Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Reinvention
Tyler Clark [00:00:06] All right. Welcome to the Last Boy Scouts podcast. I'm Tyler.
Danny Ocaña [00:00:10] And I'm Danny Ocaña.
Tyler Clark [00:00:11] We're super excited to be joining you on a new platform. We're going to start filming it based on feedback we got in.
Danny Ocaña [00:00:17] Episode to.
Tyler Clark [00:00:18] Episode two. Yeah.
Danny Ocaña [00:00:19] So you'll be able to see us on YouTube, see what we look like and see us in our own space.
Tyler Clark [00:00:24] Watch me in my glory. Yeah.
Danny Ocaña [00:00:27] For sure, man. Go ahead.
Tyler Clark [00:00:29] Well, as I say, overall, take what do we. What do we feel? How do we feel?
Danny Ocaña [00:00:33] Good. Great responses. We just looked at we had almost 200 and a little bit over 200 downloads. Yeah. Great.
Tyler Clark [00:00:40] Yeah. I mean, great feedback. We got a lot of messages from from people, man. But at the same time, like, we're white Delta, this, you and I, we, we jive on the white. The jujitsu system, right? We did.
Danny Ocaña [00:00:53] Systems. Yeah. Yeah. And we want to think like of ourselves of just learning and always willing to learn and get better at what we're doing. Yeah.
Tyler Clark [00:01:03] Yeah, yeah And that that's exactly it. Like we, you know, we're just wait that's survival and show up. Continue to keep.
Danny Ocaña [00:01:10] Going. Hope to get asked to train and you know sit there and be like I don't exactly know what I'm doing, but if you ask me, then maybe we'll come out there and we'll flow roll. We'll just. We'll just get going.
Tyler Clark [00:01:22] I promise I won't spaz out on you.
Danny Ocaña [00:01:24] Yeah, for sure.
Tyler Clark [00:01:25] That's when I promise I can keep now.
Danny Ocaña [00:01:27] Lost was lost. This starts us on our journey. Yeah. Of talking about some situations and some ideas of where we are as men and what we need to improve on. And then we're going to continue to dive down other ideas and we're going to we're going to have some funny stuff. We're going to talk to other people. We might have some other guests. And the idea is, is we're not going to tell you what to do. We're just going to tell you what we do.
Tyler Clark [00:01:55] Right. And that's the thing. Like your vibe attracts your tribe, right? There's a lot of voices out there. And, you know, we we add our our voice to that voice and in hopes that we connect with with people that see and understand the way we see things. Sure. And, you know, maybe we're for you. Maybe we're not for you. Like, that's okay. Yeah. At the end of the day. At the end of the end of the day, like as long as you're doing the work to better yourself, right? I mean, that's all that really matters, right? Right. You find a voice and there's a lot of voices out there.
Danny Ocaña [00:02:24] Yeah. Some of the things that we took away from some some of our friends that came to us, they were they told us they completely understood where we were coming from. They could see themselves in us and we are just doing the work. We really are just doing the work.
Tyler Clark [00:02:40] Keeping it.
Danny Ocaña [00:02:40] Real, keeping them.
Tyler Clark [00:02:42] Yeah, yeah. And so we ended the last the last episode, we introduced this quote from from David Dear without a conscience, life's purpose man is totally lost, drifting, adapting to events rather than creating. Right. We are. You know, as we expand the context of our conversation, we need to expand the context of this quote. I think all too often we as men get stuck in this magical thinking. Sure, right. Like we get stuck in that we only have one purpose. Sure. And we talked about it a second ago, that our life is not written in Sharpie marker, It's not written on stone. You don't have to have a stone tablet.
Danny Ocaña [00:03:13] It doesn't.
Tyler Clark [00:03:14] It's probably okay that our life is written.
Danny Ocaña [00:03:17] In and dry erase.
Tyler Clark [00:03:18] Drive, race bandage.
Danny Ocaña [00:03:20] Wipe if you want to wipe it away, and maybe it's not as clean as you thought. Maybe you look back at it and you're like, Yeah, all right. I like certain aspects of what I just what I just did. But now I'm going to look at adding, improving, recreating and humans in in just, just in general. Just in general humans. What they'll do is they'll down married to their to their ideas and you avoid changing things because you get so like, oh, this is who I am. And we talked about like our pseudo selves and our, and our and our few selves and we're like, This is who I am. But we're portraying certain characters. We're in different chapter chapters of my life, right? And so all we're saying is, is when you're lost, it's cool. Like you're going to have those moments of being lost. Me, myself, for sure. I've had moments where I'm like, This is not who I want to be. This is not who I want to be. But but I, I stay in that lane. I'm like, okay, I'm going to I'm going to stick this out. And then I have to look inside and decide, is that who I want to portray to the outside world? And then that's where we come up with reinvention. That is how we decided that reinvention. It's not like we're going to like give you all these great ideas of how to fix every chapter of your life. We're just going to say this is the next step. When you're lost, what happens?
Tyler Clark [00:04:49] Yeah, And more importantly, we're going to say that like we've had to hold space for each other to grow. Sure. And we're going to hold space for for our listeners to grow. And it's okay to to grow. It's okay to shed those layers. You can be like Shrek, right? Like an ogre has layers. We're like onions, right? Yeah. You know, there's nothing that says you have to be a certain way.
Danny Ocaña [00:05:10] It's true.
Tyler Clark [00:05:11] That's true. And generally, that's. That's outside, you know, outside stimuli, telling us that we have to be.
Danny Ocaña [00:05:17] For sure. And so every podcast we'd like to start with a story. And what our idea is, is. When Tyler and I are talking or we're sharing space and we're deciding how we're going to approach the next episode, we usually dive deep down. And this this one is coming from the book and it's it's from another book. It's called The The Life of Crazy Horse.
Tyler Clark [00:05:46] Yeah.
Danny Ocaña [00:05:47] And if you haven't read the book and know who the character is, Crazy Horse is a Sioux warrior. That Lakota. Lakota is.
Tyler Clark [00:05:56] Lakota.
Danny Ocaña [00:05:56] He's in the corner. Where? Thank you. Yeah, he's a and he has all these. What? Well, we put our own spin on his story. Yeah, And this story comes from a man who's narrating the book on Audible. That's where I listen to it once. And his family actually knew. Crazy Horse.
Tyler Clark [00:06:17] Yeah. He is a Lakota himself, although he has a very Christian name. We'll get into that. If you watch the YouTube, maybe you'll get some insights into into why that happened. But yeah, the the author and narrator of the book is is very directly related to the Lakota people. Yeah. He even talks about parallels between himself and Crazy and Crazy Horse growing up, growing up in this kind of indigenous indigenous culture.
Danny Ocaña [00:06:48] Yeah. And so Crazy Horse, the story that we're going to tell you is is going to be a little bit more a marsh portion of things. But what happens is this crazy horse, his name is not Crazy Horse when he's when he's born and when he comes into the tribe, his name is light hair and that's the name they give him. Like the light hair one. The light one. Right. Because he has light here. He is light skinned and he has some European characteristics that none of the other tribe have. Yeah, right. His hair is curly and wavy and it's light and and he gets a lot of teasing about that. And he and he doesn't know how to process that, but he knows that that as long as he continues down his path as a warrior, he always wants to set himself apart. He's the best shooting the grasshoppers and that funny, that story, that whole thing of the both the.
Tyler Clark [00:07:35] Progression of the progression and the bows and like it's it's really interesting. When discussing traditional rites of passage rights, the book illustrates how these things should happen. There was a lot in this culture that was lost to us.
Danny Ocaña [00:07:55] The narrator does a great job describing this. So you can actually kind of be there with him. Right. And so as he's going on and he's learning how to become a warrior, he also has to do certain steps that require him to show that he can be a warrior. And each of those is he has to attach himself to a man. Mm hmm. Maybe not his father, but somebody that his father trusts to teach him how to shoot a bow, how to ride a horse, how to do these things. And he always goes back to his dad to give him more insight. Whenever he's struggling, whenever he's like, I'm lost. I'm not exactly sure what to do. I'm going to go. Luckily for him, he can go to his dad.
Tyler Clark [00:08:41] Well, it really is the people he surrounds himself because he has he has the mentor. Yeah. That that that pulls him and takes him with him. Takes him from his family and mentors.
Danny Ocaña [00:08:51] Mentors in there.
Tyler Clark [00:08:52] For. For a significant period of his life. Yeah. Including taking him on raids, raids and teaching him certain aspects of how to be a man. This is somebody that's not his father, right? Somebody that's not even part of his tribe. Right. That.
Danny Ocaña [00:09:06] That teach him those skills.
Tyler Clark [00:09:08] That teaches them those skills.
Danny Ocaña [00:09:09] Right. When his dad, like, trusts him and his dad gives him the ability to do those things, right. Yeah. And so as Crazy Horse is coming up and he's coming into his own. His first raid that he goes on, he's. It comes from another person telling the story because Crazy Horse doesn't actually tell the story to his dad. It's the people that tell the story around the campfire sessions, which is kind of cool because the campfire site. It's a forest, right? Yeah, it's just a fireside. And so they're telling the story of how crazy Hawk is knocked off of his horse. And this person sees a horse running past Crazy Horse and he reaches out, grabs the man, gets back on the horse, goes back to the fight, and he's going at the people, circling them, trying to draw all of this attention towards himself. And that's the story that you think, Well, it's because of that, right? Yeah. But then as he goes on, what happens is, is the crazy horse his father.
Tyler Clark [00:10:13] He's he's. He's a medicine.
Danny Ocaña [00:10:15] Man. He's a medicine man. He's a shaman.
Tyler Clark [00:10:17] He's a shaman, Right. Like, in every traditional sense of. Right. You know, those those white ladies in Beverly Hills, they're trying to find, like, he's he's. He's the real deal. Like, and it's interesting, man. There's like, this point in the story where the crazy horse or the white haired one is they're calling him like he he realizes his dad is different, Right? His dad is different. His dad isn't going on the war party thing, not doing the traditional man fight like the stuff that we would consider day to be masculine. But he's he's he's. He's a healer, right? He's a healer. He's different. He is different, but he's leaving the house and but he's somebody that that crazy horse can always kind of come back to.
Danny Ocaña [00:10:57] Yeah. And so what happens is, is that after the raid Crazy Horse, there's a couple of days that pass on and he comes out of the house and there's a ceremony for him, and his father is leading the ceremony. And he tells a couple stories. He tells a couple of things that he expects of the light haired one and of the light that this light child. Right. And he says, from now on, from this day forward, I'm going to give you my name. So what you don't what you do know is that crazy horse. His father's name is Crazy Horse. And he gives him the name Crazy Horse. And he says, from now on, this day is from this day forward, you're going to be known as Crazy Horse. And I will be known as Worm. The father of Crazy Horse. Yeah. And for Tyler and I, we both resonate in different avenues of our life or aspects of our life because we're both named after our father. Yeah. My name is Danny. My father's name is Danny. You know, And I've not always enjoyed that. I haven't. I've not always enjoyed that. I have not always enjoyed that. My name is Danny. They call my dad Big Danny. And I'm Danny Ray. Yeah, but that's how they always addressed us. And you think, Man, that resonated so much with me, right?
Tyler Clark [00:12:17] Right. Yeah. For me too. I mean, my. I'm named after my father. My first name is Douglas. My dad is Doug. And you know, it's interesting, too, because I can follow that and I can see that, like as a it's a source of pride, right, to have a son in your life. Right. Like, it's it's an interesting it's an interesting dichotomy right here. My my my grandfather is Rand Wright. His oldest son was Rand Wright, and his Rand's oldest son is Rand Wright. So there's three. Three, right? Yeah, that's right. Like and, you know, there's there's there's a source of pride. Right. And and I guess that's where we're getting is a like if you're going to have a source of pride and share your name with somebody like let's raise those people that show up in those people. It's interesting for those of us who who like Tim Kennedy, right. Know if you if you.
Danny Ocaña [00:13:04] Follow John Kennedy. But again.
Tyler Clark [00:13:05] What's interesting today is like it was just so much validation this week for what we're doing here at our podcast is he released his apogee at his Apogee Apogee dad's program. Right. Which he's run this apogee school, which is all about raising good boys. Right? He's he's doubled down. He's now raising this Apogee dads program. And that's where we're at, right? Right. Like that. That is that is a core purpose of what we're trying to create with with lost Boy Scouts in raising the next generation. Right. Raising ourselves. Raising the next.
Danny Ocaña [00:13:34] Generation. Yeah.
Tyler Clark [00:13:35] Elevating our level.
Danny Ocaña [00:13:36] Reinventing some of the things we've gone through and changed so that our children don't go through those same moments because we've had to reinvent ourselves. We're currently in a reinvention with ourselves, right? Absolutely.
Tyler Clark [00:13:51] Yeah. And I mean, and we absolutely we are. And the beautiful thing and will probably continue to reference the book The Journey of Crazy Horse by Joseph Marshall the Third. Yeah. Will continue to reference the first couple of times because there's a lot of things that we pull from it. But for a long time I have been fascinated with like building things. Sure. Just building, right? Yeah. And you know, early on in my tech career, I've actually kind of found this this thing called the school at Stanford. Right? Right. There's the School of Design. Right. And they teach this concept inside of design. It's an iterative and it's a nonlinear iterative process that people can use to to kind of challenge their assumptions and build solutions to their life. Right. And so the concept is, one, we empathize, right? We you know, if we're in the tech world, we get into the minds of our users, or if we're building a hard product, we get into the minds of our users, right? We define what is what is the definition of what we're trying to do, right? Then we create ideas on how we can solve the problem. Yeah. And then we prototype it and then we test, Right? Right. And so we do that non iteratively. We can build some really cool products.
Danny Ocaña [00:15:01] It's cool because I watch you do it, I watch you do it. And so and Tyler did was building a cold plunge and he was calling me and he was telling me about all these things he was doing. And each time he'd be like. Well, the this one thing didn't work, so I need to add this. And then finally I came over and he showed me his finished product. And it was a little different kind of along the way what he wanted to do. But that is how you address things.
Tyler Clark [00:15:27] Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. You can't get stuck in one way of thinking.
Danny Ocaña [00:15:31] No, you need to go back and you need to go back to the drawing board and be like, I'm going to erase this little portion of what I did and I'm going to add to it. Not that you're going to like, change everything. And we're not saying that with a reinvention. Sometimes you do need to change everything. Yeah, and sometimes it might be just wiping away a little bit and then adding something to what you're doing. Right.
Tyler Clark [00:15:53] And these guys, Bill Berner and Dave Evans, they're Stanford, they're Stanford dudes, Stanford and Electronic Arts, respectively. They they built this course because they were getting, you know, as I can only imagine, as a Stanford University. Yeah. Kids are probably always coming to you like, what do I do with my life? Right? And so these guys in their big brains, they kind of take this design thinking and they start applying it to life. And it has quickly become the most popular course at Stanford. And it's of course, on life design. Yeah, it's called the Life Design Lab. It teaches tools of design thinking in context of how do we design our life. And it's really based around this empathize, define, ideate, prototype. What is the difference between empathize and being vulnerable with yourself?
Danny Ocaña [00:16:41] Yeah. What is that? Right? Yeah. And a lot of times you're like, Well, I know how you feel. But I don't feel that way. Right. Right. And you're like, okay, well, okay, let's go a little bit further than that. Right. A lot of times when when we're helping men or we're coaching men, we're not like trying to give them the answers because they don't really you don't really want the answers. What you want is a couple avenues, a couple of things to draw upon and then feel what's going to be the path that you want to take. Right. Right. And we may guide you. We may direct you, but we may be like, we really want you to find the answer. Yeah. Right. You want to find the answer, like when you're building that cold plunge? Mm hmm. You feel more confident when you find the answer through trial and error?
Tyler Clark [00:17:28] Oh, yeah, absolutely. And it's not to say that I don't want your suggestion, and it's not to say that I'm willing. Did not willing. But when you talk in context of somebody's life. Right. Life, you start off. Yeah. When you start telling somebody how to live their life, you instantly you start triggering them at a core.
Danny Ocaña [00:17:44] Level of.
Tyler Clark [00:17:45] The brain.
Danny Ocaña [00:17:46] Yes, for sure.
Tyler Clark [00:17:46] Right. You're you are triggering probably some sort of past trauma, Correct. That they have have incurred through through childhood. Right.
Danny Ocaña [00:17:55] And we always fall back to our inner child. And everybody knows that you fall back to your inner child. How does your inner child react to things? And you can tell when somebody you've triggered them and they're like their response. Sometimes you're like, Oh, I caught them a little off guard. I caught them a little. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have done that. And what they're doing is, is they're just responding how they would have responded when they felt vulnerable, scared, alerted, and then now what do they what what do they trigger? Right. Their fight or flight?
Tyler Clark [00:18:28] You're you're sticking them right in the fight or flight. You are first. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, that's why, you know, you call it the inner child. Call it a shadow, call it, you know, whatever you want to call, you call it your demons, whatever. Right. You know, we're either we're either trying to address them or we're trying to to hide them. To hide them. So And when we hide them, we get lost. And when we address them, we constantly have to reinvent ourselves.
Danny Ocaña [00:18:53] We constantly and. And then we talk about what what what is your motivation to to change, to change yourself. So whenever I was in high school, I found I had to I had to change my entire friend group, my entire friend group. It was a very tough time in my life that I was just I was tired of doing or being somebody that I just didn't want to be anymore. I did. I did not want to get harassed by the police anymore. I was kind of tired of it. And when I did change my friend group, I was worried about what those other people would think about me. But I was also worried that somebody would think, Well, you're just pretending. You're just faking because I wasn't. I needed a change and I had to change. And now looking back on it, it it really did set me up for success in my life that I am now because I'm still friends with the guys that I was friends with after I changed. And I don't. I have no idea what I'll run into those guys every once in a while and our lives are completely different and mine for the better. But it was an it was not it was not fun. During the time of of realizing that I didn't want to be who I was anymore. It was scary. It was very scary. And I think that, like our friends and family can appreciate the fact that who I am now, you know, as opposed to who I was then and those that knew me then. Yeah, probably are like, I'm glad you did that, you know? And the people that know me now probably have no idea when.
Tyler Clark [00:20:26] And there is a there's a component to that where you, you, you run into the lost you get so lost that that you. You one day wake up and everything is shifted. Right? And it is a scary, vulnerable place to be in. Yeah, for sure. And you have two options, right? You have you really have to two roads, right? There's this Native American parable of the two wolves. You probably.
Danny Ocaña [00:20:49] Heard it.
Tyler Clark [00:20:51] You know, a child goes to his grandfather and says, you know, hey, what? You know. Tell me about life and explain life. And the grandfather says, Well, inside of you, there are two wolves, right? One is, one is good. The lovely, the the the the happiness. And the other is is anger and just deceit. And he goes, well, grandfather, which one wins? And the the grandfather says whichever one you feed.
Danny Ocaña [00:21:15] Whichever one you feed the.
Tyler Clark [00:21:16] Most. Yeah. Right.
Danny Ocaña [00:21:18] So everybody like it is such a true thing and, and I've used that analogy so many times with my own boys, especially when they're competing. Yeah. Because when they're competing, you have all these negative ideas and negative feelings inside and nerves. And Professor always says, Imagine if you were going to ride a roller coaster and you you're nervous. It's the same feeling that you get before you compete, you know? But if those nerves are great and you're not afraid of those nerves, but when we compete, we're kind of scared of those nerves. Yeah, we always have nerves. We're always nervous before we do something. And whichever, whichever, wolf, I feel more. I understand that I'm nervous. I understand that I'm cautious about re-inventing myself. I understand that I'm cautious about this competition, but I'm still going to feel it more as opposed to just now. I don't want to do it. I'm not going to do it. Then that's what it's going to. Whichever one's going to win.
Tyler Clark [00:22:12] Well, and, you know, we tend our brains tend to prioritize comfort. Right? Right. Once we've gotten out of that fight or flight situation, our brain is like, okay, so how do I self-soothe? Right? How do I and, you know, we have kids that suck their thumb or kids that carry around a blanket, right. That you know, or adults that that that, you know, they smoke or drink like that. It's all self-soothing. We we overeat. We abuse food. Right?
Danny Ocaña [00:22:37] Right. Yeah. And we and we're trying to find those own parts of ourselves, guide our own children. And with with this whole idea of lost and reinvention, we're just saying with your own self, find out what motivates you, what's going to hold you accountable, what is going to hold you accountable to continue down a path that you're not going to like? Set yourself in stone. You're not going to chisel yourself in stone. You're always going to be willing to grow and you're always going to be willing to expand and and and receive information that's going to help you grow, right?
Tyler Clark [00:23:20] Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes that's what our trauma does, like our trauma or our own cognitive way of rationalizing our life is that we get stuck on forcing these things that the we have no chance of succeeding. Right. Right. And it what's interesting is like, I'm going to bring back Jocko episodes. He he talks about how he doesn't have the body type to be you know an Olympic weightlifter. Right. So he's he knows that that's not something he he still lifts weights. Right. Right. But he's not going to be an Olympic weight. An Olympic weightlifter. Right. And so, you know, don't get too stuck on on something. You have effectively no chance at succeeding.
Danny Ocaña [00:24:03] Correct.
Tyler Clark [00:24:04] Right. Like, I'm not going to be a sprinter. I'm not going to be probably not going to be a marathoner. Yeah. So but so be gentle with your brain.
Danny Ocaña [00:24:11] Gentle.
Tyler Clark [00:24:11] Be gentle with your brain and say, you know what? Hey, this isn't my calling. All right? Let's hydrate. Let's empathize. Let's apply this design process to what we're doing in life.
Danny Ocaña [00:24:24] Yeah. You don't have to be a marathon runner at the top of the path to be still able to go. You know what? I want to do a marathon and challenge myself over there. And like we talked about earlier, we sometimes get married to our own thoughts and are so afraid. We're so scared to change those thoughts. We're still afraid of what that will look like, that we're like, Well, I'm just going to continue down this patly. I'll break through this wall, and all you're doing is running into this wall, bro.
Tyler Clark [00:24:54] That's the freeze response, right? You're frozen and frozen. You're frozen in the decision you've already made and causing yourself more damage.
Danny Ocaña [00:25:01] And think about everything in your own life as we do with ourselves. Think about the time you didn't go out and try and how often you look back and go; Man, if I had just tried that one time, maybe my life would have been different. Maybe your life would have been entirely different. But that's the butterfly effect. So now we're only talking about just changing tomorrow, yeah, not changing. What could have happened yesterday? Just changing tomorrow? I always joke and tease Tyler because how many times did you? You came to the Jiu Jitsu Academy three times.
Tyler Clark [00:25:37] Three times, three times. And I knew jiu-jitsu was something I wanted to do for a while. Right, Right. I didn't have the self-love to say like like this. I need to do this for myself.
Danny Ocaña [00:25:47] Yeah, for sure. Right. You were anxious about it and wanted to see what it was about.
Tyler Clark [00:25:51] Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've been. I've listened to Jocko forever. Jocko was one of the first areas where my brain lit up and was something I needed. I need to change my identity and lead my life right. I read his book, Extreme Ownership. Yeah. And it put me on this path, right? And the next step, it finally reached a point where I've read about it. I need to execute. Sure. And the next step was, Okay, well, how do I implement jujitsu. Is that logical? Right? Right. So, yeah, three times into the gym, three times.
Danny Ocaña [00:26:21] And you walk into our academy and. And our academy is for those of you who are just listening, But most of you who have heard is Park City Jujitsu. Yeah. And you walk into our academy, and it's not like you see the mats immediately. You walk into our academy, and we have a front room, and then you have to go to the back room, and there are the mats. And so that's intimidating in itself, right?
Tyler Clark [00:26:43] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I expect, you know, to have a front desk person, like your typical gym experience. But, you know, the professor runs it in a way that, like, it's.
Danny Ocaña [00:26:53] It's badass. It is badass. Yes. And when you get on the mats and finally on the mat, do you understand? Yeah. The draw.
Tyler Clark [00:27:01] I am so proud to be a member of. Yeah.
Danny Ocaña [00:27:04] So I and we approach it every day where you get on the medicine, and since we're talking about reinvention, every day you walk on the mat, you're reinventing yourself with your friends. And those friends accept you for who you are. And sometimes you're training is good. Yeah. Sometimes you walk off the mat, like, I don't know a single thing about jiu jitsu, but what draws you back is that there is no actual end to the journey. There is no true end to the trip. You'll never be like, Oh, no, black, but I know everything. No, you're going to be like, As long as I approach every day as a white male, whether you're podcasting, whether you're, whether you're a husband, whether you're a father, whether you're a son, whether you are in your jiu jitsu journey, you're going to learn something new every day. As long as you know, every day, every day. I have.
Tyler Clark [00:27:58] Every day. And it's so fantastic, right? Like you, this is something that I have been trying to learn for a very long time. Right. You know, I recently started I started doing ketamine as a form of reconnecting; with they say that doing ketamine kind of takes these neural pathways, and we'll talk about the brain in the future here. These neural pathways are like grooves. And if you're a skier, think about the tracks that get laid wind when somebody skis, Right? Right. The mountain gets all cut up. But when the new snow falls, it's all kind of fresh.
Yeah, right. And that's the idea of what ketamine does for your mind as I've gone through these seven treatments. This is enjoying the ride as I have been enjoying it in prompting right like I've been. I was so caught up in the end goal. Right? The end goal has to look like this—the end goal. When I was a little kid, I used to get mad that my taco would break. Yeah, it wasn't perfect. I didn't know it would snap down the middle, and I would fall apart. Yeah. And, you know, I just had the most challenging time grasping this concept. It's about the ride.
Danny Ocaña [00:29:08] It is about the ride. And that all we want is for our friends, family, and listeners to understand that we're on the ride ourselves. We're not like, and we're not like, we're like, Oh, we know everything. We learned everything. We're okay with calling each other out. We're OK with suffering with each other as we do in the sauna. And we jump in the snow, the cold plunge as we do on a day that you're not into training, you're not into going to work. You're not into being a dad. You're not even being a father. But you're like, well, today, I still have to do it. It may not be the best of my ability, but I still have to do it.
Tyler Clark [00:29:47] Yeah, no, you're right. Like, and we lift each other, we do it right. And we had this great quote when I was on my mission. It was about geese, right? Right. Like when the geese take turns at the front. And when one goose gets wounded, it stays on the ground. Another goose will stay with it. Right. Right. And we had this quote. I left them, and they left me, and we ascended together. That's awesome, right? I love it. And we need to stand together as men. Yeah, like we have. We put so much emphasis on challenging each other. Right. Right. Because we have so much ego around who, you know, who's the top dog, right? Who's the top dog? And that's what I love. You know, bringing this back to the book in the last few minutes of this session here, the shirt where the story of the shirt was a.
Danny Ocaña [00:30:31] Beautiful, beautiful story.
Tyler Clark [00:30:33] It's so beautiful because we've. Lost this concept, as you know, and for what I am, for what I thought, what I learned from the book, like, you know, Crazy Horse was the last shirt where this we will ever see. Yeah. And the concept of the shirt where in the Lakota people were these are the young men, right? And their purpose was to take care of the weak, take care of the injured, and take care of the elderly. They've proven them; they've proven themselves right.
Danny Ocaña [00:31:01] They shared. They shared all of their possessions. They shared. Yeah, they shared them all, right?
Tyler Clark [00:31:07] They would go if they were hunting, and they would share it with those groups of people even before they took care of their own family.
Danny Ocaña [00:31:15] And when decisions needed to be made, they looked to the shirt wearers' actions, not what the shirt wear said, but they look to their efforts and then the shirt wearers, if they needed to make a decision. It wasn't what was best for the shirt wear; it was what was best for the people and the community. Right? And so when you're looking at yourself, and ahead of your household, whether you're a man or a woman, and you're one of your homes, you're not looking at what's best for you now. Yeah, you're looking at what's best for what will work best for you, maybe five, ten, or 15 years down the line. So when we look at reinvention, we're not looking at what's best for us. What's best for me in ten years may not be what's best for me. And when we talk to our children, right? I know I do this, and I know you do the same. I always say, okay, what is five years, Braxton or Tristan, Right? What does five-year-old Braxton's interest want to look like? Ten years, Right? What do they want to look like? And then you can give them the avenue and the ability to decide. It may not be the right one. You may disagree, but it's okay because they're still just going through their motions. Right? Right.
Tyler Clark [00:32:28] Absolutely. And it's that beautiful concept of 88. Right. Have it written down. Yeah. Have an idea. Yeah. It doesn't have to be. And we call them goals. Sometimes we get so rigid about our goals. Right. Goals are like they're Yeah. Right. Having a long-term goal is just having an idea. Just have an idea. Yeah, right. And you can build up to it. You can progressively elaborate. Yeah, right.
Danny Ocaña [00:32:53] Hold space for people. Yeah. Give it to them. You never give a person what you think is best for them. No, just give them some. Like what? You look at what you think about, and then they can formulate their plans. That works best for them. And when you do that for somebody, you can just give them their ideas and their own blank canvas to start writing right there what they look like.
Tyler Clark [00:33:25] Like reflective, quiet.
Danny Ocaña [00:33:26] Reflective questioning.
Tyler Clark [00:33:27] That's what I do in my coaching. I know. Yeah, right. We don't tell people what to do because telling them we will do as we said gets encoded in that fight or flight. Right. But when we can reflect, and we can show, and you know, you call it reflective questioning it, you can call it the indirect method of Yeah, yeah, the indirect, you know, it's helping the person see the pattern. Right. Right. And that's what we should do for each other, right? We should do for each other as men. Right. That we, you know, sometimes it's you need to be fast, sometimes you need to be harassed. Right. Like, right? Some hazing should be expected. Sure. As long as it's not hurtful. It's helpful and not malicious, right? Yeah, right. Hazing sometimes has a bad stigma, but you get hazed in the jujitsu gym. Always, right? Yeah, but it's because these people want the best for you. And. And if it's not, if you're in a gym where it's not, that's not the atmosphere. You might be in the wrong gym.
Danny Ocaña [00:34:23] Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You know. Yeah. You want people around who will challenge you, question you, and guide you in the right direction. Right. And that's all that's what Tyler and I are ideas are: we're not here to give anything else except our version of things. And like we say from the beginning, as we have, it's not like we know everything or that we're saying that we know everything. But what we're saying is, you're okay. Yeah, you're okay, right? Just do the work.
Tyler Clark [00:34:53] Each day is a chapter of our lives, and we can reinvent ourselves each day. Yeah. And we can. We reinvent ourselves as often as every morning. Agreed. If the sun is coming up and you've got air in your lungs, you have more energy to fight. You know, be gentle with yourself, you know.
Danny Ocaña [00:35:12] For sure. Ask questions, ask, man. If you're a jujitsu person, you understand; asking questions puts the class way funnier as opposed to everybody just looking at each other, looking like, okay, you go.
Tyler Clark [00:35:26] You too.
Danny Ocaña [00:35:28] Ask questions, ask questions, and be willing to accept the feedback and the information you will get right. And so, with that being said, you know, reinvent yourself. We're okay with ourselves, but we're always going to reinvent ourselves, and we're always going to look to be a different version of ourselves, whether it's tomorrow, five or ten years from now. And that's kind of what we're doing with the podcast. We're just kind of reinventing ourselves. Yeah, and we're willing to be white belts. We're eager to make mistakes, make you laugh, and not agree with us.
Tyler Clark [00:36:03] Right. Like all those mistakes we make in life, they're prototypes, right? Yeah. And we can test those prototypes. And if those prototypes fail, throw that shit out and stuff. Oh, yeah. It's okay, man. This has been a lot of fun. It has. It's always fun to be in the room with you and just chat and talk. But let's go ahead and cap this episode on reinvention there. Yeah.
Danny Ocaña [00:36:26] Just like that.
Tyler Clark [00:36:26] Just like that.
Danny Ocaña [00:36:28] And so then, Tyler, where, where, where can we find you? Where do we look? Where are we looking to find Tyler Clark?
Tyler Clark [00:36:33] You can always find Tyler Clark at Park City. Jiu-Jitsu. Always Sunday. We're there for open, Matt. If you are out of state, contact the Lost Boy Scouts website. Lost Boy Scouts dot com. Lost Boy Scouts on Instagram, Twitter, or, you know, send up a smoke signal.
Danny Ocaña [00:36:52] Yeah. Cool. Yeah. And so, you can find me as a compassionate gentleman on Instagram and Facebook. Same as Tyler. I also open Matt on Sundays. Everybody's welcome to share some space and some Jiu-Jitsu knowledge in the next couple of weeks. We plan to in episode three, and we're going to talk about white built for life. Yeah. How we look at the White belt for Life and what that means to us. And then we'll start bringing in some guests that continue down this jujitsu idea and this life idea, how they're parallel with each other, and why they work.