uber one night and I was You know, I'd had a few and the Uber driver was telling us that tai chi was better than jujitsu. And I'm in the car with the guys from the ice rink and, you know,

Danny: All of you guys do jiu-jitsu?

Tyler: Yeah, three of us are in there doing jiu-jitsu and I could see Tristan over there, his ears were steaming. And I was just like, Oh yeah, tell me more. How do you do it? How do you pull your chi? Like, what do you do? You know what I'm like? I'm just being inquisitive. I'm asking questions, trying to get this guy to open up. And, uh, you know, I could tell that he was like, he was, he was into it. Yeah. He believed it. Yeah. Yeah. And I just kept asking questions. That's so funny.

Danny: It's a good man. I think like, that's a good part to have in your life. I think like you said, you have moments in your life and, uh, you know, then at the end of the day, like we're, uh, we're, we're in that moment of, of our lives where you and I can kind of look back at our lives and be like, we've had some really cool experiences. And that's why, like going forward, that's why we're always growing. Right. That's why this year, your, your Thanksgiving was, was what you wanted to make of it. Right. And our Christmases are going to be what we want to make it. You have the kids this year. Last year, we had such a good Christmas with our family. We went out to, we didn't even cook anything. We went to, we went to a restaurant. Right. I thought that was amazing. Right. So fun. And so you have like, you can always make adjustments and as you get older, you learn quicker. when you're like, that shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have happened and I'm gonna make sure that doesn't happen. So we went to Mexico and we go to the same place in Cabo every time. Shout out to the Solmar Resort if you get a chance. Solmar Resort, hands down, best place I've ever been to. It's all my personal best though. It is not big. There's not a lot of extravagant stuff that goes on. It's got two pools, the ocean you can't even swim in. It's really close to the marina. Same people work there. I mean, I've been there for six years now. Wow. Same people work there. So I've developed some really cool relationships. We actually ended up going off the resort with a friend and I was terrified, right? Because you have all these ideas in your head about Mexico. getting off the beaten path, like, man, there's not very good cell phone service. Everybody drives wildly. And you just don't ever know, right? And we literally had the best day that I've ever had, probably the best day of the year for me. We went to a cool beach and had a cool, you know, they cooked some dinner, they cooked some food for us, they cooked their own version of ceviche. It was amazing. We had beers on the beach and the beach was mellow. It was cool. We listened to music. We jammed and we were like, this is amazing. We went to their house and they cooked us food there, but they live in a very small cement floor house and they are the happiest people. One of them speaks a little bit of English. The family, the wife and the kids know English, and we were able to have a good time. We played soccer. I didn't grow up speaking Spanish, but when I get there, I can eventually immerse myself where I can understand a lot. I just can't talk as fast as they can. But me and my buddy's wife were having a conversation more her and she was, I mean, like just throwing out the Spanish and I was like, I can get, I can get, uh, most to understand what she was telling me. But, uh, we had like such a good time and I would encourage everybody, like, I know that Mexico gets a bad rap sometimes, right? Like there are some scary places in Mexico and I've had some scary, you know, people tell me about some scary things that have happened and I know it happens, right? But I don't trust the news enough to go, it's all bad. Right. It's not. Right. You know, and the people are great. They are genuine in there and you know, they want, um, They want, they want you to have a good time. They want to see people go down there and have a good time in Mexico because it's not, it's, I mean, we found out the day of that they were going to up the daily rate. So you get paid by a day to $14 a day. What? That we're going to, they were going to up the rate. That's what you were going to get next year was $14 a day. That's the, what do we call that? Um, minimum wage, minimum wage, $14 a day, a day. And those guys are down there working and I'm Hispanic, I wasn't born in Mexico, so I don't consider myself Mexican, but my lineage comes from Mexico, right? So when people talk about close the borders, close the borders, close the borders, I'm like, no, let's make the borders where it's not so everybody can just come in, but let's make it so that if they wanna come in and they wanna work, let's make it like good for them that way. So I struggle with that kind of a thing when I hear people like, close the borders and close the borders and do this. And I'm like, man, I know a lot of Mexicans in here that are not here legally that would pay way more taxes than you. And they work way harder than you. And they are way better people than you. And they are genuine and I love them. And so I'm super happy to be of Mexican descent. And it really opened my eyes about how cool Mexico is.

Tyler: I mean, I love, I love Mexico and I joke and I'll probably get in trouble for telling this, this joke, but like, I'm, I'm of a similar, like I'm of a similar feeling. Like I feel like, you know, what are borders really some imaginary lines we've, we've, we've divvied up, like, but at the end of the day, like, what is the difference between Pfizer and the cartel? Yeah. One of them spent their marketing budget on guns and the other, you know, spent it on corporate lobby, corporate lobbying. Like there's, there's not that much difference. Right. Like we've decided, and we, it's just the labels we've put on things. Right.

Danny: agreed right with the collective the collective has labeled one bad and one good agreed right yeah and you can justify whatever you want to justify that with certain things right like you'll say oh it's okay if they do this but it's worse if you do this right but in all reality it's all bad right um yeah and and and like i said i'm it was Hands down, hands down greatest day I've ever had in Mexico. And this year, you know, I've had a lot of cool experiences. I've had some really fun with my kids. But Misty and I both were like, man, that was cool. It was it was so cool. And we loved it. We enjoyed. We enjoy getting Misty to talk Spanish because she, she loves talking. She loves to like learn new things and she'll, she'll ask a lot of questions. Hey, how do you say this? How do you say this? And then she'll practice it all day long. And then the next day she'll say it, you know, and they love it. Right. Because, you know, here's this white girl that is just the person herself in the environment and they love it. Right. You know, it also helps that she's good looking and she's, you know.

Tyler: But she's happy and genuine and like, yeah. No, I mean, it's, it's relating, relating to people, right. Relating to people. I, that's what I've always found too, right. They are some of the happiest people I've ever been around. And when you relate on their level and you make an attempt to connect, you build a true human connection. And that's, it's a beautiful thing when we can. We can look at each other and say, hey, we may not have a lot of the same cruise, but at the end of the day, we can share a connection on a human level.

Danny: Yeah. Yeah. So if you want to know more about the Solmar Resort, hit me up. I'll let you know all about it. And if you want to know more about Mexico, man, I got some cool things. And I know some cool people that have been there. you know, our friend Ray drives down and he drives all the way, drives, drives all the way down. And it's like, man, like again, again, genuine, genuine people and genuinely, genuinely appreciative of, of my heritage and the fact that like I am of Mexican descent. And, uh, I love the fact that I go to Cabo cause it's just Southern, Southern California and a bunch of Americans down there, you know, driving a hundred miles an hour. Some of the best cuisine. Yeah, it was cool. Um, yeah, my friend was from, uh, He grew up on a ranch in Jalisco and Jalisco is kind of like, uh, known for the tequila.

Tyler: So he had some tequila from his city and man, is it like, sorry, I don't mean to say, is it like, is like Germany or like England where like each little city has their own, their own, their own ale.

Danny: And tequila is like one of those things where like people like, I think we've talked about this before, that like they put a lot of effort into it.

Tyler: It's very craft, right? From what I've studied.

Danny: Good tequila, it doesn't taste like bottom of the barrel Jose Cuervo. It actually tastes really smooth, which can get you a lot of trouble, right? Yeah, yeah. My brother-in-law, he likes the tequila and I like to make sure he drinks a lot of tequila. I don't drink a lot and I just barely started in the last little while being able to drink tequila. And only one day did we drink a little too much tequila, and so the next day we had to take the time off, you know, chill out on that. Because if not, my wife and my sister would have probably tuned us up a little bit, you know, because we get a little lippy. But yeah, so I wanted to share that story, man. I'm appreciative of this platform to give me to be able to talk about that kind of a thing, because it's important to me to remind people that, like, man, like, there's hard workers out there. Doesn't matter the skin color of you. Doesn't matter the skin color of me. We can always find common ground. In every culture and in every kind of society, there's bad sides of it. There's bad sides of that. It was, it was a good experience, but you know, we come home to our house and it's huge. Right. We're setting up our Christmas and it always makes me like to remind myself, like to be grateful for what I have and when I was born and how things go for me, you know, I have such good friends around me and yeah. You know, we've talked about if this was going to be our last episode of the year, but maybe we'll have one more where we can really talk about what we're grateful for and what our goals are for next year and see how things go, man.

Tyler: I was really hoping we would debate, like, should you heal Hook and… We're going to talk about that. Yeah, let's wrap it here for the night. And man, I'm grateful for you, grateful for another good episode. Yeah, fun. Yeah, everybody's people. We all breathe. It's good, man.

Danny: We all breathe. Yeah, let's do that. Let's all just breathe. Let's hang out together. Yeah. Yeah, let's find some common unity. Common unity. Right, some common ground. Amen. Let's see here, what's got, anything coming up this week?

Tyler: Man, just training. The slopes are open. We're going to do some, I think I'm going to ditch Friday. Snowboards down there. Yeah, yeah. I think we're going to ditch school Friday and head up and do a couple of runs. Cool. Yeah. Cozy's got some play tryouts, so I've got to figure out what to do with that Saturday because I want to train. Yeah. Down in Lehigh, but yeah, training. Catch me on the mat Monday. I'm typically Monday, Wednesday, um, Saturday. Sure. Um, yeah, that's, that's all I got going on catches. Look me up on lost boy scouts. Um, kind of just wrapping up the year at this point. Sure. I've got a couple, a couple of wild projects I'm working on. Yeah. As always some mad scientist stuff that I want to get done. Good for you. Yeah.

Danny: Yeah, cool. Yeah. What about you? Yeah, same. Um, just got, uh, finish up my website. I was on vacation for a couple of days. And so I got to finish up my website stuff, launch that. And then, um, I've got, uh, uh, signed up for January 6th for the competition. So are you competing January 6th? Yeah. For right now. Um, see how it goes, man. Sometimes like going up in weight is just kind of hard on my body. Yeah. Yeah. And so, um, we got big wheel competing. So I'm kind of excited about that. Really? Yeah. They will signed up. Okay. I'm excited for that. I'm going to go cheer. I'm not competing. Yeah. And that's about it. I'm coaching, coaching, wrestling and coaching, uh, winter wrestling meets today. So that kind of gets my blood back into talking to those kids and being around that environment. So hang out with them. And then that's it. I think Braxton's coming home. He's driving home for Christmas. All right. We're going to meet his girlfriend and her kid. So it's kind of like one of those things where it's kind of like, whoa. Yeah. Heck yeah, man. Like good for him. You know? Yeah. I think he heard that he might be able to get out in a year. So kind of stoked about that. We are not going to Zach Brian now. So if you know anybody looking for tickets in San Diego, The last week of December right before he's here.

Tyler: He's here Saturday. What? He's just what is it? Thursday, Friday or Saturday? He's here. He's in Salt Lake this week. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's in Salt Lake this year. Pretty sure. Maybe it's. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Oh, I don't know.

Danny: Interesting. Yeah. So, uh, That's kind of a bummer, but, um, that's cool. He's going to be home. So Misty says, yeah, we're going to stay home. And I kind of got bummed out a little bit about it, but it's cool. I'll get to hang out with my kid.

Tyler: Yeah. Make some money on those tickets.

Danny: Yeah, for sure. And so, um, that's about it. Yeah.

Tyler: I'm good to go. All right, everybody. Thanks for tuning in. We'll, uh, catch you next in a couple of weeks. Um, catch us on the socials, lostboyscouts.com, lostboyscouts on Instagram, Tik Tok, all that fun stuff. And, uh, yep.

Danny: I haven't been doing Compassionate Gentleman so much. I've been just doing D-Ray, Dotto, Kanye, just because it's hard to do both. And I was like, man, I am a Compassionate Gentleman, but I don't spend that much time on social media to do both places. I'm kind of sick of it. But you can find me at Park City Jiu-Jitsu. There you go. Most days, ask around and you can find me. All right. Cheers. Cheers, everybody.

Tyler: See you guys.