Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Last Boy Scouts podcast Danny. How you doing? I'm well, how are you? Oh, it's

You got that rusty voice. You've got that raspy voice that that

that phoebe from friends smelly cat like ladies

ladies keep Be careful. This is not normal

tyler, but hopefully he's able to keep it in the right figure out how to keep

that in his life Just get tested a

Yeah. Got sick. Um, literally sent cozy to school one day

after Christmas winter break and she picked something

Yeah. And you, you ended up starting with the, the razors in

Yep. Razors in the throat. And it's like, it's been a, it's been a solid week.

Yeah. It's been a solid week. And I haven't talked to anybody recently that

Yeah. I remember. And so like we were just, um, people

in the Academy come in and it's at least a two and a half, almost three weeks

episode, right. Of like when you start to, when you kind of start to come out of the

funk. Right. And, uh, it's, it's, it's

crazy how much it throws you off of your game

and throws you out of the loop because you feel like crap at life. Doesn't stop.

No. Right. And you know that each kid

I feel, I feel the worst for Ben right now. He is the last one

to get it. Oh man. And I mean, I'm in a way, I think he's feeling like,

yes, I didn't get last, last week of school off, but I got this week off and

he just got his Christmas present delivered. So I'm not, I'm sure

he like, uh, he's enjoying it. Okay. Did a little bit. No, I,

he wouldn't do that, but he's, he's definitely, he's got it. And I feel bad for him because it's,

it's miserable. Like I spent two days in bed just didn't

Yeah. I think probably everybody in our audience right now is going

through that. And, and it's funny because, you know, we had all this, like,

um, you know, when COVID came around and you, you got sick and

all of a sudden now you're in, you end up getting sick

and you're like, Okay, of course, we're going to get sick. Of

course, of course, you're going to get sick, right? Of course, things are going to pass. And

that's part of our body becoming where we can fight off those viruses.

Maybe the fact that we're two and a half, three weeks is because we were all

wearing masks and like not letting our bodies, um,

Yeah. Get, get acclimated to that kind of stuff too. Yeah, for sure.

Um, there's no freaking snow. I know I haven't kept up with it

cause I've been sick. So like, I've just been watching it come down and just thinking I'm

Yeah. Just a couple of weeks ago I was like telling everybody at work, I was like, oh

yeah, I can see my grass and it sucks. Cause my dogs are going out

and they're doing their business and I'm going to, it's going to be covered. And next

thing I know, two feet of snow in my yard and four foot snow

It seems like dude I tried to keep on top of it Today,

I tried to do a little bit extra when I was digging and I'm just like there's

no end in sight I've got a drift over here where everything falls off the

roof Yeah in front of the end of the driveway and I'm like I'm just not getting into

the garage until spring till whenever it decides to melt Yeah, cuz you

Yeah by the studio where where the snow falls

off the roof and yeah, there's a big pipe This is a huge pile. It's

insane how much we got. And so, you know, we, uh,

I drive down into the Valley and drive parlays and last couple of days has

been like traction devices only, right. Which I don't have

for the car. So I'm stuck. I'm stuck up here, you know, not making

it to work because Misty needed the Jeep and Tristan has his truck. And

so. it's insane how much it throws, even

that kind of stuff, it just throws the loop into your whole routines and

everything that you have going on, right? And so, we

have the snow, we have the sickness, we have just

the starting of the year, which kind of feels like you've got

You want to carry that momentum into the year and throughout the year for sure.

I remember I hit the gym, I made it all of three times, before

this hit, you know, and now I'm like, you, in

a, in a way it's a little bit mentally draining

because you're like, I had such good momentum. I had such fire. And

now I'm like, I'm not, I'm hitting the snooze button. I'm trying

to rest up and I granted, I know my body needs the rest. Right.

I know I'll come out of this stronger. Sure. And I know I can pick up

and start fresh. Like I don't need, I

don't need that new year, right? Like I can do

this whenever I decide I want to do it. But, you know, you

just have such excitement around that time of year. It is. When you hit these obstacles,

And right at the beginning of the year, which kind of throws you into a funk because

I don't know about you, but I'm not a good sing person. No, I'm

not. You know, I don't want to be around people. I don't like, I don't

want you to talk to me. Yeah. I just want to like, I want to feel better. And

I'm thinking, when am I going to feel better? And every day is like not

feeling better. I wake up and I'm like, okay, today's the day today's they wake up and you're

Yeah. We saw him at last last week. And I was, I was okay.

I had a little bit of a sniffle. I remember that, that night. It

just, it walloped me, but then I didn't go out the rest of the week. I started

feeling like Jack Nicklaus

in The Shining. And then we get the snow, and then there's that scene in The Shining

where Jack's frozen. And I'm like, dude, I've just gone from here's

Yeah, it's such a crazy, it's

crazy how that happens to you, you know? So when

you're driving around here, you know, people are, there's a

lot of traffic in here. And I think eventually people settled into

driving in the snow. But every once in a while, you'll see something that

you're like, what are you doing? Oh, yeah. Why are you

driving like that? Like, you know, you shouldn't be driving like that today.

Professor said that on the way up here, a dump

truck was just inching over, inching

over and boom, hits his mirror. And he's like, it

knocked, kind of like knocked, jarred him a little bit, you know? And then you're like, those

guys, they drive a hundred miles an hour sometimes, you

know? And I'm like, man, I just want to stay away from him.

Yeah. Yeah. I started to go down. I dropped Cozy off at school this

morning and I was going to head down to Lehigh. And I'm like, I got, I got

to, what is it? 189. And

I just saw that it like, wasn't plowed. It was packed. And I'm just like, nope.

Turned the other direction, just came home and, you know, did

my, did what I needed to do from home and it was fine. You know, it

was fine. And I didn't need to add to the problem. Sure. Um,

but it is, it takes some adjustment. How do you adjust to those, those obstacles, those,

Yeah. And like, and then the things that change you, that change the,

you get into, you get into these habits and these formulations of

the routines that you're doing every day. Right. Yeah. And as soon as

he gets thrown into where you're not keeping up

with the routine, it feels like you're a little off, like your,

your body feels a little off your, your mind feels, feels a

little off. And And the routines can

be simple and they can be super complex, right? And

you just started a new job. So that adds to, you've

got to fit that into your schedule. And I don't

know, like, I mean... whether you have new

kids, new wife, new life, and it adds all these dynamics

to your already existing routine, there's

things that you can do and there's things that you should avoid to

add into your life, right? You're like, man, I can't deal with

this right now. I can't function with this. I can't

function with this right now. And I don't know, man, I, you know, my routines, I'm

Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I definitely thrive in routine a little bit.

Right. Like I can, I can adjust my roadmap when I need to, but

like, I definitely feel like I do better as a, as

a human being when I have a little bit of, of routine and when

Yeah. And in the winter time has here, especially in

Utah, wherever our listeners are happening, Your day

feels kind of like short. Yeah. Right. And so we

haven't gotten very much sun. So like, we're not able to go out there and

get our son on our face. So we get into that. We get into that hibernation that

we go into in January, February, March, you probably hit your

foot hibernation. Yeah. If you're not, I'm not a skier. I

I haven't had any snow to even do it. So it's like, the

first part of the season is like, it's come and gone. I'm like, this

is good now. Like now you can kind of get out. Yeah, go out there and

enjoy the snow. But everybody's been waiting for it, so it's, you know. Hacked.

Hacked. Got Sundance this coming up, so it's like.

So speaking of routines, tripping them, you

know, he leaves the house at a certain time to go to wrestling practice

to get to his wrestling kids. And I

heard some of their interactions because apparently

it took an hour and a half for people to get from

40 to the high school. because of the traffic, because of

the ski people, because of Sundance, which again, I mean,

you, you stick to your routine and, and it's hard to make adjustments sometimes

and you don't realize I probably should have left earlier or man,

what are we going to do in Sundance? Because I guess like, um, in

some, I guess for even those kids, um, Sundance uses

the high school. Yeah. And so there's no parking and there's no buses available.

There's no, there's all this stuff, this dynamic that they, that

And so like your routine just gets thrown off. And now, you

know, those kids are like, hey, I'm not going to be there for. another

30 minutes, I haven't even moved in traffic. And I was thinking, holy

crap. I know how that feels. I know what that feels like. It almost feels like

Start the day over tomorrow. Yeah. You know? Right. Yeah. And

Yeah. I mean, for me, it's, it's about waking up. I do a little bit of

journaling. I stretch, um, I'm trying to incorporate a

breath work routine. Um, Lately

it's been sleeping in. So hitting the

snooze button, but no, my, on my ideal routine day,

I wake up at six. Um, I generally will

stretch, do a little core workout, trying to work in some calisthenics. I

go right. Um, and then I'll meditate or breath work.

And then it's shower and get ready for the day. I

got to get the kids up generally by about 7 to get them out the door. And

then I'm out the door by 8 o'clock trying to hit the

road down to my corporate gig. um,

when I have to go down, like I'm, I'm wonderfully blessed with a

hybrid role. Although right now I'm kind of thriving on the routine

of like meeting new people and just kind of getting integrated

with the team, understanding the role, understanding the product and that being

on site for that was like super integral in

the onboarding process. So, um, that,

And then if you miss one of those steps, do you feel like you need

to go and re redo that step? Or do you feel

like you're able to move on from it and just and allow yourself

some allow yourself off the hook for that moment and be like, Okay,

Yeah, the biggest one is like, definitely the meditation or

breathwork, right? Like, I'm trying to move more towards breathwork

over meditation, because I feel like It's, it's, there's

more, it's more impactful in a shorter amount of time. Um,

and what I noticed with my commute, if I miss that and that's typically what's

gets cut, I have to go back. I have to go find that time because my

commute, um, not that I have road rage, but like.

It just happens, right? You get frustrated in your commute and you, you

don't want that following you the rest of the day. You don't want that to

be an obstacle that, um, and so you kind of swallow

that pride. You just get to work. And then generally what I'll do

is I'll find a room and I'll just do, do my

Yeah, that's it. That's how I am with my, my, my routine

stays the same no matter what, no matter what I

wake up. Um, lately I've kind of been a little bit

frustrated with myself cause I, I have, there's things

I have to do on my phone right away when I wake up, you know, and there's

things that I have to like answer and like, like make sure

I'm available on my phone when I wake up. One

is checking the, the commute, making sure

that like the drive is going to be okay for myself if I have to drive that morning.

So I wake up and I look at my phone right away and I'm, and I'm trying to figure out a way to get

away from that for that. But I wake up and then I, I splash water

on my face. I kind of put cold water on my face right away. I do my oils

and then I do breath work and I do not skip. At

this point, I don't skip breathwork. Because again,

it is balancing and it is centering. And

if I get on that drive to down parlays

with no balance and no centering, I'm

probably not gonna be a very happy person, right? And so

I've learned that over the last year and some change that I've been

doing my routine, you know? And yeah,

that to me is like, it's beneficial for how, things

go in your, in your, in your initial setup

and your initial time. And there should be things that

you, you can take out. And there's things like you said, they're just

no compromise. Right. Don't compromise it. Right. Not

that don't compromise certain things that you're like, Hey, I can do this tomorrow. There's

things that you need to do every day as a man. And as a person that

are going to set you up for success. Now you're going to fail. There's

going to be, you know, you're going to fail throughout the day.

And, and, and usually, you know, some of

my first, like I said, right now, I feel like getting on my phone first thing in the morning

is, I don't know if it's a failure yet. Yeah. I

don't know yet. I don't know. It's been happening in the last week that I noticed this

morning that I was like, Man, I don't really want to look at my phone first

I'm kind of with you. It is one of those things you gravitate to. And

it's very easy to be doing something purpose-driven, like checking for

your commute. And the next thing you know, you're on Instagram scrolling.

But it's so dark. I just find that the blue

light just destroys my eyes in the morning. And so I'm

with you. tried to not, like

other than turning off my, I've even tried to eliminate using my alarm on

my phone. Same. because I don't want to interact with it.

I think the next step for me is like move it to another table. So

And, uh, yeah, at night, I'm at night, I'm so good

about just turning my phone off at a certain time and then not, not getting my

iPhone. Right. But man, first thing in the morning, I'm just kidding, but I don't know yet. I don't

know. I don't know. Um, I was listening to that

book, um, and, and he was talking about, um, so 1 million

leads. I listened to that book. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That

book is that book is on repeat for me right now. And then

his, uh, delivery and his, his platform is

on repeat for me right now. He's a good dude, but he was

talking about the first couple of hours of your day should be your job,

your work schedule. Yes. So that's part of my, you know, we have, we

have things that we're working on that, like, I'm like, man, I need to get this done today.

I need to kind of get this done first thing in the morning because my day. Depends

Yeah. And so, uh, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I don't know.

I I'm, I'm hoping tomorrow, um, I'll

not look at my phone. I got to work in the morning first thing. And I'm like, I already know

I have to look at the commute and that kind of stuff. But yeah, next

thing, you know, I'm kind of checking it and I just, I'm just on habit,

press Instagram, press Facebook, go down a path. And do

you feel, I heard this interesting

thing the other day that said, maybe you

told me that after you do Instagram, there's almost this dopamine

Oh yeah, I don't know that I've had anything specific that

I said to that effect, but I definitely

feel a little bit of shame, a little bit of guilt, because

I know that there's something so much better I could be doing with my career.

I know it, there's no question. There's something

better I could be doing with my time rather than just mindlessly

Um, I typically will do a protein shake, protein shake in

the morning. My, one of my fitness goals for the year was to eat

my, my ideal weight in grams of protein. So

hitting that breakfast protein, whether it's egg whites or, or a

Do you, did you feel like when you were sick, you were able to hold yourself to

that, to that? Or do you feel like you kind of like, Weren't

Oh, man. I'm a huge fan of the uh, there's a cafe latte Um

protein shake that I get. Oh, yeah, uh, it's like 30 grams of protein a

little bit of caffeine Okay, and I I nailed it like it's easy because I

can you know, it's a couple of swigs. It's not too painful

on the on the throat. So I was pretty diligent, at

least with the protein shake in the morning. But yeah, I,

I, I don't always eat something solid. I

do need to supplement that with something solid generally a little bit later in the

day, but I will most likely wake up, get

one of those in me as I, as I do my, my pushups and my

Oh, cool. Yeah, so I drink a certain amount of ounces

of water, sodium, and

we take this immune booster. But I have this, I've been dealing with this stomach

thing that I've been trying to get under control. So I take these pills and

I have to take this GI cleanse and all this stuff, which to me

is like crazy because I'm like, Am I that old? Am

I really that old where I'm like struggling with my

diet and struggling with my stomach? And then I'm like, no, you're not old,

man. Go show yourself. You're not old. But I don't know. I don't know if that is

the truth. So I drink like

78 ounces of water right when I wake up to make sure that my body is

hydrated again. And then I do eat breakfast as

quick as I can to get it in my stomach because I'm not

a big, I don't have a big appetite. I've been trying to

be better about eating more. I was doing a bunch of fasting and

they told me that that might've even been knocking my

GI down, my, my biodome off track,

I was like intricate creatures like we are so like, We're

amazingly resilient, right? Like we can, our bodies can fight off these

crazy foreign bodies and we can regenerate all

of our cells, you know, in a matter of years, like we're new,

literally new people, all of our cells will have regenerated in something like

seven years, every seven years, you're like, you know, every cell in

your body is regenerated or something. I don't know how true that is or some

fact that I heard, but like such amazing, you

Yeah, do little things, we gotta make little tweaks. And you gotta, you have

to add those to your routine because then it becomes habit,

right? Yeah. And habit, when you do, when you form a habit, it's

really hard to ignore that habit. Right. And I'm sure that's probably, you

know, I feel bad for those people that are, their habit is negativity,

right? If your habit is to wake

up and hit the bottle or look

at porn or do something that causes you

to head down a negative path, that's the first thing you do in the morning. Your

day is set up for failure in my eyes, right?

But if that's your part of your life, I'm sure there's guys

I've been, since I've been sick, I've been like, I've kind of tapped all the things that I've

normally would watch. And so I'm like, shame, shamelessly, I picked up

Cobra Kai. Cause everybody's like, you look like the

guy from Cobra Kai. I'm like, okay, I better watch this show. And?

Um, I'm not proud to admit it. It's fairly cheesy.

I loved it. I loved it. But the way he would wake up

and like, he hits, like he hits the Coors in the morning. Like it's

generally something that's like half spilled out. I'm just like, Oh, it just makes

I'm sure there's been times when I've woke up

and I've drank a beer first thing in the morning, right? The

hair of the dog type thing. I know that there's times when I've done

some negative things as a routine, and all

my hope is that I don't make it habit. I've heard that drug,

like intravenous drug users, Part of their

fix is the routine, is the routine of fixing

it, of doing all that stuff. And that's what they're, a lot

Think about a lot of the smokers too. People that smoke, when

do they smoke? After a meal or like

it is a routine of smoking, right? You have to train yourself to

do that. Like, I remember the first time I tried a cigarette, I coughed so

bad, but I never did it again. And I'm like, you have to train your

body to overcome that. Why would I? You

know what I mean? And so then you tie it into, you

kind of, what is the new term that people are using? Habit stack? Habit stack,

yeah. You habit stack your nicotine addiction? Yeah. I

can see that with substance abuse. I think

And the same thing with good routines, good habits, good habits lead

to good, positive things in your life. But if you're not careful, even

good habits can become where you can't focus on

anything else. And now, what happens if your child

is sick and you need to take care of them first? Be like, hey, man, first thing

I gotta do is I gotta take care of myself first. And you're like, as

a dad, we're not given a booklet. And

there's times when we're expected to do things That we're just like,

that doesn't get, I want to go sauna. I want to go to jujitsu. I

got to do all these things that I want to do. And your significant

other is like, no, no, no, no, no. I need you here. I

need you to be a part of this life. You know, you're like, no, not

today. Right. And I think that's, That's where we

struggle. If we're not careful, routines can become negative,

right? But getting healthy routines, starting your

morning off correctly, finish, and then mid-morning, what's your mid-morning routine?

What's your afternoon routine? What is, how

do you, I'm not a napper, but I know there's some people out

there that take an afternoon nap and that sets them up for the

next part of their day, right? Misty? Napper

she likes a siesta and she can sleep in any position anywhere

at any time Look over and she's got a

little tiny snore going on in me and Tristan are like

how in the world does she do that? She wakes up and

she's good. She's like, okay good for the day. I'll power it up and

I guess my question is, and since your kids are a little bit older than mine, how do

you enforce good habits with

your children, like your younger children specifically? Like

my son, obviously what he wanted was a gaming computer.

He just got it. And what I noticed a few days after getting

it, we're staying up till two, three in the morning. And I'm like, you

know, I don't care how late you stay up. but you

have to be getting yourself up for school. And that is,

so that is the, that is the rule, right? Like if you miss

your alarm clock or you don't set an alarm clock or you're not waking yourself up, then

I'm going to take the computer. Because that means you, I've got to,

I've got to exert a little bit of external discipline when you're not being self-disciplined. I

give you the opportunity to be self-disciplined, but how do you, how did

you, you know, encourage those habits

So, so with, with my boys, man, and

I've said this a hundred times, I am so lucky because, um,

because cell phones and even gaming systems were

pretty, they were, they were out there and my kids

played them that my kids had cell phones, but not

to the extent of that, that the kids in that kind of a life have

now. Yeah. Um, but I would wake up

with them and we would, we would do things together. So like

my kids wrestled, you know, from a, from an early age. So we had

six, 6 00 AM practices. Um, so

I would wake up and Braxton and then I would

get Tristan up at 6 00 AM. He would go to practice with us. He would

go and get a workout in every morning, all through wrestling. So

it was, it was one of those things where. We had workout stuff

in the garage. So we had, we had, um, air dying, which

was the beast. That's what I call it, the beast. And some

mornings you would do a 20 minute air dining routine with

sweats on and you'd have to get, cause they, you know, they're cutting weight. And

so they, from, I mean, Tristan, we're talking Tristan's five, six years old,

not cutting weight, but going out there and doing an air dining routine and doing

an air dining workout. If we went to the high school, he, uh, usually

there'd be another kid, his age or his size that was at the high school that he

would have to work with. So I set that up like, but

I did it with him. I didn't like sit there and tell them what

to do. Like I would just, I would do it with them. Right. Right.

And so I get up for work. I do

my routine. I encourage Tristan to do the same thing. He, he

usually gets himself up, even from an early age, he got himself up. He

did his alarm. Braxton. Not

so much. I would have to wake Braxton up and like, wake

him up and be like, Hey, get out of bed. And then go

upstairs. And I know like 15 minutes, get up early, go back downstairs and be like, Hey,

get up. Cause he was, if, if it was his choice, he

wasn't getting up. He would not, but Tristan would already be up, which even

like a young age, he would get up, which is kind of like me. And

then my wife, she's a snoozer. She hits the snooze button like

12 times. It feels like dude. And it makes me so

mad. Cause I'll hear her, uh, I'll hear her alarms go

off and I'm like, well, now I'm up. Cause an alarm means get

Um, you know, I don't mind hitting the snooze button. Like I

think one of the worst things I ever did for myself was like invest

in a really nice bed. That was like my divorce, uh,

treat to myself. And I'm like, I gotta just love where I sleep. Right. Cause

Yeah. So, so to sort of finish answering your question, I think being

a part of that, not, not barking orders,

but just encouraging good habits and then doing

the good habits yourself and like showing, Hey, I'm going to get up with you, man. Hey, I'm

up as well. Yeah. And I'm starting my day just

by, just by seeing you eventually, I

think that they learn to do it on themselves, but If you wake

them up and you're not careful, then they'll just

get used to you doing those things for them. From

an early age, Misty would tell

my boys, you have clean clothes, you take a shower every day,

and you do your laundry. She didn't do their laundry when

they were younger, so my kids didn't grow up with a

mom that they had to do their own laundry. Still to this day, they do their own laundry. Lately,

I've been telling Tristan, when you wake up and it's snowing, you

shovel that driveway. Yeah. Don't drive over the top of it. Don't drive over

Oh, we got some stripped bead razors outside.

There's a snow one out there. I know. Yeah. So, um, I would, so

I'm like, don't drive over my snow. Don't drive over my driveway with when

there's snow on the ground, clean it. Cause Misty drives over there and my driveway.

And then you got to chisel it off. It makes me so mad. It is. It is obnoxious. So

I want to recap a little bit and just, um, Make

sure for my own clarity that I understand because you, you mentioned something I think is

really beneficial. Um, and this is concept of lead by

example, right? I read this book a long time ago. It's one of

my absolute favorite books of all time. Nathaniel Fick, one bullet away, the

making of a Marine Corps officer. I stumbled to

that, but, um, he talks about his experience at first at

Dartmouth and then going to, uh, the Marine Corps officer

training candidate school. And that is there. That is, I

believe their motto, ductus exemplo. Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh,

so lead by example. Yeah. And I think that's interesting. I think that's something

that like. we probably don't credit ourselves with

needing to do, right? Leading your children, leading

your life. Like when you have these little people, they're looking

to you. So you lead, so you got them up. You

encourage them to come with you on your workouts because you were coaching. And

then as they moved into their own, they kind of already had that habit, right?

And so you brought it with them and you continue to do it with them as they went

on their own journey. Um, I think it's interesting too. You

give them responsibility. So the first step,

it's like this progressive elaboration of extra

discipline because you're coming with dad, right? So I'm leading by example,

exerting a little bit of discipline as a father saying, come with me, get this

done. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. You build that habit that way. You,

you, uh, program that, that, um, reticular

activation system inside of your brain. to

be attuned to that habit. Then you start giving them their own roles

and responsibilities progressively. I'm assuming it

wasn't just start with laundry, it was probably take out the trash, do

the dishes. Everybody has a night to do the dishes. Everybody

in my house has a night to do the dishes. And their dishes, they're on

dishes for the day. And then when it's not their day, they just have

to simply bring, you know, clear their dish, right? And so that's, I

mean, that's something that I've kind of looked at doing, like how do

I make up for what I wasn't doing when I was a less

conscious parent? Now I've moved into a little bit more

consciousness around What am I doing? Right?

When we act unconsciously, we just kind of, we're kind of like rudderless.

Sure. And forcing and guiding is two

separate things. You cannot force these young minds,

nor can you force our clients. We can't force the people that we're helping.

We cannot force them to make changes. We cannot force them. We

can lead. We can tell them what

we're doing. We can explain to them our routines. We can explain

to them the benefits of it. But you cannot force them to do anything.

You can guide them and you can encourage good behavior. And you

know, for me, I never really was the kind of parent that took away, I couldn't

do it. I didn't take away things. I didn't ground my kids. It

was too hard on me. I didn't like it on myself. Cause then I'm like, now I

have to keep track of you shithead because you're a shithead. You

know, now you're grounded and now I have to make sure that you don't have your phone and you make

sure you're doing your homework. And I'm like, that's not the way that I'm, I

don't want to live like that. Yeah. I also didn't

send them to school. Do your

homework at school. Don't come

home and ask me how to do your shit. I

got through my school work. If you need help, go to tutoring. Because

I'm like, man, your teacher is supposed to do that stuff. Ask your teacher for help, not me.

And my wife would get mad at me because she's like, well, you're supposed to help him. And I'm like, I am

And learn how to ask for it yourself. But if I force them

to do their homework, if I force them to do their homework, they're not

doing it. They're not doing shit if I don't ask them, if I force them

to do it. But I encourage them. I encourage good behaviors. And

I think that's what, you know, when you're going back and

maybe you feel like you failed in certain areas of parenting,

let yourself off the hook, like we talk about all the time and then go back and

just start being encouraging. This is going to help you. It's not going

to change anything if they don't want to. Right. But the

last thing you want is for you to go

out there and not have tried. Right. Try to encourage

them. Cause even to this day, if I'm doing something, you

know, if I, if I expect them to do it, then I, I

do it myself. Right. Right. I don't, um,

They tease me all the time because I'm not a good cook But all if Misty

needs me to cook I cook dinner and sometimes I get sometimes I nail it

other times They're like man. This was this should have been mom

should have cooked this Hey, you know like it's it's

just me trying to yeah to show them The

steps that you're supposed to take because if I if I

tell you to do something and I'm not doing it myself it's just like

Yeah, I think I, and if I can for a moment of vulnerability here, I

think my mom was pretty good at getting me to

do things, right? She had her own ways of getting me to accomplish things, but I

think more often than not, and I, I

think this is a trend, I think with probably, I'm willing to

bet with a lot of single mothers of sons, that

they intervene too often. And

so the son becomes dependent. Sure.

And it almost builds a codependent relationship where the son is

too dependent on mom to, to solve problems.

And so we, um, we,

we, we see the, like I had, uh, I had a friend of mine who was, you

know, yelling at her, her son the other night. And I'm just like,

And she turns to me and she's like, when is the

logic gonna kick in? And I just looked at her and I said, you've gotta

stop doing shit for him. You gotta stop doing shit for him.

He needs to do shit on his own. If he makes a mess, he

cleans it up. Stop enabling him. Because

then you become like the drug dealer that's like, here, you want a taste? And

once they get that taste, it burns into their brain

that life is easy and somebody else will come save me.

Yeah. That's funny you say that because like, um, part of

my routines are to do

certain things like to not leave messes to not.

but my mom and my sisters

definitely cleaned up after me and my brother. So I didn't have that skillset

going into my marriage. And so the first

couple of years of my marriage, I was that throw shit off

everywhere, leave it everywhere, leave my dishes everywhere, leave trash

everywhere. Cause I was like, well, Misty will just clean it up.

And I, it's funny you say that because then I would depend on her to

clean that stuff up, you know? And I don't know if you did the same thing with Cammie. Like if

you were like, If it just transparently went from your mom to

Cammie, where you kind of depended on her to do things also, and now

I'm not going to say that I wasn't, but because I think I was definitely an

active participant, but I think what I would notice

is that she would get frustrated, like getting the kids to do things that

rather than making those kids do them, I started doing them for the

kids, right? Like it was just easier for me to rather than

to deal with whatever, you know, emotion she was

having as she was needing help to just go do it, to just go help, to

snap into help. And then again, I think that was probably also a little bit

of, um, dysfunction left over from my

mom as well as my mom would like, you know, fall into disarray.

Like I would just snap to and start doing things, right? Like

I don't, I didn't, I didn't have the emotional capability to

just say, those are her, that's her space. Let's create a boundary here.

And I just jumped to and started, you know, doing whatever

Fixing. I think looking back on that now

that you're saying that, like... My mom's great.

She's great, but she did not teach us routines. She did not

teach us how to develop routines. I did learn how to do routines from the military. And

I went to the military very early in my life. And you,

you better learn very fast to do that routine or

your life is hell. And I remember thinking, okay, I'm just going to like, if

they tell me to do it, I'm just going to do it. And I'm not going to like ask questions.

I'm just going to figure it out. And, um, it

definitely helped me and, uh,

catapulted me to, to making routines part

of my life. Right. And then it was very

So what, like what, what, like, let's back up just a sec. Cause I want to

know, because I, I definitely didn't learn routines either.

Yeah. Right. Like it was on me and I didn't realize it

was on me, but the method of teaching routines for me was

you're going to go on a mission. Right. But what I learned on a mission is that there's

no true consequence for not living the routine, right?

Like nobody's coming to check on you. There's no, you

There's no checks and balances where I'm, I'm guessing in the military, I was always, it

was always something I'm like, I wonder how I would have done had I

gone that route instead, because I really feel like I

wish that was something I would have learned sooner. Sure.

And, and, and taking more accountability. But I'm guessing

the way you were taught routines in the military, like there were some

For sure. You know, like even fun, you know, that it's, it's dialed down

the way you talk, the way you speak to them,

the way you speak to higher ranking individuals, they

tell you exactly how to say it. And as soon as you don't say it that way,

then they tune you up. And it's, uh, and then, and so

like in the army, that's called smoke. I don't remember what we called it, but that's where you had to

do pushups to like drop down and do pushups. And

I'll tell you when to stop. And you're like, okay. And then you're just doing pushups and

pushups and pushups. And you're like, can I stop? And they're like, don't stop. Cause

you'll just keep going. Or you make a

mistake and the whole platoon, everybody

in the platoon has to be punished because of your mistake. So

you're like, I don't want to make any mistakes because now all these people are

My wife, originally when my kids were smaller, she

would get mad because like, let's say Braxton did something. Well, then

both boys, the both boys would get punished. And

if Tristan did something and Braxton knew that Tristan was doing it or

Braxton didn't like help him or like, Hey, knock that shit off. Then

both boys would be punished because it's like, well, you guys are in charge of each other. You guys

need to help each other. That's something I learned in the military. And my wife would be like, Hey,

you're not a drill sergeant. These dudes are not, these kids are not in the military. And I'd be like,

well, it worked for me. Yeah. Yeah. And it works for people that

it works instantly when you are, you are being

punished or your friends are being punished for

shit that you did or you're, you know, like, let's say somebody did something and

now I'm being punished. I'm like, Hey man, knock it off, clean,

clean yourself. Cause you know, people come in with like really bad hygiene.

And it was, there was some gross stuff that people would do. Sure.

Um, but it's, it's for, it's for eight weeks and

you are, as soon as you are there, it's like

two weeks of them, like trying to reprogram your brain. But

everything is a routine. You wake up at the same time to Reveley and

you do workouts and then you start about your day. But everything is,

everything is built in a routine, right? When you eat, You

eat, you eat, everybody sits down at the table. You

put your hand like, you put your hands, and I'm putting my hands flat on the table. Everybody

sits down until the last person sits down. You put your hands on the

table. And then when the last person sits down, then you start eating.

And then when you're done, you put your, when you're, if I was done

and you're not, I put my hands on the table until you're done. And then

we all stand up together. We clean our plates together and

then push our, if you left and, you,

you, you did something wrong, then the drill sergeants would come over and just start

tuning you up because you were doing it. And so you did everything. Everything

has a purpose, right? By the time you're done, you're

already, you're like a robot at that point. Yeah. Yeah. You know, when

I was lucky, my, my, my, uh, drill instructor was awesome.

He was really cool. And he would be like, Hey, we're just, this is just the first couple of

weeks. that you guys are going to get better. You guys are,

you, you are going to get better. And then he would rip you a

new asshole and you'd be like, man, I thought you'd be

better. And so, um, so that, that was

a good thing for me because then I, that now, even

to this day, when I get a little bit off my routine, I'm

able to like, just go right back to, you know, and so like, I didn't, it's

already in my brain. So I try to instill that in the boys. I really

try to instill that in the boys. Misty, creature of habit, and she's

OCD about a lot of things. So there's times when we're,

you know, she's doing something and I'm like, man, that's just part of her routine. And

she has to do it and she has to make sure, you know, that it's

done that way or she'll get all

I mean, I think it's, I think it's totally fascinating because it's like, you

know, you're, you are meant to be on your mission. You're

meant to wake up at six o'clock. You're meant to study. You're meant to do this. And like, you

know, it, it really all comes down to self-discipline, right?

Because the, you know, the, the, the touting of

blessings, right? The blessings, right? Like that, to

me, there was no, like, there was no transit of

property. I couldn't, I couldn't equate the blessing to

like me actually waking up. The blessing to me was like, actually, I

feel rested. I slept in and I feel rested.

Like, you know what I mean? Like I didn't equate to the fact that like,

had I been more, had more self-discipline, I would have learned

the routine process better. So now waking

up at six o'clock in my forties would be

a lot easier. And maybe I'd be waking up at five o'clock and, and,

or, or four 30 is, you know, those, some of those crazy people

do this. Yeah. But I couldn't see

the transitive property of, hey, if I do this, then I

get this blessing, right? Because of the religious

undertone, I just, it didn't equate for

It didn't equate for me. That's interesting you say that. I like the way that you say that, because now

thinking about, as you're saying that, I'm thinking to myself, this

is a good way for me to approach tomorrow when I wake up, as opposed

to getting on my phone right away, waking up and adjusting

a couple of things. Because It is a blessing, like there are blessings

that you can get from doing something a little different that you're not

happy about. Like changing something, changing part of

your routine, changing part of your life, there are blessings from that.

And you can look at it that way and you can say, hey, this is a good thing that I'm doing. Or

you can continue to do the same shitty thing and be like, well, I'm

And I mean like, hey, if you want to sleep in and that's your shtick, like

nobody's here to tell you what to do, right? I

think the underlying principle here is one, you're going to hit obstacles. You're

always going to hit obstacles in your routine, whether it's, you know, a sickness, whether

it's your training and you're, you know, failing

to progress. you're always going

to hit those things, right? So be compassionate with yourself. You do

you, but if you want to get better, you have to look at,

you have to look at the outside, extraordinary things you

Sure. Yeah. That's, that's cool. Um, what

about like, so, so then, so now we've talked about like, um, we've

talked about morning, we talked about mid afternoon, we talked about the day

My night routine? Oh man. Um, not

so much. Not so much. My biggest thing is not

be on my phone. I'm trying really hard not because

I do find that I've caught, got caught

in the habit of doom scrolling. Okay. Right. Like I've,

I will just be like, Oh, all of a sudden it's like 20 minutes

have gone by and I'm on Tik Tok and I'm like, wait, how did I get a

Tik Tok? And why do I care what, you know, this person

is doing this person is doing. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

so I definitely do. I like, I've been truly trying to kick in

like the skincare, um, called her lab shout

out if you want to sponsor the show and wash my face with

that. Uh, it looks good. Yeah. Thank you. Um, great

stuff. So around like really just personal care, wash

my face, brush, floss my teeth. um, do

that kind of stuff. And then really, um, I

do, I do like, like the idea of like listening to

a meditation, trying to reprogram some

of my thinking in that like posts,

like as you fall asleep now, um, I've got a

membership to insight timer, which just has a

bunch of different meditations and different things like that. So, um, Um,

I've been listening to the same one for about 45 days straight.

Oh, it's super interesting. I don't know if it's working. Um,

that's cool. But like I do, like I put on my little sleep

mask and I'm, I'll listen to it. And then like, I will have fallen asleep.

Some of that time. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. I, I, um, currently,

uh, since January 1st, I've been doing, um, 50, 50 calisthenics

50. So I do 50 pushups, 50 squats, 50, uh,

split legged squats. And then I do a 52nd. Oh,

cool. And I've been doing it every night, you know, and I feel good about it. I

also lay on an acupuncture bed. Oh yeah. I lay on

that for, I fall, now I fall asleep in it. And so I'll be, I may have

been two hours. It's a torture device. Yeah. When I first lay on it, I'm like,

oh, this is miserable, right? Yeah. But

I do believe, you know, as we, as we kind of like

close this down of like routines, developing a routine

in the morning, developing a routine in the afternoon, and then just

not like forcing your people around you to do

your routine, but encouraging them to develop some

sort of routine and then holding them accountable with

things that you expect. Right. If you expect your children to

do the dishes, one person do the dishes. It's a routine. Now I

expect you to do that. If you need to wake up for the year, if

you have to get yourself up for school, step as late as you want. I don't give a

shit. Yeah. But. You get your butt up at school and I better

not have to come wake you up because then I'm going to make adjustments to you. Yep. Right. Yep.

Now with, with your significant others, with

your wife and or husbands, just

remember like your routine is your routine. don't

expect them to do the same thing or have the same like, you know,

just be kind to them and be, and remember like there's no booklet for

how life is supposed to go. Having hard times, having

rough times in life is

not fun for anybody. Like if everybody's sick in

the house and all of a sudden you're pissed at each other and who's doing the dishes tonight

or who's cooking tonight and you're like, Well, it's my turn, you

Can I, and this is just a random, like out of left field question, who

Me. Well, no, Misty. Sorry, Misty. Misty. Misty teaches very early.

So here's my question. When she wakes up early and you don't have to

throw her under the bus, does she, does she wake

everybody else up in the process or does she kind of just go

about and get herself ready? Can she do it with limited disruption to

I think like no matter what, I wake up when she wakes up because

she does, she does hit the snooze every once in a while. But

for the most part, she's, she's very quiet when

she can. I know if she's not being

quiet, it's probably because the night before I wasn't quiet when I got

into bed. And so she's like, fuck it. I don't care. You were good. That's what

we're doing. Um, but you know, what's interesting

about that is that she'll, um, She, when

she wakes up, um, she, she, she has her own routine.

I know that there's certain things that she does that I'll be like, oh, that's

interesting. She does it every morning, you know, every morning. And,

uh, yeah, she's a, she, she gets up at four 30, a

Interesting. I just, I find that fascinating. I had a very interesting,

I had a very different dynamic. I was the one that would, I would generally wake

up earlier. And I was always very conscious as to, you know,

let my partner sleep in. She liked to sleep in and she

had a much later routine than me. And so I would, I would do, um, I

would, you know, go about doing my thing. I would limited lights. If

I, if I, if I needed to, uh, have some lights on,

I do what I need to do with limited light. And I was fine with it. Like I

didn't allowing her the comfort of sleeping in was like, I

thought I was, I would, I thought I was doing something nice. Uh,

complete opposite. If they were ever the off chance that,

um, my partner had to leave earlier than me,

it was like, it was like everybody was waiting. Yeah. Dang.

I don't know how to deal with that. Yeah. Well, I

think like, that's part of that of like, just being like forgiving sometimes

like little things, but I think that would probably piss me off. I think I would

probably be a little bit like, Hey, Let's, let's, let's be quiet. You

know, let's not do that kind of a thing to each other. Cause

if not, then I'm going to, you know, I'll figure out a way to wake you up too. Right. Right.

Um, cool, man. Uh, I appreciate this topic.

So, um, couple of big things. Park

City Jiu Jitsu just announced that they are doing their summer camp. Oh

yes. Dates are out. Nice. Um, on the next podcast, I'll

I think on the next podcast, we take this on the road because

you know what? Yeah, we're going to be in Florida.

We are. Yeah. Florida. So we're going to record in Florida, I

think. Let's try it. Let's try to record in Florida and

I think it'd be cool. I think it'd be cool. Yeah, we

have Florida coming up, so we have our camp going. We're leaving to Florida

in a week and a half, I think. Maybe just over two weeks. Two weeks, yeah.

Two weeks we leave, and then, yeah, so that was just announced

today. Mona and I have been kind of

working on it in the shadows, mainly Mona.

She's awesome when she puts that to

her mind. It's going to be at the same place. It's going to be at the new park in

Park City. I don't have the dates. The

dates are out. I'll do a little bit better of a job giving

an ad for that and putting that up on our website. We

have open mat stuff, we have a bunch of

training going on. It's

the first of the year, I'd encourage everybody, I'm trying, my goal this year is to get

20 new people into the academy, somehow or another, 20 new

white belts, trying to figure out a way to encourage

them to stay. If I can get 20 and keep 10, I think that's a

pretty good number, you know? Right now I'm trying to hit it pretty

hard, talking to people and trying to sell, getting people in

there and helping them with their journey, you

know? And I just, their website's up

today. I put, oh, just, just breathe. So

I did change the name. It's called highlife breathing. Oh, nice. Highlife

breathing is up and taking clients, taking, um,

hopefully going to help people in

their journey and to give them, you will be helping people on their, on their

Absolutely. I think, I think breath work is one of the most, You

know, that we talk about all these nationalistic bonds, but we never talk about how breath

connects us as a species. And if we, if we could just, if

we could all just have the bond of breath, like maybe we'd

be happier and nicer to each other and less aggro. So

I hope so. Um, how about you? What do you got going on besides, I mean, the camps and

Yeah, I'm, I got a little bit of travel. I'm going to head down to St. George. I'm hoping to do

some, uh, training in St. George next week. Um, I'll

be in the gym likely Lehigh Saturday. Uh, I

think I'm going to try to hit a Sunday before I head down to St. George as

well. Just because I'm finally feeling like I got over

this and I just need, I need a little kick. So, Um,

yeah, I'm going to try to train at least once in St. George. I got a big corporate

meeting, so I'm hoping I can, this is for the new job. Yeah. I can, we're hoping I

can sneak away for one night and, uh, um,

there, uh, it's a space theme. They're doing a space theme. There's

a dress-up day. Oh, I think I might rock the orange key. Yeah

I got a NASA Sanibel G

for those of you who are in the in the Jets like a damn I

could rock that to the this corporate meeting a sucker is a bright light

What a, man, like cool. I'm excited for you. I'm

stoked for you to see how this journey goes. And, and hopefully

we wrap up these last little things that we needed to do to make our

Yeah. I think we're, I think we're close and I hope that we keep, keep our

listeners on the edge of their seats of what we have going on. So

you can look up for Tyler at

For myself, it's highlifebreathing.com. It's

on my Instagram. And Tyler, I'm so

grateful. I'd really like to thank you. Thank you for helping me. Thank

you for encouraging me and really being somebody that

I can look to and not discourage anything that I bring to

you. Cause I, all I am, I, I, man, I put

a lot of pressure of asking you a lot of things. So I, again,

So stoked to be on this journey with you. And again, the feelings mutual, like

we need other men to kind of help push us. Right. Yeah.

We can, we can be stagnant. Anybody can be stagnant. Anybody can be the

hermit on the hill. If that's what you want to do. I mean, I'm,

I'm, I'm honored, but I think most men don't realize that

we need other men to kind of keep our heads straight, keep each other

straight. And we become better men when we surround ourselves with,

with good men. Yeah. Show me who your friends are and I'll show you

who you are. Yeah. My favorite quote. So sick. Danny, we'll

keep at it. And thank you all for, for tuning in and catch