Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

That's what I meant to say. That's what I meant to say. How are we? Um,

good. Good. Just, uh, yeah, just had a little

Uh, yeah, we got a good, good topic tonight. You got some, uh, you

got some stories you want to share? Yeah. Or did

Yeah. Let's, uh, so, um, a couple of things on the super fights.

Um, we'd like to just, I've been, uh, man

asking for help, and Tyler's kind of helped me in just

how to approach these kind of things. Asking for money is never an

easy thing, right? But kind of like I was telling one

of them gentlemen I was talking to today, if you're an MMA fan,

you understand what, you know, a layman can

watch MMA and kind of be excited about it, right? When

you're a jiu-jitsu competitor, like most of the

time at jiu-jitsu events, it's

jujitsu people. So they're knowledgeable about

the fights, but it's not like you're getting a lot of accolades, right? So when

we do these promotions, when we do these events and these super fights, we try

to make it so that the fighters make as much money

as possible. And I think we do a really good job of paying black belts,

brown belts, purple belts. I think we do a good job and we're right up there with most

of the events. Kind of

interesting if you look at ADCC and what's going on with ADCC and

CGI. The whole thing about it is, is like Craig

Jones is saying, I want the athletes to make money. I want them to

make more money. And when I listened to

the podcast with Craig Jones and Fiona Davis today, it's like

the women, she was surprised. It was, she

was caught off guard by how much more the men made from her.

And she won, she won the event. Right. So

whenever you're, man, this trying to find money and trying to

do this. It's like, how can I sell it? How can I, how can I explain to

you? Well, usually what I do is I try to find like, you're stoked

on this person, right? And so you're like, oh man, I know this

Which is really, I mean, that's how all sports works, right? That is

sports marketing in a nutshell, right? For sure. It's eyeballs, you

know, and, and I'm, we were, I was talking

about soccer. It worked with some colleagues and I'm like, I'd

much prefer to watch girl soccer or boy soccer. Don't get me wrong. I

want to see Mia Hamm score that game winner and strip

her tarp off. I don't want to see that on the guy's side. But

it unfortunately just comes down to eyeballs. If you don't have the eyeballs,

I get it. I'm not going to make as much money as Gordon because Gordon has more views,

right? And she's talking about views like that's how they, and I'm thinking, man, it's

cool that Craig is doing that. I mean, it's weird to me like that they're doing

on the same weekend, but then he's like, okay, we're, I'm doing it

two days before you can still make the finals. Like, uh, you know, you can still

do things. And, and so that's, that is how I take

the approach first is like, I call people and like, Hey, this

is who's fighting. Are you invested in this person? Yes. Yes.

I'm stoked on that person. And, and, uh, today I finally solidified

all of the fights. I have all the money squared

away for the super fights. And, um, Man,

I hope we can continue to do super fights. I think it's great. I'm

lucky because Tristan is on the card, you know, he's, he's getting a super fight. Um,

but, um, so the, so, so just to,

I'm going to make it a couple, like, this is who's sponsoring the,

the event is scores bar. Uh, Corey's, uh,

Yeah. And like the way he's turned that around, have you been to that backyard patio? It's

it's been a minute probably since last summer I haven't built the he built the

awnings and he has Tables and he was kind of explaining

to me some of the things of why they did the way that they did it So if you get

into a bar fight at that bar, you are, you are excommunicated for

life. You are no longer allowed in that bar. If you cause a

ruckus in that bar, you are no longer invited. So he was telling me

like the first couple of months, all the locals, all

the guys that had been coming there 20 years, kicked out, never allowed back. Lifetime

That's his rule. And the cops were like, thank you. We have not been over

here that much and we are appreciative of you. So great job, Corey.

Our podcast, of course, we had a silent donor who

put up the money for a black belt fight and wanted the podcast

because he's a huge listener and we're appreciative of him. Thank you.

He wanted our podcast to be a part of that. Park

City Academy Baseball Academy, Park City Baseball Academy

is a sponsor for the fights. Blade

HQ, a sponsor for the fight. A

couple families, the Carter family, the Parker family, they're

always great about donating. The

Barnhart family, great about donating stone-daped

coffee and high-life breathing are

part of that whole thing. So I'm

grateful for that. We'll have some banners for

their for their companies. We'll have some

social media posts with their brands. Give them a shout

out. There's going to be there's some other companies that want to be a part of it.

There are like wanting to donate. And so there's some

more fights that may happen that or we'll just donate that money to the camp

and call it good. And it's going to be great, man.

Like I was talking to Mona yesterday and It's,

it's a, it's going to be a fun time. They're going to, they're going to do some cool things

for the, for the, for the comp. And, um, there's going to be some heavy

hitters there. When is the comp night? So the comp is Friday night,

Friday night, Friday the 19th. So we're going to do two sessions and

then, uh, we'll break down the, uh, break down the

mats, put it into the competition arena and, um,

no coaches is what I heard. No coaches. And,

um, um, they're gonna

do some, uh, some broadcasting with some of the, I think

they're going to do a YouTube, like do a YouTube live for

people that can't make it. Um, it's not going to be like a big, where we can have

a lot of people in there because we have so many camp attendees, you know, like we're not going

It's hard to sell that this is only for camp attendees. So how they're hard

It's a big, it's a big, yeah. You're trying to make this a

bonus for these guys flying across the country to come

to park city and learn some Jiu Jitsu from these amazing masters,

you know? And so, um, that was cool today to, to finish that conversation,

to finish that, um, to, to,

to nail that down because I'm usually, it takes

me right up until almost, uh, showtime

to get some, uh, um, to get the sponsorships ironed

out. And, uh, I'm, I've got six weeks still

I can work on other things that I need to. And so, man,

it's cool. I appreciate all the advice and all the help that everybody gives

me. And like the, the, um, the trust that Mike and Mona give

Yeah. I just barely got signed up this week. Yeah. I signed up yesterday

or the day before. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited to

Yeah. So we have that, um, huge

response from last week's podcast. Um, I,

man, I got so many people telling us how, how amazing that

It was such an interesting topic. I, I got a lot of

feedback myself. Um, you know, some good, some bad,

like, I think what's interesting to me about that is that we,

we talked about our need for

benevolence. And I think that that point might have been lost on some

people. Like, know you're capable of

darkness, but be benevolent. Right. And

the benevolence showing through is what people need to respect. Agreed.

If you don't respect my benevolence, then like, that's

I have to show you a different level. Yeah. And like, you

know, part of what, as we go on, like, you know, you're going to give

a little bit more grace and leeway to people knowing that

they see your worst sides. Right. Like you've seen some

of my worst, me at my worst. You've seen me as a friend where

Yeah, no, this doesn't feel good. And vice versa, I've seen the same thing from

you, and we've seen these things, but you're like, man, when

you show grace and you're like, thank you so much for, and

you actually give a thank you, but just because I show it

We're good. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I think that that is still

very much like, do not take that for granted. I may look peaceful,

but I'm definitely the, the, you know, the

Yeah, for sure. And, um, um,

Uh, so man, I really appreciate like

the feedback that we get from like names, Marcus, uh,

Marcus, man, we really appreciate you sharing

our podcast. I hope all the guys on the crew listened to us and, uh,

we're giving you guys a shout out right now because. Thank you guys for listening to

us. Thank you for giving your feedback. Thank you for encouraging Tyler and I to continue

down this path because we have so many more topics and

so many more things to discuss and so many more situations to

be a part of. And we're just barely starting. We're barely

scratching the surface of what we want to ensure

for our common unity or our community and for the men in

our life. Like we're not we're

not like shying away from our women friend because we have

some guests that we plan to have on that are women, but for

the most part, like we don't know how we can't, we can't live in that world because we're

not, we don't see the world

I think it's too, it's just important for us to have these conversations as men.

They've been, they've been, they just have not gotten

the attention that they need. Right. And so, um, you

know, we can appreciate a shared space for, for the

opposite, but I think, as much as women kind

of need their own space, like men need their own space to kind of beat their

drum and, you know, howl at the moon or whatever it

is they got to do. Yeah. You

Yeah. Being a dude is hard. Being a guy is like not easy

because there's so many expectations and so many things that

you're trying to walk and navigate through. And we

just want to ensure that like a safe place for, Hey man,

you know, we, we know where to go. If we're having a rough day, we

know how to, um, sometimes it's

just go to sleep and hope for another day. Yeah. Right. Like

Yeah. I, uh, I wanted to ask, like, you know,

I ruminated a lot. I was, I was texting my mom at

midnight last night and I said, you know, a man's mind is

his, his worst prison and nothing, nothing kills a

man faster than his own thoughts. And like, I've,

I can think of several scenarios and I'd love to ask my former partner,

my future partner, like how often have you stayed up

worried that, you know, you're not providing a big enough house for your

children or you're not providing enough food for your children. And

that's not to disparage them, but like men have, They

have this need, they have this expectation that

not only are they provider anymore, but they're coming home and

they're sharing the child rearing duties with, with their,

their, the missus who's been at home all day. There was definitely

expectations in previous relationships where I'd come home after

working you know, my full-time job, and

I'd have to make sure that I help put dinner on the table, that I help set

the table, that I help clean the house and, and, and, or,

you know, discipline the children. It wasn't kind of this, um,

the expectation of like this forties and fifties, like leave

it to beaver where June, whatever her name is,

is like, she's got dinner on the table as soon as the man walks in and

the house is all tidy and clean. Like, no, we've, we've

evolved now where, you know, There

is this expectation that men are participating in, in

I would say like, even in like Heber, maybe in other places, but

It's right. It's sadly, it is. Unfortunately, that's where we've

progressed to. I don't know whether it's, I don't know whether it's,

I mean, my hunch is that there's like this toxic individualism, right? That

we as a society have prioritized money,

wealth, and what it looks like over You

know the the the alternative which is that kind of at-home single-income

family. I don't know if it's inflation I don't know if it's a myriad

of factors like there's probably more than one. I don't

know if it's the women's Suffrage movement like

and again, this is not a topic. I particularly can speak intelligently about

like women wanting to be equals and I I'm

assuming there's a lot of factors, but you're absolutely right. In this economy

now, man, the average home here in Wasatch County is

something like $800,000. Yeah, crazy. Very

few median income families can afford

I was so lucky because my career provided

the opportunity for Misty to stay home and

be a be

a mom to both the boys. Braxton was older, so he

didn't, you know, when he was younger, she had to work a little bit. And she had,

we came together as, after Braxton was, we

had Braxton, and then we split up, and then we came back together, and so she was used to working, so

she wanted to work, until, like, there were some issues that happened,

and then we were both like, why don't you just stay home? Why don't you just stay home and,

like, take care of the house, and I'll go to work? And I was lucky, man,

like, She was able to do that in both my boys. They,

they like, they'll talk about like how the fact that they, their mom was always

there. If they, you know, when they were cutting weight, she made them lunches,

took them lunches to school every day. If they needed anything

for wrestling tournaments, she did it. And it was an understanding, like,

you know, I, there was no expectation for Danny to do any of those things. Like

if I did him, she was cool about it. But for the most part, she knew that, That

was just what she had to do. And she'll talk sometimes like about how

three or four times a day she's running back and forth from the high school,

you know, and I don't know if Cammy had the same kind of thing, if she

We designed our lifestyle to our best ability. Yeah,

we designed our lifestyle to our best ability. I don't

want to go too deep into it because I don't want to tell her story and I don't, you

know, I've got to do my best to not, include her

in the podcast moving forward. So, um,

I felt like quite often, like I was never enough. Yeah. Like

there was a constant pressure to look like something else.

And I think a lot of guys go through, man, like, don't keep,

like you're saying, like, don't keep it up with the Joneses type thing and the expectation of

like, no, we need that new car. No, we need that bigger house. Why can't

you just make more money? I make more money. Yeah, go ask your boss

And it's interesting too, growing up here in

Utah, there's a lot of family wealth, which

creates kind of the superficial expectations.

And I think that's another very difficult um,

aspect to overcome. And when you, when

you're in Utah and you're a member of the LDS faith, like

your, your network shrinks. And so all

of those things are compounded more. There's like this, this, this real

concept of like Mormon royalty. Yeah. Right. When you've

got, um, generational

family wealth. And this is a concept I'm learning

now, as I realize what I want to give my kids. I

don't want to just give my kids money. That is not family wealth. Giving

my kids the understanding of how to build and

maintain wealth. It's one thing to cut them a check. Here's

a check every month, you go spend it. That's cool, but

that's kind of a cop out. That's kind of a bitch move. No,

I want to teach you, son and or daughter, Here's

how you take what I give you. Maybe there's this check, but it's also attached

to, here's some knowledge. Go deploy

this in this means. Do something with it. Don't just go blow

it on vacations or buying a Range Rover or a bigger

house or a boat or a jet ski. Maybe that's what you wanna do with that, that's

fine, but I want you to understand, hey, you can take

that and you can 10X it or you can use that to build your

Well, and I think like you and I came, we, we had to make our

own livings, right? We had to bust our ass. Right. So I often worry about

providing my boys a life, like my lifestyle, right?

Like I'm, I always tell them like, Hey, this is your mom and I's lifestyle. Like,

don't try to keep up with our lifestyle, you know? And, and

we, before the podcast, we had had a conversation about like,

um, you know, when, when do you like,

when do you, when do you push your kids? Like, do you push your kids out of

the nest? Do you like kick them out of the house? Do you, or do you

like be there for them and understand that there's going

to be some like criticism sometimes from people like, you're like, Hey,

you're being too this, you're being too that. And, and for

me, um, I try

to navigate in those waters of like what I didn't have, what

I've already provided for my kids that I, that I understand that I've provided for

No, I, yeah, I definitely. And I tell my children this,

that my, my ceiling is your floor, right? Like

I want you to trust me enough to talk to me if rent becomes

too expensive, move home. But there are going to be ways that I'm going

to challenge you as a human being. Yeah. And it may not always be easy for me

and it may not always be easy for you, but you can sure

expect that like, if things get desperate, if

things get... You know, you break up with the girl, come

home, you lose the job, come home, rent gets

too expensive, come home, right? But I'm going to force you

or I'm going to push you, not necessarily force you, but I'm going to push you to,

to solve problems on your own. I'll always be a sounding board, but

And I don't have like, Empty pocketbook.

Bottomless. I'm like, man, am I living paycheck to

paycheck right now? Like, you know, I'm trying to retire in a couple of years. I'm trying to

do some entrepreneurship, but for the most part, I'm like, Okay.

Yeah. My, my paid, my checkbook is not your checkbook. Now

there's times when my kids, like, of course, like

my kids, you know, I go on vacation and my kids are there. And

my wife is always like, well, you told them to, you know, I'm covering all

the restaurants. Cause I'm like, well, I don't want them. I have a hard time with

that. We'll go on vacation. And I will get the

bill and if they try to cover the bill, then I'm like, don't you ever do that again?

You know, maybe their contribution needs to be one,

It's tough. It's tough. There's no, the kids don't come with, um,

instruction manuals. And I don't think that like, I

don't, I personally believe that like I, my opinion doesn't

matter with your, your kids and your opinion doesn't matter with my kids.

Like, yes, I want to surround myself with

people. The impetus of our earlier conversation,

like to surround myself by people that are good, like it takes a

village, right? It takes a village to raise these people. And

I mean, I think that's what I clung to in

the LDS church. That's why I went. It was this community of people that

was stable, right? They all seemed to have um,

good jobs. They were well off. They went to college, they were educated.

They, you know, they, they're, they were pretty looking like

they all seem to have it together. I mean, you don't see the skeletons, you don't

see the skeletons, but you know, you want to

surround yourself by people. And sometimes you have to vet those people and

Well, and like the fact of the matter is, is like you and I are so transposed, trans

transparent, right? Like, like, um, which

is more real to me of like, um, I

know we know things about each

other and we know that we have our, we have these things that

we're like, okay, here's where, here's where my line is at.

This is where my line is at. Right. And, Go ahead.

Go ahead. Like if you cross that line, then that's my line. Right. I

get, I see it all the time at my work. Um, these

poor kids that, that their families, like

they're, they're an air traffic controller and we make a good living, but they're the

lowest, they're the lowest paid of their siblings. And

they have to keep up with that, like facade of, of

this brother that's a surgeon, this brother that's a doctor,

this brother that's a Delta pilot that's making 350,000 a

year because of the Delta pilot, you know? And it's like, we're making, I

mean, compared to that kind of thing, they're like, man, I'm poor and

you can't go on the same family vacations. Cause I can't afford the

shit that you're doing, you know? And I think that's

where guys for sure, you

know, get into these like, modes and,

and man, like the one, the one, the scariest

thing that, that to me is the scariest thing is

anger. Anger is the scariest emotion that

a man can have, because there's, frustration

there's emotion there's like all these things but then there's anger

and anger is like uncontrolled yeah it's

usually like i'm angry i'm going

to say do feel be however

i want to be and i'm going to justify it because i'm angry and

it's something that i I have worked really hard. I talked

about this last podcast, um, being an

angry person that when I was younger, being an angry man, when

I was younger, like I have still some nightmares about some of the things that

I've done in my life or, or, or who

I was in my life as an angry man,

you know, and then like, you know, like I said, carrying the, the

ears, the, the look of like a guy that will

get down, you know, and, and then feeding

into that. And man, I

literally just, before I came here, I read an article about two

men that got into a fight after a road rage. It

was two road rage incidences in Utah over the weekend. Both

of them with men that had died. Both men, both of

these road rage instances have

come to the fruition of both men dying. The one that I am not stoked

on, the one that is the most scariest to me is these two

men, one guy cuts the other man off, they chase each other

into a neighborhood, get out and start fighting.

start punching each other. Guy gets punched, falls, hits his

head, goes into a coma. His kids are in

the car, his kids watch this whole thing happen, and they

watch their dad be put into an ambulance. Today,

found out that he died. This man got punched over

a road rage incident and dies.

Yeah, just food for thought.

We're all shitty drivers. Yeah. Yeah. Like nobody out

there is like, yeah, we are all shittier drivers. You know, let's

cut each other some ease and grace. It's such a tragic story,

Who do you feel bad for? Like the guy that these two guys are,

are exchanging punches. Cause that's what they think men are supposed to do because I'm

angry. I'm angry at you. I can't, I can't show you

grace. I can't show you any kind of like, um, Kindness.

Yeah, I can't put myself into your shoes of what you're going through. So

we just start exchanging punches You get the best of me. I fall hit my head now.

You are a murderer. Yeah. Yeah, you know like

man That is scary to me that that we

can get to that point. Yeah, I try my hardest to

drive slow to use my blinker and Um,

you and I were driving last week in my bus and we're going 55 miles

an hour up the hill. Right. And everybody's passing us. And I'm like, just

Just do it. Just do it. I've definitely been guilty of road rage.

I think. there was a different period of time

where I was less connected to my nervous system. Right. And I think that shows those

types of incidents show a connection to your, or

I also have chased, I've chased a

person down, got out of the car and, It's

When you look back on it, there are never instances where you're like, I'm super

proud. I'm so happy I did that. Mark Twain

has a quote. I'm going to butcher it. Anger is

a venom. that

is more dangerous for the container than what it's what it's put

on something to that effect. Yeah. Like we hold on to this anger

and I'm guilty of holding a

lot of resentment and anger. I think that post

my brother passing like I had to

really start facing some anger where I

felt like my my boundaries have been violated

and it's my own fault, but I'm, I'm, I'm choosing to

take that anger out on somebody else and

whether or not that person deserves that anger, um, they're,

they're catching the brunt of it. And again,

it's those instances where you don't feel great.

I can feel the anger sitting heavy in my chest. And I can

feel it is an anchor. It is an anchor. And

what it is, to me, it just feels like what in

It's almost like you feel like, well, nobody's protecting me. Nobody's

sticking up for me. So you know what? I'm going to put this armor

on that is full on battle ready, battle

tested. Let's go. I'm not afraid. You ain't

getting to me, but I've got this sword and I'm going to

start swinging it. Right. Right. And I,

myself as well, like work really hard and, and, and kind of

what we talked about before we started recording, I

know, when i go to a point of

anger and frustration i don't come back very easily you're

right i'm willing to see the end i'm willing

to see the end of this thing and then

i like all of a sudden man it's like boom snapped out

of it and i'm like oh my gosh man i'm kind of

tired i'm kind of like beat up and i'm like man, I don't want

them feelings again. And I want to like, man, I want to give you a hug. I want to like, I

want to be kind again, because I would much rather live in that world

of happiness, smiling, just giggling, telling funny stories.

Then this, I've got this armor on and I know what

this armor is for. This armor is for war. Right. And

it's for battle. And, and like you said, sometimes, uh, the

wrong person catches the blunt of that. And man, like, Could

you imagine, and I'm sure you've done this, I've done this to Misty

before where I'm mad at work, mad

at something, and I come home, and the next thing I know, I'm chewing

her ass, and she's like, I haven't even seen you, what the

hell did I do? Why am I catching this? Why are

Yeah, their collateral damage to our inability

Why couldn't you just tell me that your feelings were hurt? Why

couldn't I just say that? Why couldn't I say my feelings were hurt or I'm upset about this? Why

can't I say that? Why can't I just voice that instead of like, nope,

ready to fight. You know, it's because we're

not built that way. I don't think that we're given those. Maybe

some people are given the idea and man, maybe

what if you see that person as a bitch, like, and this guy's always telling me

it's gonna be sad and that I hurt his feelings. Like, bitch,

I mean, I think too that, Coversely, right?

Like you, if something, if that's the approach they're going to take, right? Like, then

do you really need to be that person's friend? Like, if that's going

to be the response, I'm guessing probably not. I'm

guessing probably not. Right. Like we, we. I

have a small circle of friends on purpose, right? Relationships

have not been a safe space for me particularly. So I

have had to, one, really tune in my boundaries. What

are my boundaries? And be willing

to give some grace. If my boundaries are crossed, are

we communicating solutions

and seeking understanding for those boundaries? Or am I

just projecting my hurt

to make a point? And it's not always easy. In the moment,

it's like you feel it. You feel you feel

it well up, right? Like there's a reason we have this fight or flight system, right?

Like it's necessary, right? Without it, I remember, without it, we may

not get back on the mat. Without it, we may not have evolved as a species,

right? We have to, unfortunately, or not

unfortunately, we've evolved to a species that is like, we've got these

incredibly beautiful brains that allow us

to process so much information and so much nuance. you

know, prior to that evolution, like we just needed it

to, to, to light a fire and hunt food. And, you

know, if we didn't have the fight or flight, we might've starved to death. Right. I got that

urgency to find food, that urgency to procreate. Like now

we have to be more nuanced in seeking to understand. And

it's, it's when I, Stop

that seeking to understand. That's when I start to

perhaps retract in my knowledge. If

I'm not asking the right questions, this is where I have to slow myself

down. This is my fault. This is purely something I

Yeah, and is it worth it? Is it worth

it? Is it worth my attention? Because I'm not the best of like... um

my circle of friends is small as well and usually like if

i don't care like i don't care yeah i don't care about i

if i hurt your feelings i don't care if i don't if i if you if

you're not in my circle of friends and i hurt your feelings doesn't bother

me one way one way or the other and i have to remind myself like that's not a good way

to live right You know, because what if I say something or do something

to somebody who actually puts me in their circle of friends? Maybe

I don't put them in my circle of friends, and I show them that

thing, and they're in a moment of, like, vulnerability. and

I don't give them the correct response and next thing I know that person you

know goes deeper into their hole or goes further into

their body of armor and they they're not built for fighting you

know and and they start to inside that armor

start to beat the shit out of themselves and I'm not able

to to see past my own bullshit, you

know? I think that's where the

anger is the worst thing that happens, because you're like married

It is. It's poisonous, and it's interesting, and I think I can say this with a certain amount

of safety. Growing up with a single mother, as I

know you did and as I did, like, when you look at the statistics, and I

have no substantiating evidence here to really, but

I think if you look at the body of evidence for The men

that get stuck in these youth homes, these men that are

atypically more violent, they tend to grow up with single mothers

because they don't know how to process that anger in a healthy way.

And so it leaks out in very ugly

ways, right? Or perhaps they have a man in

their home who is violent, who knows what

his story was, and that's how that shit gets passed down from generation to

generation. We see it, right? We see, hypothetically

speaking, we see dad beating mom because his dad saw

you know, his dad, his mom, right? And that was acceptable behavior.

Yeah. And not that that's ever acceptable behavior, but that's

Yeah, for sure. Because because there are things that you go, well,

that's what I do in my house. Like, that's, man, that's, well, that's, well, you

know, like, maybe I grew up, I grew up. And so I pass that

on, and I don't even know that I'm passing it on. And as

you, as you grow and as you learn to be better,

like you're always like a work in progress. Like we were talking about last podcast,

we're not teaching, we're learning. And then what we're doing is we're, we're

teaching by example. We're like trying to strive to, to

be these men that were, that were, um, learning

to be right and changing. And then what we're trying to do is teach

our children the values that we would like, encourage

them to be around people with the same values or maybe like different values

that you're like, Hey, I want you to like, I like that about you. So

I'm a cool with you hanging out with my kids or I don't like you hanging out.

I think that's interesting and like very, you know, there's a saying those that, those

that can't teach. Right. Like, I think that's the

thing that's the, that is like the, pitfall

of teaching, right? And you said this in, I think the last episode that

like, can you teach somebody when you, when you don't

really know, right? Like, and in very few circumstances, and

I'm thinking sports specifically, right? Can

I, can I teach something to somebody, right? Like in

lacrosse, I can show you the proper mechanics to throw

the lacrosse ball. In wrestling, I can teach you the proper mechanics

to Shoot a double leg takedown.

Same with jiu-jitsu, same with math, same with science. Very

rarely as fathers should we be

teaching, but perhaps teaching our sons how

to be curious and how to ask the right questions. Because

when I ask the right questions and I teach them

to be curious, I teach my son to be curious or my daughters to

be curious, then they seek for understanding rather than

to be understood. And I think

that need to be understood, you know,

can so very easily be triggered by that anger or

that self-protection. I certainly wasn't

Well, and let's say, you know, like your kids

come to you with something that you're like, yeah, I'm not cool with that. And

you, you shun them or you push that off. And now they're like,

well, this was important to me. And, and like I said, maybe it's, maybe we

don't know why it was important to them, but it just caught them off guard. We don't know what they're going

through either. Right. Right. Our, our kids are little, little, just little

Oh, absolutely. You know? Right. And the clones, there's a reason they're

Right. And we don't know what they're going through. So like, you know, I,

I, I know that I've, that I'm pretty, um, high

expectations of my children and children around me, you know,

like, um, look them in the eye and

have a conversation with them, show them some, show them that

you're interested in what they're talking about. Like you said, like, be curious, like be curious. Um,

but. also want to be like, they

come to me with something. It's upsetting. And

man, if I push that away, if I tell them right now, man, deal with

Suck it up. And they're like, I don't know how. And now they go into

their armor. Maybe they had their armor on at that point. They can take

the armor off and give it to me because I can share some of the burden.

Oh, absolutely. Like what we do in jujitsu. We share

some of each other's burden. Right. You know, sometimes we share like good

moments, bad moments, but sometimes we share, but a lot of times we're sharing, sharing

Yeah, no, I think you're absolutely right, right? Being emotionally mature enough,

knowing when you can be curious and when your curiosity will

rub off on your children. Man, this reminds me of this story, like I

burnt a grilled cheese sandwich once when Cozy was like, two.

And now to this day, she's 11 years old. That Don't

Don't burn that girl cheese. So funny. Don't burn it. Yeah. Don't burn it.

So funny. Every time I'm like, you're 11 years old. I burned it once

back in the day. Right? That's what she remembers. Yeah. That's what she

remembers. They record this stuff. And so we teach, we

And how to deal with anger. Yeah, how to deal with those emotions that are scary,

those emotions, because like, it's easy to deal with happiness. Like

everybody can be happy together. Like your man, you're stoked on something happens good

for your children, you know, and you're like, man, I'm stoked on that. They come to

you with an angry thing. And you're like, man, I don't even know how I

would deal with that. Yeah. And now you're like, okay, this is how I

would deal with it. Sometimes you knock it out of the park sometimes. Man,

you strike out and you're like, this, man, we failed a bunch, but

you know what? We failed. We're not going to give up. We're

going to come back to this thing again. We're going to circle back like how you always talk about. We're

going to circle back. We're going to let this lie for a moment. We're going to circle

back. We're going to talk about it again. We're going to give it some time to

heal a little bit. And we're not going to, um,

We're not going to dwell on it. We're not going to just keep chipping at it because we

want to see some more of the scar and some more of that blood from

the scab. Right. And, um, it's like, you're seeing into

my soul. Well, and like, that's the thing of some of

the things that even you personally are going through that, that we're, you

and I happen to learn to navigate because we don't want to make it

worse for, um, you. Right. And

we also don't want to give fuel to make it worse. Right.

Right. When you keep replaying the narrative, and this is what

I'm learning, when you keep replaying the narrative, you're giving power

to that story. I was just listening to this. Theo Vaughn and

Tony Robbins, look it up. They do a 20-minute session

together, and it's just so cool because Tony Robbins

frames it very well. When we give energy

to these stories, we give it power, right? When we

put our thoughts there, therein lies the power that creates our

reality. And so, you

know, I personally want to be curious enough about

the anger that I'm able to expunge

the sick, if you will, like an infected wound, right? I

want all of the nasty, you

know, staff to come out and like, whatever it is, I want to purify

it. and sit with it long enough, but it's painful.

Yeah. And once, um, you know,

and our audience and our friends who listen to this, who are again,

like solid, you know, consistent listeners, and they listen

to each podcast as we go on and we, we

tell our own version of these stories and they put their own spin on it

and their own like what they're going through in

this moment, and they can resonate with what we're talking about. And

then you go, okay, well, what do I want to, how can

I, how can I get better? How can I, how can

I see through this anger? And a lot of it is, is Remembering

that what you're going through is what you're going through. Yeah,

you know not I don't have to like personalize and

try to feel how Tyler's feeling right right what I need to know

is like what you're going through is what you're going through and

Maybe it's just a just sitting around hanging out not

talking about it. Maybe it is talking about it. Maybe it's Taking

that feeling balling it up giving

it away to somebody. Let them carry the burden for a little while. Let them

Yeah. And this is one thing I appreciate about you and our sauna

sessions is that you'll often ask like, do you want solutions or

do you want me to just listen? Yeah. Same with you. And

I think that like, there is

some, there is some benefit to like sharing your story and just getting out,

acknowledging it, right. Acknowledge it, acknowledge that it happened, acknowledge

that you were hurt, acknowledge that you failed

and, and realize that like one failure

is just your first attempt at learning. Yeah. Right. Like we can spin

failure into something positive. It's,

it's going to take work. It's going to take putting those puzzle pieces together. And

dealing not like Not inflicting more

pain on yourself. No, but like it's gonna be painful changing that

whole thing Changing that narrative is gonna suck in your brain for a little while.

You may have to sit some lonely nights Up

trying to figure out how this world is gonna get How

you can see the world through crystal colored glasses again, you

know, I'm in colored glasses, but for the most part I If

we hold on to this anger, if we choose to hold

on to this anger, it could be the end of us. You know, these two men, these

two men again, these two men that had this road rage incident,

and all of us, every single one of you can think of a moment that

you've had a situation where you, man, I'm gonna punch that person

in the face. That person falls on the ground, hits their head, they die. You've

just taken that person's life. Two lives ruined. Two lives ruined. One

ended and one ruined. Gosh, man, like, What are

their kids gonna go through? Both sides, what are they gonna go through?

And how can we become better as a community or

as a society where we're like, hey man, I

just like the color of your eyes. I wasn't trying to cause trouble. Sorry.

You know, if you come in my personal space, I have some things I need to take

care of. Last night we did the coolest class, the

coolest class that I've been at. And it was scenarios of

people being like aggressive to you and how, how the

self-defense actually works in that environment. It

was, It was really cool. Cause Corey and I were both like,

this is insane. This is crazy. Cause this is how it works. Practically.

Dude, that's cool. It was really cool. I did something like that for, um,

in back in Colorado, they, and it's like an actual, this

Navy SEAL taught it. His name was Jimmy. He, he, um,

literally they put you in a box and they put you in a hood. Like

they put a hood over your head and they pull up the hood and you now have

to respond to the scenario that's happening. And this

is primarily for first, you know, self-defense. So

you have simulation. So you have actual live rounds or like light paint

rounds that are simulation and you

have to assess the situation. One time it's just a guy asking for,

you know, directions on a map. One other time

it's a guy like with a knife that just like is yelling at you and you're like, ah, you

gotta like, and, It was one of

the most intense trainings I've ever been through. I could just, it

just, it completely ruptured my whole nervous system. It shook it

to its, its core because it's like there's scenarios you

Yeah. It was, it was like a little like

brain tiring because you're trying to remember what

move to do in this instance. And then like a couple, somebody said,

well, what if they do this? And Mike was like, well, you know, it's a

different scenario. I got to do this. And you're like, man, do

I know what to do when shit

hits the fan, right? And so when you're practicing, man,

you can practice like, okay, I'm angry, I'm angry right

now, you can practice how to calm yourself down, like you can breathe, you

can, you can find grace, you can find

I love you. Yeah. Don't forget. I love you. Don't forget. We're on the same fucking team,

man. I get you're pissed off, but don't fucking forget. We're on the same

No, and that's, I mean, that's the thing that you just said

it competence, right? Like since I joined jujitsu, I

have some competence in my skills, right? Like I

don't need to pick a fight. Yeah. I don't need to pick a fight. If chances

are, if we are in an aggressive situation, I

don't need to pick a fight. I'm seeing through you. I'm going to walk away. I'm seeing

through you. I'm like four or five steps ahead of the

situation. I know what's going on. And now

at this point, it's just me controlling what's

coming out of my mouth. Not to escalate the situation.

Because trust me, I would love to test my skill.

That's why I compete. That's why I go to the gym. But

no, I am in control. I have that benevolence. And,

and, and I don't, because I have the competence, I

I don't need to posture. I can just walk away. Sorry, man. And

you know, after that, after we did that thing, then we

did, um, So a shark tank

is what it's called. Do you remember when we did that? So, and I, the

people there last night were Adam, Kenny, Nate,

and Henry, the little, the younger kid. I don't know

that I know Henry. The little blonde kid in Lehigh, the little tough kid. He's 15, 16 years

old, but he's built like a brick. And then me, right?

And I'm like, oh my gosh, how am I going to survive with

all these guys that are bigger than me? And I

was like, okay man, so what I thought to myself was, fight

strategically. Maybe my fight, Mike had talked

about this, maybe my fight isn't to win the battle, because sometimes I get

stuck in that thing, right? We're like, are you trying to win this fight? Are

you trying to win this fight? Maybe we're just not winning, maybe we're just talking. Yeah.

Right. And so I thought like, okay, strategically, how

am I going to fight each one of them? And I quickly like assessed, how am I going to fight

each one? And I was like, okay, do not waver. Do not

waver. If you see an opportunity. Competence. Let's go.

Let's, let's find it. Right. And so putting

that into perspective for how you can do it with anger is

like, okay, man, can you deal with it right then? Is

this person or is this person, somebody that are willing to like,

willing to what, what if, what if things escalate and

you're both fighting for something that just means nothing. Right.

I didn't use my blinker. Right. Sorry. What if I just said, sorry,

I just said sorry to you instead of like, man, no,

I'm fighting for what I want to fight for. What if I just said, sorry, what if

I just was like, all right, Sorry, I'm going to go to

training tomorrow. I'm going to get a good training and I'll, and

then it'll get out of my system. Right. And how you

teach your children, that is the same thing. Like to just be like, is this

fight, is this worth fight worth fighting? Is it, is it worth it?

If it's worth it. Okay, cool. Because again, then guess what? The relationship

Right. I'll fight for you, but I won't fight over you. That's

my philosophy. That's my philosophy right there. You want to know if

it's a threat or not, like I won't fight over

you. I'll fight for you. Yeah, for sure. And if, if, if, and if,

I'm seeing right through you. Yeah. Going through there. And, and it's

a, it's a work in progress, right? Like, you know, we want to be. organic

and continue to make this the

evolution of things working on. And I

appreciated my friend telling me,

hey, you should talk about this. And then you

know, I'd like to just, Micah, I appreciate you. Micah, I know you're going to be listening. And

he was the one that was telling me about the, you know, the road rage thing. And then I had

seen the road rage incidents and then the anger and how to deal with anger

and how we, we, we process it. Cause I don't know, like,

I'm not, I'm definitely not an instructor of how to process anger.

I'm a learner. I'm a, I'm a follower of my

discipline. I'm a follower of my, of who I

am as a person, you know, and knowing that like

some fights are just not worth it. Yeah. And I also know

that, uh, I'm guilty of, you

know, escalating to a point where I'm like, damn it. Did

Well, and that's, I mean, that's, that's our ego, right? That's our ego. And,

and when we, Because I

think we all are, I'm certainly no different, right? Like there's this need,

this instinctual need to protect yourself. And

we have to fool our own reptilian brain when

we feel like we need to protect ourself. And on some of these scenarios, we're

Everything in our body is telling us that it is Yeah, you

get out there you get out of your car with some guy that you don't know And now you are

actually in a life-or-death situation like right. It wasn't necessary.

I'll tell you what if my kids are in my car. I'm not pulling over no

I'll pull into the fire station. That's what I think. I'll pull into the

police department. I'll pull into a police department, a fire station. Dude, I am, everything

Yeah, I'm trying my hardest to be like, no man, it's cool, wave,

Position over submission. Agreed. Right, that's classic, classic.

Yeah, I'm not pulling into a neighborhood and squaring off with you, because I don't know, man.

I would just implore everybody, man, like take that shit seriously. Like

right now, especially, you know, it's getting hot,

summer, hot. Yeah. Go and enjoy your family. Go out and like bust

your ass, work your asses off, but then man, go enjoy your family. The

people around you, make sure that you have the right people around you. Make sure you have the right

tribe around you. If people are encouraging that kind of bullshit, that alpha

male aggressive, I'm tougher than you because I'm

look like this and I'm built like this. Like, man, that's a facade. Yeah. Like,

Yeah. Right. Watch some monster come in there and kick the shit out of all of

Hey, well, you know, I have, I

have faith in the academy. I have faith in the academy. There's

always, there's always going to be somebody. Yeah, for sure. It

doesn't matter how big you are, but like, it's true. Like

I've been that I've felt that need to posture. We

felt that need to posture. It generally comes from the weakest, the weakest parts

of me, the most insecure parts of me, the

And it's summertime. We're working, uh, we're working, staying

home, mom. Uh, let's see, sat in the river with Jesse today.

Nice. Yeah. I ran into him at the river. So got to congratulate

Congratulations, Jesse. He showed me a picture yesterday. That was so cool. Such a,

Uh, yeah, he was, he was telling, telling me the story and I was down the ladder 20 times

or some shit like that. He, he didn't, he, I like, we kind of talked about

it a little bit and then, um, You

know, those are the kind of fires, like that kind of fire, like

that makes you want to be a firefighter. You know what I mean? Like every

once in a while you'll get one that you're just like. That's it. That's why

I did it. That's why I did it. Yeah. And for him, that was like one of

those. Yeah. So yeah, just a

training. Um, I'm, I'm, I

made some changes to my schedule at the rink. I, I've decided to

just cut my hours in general. Um, we are hiring. If

you're looking for some extra cash, come

cool. Come make some ice. Maybe you'll go to the Olympics. Maybe. Yeah.

Maybe you'll work in the show. Maybe you'll go to the show. Yeah.

Um, I just need, I need to reprioritize

Um, yeah. So I cut my hours at the rink. Um,

I'm trying to work on myself a little bit more. It's hot out there floating the river.

Um, Yeah, yeah, you can train a little bit more trying to train a

Yeah, my kids are out of school So, you know, I want to make sure that we're

doing fun things I don't know. I got this buddy. Who's

got a boss. We were supposed to go So

I mean just trying to get out and get

outside and so the next so by this one

we come in we'll do this one and

We will not have done the Father's Day. So you'll have on

the next one, we'll be able to talk about your going out to

Yeah. I'm heading out to Colorado for a week to do the Celebration of

Life for Nick. Super excited about that. I'm going to

MC. I heard. I've got to figure that out.

It'll be a good turnout, man. We've already got 200 plus people registered.

What? Yeah. So we've got a big venue planned.

Um, well, that'll be like a combination of

things, you know, it'll be tough and you guys will rally around each other and

around the boys and, and Casey. Um, good

man. Like, uh, yeah. So, and then you've got stuff coming up. Yeah. We leave

to Colorado on, um, Thursday

no Friday. We're going out to Grand Junction to see Cody Jinx is

my Cody Jinx hat Independent as fuck. That's what it says.

I'm so stoked on it and Yeah,

man, like just trying to wrap up summer camp making

sure I cover all my bases on that The

bus man, we pulled all the inside out of the bus so

good looking on it I'm so lucky that I got that thing man. It's like

such good condition yeah, so Doing

I think I have the paddle fest off. I don't know if

I would like to, I've got a, that's one of the things I'm like, I put

it on my calendar. Yeah. I just switched everything

on the ice rink. So like, I'm like, okay, now I get to go back and backfill. So

Shout out to Trenton park city. So if you're looking for a, To

do any kind of stand up paddle boarding, they're

on Deer Valley Resort, right

on the base of Deer Valley. So if you go up to Deer Valley in Park City, there's

a little man-made lake there with

a beach and they rent out paddle boards. It's cool. You're

always over there listening to reggae music and they have

one boards over there and it's kind of cool. So shout out Trent and

Carla. Yeah, man, just

try to keep growing this

whole platform. I'm stoked when I get people

telling us that they listen to us all consistently and how

excited they are for that. Train a

lot and hopefully get these guys ready for the fights. That's the goal right

Yeah, try to hit as much training as possible. Cool, man. Hey, thank you. Thank you.

Appreciate you. Appreciate your friendship. Appreciate your honesty. Yeah. Same.

Appreciate your mentorship, man. Same. Wouldn't be the same person without you.