Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Welcome back to the last Boy Scouts podcast.

Yeah, you're right into it. Let's do it.

Yeah. Welcome back. Welcome back.

Welcome back Yeah, it's uh, we we uh, we

just got done with training Killer night.

Yeah, Chris Parker. Congratulations. Yes.

Congratulations. You hear this Chris Parker

got his purple belt We've talked about Chris

a couple times on here. He's a He's a good

dude, man. So Chris Parker and I, we were

COVID. I think I've talked about this. We

were COVID. He was in my COVID group. We

had never met each other. I'd heard about

him training right before COVID. We, um,

he was going to the night classes and I was

going to the day classes and Mike was like,

man, you got to meet this guy. You got to

meet this, uh, this guy. He's a rock climber.

I know you rock, you climb rocks. And, uh,

he's a killer guitar player. He's in this

band. And, um, Then COVID happened and you

know, like when we were training, it was

crazy because at first, you know, we didn't

know what to do. Right. I mean, everybody

during COVID, nobody knew what to do. Right.

And so Mike was like, Hey, we're going to

stay open until, cause I don't, I don't see

why we wouldn't stop training. Jiu jitsu

is good for everybody. It's good for your

body. And then kind of things started going

weird and he's like, hey man, like, you know

I think we're gonna have to close for a little

while Yeah, and then when he opened he was

like, I'm not sure what to do but I think

what we're gonna do is build groups and we're

going to You're gonna get we're gonna assign

groups and that's all you can train with,

you know Yeah, and just by chance Mike was

like, hey, I'm gonna put you with this Chris

Parker guy. I So we had never met and man,

him and I hit it off like right away. He's

been such a, um, when I got my purple belt,

he got his blue belt. And so, um, that'd

be times when during COVID we would train

in my basement, um, downstairs, just me,

him and trip sometimes just going over the

white to blue belt stuff, you know? That's

awesome. And, um, it was really cool to see

him.

Just another, uh, another one of your mentees.

I know it's really cool to see him.

He's a, he's a, he's a Danny, Danny purple

belt. He's a, well, he's a Mike Diaz, but,

um, but, um, I definitely, we, we've had

some really cool conversations and he's a

good dude. Yeah. Um, and I was glad to be

there too.

It was really cool, man.

I'm like, they have that band.

I mean, I'm not surprised. Yeah. But like,

yeah. But like, you never know when it's

good, when something like that's going to

happen. Right. Like those, those, uh, Like

we have the belt promotions that for white

to blue, typically there's a bunch of stuff

that goes on, but you know, surprise as far

as like every once in a while somebody gets

a brown belt, somebody gets a purple belt,

you know, and it's just based on the, the,

the attendance and the effort they put in

their time training, their time on the mat.

And then.

It was really cool because Gustavo was there.

Gustavo, I started with him. Gustavo Rodriguez.

He's out of Tooele. He also has his Jiu Jitsu

is also out of one hit MMA. That's where

I fought out of with Aldo. And he was there

and he said some cool stuff. He's like, you

know, blue belt. A lot of people quit with

blue belt because they think they know enough

or they just don't have time or things get

in the way. And once you get the purple belt,

he's like, you know, you can't quit now.

You can't quit. You're in it.

You are. You absolutely are. Gustavo, uh,

roughed my first match. Oh yeah. Yeah. The

first match I ever competed in. Right. So

for the green. Yeah. Cool. I mean, cool.

Just a cool group. Cool, cool band. They

all, they all practice Jiu Jitsu.

Yeah. The whole band. Man, and they're good.

They yeah, I guess they had that show up

in Park City Knocked it out of the park from

what I understand. Like it was a really really

cool thing. It was snowing like crazy But

there was a lot of color on the mat tonight

a lot of hammers Yeah, a lot of killers.

Yeah, um was it was a tough night 20 rounds

of just monsters Yeah, right. Yeah for black

belts.

Yeah for black for black belts for purple

belts.

Yeah to brown belts. Gosh, just a bunch of

killers Yeah, um It's interesting with when

you start to go down the path and you, you

know, you bring, you have all these like

eclectic walks of life, right? And each of

them brings something to the mat. And that's

what somebody was talking about tonight with

like energies and how energy is transferred

and how um you know you could have so much

negative energy going on like i had a really

rough day i had a really bad day and i can

still kind of feel it on my body like i can

still feel that i'm like kind of anxious

about going to work tomorrow and a little

anxious about not getting enough sleep and

yeah and jujitsu like took away for like

i literally went almost two and a half hours

and didn't think about a single thing. And

energy transfers in that space, right? And

I don't know if anybody, you don't understand

it until you're in it, right? You don't know

until you're in it. And you don't know that

you need it until you don't have it.

Yeah, it's true. It's true. And I'm always

surprised by the guys on the mat that don't

realize the energy that they bring to the

mat. that are constantly like, man, you're

coming at me hard. And I'm like, well, actually,

no, I'm just, I'm, I'm really mirroring,

I'm mirroring, I'm protecting myself, right?

Like I can feel your energy and now I have

to step it up because I am protecting myself.

I will slow down. I know I need to make 20

rounds. I know I got to take little sips

and conserve my grips and I want to, you

know, I want to, I want to be a competitor.

I want to be a tough match for you. I don't

want to have to like get stuck in this like

battle. Yeah. So,

Yeah, and energy transfers with your relationships

in the same way. Yeah. You know, like you

can have negative and positive energies with

each of your relationships throughout the

day.

Man, I've been, I've been talking to Brent

about that and my oldest, you know, she had

a little, little spat at school and I was

like, what can you control? What can you

control? What can you control? What are you

really in control of? And I said, you're

in control of your response. And you know,

you've become a wise adult when you can not

be reactive. Like if somebody's coming at

you and they're you, you did this, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's very easy

to just go, wait, I got to defend myself

and just mirror that back. but you know you've

crossed over into wise adult. You've, you've

conquered or you've become in control of

your nervous system to not fall into that

fight or flight and just say, okay, yep,

yep. I'm, I'm, I'm so guilty of that. Like,

you know, it's hard. It takes years of practice.

And so I'm kind of excited to key up tonight

cause I was hoping you would guide us through

a little breathwork session.

Show us what it's doing. You know, and, and

I was thinking about that and, and I'll talk

to you a couple of things that I do. During

fight-or-flight. Yeah, some simple things

that we can do and I and and really like

monitoring your nervous system starts with

You know, everybody talks about inhale exhale

inhale exhale But if you think about an inhale

as you know, you're you're breathing in energy

Yeah, you're breathing in energy. Yes, right.

You're cleaning you're breathing in clean

air And so if you just do nasal breathing

you have all these sensors in your sinus

cavity, in your nasal cavity, and you have

no idea how many sensors each nostril is

responsible for, and what both of them do

at the same time, right? And so simple ways

that you can do that is to breathe through

your mouth. And most of the time when you

breathe through your mouth, you're just breathing

carbon monoxide and you're not getting in

the full oxygen because the air has carbon

monoxide in it. And it's okay. That's the

way it's supposed to be. But if you take

some salt or you take some smelling scents,

you plug your nose, and you breathe in through

your mouth, right? You won't be able to smell

it. Yeah. I mean, you'll probably get because

we have some sensories in our mouth for you

to practice with. You know, when you were

a kid, your mom or your dad would say, you're

going to eat that. You're like, no, it tastes

disgusting. They're like, well, plug your

nose. Yeah, and you plug your nose and eat

it and you would and it makes sense because

you can't smell it most of the time Humans,

especially we are we smell before we eat,

right? so same thing like if you have if

you're wondering what it's like just take

some Sense put in your mouth and breathe

through your mouth or sorry put in your hands

and breathe through your mouth You won't

be able to to smell it if you plug your nose.

Yeah, then Unplug your nose, close your mouth,

breathe through, just through your nose,

slowly. And I promise you, you'll understand

what I'm talking about with your nasal cavity,

because there's so many sensors up there.

So in the morning, what you should do is

take a couple breaths in and out through

your nose, right? And so what I do is I set

a timer on my watch, And I have, um, it's

energy. And I think about that when I wake

up, I have a routine. I wake up, I close

my eyes. I, I wash my face. I put my salt,

my sense in my hands. I rub them together

and I rub them on my body. And then I put

them in my hands. And for those of you guys

that are not watching on YouTube, it's just

putting your hands over your mouth, like

you're, um, cupping your face, cupping your

face. Right. And I breathe just through my

nose in and out, in and out. And there is

no rhythm. There's no, there's no rhyme.

You know, it's just a simple do set yourself

a 22nd timer in and out through your nostrils

in and out, in and out, in and out, in and

out. And you'll feel the energy start to

get your body awake, right? You'll feel that.

Then what you can do is plug your nose, breathe

all the way out, plug your nose, and act

like you're swallowing. Right, but you have

to plug your nose. And that is, it's called

blowing out your sinuses. You do it when

you're diving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. When you're coming

up from a... Same concept. Yeah, okay.

Same concept. You're blowing, what you're

doing is you're cleaning out your sinuses.

And you'll feel this, you'll hear in your

inner ear, kind of like a suction noise,

right, in your inner ear. But the key is

with breathing, is to do it first thing in

the morning, no food, no liquid, empty stomach,

empty stomach, because you need to be able

to like, have a very hollow, a hollow cell.

Right.

And so you're trying to maximize the space

your lungs have really, if I'm understanding

you correctly.

So if you think about where your organs are

at, your organs, so you have really just

your heart and then you have lungs, right?

But they go all the way through your body,

right? But then most of your organs are in

your belly, right? So if you breathe through

your nose and you get it all the way down

into your belly, now you're getting oxygen

to your stomach and to those organs. You

need to get them to your organs, but you

need to do it with And like I said, first

thing in the morning, no liquid, no food.

And really it should take about 10 to 15

minutes at the most. Um, as you get further

on, you should be able to get 30 minutes

to an hour. That's a long time to breathe.

It takes a lot of practice to get to, it

takes years to get to where you can sit calmly

and keep your breath under control for 30,

45, 60 minutes, you know,

Because it's partially, it's also what's

going through your head, I'm assuming. You

start to wander. Well, it's like doubling

down on meditation. I think I listened to

Huberman where he talks about breath work

actually being more beneficial than your

standard meditation, right? From what I understand

too, we have this system of nerves and Breathing

actually helps give those nerves more space

and helps like, um, I know when I have an

anxiety attack, my, my, um, not that that

happens much, but like my, my therapist was

like, just do two quick inhales and then.

Yeah. That activates what he calls this nervous

break, like it slows, you know, gives that

nerve more room to do just beat.

When I'm teaching people about breathing

and when I'm talking to people about breathing,

like you could, I could, show you how I do

it, you would look at me and you would try

to mimic me and it would make zero sense

to you because you're not, you haven't practiced

it. It's like everything else in life. You

have to practice it. So the simplistic things

to do is to breathe in, and out, but not

through your mouth. It's really hard because

we've talked about taping our mouth, both

you and I have taped our mouth before. I've

taped my mouth at night. I'm not a mouth

breather, so I notice when I'm sleeping that

my mouth is closed. I do snore sometimes.

those nights, I'm probably not getting a

full rest of sleep. But when I taped my mouth,

it didn't, I mean, I slept fine. I didn't

have any anxiety. Right. But let's say you're

driving and the things you want to avoid

while you're driving, but you're just sitting

there. You don't want to do any kind of while

you're driving because that's hyperventilating.

And you potentially could pass out, but you

could go, Mmm, and all yes little ASMR for

little ASMR. Yeah, what you should do is

like It should be 10 seconds of in. Mm-hmm.

So if you have to hold your breath, that's

fine and then 30 seconds of out Mmm and and

all through your mouth so you go in hold

and then you're like, oh when you go out,

you count in your head, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,

7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,

but you're breathing out through your nose,

right? And those things will calm. It's just

like your parents telling you, like I said,

it's just like your parents telling you,

count to 10 when you're upset. And again,

this is a simplistic way of doing things.

So like we talked about, Real quick, couple

of breaths in and out through your nose,

not with your mouth open. So I know there's

so many ways that people talk about, like

Huberman says, it doesn't matter if you go

in and out through your mouth or in and out

through your nose, just get the breath going,

right? Me personally, I believe not nasal

breathing is the most beneficial thing that

you can do. and then sinus blowing out your

sinuses. But when you blow your sinuses out,

you breathe all the way out, no breath in

your belly, no breath in your sinus, plug

your nose and start swallowing like you're

trying to swallow. And that also can stimulate

your holding your breath. Which is why divers

do it. Because it simulates taking a breath

so they can hold their breath longer. Does

that make sense? Those two things you can

do on a daily basis as many times as you

want to do during the day. And then, like

I said, the main thing when we're talking

about basic, basic, basic is in, hold, and

now I have a timer. We have all these technology

things that are so cool. So I have a built-in

program on my Garmin. So I just watch, I

in and when it's 10 seconds, and then I out

for 30 seconds, but I'm counting in my head

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4,

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, fully out through the

nostrils. Because that is how you can hold

your breath longer. It teaches you how to

hold your breath longer. which again, if

you want to try this out, you go into a pool,

you cannot go in a pool.

Yeah. Not without drowning.

Right. Yeah. You have to do it above, above,

above the surface. Then you go down and then

you can go one, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, 10, one, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.

And then when you're fully out of breath,

you hold your breath. Yeah. And, um, when

you get to fight or flight, because panic

sets in, right? And again, what, how you

want to try it, like go to jujitsu, keep

your mouth closed. And when you're getting

smothered, tapped, just count in your head.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

6, 7, 9, 10. You're going to be able to hold

your breath. You're going to be, you're going

to be fine. Now maybe there's a choke on

and you're going to pass out, but if it's

just smothering and you're panicking, man,

you can calm yourself down quickly. So when,

I talk to men who are going through some

very scary things that they're going through.

Learning how to navigate their breath is

the first thing that you should help a young

man with. help your children with, help your

significant other with. And you personally,

me personally, I do 20 to 30 minutes of breath

work every morning. No, no questions asked.

I don't, I don't, you know, it's my time.

I make Misty's coffee. I may make Misty's

coffee prior to doing it, but I also may

tell Misty, like, I'm having a rough day.

I'm going to go breathe first. I don't stretch,

because that could take me another 30 minutes,

right? Then I'll go make her coffee, then

I'll go back and stretch. But breath work,

first thing. And my practice starts with

just getting my breath under control. It's

in and out through my nasal cavity, and then

blow my sinuses out, then in and out, then

in and out. And I may do some, which is just

fire breathing, right? And I believe that

that those simple things can calm a man's

nervous system so fast. Because when you're

breathing like that, all of your senses are

focused on your breath and no longer on anger,

frustration. When I notice that my central

nervous is off, it's when I'm holding my

breath. I can't hold my breath for as long

as, like, there were times when I was getting

up to a minute of breath work, doing fire

breathing, breathe all the way out, no air

inside my stomach, no air inside of my belly,

no air anywhere, fully exhaled, and I could

hold my breath for a minute. And some of

it is, like I said, swallowing, because that

stimulates your brain, simulates a breath,

and so you can go longer. I'm currently practicing

with a different technique. So I'm only able

to hold my breath for 30 seconds But when

your central nervous system is off, you're

not holding your breath at all Yeah, no because

your heart starts your heart starts to race

and that triggers your mind. I need to breathe

Yeah, and so you'll go

Yeah, so those are the feelings you start

to get that indicate that you're in that

fight or flight.

And so then what you need to do, just go

back to the very beginning. Don't worry about

fire breathing. Don't worry about breath

work. Go to training. Hold your breath. Put

yourself in those scary situations. Don't

hyperventilate breathing. Don't practice

hyperventilation because you're already in

a fight or flight. You don't need to stimulate

that. Your body's already stimulated like

that. When you're calm, you know, and things

are going good in your life, then you need

to hyperventilate. You need to get to the

hyperventilate stage because you're probably

not in that hyperventilation stage right

now. And then that's when new techniques

come into the play. That's when fire breathing.

you know, those, those kinds of sounds. And

it's funny when I was showing Braxton, what

happens is your breath gets trapped. And

me as a breath work person, I can see your

breath is trapped in there and you think

you're doing it because of the sounds, but

I can tell with your body that your breath

is trapped inside of there. Right. And so

I'll be like, okay, breathe all the way out.

And all of a sudden you're like, And there's

all this breath, and you're like, what the

heck? It's because what's happening is as

you're breathing, you're holding your breath,

and more air is getting in, more air is getting

in, more air is getting in, more air is getting

in, more air is getting in, so there's this

big breath in there. So what's happening?

Carbon monoxide is building inside of your

body. And then, as soon as you breathe all

the way out, you'll go. because carbon monoxide

is not actually what you need. Now, in the

air, we definitely need more carbon monoxide

than oxygen, which is actually interesting.

You know, you need carbon monoxide. That's

kind of how the world works, right? And so,

As you know, we were talking with Jesse today,

he was talking about how we need to breathe,

we need to breathe. And it's because he's

excited about learning how to breathe. But

it's so boring. The basic part is so boring.

But if you don't learn the basic part of

just nasal breathing and what's the benefits

of nasal breathing, then the other stuff

doesn't make sense. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And

fight or flight takes over no matter what

in any man's life. Like you have fight or

flight. Yeah. Yeah. Most of the time, um,

men are able to really trigger their fight.

They're able to like, okay, I'm ready to

fight. Um, you know, I'm, I'm, uh, I want

to learn this cause I'm going to fight it.

Yeah. Right. As opposed to like, okay, I'm

going to learn it, but I'm going to understand

it first. Right. And, um, Try, just try doing

the three of those things. Like I said, the

three, the simple of breathing in and out

through your nasal passage. Set a timer for

a minute, you know, and don't think about

like timing yourself the same amount in and

out, just in and out, in and out, in and

out. in and out in a rhythm. Get yourself

in a rhythm. What I do is I put my noise

cancelling headphones on, no music, and I

listen to my breath. Every once in a while,

I'll hold my chest like, you know, that's

a good thing to do. Hold your chest just

to calm yourself. And then practice blowing

out your nostrils, which like I said, it's

a funny thing. If you don't breathe out all

of the air, then air is trapped in there.

But if you breathe it all the way out, you'll

know what I mean. You breathe all the way

out. And if you've dived, like Tyler said,

if you've dived, The sensation is when you

get to the, you get to certain meters or

certain feet down, you, you blow your nostrils.

That's kind of what you're doing. And what

that should be is about 10 to 15 seconds

of being able to hold your breath. In, um,

everything all the way out and pinched your

nose and doing that, um, swallowing motion.

Right. And then the last thing would be set

a timer, hold in, and then at the 10 seconds,

breathe all the way out as long as you can

for 20 to 30 seconds, counting in your head,

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4,

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. What that should do is

completely calm you down, calm you down.

I would say you could do that in the morning.

Yeah. and potentially at night. Okay. Potentially

at night before you go to bed, um, more,

more of the box breathing is more, is kind

of more beneficial at, um, night, just kind

of slowing it down. And, and box breathing

is good because what it does is it, it, it

re recalibrates your brain to start. It's

so funny, because people like always said,

count the sheep. You'd think about each sheep

jumping over. That's kind of how box breathing

is. It just recalibrates and refocuses your

mind. So never fire breathing before bed.

Fire breathing is all done for certain things.

it's done like let's say you haven't slept

well and you need to drive like I do it before

I drive an hour to work I fire breathe so

that I'm like kind of like zoomed in yeah

before a competition fire breathe um before

a meeting fire breathe before a very um let's

say you're going to go meet with a person

of the opposite sex And it's not a date.

This is for either, like, you're probably

not, um, what I would say is like, if you're,

you're going through a very, a moment with

your significant other, maybe a divorce or

or something that you want to be focused

on. Yeah. You know, you, it's not tantric

stuff where you're going to do it before

sex and hold, you know, do all that kind

of like edging and all that kind of weird

shit that people do, you know, like, I'm

not saying it's weird that they do it, but

you know, bring yourself almost to climax

and then, Oh, can bring it back down. It's

not edging. It's, um, I want to be focused

and I don't want to have my emotions play

a part of anything.

yeah i'm gonna be unemotional because deprogramming

deprogramming this the the default state

and i think that's what we talk about right

when we say man in that's what we mean is

that we are focused on what is, what is our

default state for our nervous system? For

sure. And how do we control it? What are

our triggers? Right. So, um, you've, you've

given us some good examples. Like, would

you say that there's like a particular scenario

where like, Hey, things are getting heated.

I can see I've fallen back down into that,

that lower brain stem. How do I pull myself

out of it? Is there a breathing routine that

you, you particularly would recommend when,

I just, I need to bring myself back down

to base because things are getting out of

control.

That would be the, this would be that this

would be, you could use this, this, these

simple routines and you could do this for

both. You could do this for, for an initial,

um, waking up. And you can also do it for

refocusing and recentering your body, recentering

everything. When you recenter, it's a matter

of getting your breath back. Because if you're

in fight or flight, this is what it sounds

like. Right? But the same thing, it sounds

the same to you when you have a hard train,

when you've had a hard workout. gets you

back to breathing like this.

Yeah. Just slowing it down.

And going as long on the out as you can.

The out is the most important thing. The

out The of your breath is the very most important

thing. It's the most important thing during

an argument it's the most important thing

during a a Tense situation. It's the most

important thing focusing on the exhale focusing

on the exhale always yeah recentering like

I said when you start to get to a a Moment

in your life, especially like I said as a

man, you know, I had today I'm not proud

of myself, but I did have a rough morning.

And everybody knew that I was off at work.

I don't know why. Braxton's had a couple

things that really made me mad. that he was

going through and I couldn't control it.

I wanted to rage on a couple people because

of what they were doing to him. And he kept

telling me, No, dad, it's okay. No, dad,

it's okay. I got it. You know, everything's

gonna work out. Okay, dad, everything's gonna

work out. Okay. And I wanted to rage. And

it kind of made me a little off balance and

off kiltered with things. So I didn't sleep

well last night, went to work, and just a

couple things caught me off guard, and I

snapped at a couple people. When I went back

to my back to back to I took a break and

I went outside and I took my shoes off, stepped

in the grass and started walking around.

And I was like, all right, man, like, yeah,

all right. Grounded yourself. What are we

doing? What am I? What are you doing? Take

a couple breaths. You know, I hadn't even

breathed in the morning and I was I felt

fine. And then just re-grounding myself,

refocusing, I went back in and a couple people

were like, dude, you good, man? Because I

mean, I was hot. Ended up finding out that

Braxton was going to be okay. Everything

turned out the way that he expected it to

turn out. And that cleared some of that.

And then it's all about a matter of like,

okay, When you're in a stressful situation

or you're not yourself, like I'm an angry

Danny, I need to breathe slower, not faster

because when I'm breathing faster, man, I'm

like ready to go. I'm ready to go, you know,

and it's not fight or flight. It is 100%

kill. Yeah. You know, and when that happens,

you are focused, but I'm focused on negative

energy. Yeah. So I have to regroup, reset

myself. This happens a lot to me and probably

to you during training. When you get to fight

or flight in training and when that takes

over and you're like, you come to the top

and you're like, I'm going to rip your arm

off. Yeah. I'm going to, man, I'm going to,

the game is on. Yeah. You never feel good

about it. No, you never walk away going.

I showed you. Yeah. You always have this

like let down at the end that you're like,

shit, shit. Why did I do that? Yeah. But

if you recenter, you refocus, you come to

the top, take a deep breath and like refocus

at the energy. You always walk away like,

yeah i controlled it yeah i controlled that

aggression yeah i controlled the monster

inside because men have a monster inside

yeah there's there's definitely you know

that's there's a darkness there is there's

a dark there's a darkness that we need to

become in control of and violence is real

and every man you know like Maybe not every

man. I don't know the men that I'm around

are capable of violence. We're also capable

of being super big fuckheads to people. I'm

sure when you have a fight with Cammy, you

don't walk away feeling empowered. You walk

away going, shit.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I've never, I've never felt

good about walking away from, from a fight

where I've been in that kind of egoic protecting

myself state. Right. And I think that's,

what's interesting, right? Like as men we've

evolved, um, into a society where we don't

have as many perceived, we have, we have

more perceived threats than we have actual

threats. I think that's where my practice

of jujitsu has really kind of introduced

me to this world. My journey with breathwork

started during the divorce where I was like,

I need to find additional modalities. I was

in therapy, I was in jujitsu, I had done

yoga, and somebody turned me on to a type

of breathwork called neurodynamic breathwork.

And this is some dude out of California developed

this system where you listen to headphones

and he has a breathwork routine that is kind

of getting you on that verge of hyperventilation.

And in conjunction with the music, it's really

weird how your body like it tenses up and

then it just relaxes and releases. And, you

know, I just felt all this different type

of connection. The first time I did his routine,

he literally has you You know, you join a

Zoom meeting, you put on noise-canceling

headphones, you put on a blindfold. When

he starts the session, he takes you through

how to do the breath, like this is the type

of breath you're going to do. And then you

listen to the soundtrack, and you're supposed

to kind of asynchronously take your breath

with the music and it was very interesting

like how my body like Started like my hands

got cramped and if you're looking at the

YouTube They just kind of cramped up like

this. Like I was like your muscles look amazing.

Yeah And then they like at the end the music

slows down and they just released and like

everything relaxed and it's just it was interesting

because I've never been taught how to breathe

like breathing is just something we do and

You know, what's funny is like, um, back

in the day, the, uh, um, so, so our jaws

are the way that they are because we developed

into being mouth breathers. Our, our esophagus

tube used to be a little bit higher, but

because we ended up becoming mouth breathers

drop down, that's why we're, that's why our

esophagus is down lower. Um, but back in

the day, the native Americans, like let's

say their babies started breathing and they

would, and, um, they would be breathing through

their mouth. They would put their hands over

the baby's mouth so that the baby would breathe

through the nose. Interesting. But our teeth

are crooked because we're becoming mouth

breathers. So yeah, it's, it's kind of a,

one of those things where I get worried with

fads, um, taping the mouth and all that stuff.

And you know, putting the, um, the little

sponge in your mouth that like you can bite

on that will make your jaw stronger. It'll

make it look a little bit stronger. Holding

your neck like this, you know, if you're

on YouTube, squeezing your neck so that your,

this part of your jaw, your jowls don't hang

low, which is, With sleep apnea especially,

if your jowls hang low, that's a big indicator

that sleep apnea is probably going to get—because

what happens is all that fat sucks down and

it's like, when you're forgetting to breathe.

Yeah. You know, and which is why you have

to have one of those machines. I can't remember

what they're called. A CPAP machine. Can

you imagine sleeping with that thing? What

the heck, man? Like, yeah, I'm not trying

to sleep with that.

I feel like you've given up on life. i'm

sorry if you have to use one of those things

i know there's like a medical thing but like

there's so much you can do there's so much

my dentist taught me he was the first he

was probably my first person to kind of bring

breathing and he said all the same things

you do you did like right our teeth are crooked

because we don't we don't breathe right like

I've had a significant amount of dental work

done extending the top palate. He was the

one who actually recommended taping my mouth

shut. He didn't say it was something you

have to do forever, but he's like, you've

got to build those muscles. Once you've built

those muscles, then you probably can stop

doing it. There's, you know, we're not taught

how to breathe. We just assume that we know

how it's done.

Well, and, and especially like when you're

training a sport and you're training, like,

um, we just use combat arts and combat to

combat combat martial arts because that's

what we do. Um, but it also goes into like

when we're running, when we were running

last year, we were all like talking about

like keeping our mouth closed while we were

running and seeing who could do the longest,

you know? And, um, Breath work, breath, you're

right. We haven't been taught how to breathe.

More importantly, when you're in the fight

or flight and you're in these, you know,

these aggressive moments and you're scared

and you're nervous, everything, your central

nervous is firing in the wrong way as opposed

to being excited and like really being like,

rah, this is amazing. I'm having so much

fun. You don't need to worry about breathing

because you're like in a different zone.

But when you're scared, Nervous or Life is

on the line. Most likely you are holding

your breath Yeah, most likely you are not

breathing and you're not thinking straight

and you're not Focused so any kind of breath

work should bring you back to some sort of

focus to be able to be like, okay I'm focused.

Mm-hmm I'm going to go drive an hour and

I'm a little tired. I'm going to get focused.

I don't want to be sleeping. I don't want

to fall asleep on the way to work from work.

I don't want to. I want to make sure I'm

focused. I'm about to go train, and there's

a bunch of monsters on the mat. I'm a little

scared. I'm going to get my breath into control,

and I'm going to focus. Okay, what am I going

to work on today? Focus. Okay, I'm not, I'm

scared, I'm scared, I'm scared. Refocus.

I can tell if I'm hyperventilating in the

first, like when we get to hit open mat,

if I'm hyperventilating in the first three

to five rounds, I know it's going to be a

miserable train. Miserable train. It's going

to be a miserable train. I have to slow it

down and I have to play my game and I don't

want to match your energy. I want to play

my game and, and you know, do 20 rounds and

not like feel like I'm out of breath. Sure.

Right. Like I watched some of the black belts,

like I've never seen Nick out of breath.

Never. And did you see him today? Like Mike

and Gustavo were training. Yeah. Quiet. Yeah.

Very quiet. And neither of them got, I'm

going. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they were like,

they could have a conversation. They were

chill because um their their central nervous

system is firing at such a slow rate yeah

they're never scared they're never if an

if an attack is on they address the attack

but it's like okay back to and then when

they talk it's so funny because they're like

Man, jiu-jitsu is this, you know, these scary

dudes you know could kill are the most quiet,

calm, unassuming men. And their level of

violence is probably really high.

Man, and something interesting is the same

about rez dogs on the reservation when I

was on my mission. The dogs that would bark,

those weren't the ones you need to worry

about. It was the quiet ones that sneak up

behind you and bite you in the ass.

Same thing with an argument. Yeah. um anytime

you're arguing with somebody you are you

are in your mind In a fight. Yeah, you know,

you're like a man that this escalates. Yeah,

I'm ready. Yeah, right No, but you were like

just calm down and be like, what is my interest

in this fight? Yeah, what is my interest?

What is my investment in this fight? Yeah,

what is my what am I gonna gain from this?

Am I gonna gain anything from this fight?

And if you're not gonna gain anything from

this fight, maybe what you should do is close

your mouth start breathing through your nose

and think Should I even address this anymore?

Let this person have all the, all the, let

them say whatever they want to say. Let them

get out, get out of their system. Get it

all out of your system while you sit there

with your mouth closed, breathing, going

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and going.

I can't win. I can't win this situation.

I can't win. I'm not going to win. And the

only, the only solace that I'm going to get

is that I'm practicing my breath work in

a very scary, very, um, intense situation.

And at the end of the day, I'm going to walk

away and go, you know, maybe I didn't get

anything from it, but I also didn't Didn't

give anything either. Yeah, you know and

and I think about that with arguments. Um,

I'm guilty of like Going you know what today?

Today is a violence day. Yeah today is a

day of like I'm not taking shit for nobody

Yeah, I'm not taking shit from you and guess

what we're fighting. Yeah, I I never, ever,

ever walk away from that going, I showed

you. I won. Yeah, I won. Right. I always

walk away like, well, you know, those, um,

how many days have you gone without an accident?

And it's like, how many days have you gone

with an argument or felt like shit? And I

wipe that away and I put zero.

So relatable. Yeah. I want, you know, in

a way I kind of want my, well, my, those

people that I'm, I, I'm choosing violence

for, I want them to fear my silence, right?

Like I want them to fear it. Like, oh shit,

he's gone quiet. Yeah. He's not doing anything.

Like he's not reacting. Like, That's how

I, that's when I do feel like I win. And

if I can get into that space, it's great.

You're right. When I, when I rage, whether

it be at my kids or coworkers or whatever,

I've never walked away feeling like I actually,

what I ended up doing is ruminating on it

for the next week and a half. You know what

I mean? And that's even worse. It's even

giving that negative energy. More energy

is, is the worst. Yeah.

I've, I've, uh, I have, Develop the practice

of going. Thank you. Yeah, you know saying

thank you and being like, hey, man, I Shouldn't

have done that when I was younger My level

of violence was usually, you know, yeah this

a lot of a lot of alcohol-fueled Machismo

and also liquid courage. Yeah, it would give

me into trouble and I never felt good about

it. I always had to apologize about it. As

I get older, I can feel myself like getting

more and more calm with things, you know,

and like letting you you know, vent and have

your way and not saying a single thing. And

then just like, it's not my bag to carry.

You know, it's not my, you're upset. It's

cool, man. Like, um, my, I am so lucky, you

know, that my wife is the way that she is.

My wife is like, she knows when I'm having

an off day and usually she'll just sit there

quietly with me. And we won't say a single

thing because she knows that I'm probably

a little aggressive today. And let's say

I snap at Tristan or snap at Braxton, she'll

go, Why are you mad at them? I mean, you're

not, you're, you're, you're, you're projecting

something on them. Do you need to talk? Yeah.

I'm usually like, no, but I'll at least in

my head go, yeah, you're right. They're not

the enemy. Yeah. But, and luckily, you know,

my friends and family are forgiving of that

about me. Um, I've worked really hard with

breathwork. I've worked really hard. I've

worked really hard. I've, I've, um, I'm,

I'm still trying to grow organically. I'm

not using social media. I'll put stuff out

there on social media and it's word of mouth

and still have some openings for five people

that want to like take it in and we'll, we'll

go for a while. We'll, we'll see how things

go. Um, I talked to my friends about it.

I talked to you about it. I talked to Jesse

about it. I explained where I'm coming from

with breathwork and most everybody is like

it. The thing about also about breathwork

is, You can't force, you know, it's, um,

it's, it's like jujitsu, you know, like I

can bring you to class, but you and I are

going to do class differently. And once you,

you enjoy class, you're going to come to

class. Same thing with breathwork. I can

talk to you about breathwork. I can explain

to you, but until you start your breathwork,

um, you start your breathwork, you, you,

you start doing it, you start your journey

down that way. It doesn't make sense until

all of a sudden you're like, oh, I just used

it in a situation that I wasn't prepared

for. Usually I would have chose violence

and I didn't choose violence today. Like

I said, most men, I believe most men have

some level of violence, you know, and those

that can control it, great. Those that can't,

Let's talk about it. Let's find out why you

can't control your anger. Most of the guys

that I train with can control their anger.

You know, how many times have you seen a

fight on the, on the mat? Very rarely. How

many times have you seen a very, very serious

training that you were like, man, those two

are going at it. Yeah. And you're like, somebody's

man. I hope that doesn't, I'd hope that doesn't

escalate to punches. Punches are rarely thrown.

I've never seen in our Academy. I've never

seen a punch. I have seen dudes throw down

and then walk off the mat. Like, face red

every every inch of their body firing and

never you did that was it that that's the

that's as far as they went and you knew like

it was like whoa that got that was that was

serious that was a very serious train you

know and i think that's what's beautiful

about it yeah i mean it for me it was the

somatic of like

falling back into my body and understanding

what is a real threat versus what is a perceived

threat. Our brain is built to solve problems,

and we have to remember that we are in control

of our brain. We control it. It shouldn't

necessarily control us. Learning things like

how to breathe, I think, are super important

to our development. If it's not breathwork,

what I always find interesting – look at

yoga, look at jiu-jitsu, look at scuba diving,

like look at your daily life. There's a lot

of things you can go without. You can go

without with water for like what, you know,

a long time, a long time, right? Food for

like weeks, right? How long can you really

hold your breath for? It's true. And it connects

us all as human. We're all as humans. We're

all sharing it. Male, female, gay, straight,

you know, whatever, black, white, like what?

We all share this breath. Like it's so powerful.

So, so powerful. It is powerful.

So powerful. And I appreciate the people

who have taught me. I appreciate Professor

Mike. He's helped me a lot with my breathwork.

I always ask him questions about it. The

way that he breathes is similar to my practice.

He has a little bit different practice, so

he has great stuff. I do have breathwork

specific for grapplers. That is one that,

you know, you, if you, you're only going

to understand if you grapple. You're literally

going to only understand if you grapple.

Which is so, it's just a different type of

breath.

And it's different scenarios, different positions,

different, different things. It's, um, one

thing to remember is like, let's say you're

getting smashed. It's how to hold your, hold

your rib cage full of air and breathe at

the same time. Right. Because like, I need

to be able to go, hold and squeeze and make

my chest big, make my ribcage big so you're

not smooshing me. Most of the time what happens

when a new person comes on the mat, they,

you know, you like get their exhale all the

way out and then you never let them take

another inhale. You know, you, you know,

you're like, okay, I'm going to never breathe

in again.

You put that pressure on.

That's it. You know, and it's a, it's teaching

people how to, uh, to make their body big

and breathe at the same time, right? And

it's important. It's important. It also carries

into your daily life of like carrying how

you carry yourself, how you walk around.

Truthfully, like you said, breath, breath

is the thing that keeps us together. It's,

um, It's, it's the thing that drives you.

It's the thing that drives me crazy. It's

the thing that, um, it, it, it, it inspires

me and makes me wonder sometimes like how

far I'll be able to take my breath work,

how far I can go. You know, like, can I do,

can I get to the two, three, four, five hours

of breath work? Can I, can I sit there for

five hours? I've done an hour of breath work.

of like, close the door, close my eyes, breath

quick, I've done an hour. And it's, it is

so taxing on the brain because you get done

and you're like, whoa, man, 10, 15 minutes

is what it should be. And that's about all

you need. And, and I promise when you're

a grappler, you'll notice the difference.

Yes. Um, thank you, man.

No, thank you. I mean, I was going to say

like, this has been a late night. We've,

I appreciate you getting, getting, this is

something I've been wanting to do on the

podcast for a long time is having to take

us through your routine. There's more out

there. You've taught it to me. And like it,

this is just an introduction. So if our listeners,

they do want to get ahold of you, how do

they get ahold of you?

I like reading. So my website and, um, me

personally, you can go to, um, DeRay Ocana,

that's my Instagram on there. You can find

my website link. I have you can You can look

on my website. You can you can browse you

there's some articles on there. There's some

There's some things that you can look at

you can book an appointment. You can you

can contact me and there's an email on there

that you're able to contact. Like I said,

for right now, man, I'm still just growing

organically. Um, I'm not going to sell myself

on Instagram yet. Um, I'll put my stuff on

there and show you what I look like. And

it's, it's kind of funny. Like I, people

are always like, you look funny. Like you

look funny when you're doing it. It's true.

Like you're making faces, you're doing all

these things with your face, you're doing

these things with your hands, your feet are

doing things. And, um, it's because you're

not thinking. Yeah. You know, but your, your

body just starts doing things. They're connecting.

So high life breathing, um, D rate auto Kanye.

And then that's at the Instagram and stuff.

And then at park city Jiu Jitsu, you're more

than welcome to come find me. Come look,

come search out for me.

Come take a summer. Can you come, come to

summer camp? What you got going on, man,

man, coming up for you. You got some stuff

going on. We got some stuff going on. We're

going to be, uh, probably the last episode

here in this podcast studio. We're gonna

set up a new studio new new digs. We're gonna

get that worked out in the next couple weeks

excited about that Yeah, I think it's I think

it's time I think it's time the space is

too big here for me and it's this hundred

year old house that I'm in is Starting to

show it's just started. It's just starting

to take it so it's taxing me, right? Yeah,

you know how many deal with floods and you

know, those kind of things I'm just I need

I need to change my you know, people are

leaving my house So it's I need a little

smaller space and sir just going to do something

new.

Yeah. We're going to, uh, we are going to

be taking the bus out in the next couple

of weeks, setting up shop. Uh, Tyler and

I will be out there hopefully on Fridays

or Saturdays, um, in the next couple of weeks,

as things warm up and, um, broadcasting ourselves,

like showing, uh, our friends and family.

some of the things that we're doing. So,

um, we're going to use the bus as a marketing

tool. Um, we've got some ideas to, to, uh,

to continue to, to build this, uh, brand

to build ourselves and to show like exactly

what we're trying to do, especially for men.

Yeah. Um, not that we're excluding women.

Um, it's just that for us, like we, we give,

we want to give a platform to, to men that

are, that need some help and that, you know,

they just want to be part of the tribe.

We just don't ask for it, right? It's a calm

man unity. Calm man unity. Another pun on

the extended community. Yeah, calm and unity.

Yeah, they announced some super fights. Trip

got a super fight announced. We had an opponent

that Just didn't work out, you know, and

I kind of wish it would have but he's gonna

fight Paul From Jeff currents camp so exciting.

Paul is a good dude. Yeah, Jeff current put

on them on the the post He put a really good

comment that I, Jeff, we really appreciate

you. I appreciate you so much. And what he

said was cool. And those two dudes, Paul

and Trip, they are modern day warriors. And

those guys, they have great hearts. They

fight really hard. They want to be out there.

They are trying to compete. They're trying

to do everything the right way. They're humble.

They are monsters on the mat. They're unassuming

until they're assuming. And then then you

better watch it because they're going to

rip your arm off.

Yeah, I'm excited to get out there and see

that. So it's going to be fun. Check it out.

And until the next episode, I appreciate

you guys. Appreciate you. Cheers. Cheers.