Beyond the Grind: Prioritizing What Truly Matters
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Tyler:Yeah. How are we feeling? Good. You just got done with training?
Danny:I did. Yeah. I went to, training. I've been training the last couple of weeks besides when I went to Montana. I've been hitting regularly, like, 4 to 5 nights or, you know, at least 4 to 5 training days a week, and, some days you feel it.
Danny:Like, today, I kinda felt it. Didn't get a warm up in because I wasn't able to make it to class.
Tyler:Yeah. I
Danny:went straight to training
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Which I hate doing because kinda feels like you're a little behind. You have to, like, take the first couple of rounds to to get your body going. And if you, by chance, start with somebody that's already ready to go, it's like It
Tyler:was that class to kinda get that warm up going.
Danny:Yeah. And so I was in prevent mode the entire time. There was a drop in purple belt. He'd been there before, I guess, but I I don't remember him. And he was small, which is always fun because I'm always excited when there's smaller guys there that are, higher belts that, you know, you can kinda test your skills on Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. The waters. Yeah. And he was warmed up, and he was he seen me, and he probably thought the same thing like, oh, man, a, smaller brown belt that I can try
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:You know, to go at. And, he did.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:He did. He went a 100% at me, which was actually fun because, you know, it takes you back to that first, what your first job is, you know, to stay healthy Yes. Yes. Yes. And to be safe.
Danny:Mhmm. And then it's like, hey. Don't get tapped. Right?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And find opportunity. And and, unfortunately, like, the 1st round opportunity didn't show up. So I was just Yeah. Playing in the waters of, hey. Don't get hurt.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Look for opportunity. Don't get hurt. Look for opportunity. Don't get hurt.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And, that's always fun to remind yourself that, don't don't move on because potentially get hurt. You know?
Tyler:Oh, yeah. Totally. Totally. I totally get it. Yeah.
Tyler:My training schedule's been a bit a bit wonky. Right? Like, it's been the last few weeks the kids going back to school. My daughter's getting ready to go back to college, and so I've been making a lot of excuses to to hang out with them since I know it's gonna change. And so
Danny:Yeah. It's gonna be and and you like you said before, you don't have them full time. Yeah. So that's hard because Yeah. In betweens, you know, you're like, oh, I have all these intentions, and then the in betweens, you're trying to catch up on all the other life stuff.
Tyler:Right.
Danny:And then here they come the next week.
Tyler:You're, yeah, you're absolutely right. So especially in the summertime, it's, like, hard to have a routine.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:Right? Like and I think routine is important for me, and I it'll be great. Like, next Monday, they start school, but they're not with me. So, I'm like kind of excited cause I'm like, okay, I can reset.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:They'll, you know, get better into my routine. I know, I know what I'll be doing now. I can get back into training my, my 2 or 3 nights a week. Yeah. And, Yeah, just, just kind of get back to it.
Tyler:Like, you make a lot of excuses during the summer because the weather's nice or people aren't at the gym. You know, you're probably having a 1 or 2, too many drinks throughout the night. Like, so that's like a good point. Maybe a good topic we tackle tonight. Like, how do you stay motivated when the motivation's not there?
Danny:Yeah. I think, like, for me, part of motivation is, you know well, I mean and I'm in such a weird I'm in such a different part of the journey. Right? Like Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:And even especially in life, like, I don't have kids going to school. I don't have, I don't have, you know, Misty and I are pretty much empty nesters. So I'm, like, kind of in a different a a different level of of where I'm at in my journey. Right? But I remember when the kids would go to school, how much chaos that would cause Yeah.
Danny:School shopping, clothes shopping Yeah. Shoe shopping. I was in charge of the shoe shopping
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:To make sure the boys had good shoes and that they had clean underwear
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:That they got haircuts. You know, it's it's funny we talk about it because Tristan has long hair. You know? But, the longest time Misty was like, no. You get your haircut every you get your haircut a certain way, and
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Sometimes she would go with the boys and be like Make sure it gets cut. You cut your hair, you know, and it was like, she wanted that she wanted them to look presentable all the time. Right? But there's there is that, you have so much going on that, the the the disrupts your routine to keep a routine.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And it does feel, like, chaotic sometimes. Yeah. Right? And, so, like, when for me, I always remembered, like, to, prioritize things.
Tyler:Yeah. I would say from my observation of you, like, jujitsu from since I've known you, like, jujitsu for you as a non negotiable
Danny:non negotiable.
Tyler:And I think I'm getting there. I'm like, obviously it's hard for me to be there. Like it's new in my life. It's 3 and 3 years in. Right.
Tyler:So maintaining consistency is just
Danny:for sure.
Tyler:That is, that is a priority in and of itself.
Danny:I think that's, like, for everybody, especially in that first part of their journey is Yeah. Especially because, like, you know, you're going to
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Go there and, you know, you're It's a combat. Fighting. Yeah. It's combat. Combat.
Danny:And, yeah, I I I'm lucky because for the longest time, like, I've always been, like, if I'm doing this, this is you know, it isn't negotiable. And and I do take nights that I do you know, when I was younger, when I was coaching, so I would coach and then do jiu jitsu sometimes. So I would coach. I would come home from work, go straight to coaching
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Leave coaching, go straight to jujitsu, come home at 10 o'clock at night, and then do the same thing over 4 or 5 days a week. Yeah.
Tyler:You
Danny:know? And and, man, my wife was so so patient with me in those early years because I was so excited about jiu jitsu.
Tyler:Yeah. That's gotta be a real blessing to have somebody that supports you like that. Right? And but I think at the same time, like, as a man, we need to be drawn into into our routine. For sure.
Danny:And
Tyler:we need to to lead through our routine and have direction through our routine. And, there's definitely been points in my life where I've had, I've always had a pretty good routine. Unfortunately, it hasn't been prioritized well. Sure. I've always prioritized probably work.
Tyler:You know, you get up, you make that commute, you commute to the Valley. So I, that was my life. Right. Like I'd get up, I'd commute. And there was so much I was sacrificing for myself because I, I had, I just had my priorities.
Tyler:Weren't straight. My priority was go make money. And I thought that that's what was my value for so long. And so as I've gone through this last journey last couple of years, I've had to, like, really say, okay, I'm my priority. I really would like jujitsu to be a nonnegotiable for me.
Tyler:I I think I I think I do a pretty good job. I try to cut myself a little bit of slack. I know I make excuses more than I should, but I I really do love it. I really do love it.
Danny:Yeah. I think, like, finding your like, first of all, finding a why Yeah. For a guy for a man. Like, most of the time, it's like most of the time, it is, like, job. Yeah.
Danny:Like, for our generation, especially, like, it was it my my personal path has always been, like, career. I was talking to Braxton today, and I was telling him, you know, I've I've made mistakes, but I've always been able to, like like, let's say it's a a financial mistake, then I always was like a paycheck. Here comes a paycheck. Good to go.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:But I always I did prioritize, like, my career very early on. Yeah. Like, I I was like, I'm gonna get this get to this point, and I'm going to really, really work really hard. And, I I think that's part of our generation, which I struggle with with my boys. Yeah.
Danny:Right? Telling them, like, not being too much overbearing of, like, you need to find a career. You need to do this. You need to do that. And and then reminding myself, like, that's that's not the way their generation works.
Danny:Right?
Tyler:No. I mean, it's weird that we have these we like, the concept of do what you love and you never work a day
Danny:in your life. Right? Like Yeah.
Tyler:We have this generation of I've got my own thoughts on this. Like, I've I've, I was writing the other, the other morning of my journal. Like we have this generation of that's really capitalized on like doing what they love, right? Like the, the, the internet has allowed people to create content in a way in a, in a micro content environment that allows people to do what they love at the same time. And maybe this is a tangent or a rabbit hole, but like we've created a lot of, a lot of young people who have no real sense of, of, of like what's wrong.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:Like, like morally kind of, kind of lost kind of narcissistic. Like there's no, no sense of consequence. Right? Like you watch some of these people, like just being like the prank people. Right?
Tyler:Like they, they there's like no consequence. And we, and we have terms for like gaslighting ourselves and like, there's no real consequence and we see it. We see it a lot. And I, and I hate to say it. I don't want to speak out of turn here.
Tyler:We see it with a lot of women, right? A lot of women that have only fans pages or want to be a sex worker or want to like post bikini pictures. Right. And they, they, they, they've been told because of internet dating because of feminism, because, you know, men are not leading from their masculine, that, that these type of things are, are okay. And if they feel any bit of uncomfort about it, they're able to kind of they're able to kind of, like, you know
Danny:Well, they could justify
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:They justify it. Right? Yeah. Like, well, I'm I'm making this amount of money. Right.
Danny:And I could not make this amount of money anywhere else. Right. Right? So I'm willing to to to push these limits or to accept these things about Right. What I'm doing regardless of the consequences.
Danny:With the like, the same thing with, like, that's, I guess, my biggest struggle with social media. Right. You know, my biggest struggle with social media is that you're seeing the the the the best. Right. You're you're not seeing, like, everything else.
Danny:You're not seeing all the hard work. Right. You're not seeing what goes into creating the content.
Tyler:Right.
Danny:But you're seeing, like, the the final product of this. Yeah. Right? So then when I'm, like, making social media stuff, I'm always like, this takes a lot of work.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:Takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of effort, and, I don't have that sit down, make this content that's what I believe is fake. Right. I don't have that in my mind, and I can't I can't justify it where if I was able to, maybe the maybe you could monetize that type of thing. Right?
Danny:My my I monetize hard work. I monetize
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Driving to the valley an hour a day Yeah. Working 8 hours, doing overtime. Like, I I work Yeah. 6 days a week. All my side hustle stuff is hard as work.
Danny:Yeah. Right? It's like it's like networking. Yeah. We we personally, like, our you and I were always, like, we we have things that we're working on separately Mhmm.
Danny:And then we're talking, and we're, like, texting each other. And there's times that I'm, like, man, does he even care what I'm doing? And I'm sure vice versa.
Tyler:Like Yeah.
Danny:Like, it's, like, damn. Danny, are you even there? Are you, like, available? And I'm, like, man, we are, like, we are fully in this fight. Right?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And I see these content creators, and I think, man, they're, like, they're they're just putting this out there of all that they're doing. And because they have a big following, like, everybody buys into it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, what a what a crazy world that we live in Right.
Danny:With that because you want to work hard, and I'm sure they do. Honestly, I think they do.
Tyler:Oh, absolutely. They have whole teams that that help them create this content. Right? It's never it's never just kind of, like, the the talking heads. They do they do work hard.
Tyler:And I think the the benefit is we have this this micro This micro economy of where I can actually get content. I want no gone are the days where I'm like, I'm not watching bachelor anymore with my wife because that's what's on TV. No, I'm curating the content that I wanna bring into my life. But I you see it from your kids, and and and you you have to, like, wonder, what are they bringing in? Right?
Tyler:What are they bringing in?
Danny:Well yeah. And especially, like, you know, my I'm so lucky. My boys are, like, in a such a weird spot. Like, my boys missed all the social media, so they don't do very much social media. But, you know, they both, for all intents and purposes, like, that I I sometimes wonder if they're they they work hard.
Danny:Yeah. They do work hard, but, are they working hard in the right areas? Yeah. Yeah. Area.
Danny:Their routines, you know, I talk to them about routines. Like, we were just talking about, like, routines. Like, this is a routine. This is things that you have to do. You have to make make sure you wake up early.
Danny:That's what I'm working on with Tristan is, like, wake up early. He he has, like, this killer life. Right? He's working hard.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:You know, man, he he he has a business that he earned money on. Yeah. And I think, man, I I have a couple businesses that I haven't made a single dime on. And this kid is may he's making money. You know?
Danny:He's hustling, but he wakes up, like, 10 o'clock at in the morning. Like, dude, you could be, like do you have 3 hours that you could be, like, doing that stuff? And he's like, yeah. It's okay, dad. I'm good, man.
Danny:I'm I'm cool. Like, I'll I'm I'm good. You know? And I'm like, god. I just wanna, like Right.
Danny:Set his alarm for it.
Tyler:I know. My kids got up at 11:30 today, and I'm like, you guys are in for a rude awakening next week.
Danny:Gosh.
Tyler:Like, I was up at 7:30. I was out of bed by something. My alarm went off at 6:30, and I kinda slow rolled out of bed, but I got I got up and was, you know, had my coffee and was at my at my kitchen table ready to do some work
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:By about 7:30. And I'm like, did this 4 or 5 hours went by, and these guys are still sleeping. I'm like, jeez. Yeah. Jeez,
Danny:Louise. What a what a life. Yeah. Like, what a life that we that we're in, this little this this bubble that, you know, you're you're trying to and then I think that's why, like, to me, you know, I know me personally, like, sometimes I'm like, oh, man. I want you there training.
Danny:Like, I'm like, tonight would have been perfect for you to be a training. Right? And I and then then I'm like, man, but it's but your priorities are here, and you got to do these things. Right? And so I'm always, like, on the bubble of encouraging and then being like, hey.
Danny:I'm going to training. Are you in? No. Before, I'd be like, are you sure you're
Tyler:not in?
Danny:You know? Are you I'd I'd be that, like, bad bad, bad devil on the other shoulder.
Tyler:No. No. No. No. No way you're ever that bad devil, but, like, you're definitely one of those people that early on, like, I needed that.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:If if if you were still talking to white belt Tyler, you know, white belt Tyler may not may, you know, may, he may not make it to blue belt. Right. But now blue belt, Tyler is a little bit more dedicated. He's got a little bit more invested,
Danny:little more invested.
Tyler:You know what I mean? And so I, I do appreciate it. I do appreciate the accountability. I think that's one of the best ways to kind of build your routine. Right?
Tyler:You have to, you have to have some non negotiables and you need, you know, we talk about this all the time. You need to surround yourself by men who are going to help hold you accountable, whether it's getting up early and you're doing that with your son. Like I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna start cracking the whip, you know? Yeah. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday this week, I gotta get up and go to corporate meetings this, this week.
Tyler:And I'm like, I don't know who planned this, whoever planned it did not look at the schedule. Cause I'm like, I think St. George all went up to school last week. And so they're like, all these dads that, you know, have wives at home that don't have to do single kid things. Like they they they're completely ignorant of, of the amount of effort some of us single parents have to do.
Tyler:Because I know I'm not the only single parent in, in the, in the, in the org.
Danny:So, yeah.
Tyler:But you know, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Right? Like it's not always pleasant. It's not always pleasant. And that doesn't mean my my non negotiables change.
Tyler:It just means I have to re reprioritize. I've told myself since the divorce that, I would always prioritize my children to be beef before just about anything. And, and sometimes it's healthy prioritization and sometimes it's not healthy prioritization. But I think that there's a lot of single parents out there that would, They would kind of sell their kids down the river just to justify their own kind of toxic behavior. Right?
Tyler:Like if, if my child comes to me and says, Hey, dad, I, I don't really like this. Or I don't really appreciate this. Or I've got you. You're dating this person in your life. I, if I were to, like, go into my ego and start defending myself, like, I'm just muting that child.
Tyler:Like, I'm not allowing them free express expressions. Sure. You know, granted, yes, there's some times where that's maybe not appropriate, but for the most part, at least I need to sit back and seek to understand before I'm understood in in those scenarios. And I know that there are so many, you know, fathers get a bad rap because probably previously, they they they wouldn't do that. They would just they would get in their ego.
Tyler:Yeah. Well, I'm an adult, and you're the kid. And Yeah. You know? Well, I
Danny:think for the longest time also, like, the dads were you know, the dads are seen as, the scapegoats for for things. Right? Like Yeah. Maybe the dads are the reasons why the divorce happened or
Tyler:Right. Yeah.
Danny:Mom, you know, man, especially because we live in Utah, you have these you know, Misty and I weren't always, married, and so we had a kid that we didn't have, like Yeah. When we weren't married, so I had to do things. But, you know, like, for for me, the way that I always felt was, like, a a mom got so much leeway, so much so much people were, like, get making excuses and doing these things for the mom. And I was thinking, man, I'm working hard. Like, I'm I'm working hard, but I think, like, they they are considered, like, the razors.
Danny:They raise the children. Right? The dad goes to work. The mom stays home. That's not the way it works anymore.
Danny:Oh, yeah. You do just as much. You do. You have 50% of of what your children are getting. Yep.
Danny:You get 50%. So, you know, you are doing the best that you can to give them the foundational skills from the father's side as you possibly And because you only have them every other week, you have to, like, really put the effort in on that week that you have. And if you get a moment that you give them on that week in between, then you're like, okay. Man, I'm I got I'm not gonna turn that down. Yeah.
Danny:Right? The kids call you and are like, hey, dad. Can you do this? Hey, dad. Can you be here for this?
Danny:Like, yep. Yep. Yep. I'm gonna be there for that.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And, if if and when, you know, a relationship gets in a way, that person now has to, like, be set boundaries, but also be, like, supportive of that. Yeah. And I don't know if that's Yeah. How people are built. No.
Danny:I think the like you said, I think people are selfish. Like, I think that they would be like, woah. Woah. Woah. Tyler, this relationship is what you need to be working on, and your kids are your kids.
Danny:It's fine. Like, you should pass on this. And it's like, woah. Woah. Woah.
Danny:You can't pull me in both directions.
Tyler:Right. I I think that there's, like, well, one, it it depends on the age, the age of your kids.
Danny:Right?
Tyler:Like, I've got kind of a a mix of all with cozy being my most, I'd feel a little bit better if, if Ben had his driver's license and had a little bit more going, but we're working on some issues with, with him specifically just being that teenage boy and, and, and like practice, like I'm telling him I'm trying to teach him now that now is when you practice. Right. This this whatever your whatever routine you're setting up, whatever you're doing in school, the school does not like you're learning some good skills in schools. You're learning how to be a critical thinker. You're learning math skills.
Tyler:You're learning communication and how to work with other people. But really what you are doing from a day in, day out scenario is you're learning to do that routine.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:And and whether that
Danny:routine is
Tyler:healthy or not, yeah, you're getting up. You're showing up for yourself. You're studying for yourself. You know, you're picking the classes that you want to take. If you don't like the subjects, like, yes, there's some core content you need to learn.
Tyler:But for the most part, they have a lot of flexibility, especially here in Wasatch to, to learn a trade, to, to to explore opportunities. And if they're not taking advantage of it, like, I failed as a parent to show them that they can Yeah.
Danny:I agree.
Tyler:That they can take advantage of it. Their life is theirs to own. I agree.
Danny:Yeah. I agree. And and and I think that's, like, building the routine starts with I I agree with you. I think, like, that's what school does is it it helps teach your routine. It help teaches, accountability.
Tyler:Right.
Danny:Right. It helps teach you if I'm struggling to go and ask for help.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:I was talking to my friend today and just a little bit off topic, but we were talking about how, men of our generation, you know, we pretend a lot, like, how tough we are. And Yeah. You know, like, I don't need any help. I don't need No. Yeah.
Danny:Like, hey, Tyler. You doing the good today? Yep. I'm fine. Yep.
Danny:And and I'm like, I can hear in your voice. You're not fine. Yeah. Are you cool? Yep.
Danny:I'm good. Yep. Yep. I'm good. And then let's say we train, and all of a sudden, I'm like, woah.
Danny:Yeah. You are not fine. And matter of fact, you're not fine, but but oh, you woah. There's a lot of energy coming in from you. Right?
Danny:Yeah. And let's say you don't have that outlet and some dude just barks at you, and you're like, woah, man. Yeah. What and so let's say I dig, and I'm like, hey, man. Are you okay?
Danny:Yeah. Poof, man. If you catch the dude on the wrong like, a guy on the wrong mindset, he's, like, snapping now because he feels like you're, kind of treating him Yeah. Soft. Right?
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, like, that is a thing that that men do. Oh, absolutely. This this facade in this front of tough guy Mhmm.
Danny:Because that's what you think you're supposed to do. Oh, yeah. Like we said before, like, we I mean, I want my boys to have, like, some some some assertiveness, but I want them to also be like, no. I'm not okay. No.
Danny:I'm not okay. Yeah. I need help.
Tyler:No. No one like, what's the what's the what's the country song? No one to hold them? No one else?
Danny:No one to show them.
Tyler:It's so interesting. I had a very like, at the barbecue on Sunday, I had a very candid conversation with another one of the members, and I was really shocked at, like, how he was like, nope. Never asked for help. I'll never do it. You'll never hear me asking for help.
Tyler:He was so adamant and I'm like, damn. Like, that's I can't believe that's I mean, it's not healthy. No. It's not healthy because the last thing you wanna do is what's going to happen and or likely to happen is you'll snap at your kids. You'll snap at your wife.
Tyler:You'll snap at some dude that's that's bigger than you. Although I'm I have a hard time believing that in some of these guys we deal with, that'll that'll happen. But, you know, somebody that the road rage incidents we've talked about, you know, they'll pull out a gun or, like, somebody that's a little bit more unhinged than than you.
Danny:Listen. Yeah, man. Like, the the the the rubber band will snap.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Right? Like, you pull on that thing hard enough. Sure. Like, you could pull on it, and it will stay there, but eventually weather and, like, what weather and, like, things start to destroy that weather that rubber band, and it will snap. Yeah.
Danny:You will have some there will eventually be some accountability whether you like it or not. Right? And I and I I when me and my friend were talking, I I was, like, telling him, like, man, like, keep asking. Yeah. Keep asking.
Danny:And he was like, oh my goodness, man. This the he was a little bit, like, had some other interactions with this person and that was, like, where they've kind of gotten to that point of, like, almost, you know, knuckled up. And and and I was like, it's cool. Like, what sometimes what you have to do with people is find the avenue of help. Yeah.
Danny:Right? Somebody's asking for help. Yeah. Like, maybe maybe not in the way that you think. Sure.
Danny:They'll they'll give you an avenue. They'll give you direction of what they need Right. For help. Right? Yeah.
Danny:And me, personally, like, those things that I've developed is to okay. That didn't work. Okay. I'll let you dictate how I can help. I'll I'll listen, and I'll kind of, like I'll find an avenue that we both have in common that you're, like, all of a sudden, you can feel when the guard is dropped.
Danny:Yep. And then the person is, like, all of a sudden telling you something, and you're like, I'm just gonna listen.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And they'll give you some they'll give you hints of where they need help, kids especially. You know, my boys are my boys, where they're at right now, they they want me to believe that they were good. I'm Yeah. I'm good. Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. Like, okay. Cool. And then they'll say something, and I'm like, okay. This they they're needing something.
Danny:Yeah. Right? And and I'll listen. I'll kinda do some prying and, like, not in a dad way. And eventually, we'll get to something that they're that they're struggling with.
Tyler:I'll be like, yeah.
Danny:Oh, okay. And that's what Braxton and I and, the the guy that I was talking with today, he we we found some some ground of where they needed help with this, you know, and and it's just, like, for me, that's that is part of my my my what I what I see my purpose as Yeah. You know, is helping helping find
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:When you need help Yeah. You know, and and your routines, you know, checking on you and being like, hey. How's your breathing? Hey. How's your Yeah.
Danny:How's this? Hey. What's going on in this situation? How do you feel about this? And, sometimes it's like, good.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:You know,
Danny:you get a one word answer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm good.
Danny:And you're like, okay. Cool. They don't wanna okay. Cool. The you know, we'll we'll wait to dive in a little bit later.
Danny:You know? Yeah. And so routines like that, especially with men, and and and by by all intents and purposes, you know, men are you think you put this facade in this false, this falsity of strong, powerful man. And inside, you could be like this wounded child, you know Yeah. Absolutely.
Danny:Where you're like, oh, this
Tyler:is Absolutely.
Danny:This is some of my wounds that I carry.
Tyler:Well, and you have to, but I mean, yeah, I think that it comes down to having the self awareness. Right? Like, have have the self awareness to realize when your routine is out of whack Yeah. Or you're not in control. Yeah.
Tyler:Right? Have the self awareness to understand when your wounded child is is coming out.
Danny:Yeah. And it's like I'm crying for help. You know?
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:I need something like, what was that thing that we talked about before where you're like, why didn't you just say it like that? Why didn't you just I say, you know Yeah. Like, he couldn't have just said it like, help. I need help.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Why can't we just say, yes. I need some help today. Yeah. And I'm struggling today. Well, you know, why do I have to be like, ah, fuck you.
Danny:Blah blah blah blah. And I'm screaming at you, and you're like, woah.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Do you need some help? No? Fuck no. No. And then all of a sudden, you're like, well, yeah.
Danny:Yeah. Here's where I'm struggling today. You're like, okay. You could've just said that, man. Right.
Danny:You know?
Tyler:And those those type of situations, they happen with they happen with everybody.
Danny:Yeah. For sure.
Tyler:And nothing's more nothing's more humbling than going back to your, your, your partner, somebody you should care about. I remember every fight even to this day that I have with, with my former partner, it felt like I had just like swallowed acid, the words, the, the hateful words. Like They just like when you get to thinking about the interaction and you break it down play by play, I'm, I'm very much one of those people. When I was growing up, I used to love to take shit apart. I just had to know how it works.
Danny:Right.
Tyler:And I'm, I still do that. I will still deconstruct every conversation. I'll deconstruct. It just because I want to know how it works. I want to know how I can do better.
Tyler:Like, you know, you say stuff and sometimes I mean to say it, like, sometimes I'm going to say it, not only will I say it, like, I'm gonna say it on my podcast because I'm I stand by what I say. Sure. But there's a lot of times too when I've been in that anger and that they've let that that little child kinda take over and you that that little child is is using my mouth, and that's not necessarily how I feel. Right? And and those type of those type of interactions, whether they're with my kids or with my former partners, like, they felt like like I've choked on battery ass.
Tyler:Right? And and you you want to do better.
Danny:You go into protection mode, like
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Put up the bow the walls, and now you're like, fuck it. I'm saving myself.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. You'd be like, fuck it, man. I'm prevented. Yeah.
Danny:But and to prevent prevent into self prevent self protection. Right. Which for me and, like, we you know, like, both of us with our childhoods and with the early parts of our lives, I did have to protect myself. I did have to, you know, figure out ways. And and sometimes, man, when I was younger, it was not the right ways.
Danny:You know, like you said, I, I I am a very good asshole, not a good fighter. So, like, I'll say something right to the point.
Tyler:Yep.
Danny:And then I'm good. Now 5 seconds later, I'm like, man, I feel like shit that I said that. Yeah. Really? Wanna, like, hug.
Danny:I wanna be, like, nice, and maybe the person that I'm fighting with is, like, yeah. No. No. I'm a good fighter. Yeah.
Danny:Then I'd rather, let's continue this fight. And I'm like, no. I know. I wanna, like let's hug. Let's not be let's I didn't mean what I said.
Danny:And Yeah. It's you know, that's how I that's how I would deal with things. And then so part of, part of, you know, growing and and learning is, like, rescuing yourself. Like Right. Figuring out ways to, like, okay, my routine is not working.
Danny:Mhmm. Okay. My I'm not like you said, like, okay, I'm not going to jujitsu I'm deconstructing this conversation that I had in my past relationship, and and now I feel horrible. Now I feel bad, and now I'm, like, sad, and I'm upset. And now I need to go to sleep.
Danny:Mhmm. Right? Now it's 11 o'clock at night, and I need to go to sleep, and I'm awake because I'm in my mind, and now how do I self rescue? How do I, like Yeah. Pull my own self out of this funk and not carry it to 3, 4 o'clock in the morning.
Danny:Yeah. No. I've I wanna go to sleep, but I'm still thinking about all these other ways and all these other things I should I could've and should've done. How do we self rescue? How do we self, self preserve that as men to, okay, put it away for a minute and fight another day?
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. It's a you've got to escape the cut. For me, it's escaping the cognitive load. Yeah.
Tyler:Because my brain is spinning and my brain is burning as much calories as if I were going into jujitsu. That's right. You know what I mean? And, and what's weird is that my body will feel somewhat physically rested, but my mind will just be exhausted. Yeah.
Tyler:So when I find myself spinning out of control, that monkey mind, that's when I really have to focus on my breath. Sure. I'll focus on the breath work routine that we've worked through, even even in bed. Like, even if I'm just laying there, I just know if I focus on my breath Yeah. That I can start calming that monkey mind.
Tyler:That's what I call it when my mind's just spinning. I need to get back into control.
Danny:Going a 100 miles an hour.
Tyler:Yeah. I have to start telling myself, okay. What are some valued actions that I can do to change this situation? Valued action number 1, especially at night, breathe.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:Breathe. Yeah. Calm that monkey mind. Quiet your mind. If I have to, sometimes I'll put on an audiobook.
Tyler:Sometimes I'll put on a mantra. Sometimes I'll put on a meditation just to kinda snap the the the the cognitive load, and then and then it's like, okay. Then I get into the breath work. Sure. And I've, you know, I've done the I've done breathing until 4 or 5 in the morning, and and and it's taken it's taken that kind of Yeah.
Tyler:What that will ever
Danny:Let's go back a little bit and see, like okay. So before before, can you remember a time when you when you were, like, couldn't,
Tyler:you
Danny:didn't have breath work? Do you know what you would do then?
Tyler:Definitely like music, podcasts. Like, I just stay awake and listen. And I remember my ex wife telling me, like, what are you thinking about over there? She could tell that I'm I'm laying there just, like, spinning, thinking about a conversation. Really?
Tyler:It's and it's it's, it was a strange exchange of energy.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:And we have those kinds of things as those, those exchanges of energy where, you know, I could tell that something was off or she was onto something. And think she definitely could tell, especially when I would, I would spend, I'm definitely a ruminator. Ruminating is one of my, like, I don't particularly appreciate it. Like, I, I love the self awareness where I can deconstruct a conversation and I can say, okay, how can I do better? I need to be able to let that go.
Tyler:Right. Let it, let it go. And so letting it go has definitely been something this, what are we in Q2 of 2024 that I've worked on? Right. Like literally letting it go.
Tyler:Okay. Tyler time to let this go. Yeah. Where is this coming from? What is the root?
Tyler:Okay. You know, if I if I I step it down, okay, this is this is a little Tyler. He's feeling abandoned. He's feeling ashamed. I'm it it generally comes from what I call gas.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:You know, guilt and shame.
Danny:Guilt and shame. Yeah. Gosh, man. What a crazy way to look at it. I yeah.
Danny:I'm yeah, man. When I was in my younger days, same, I would I would think about a situation and how I could have changed that situation and how I could have made that situation better. I'm a talker. Mhmm. You know, I like to talk things through.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:I like to, find okay. Okay. Here's our problem. Let's get to the problem. Let's talk about it.
Danny:Let's Mhmm. Let's let's find out why we feel that way. And my wife and I, when we were younger, we would we would go around in circles because I wanted to get to the bottom of it so I could fix it. Right? Mhmm.
Danny:Because I was like, okay. We can get to the bottom of it. I can fix it. Like Yeah. If you tell me what's wrong, if you tell me like, if you just explain to me what I did or what I said or what happened, then I can fix it.
Danny:Yeah. And she would be
Tyler:like, nope. Nope.
Danny:She and and she's not a talker. Mhmm.
Tyler:That's
Danny:what she is. She tells me her feelings. She she she tells me, you know, there's so many times that my wife will tell me her entire day. Mhmm. Right?
Danny:And I'll be sitting there listening to her, and I'm like, man, focus, Danny. Focus. Don't focus, Danny. Focus. Because if I'm not, then you know, because she'll see, like or I'll say something, and she'll be like, were you even listening to me?
Danny:Yeah. Right? And I've, like, had to focus, but but when we were in fights and when we were, like, in disagreements or when I was wanting to fix a problem, she would be like, it's okay. Yeah. We don't have to talk about this.
Danny:Yeah. We don't have to get to the umpteenth degree Mhmm. Of what is wrong. We don't have to dig up every single freaking thing that we've done to get to the bottom so you can fix this shit. It's okay.
Danny:And I would be like, nope. It's not okay. And I would sit there at night, same thing, like, okay. How can I how can I, you know, word this better so that she doesn't get upset? How can I how can I find out more of why she's upset?
Danny:And it may have been nothing. Yeah. I may have turned it into this crazy thing because of my nitpicking and my picking and picking and picking and picking. That's what she'd always tell me. You're picking, you're picking, you're picking, and I'm like, I'm just trying to fix it.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Right? And so as I got older with that situation, I remember, like, just being, like, okay. Leave it leave her alone. Just just walk away for a minute. Come back.
Danny:Most of the time, she was, like, okay. Cool. I'm back to I'm I'm okay. You know? And I wouldn't have to I wouldn't have to fix anything.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:I would just go give her a hug and, you know, tell her I love her and move on. With my with my trauma, with my dad, and with my the trauma I went with as a kid, I wanted to fight. Yeah. You know? And and what I learned to do then was to pray.
Danny:Mhmm. And I would pray. I would pray, and I would be, like, the first, like, couple of years, I would pray, and I remember, like, praying to a point where, like, sometimes I would start the prayer, and I don't even remember, like, finishing the prayer. But I would fall asleep, and I would feel so much happier with praying. You know?
Danny:And so now even to this day, like, if I'm struggling mentally, I I pray. I I really, like, say prayers a lot. And I and some of it's just could be, like, like, just simple, like, talking to nobody. Yeah. You know, just saying a prayer.
Danny:Yeah. And I and I and I tell people that all the time. It's like, just talk to somebody. Yeah. Talk to somebody.
Danny:Like Yeah. It could be just talking to God. It could be talking to a higher power. It could be talking to your heavenly father. It doesn't matter.
Danny:You know? Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler:Could be
Danny:talking to anybody. You know? And that got me through a lot a lot of, like, bullshit in my head. Yeah. You know?
Danny:And and and I really enjoyed learning that.
Tyler:That's super interesting. In your in your experience, like, as you're going through these, have you ever tried any journaling or anything?
Danny:I did. Yeah. I mean, I've journaled. I just I'm not I don't oh, man. This is so bad.
Danny:I don't I won't sit down Mhmm. And, you know, write. I'll I'll end up sitting down, writing something, and then being, like, kinda move on because I don't have that kind of analytical mind. I don't have that, like, that kind of mind where I can sit down and do that. Yeah.
Danny:But I encourage it if you can. Yeah. I don't. I wish I did. I wish I had that skill set.
Tyler:I've found, like, there's been some benefit. I it's taken me a long time. Like, I grew up fairly dyslexic. I remember being teased incredibly as a kid for, like, spelling stuff wrong or, like, you know, writing my letters backwards.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:And so it, like, actually really made me hate my writing. Oh. And so it's taken me a long time to actually drown, but I do find that, like, occasionally, if I can sit down and I can write some things out
Danny:It's a practice too, Like, it's
Tyler:like it's
Danny:like a it literally is like jujitsu where you have to, like, actually practice it.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying I'm great at it.
Tyler:I'm you know, on your mission, when you're when you serve a mission for the church, the LDS church, they they really, they really want you to journal. And I could, I could, you know, I could probably count on one hand how many journal pages I wrote. Like, it just wasn't something I was so ashamed of my writing and so ashamed. Like I've had to just. In it really kind of caused some perfectionism.
Tyler:Right. So like, if I, if I can't write, like if I can't write correctly, and you know, my vocabulary, like, I can't spell those words. I'm like, I'm like, I'm not doing it. I just wanted to
Danny:say that in normal people's terms.
Tyler:Right? Like, so I just won't I won't do it because I'll feel too ashamed about my writing. I've had to really let go of that shame and guilt and just say, like, no one's reading this but me. It's just for me to get it out.
Danny:Yeah. I think it's a cool skill set because, you know, Jesse always journals. Yeah. Man, he has books and books and books and books and books, like, books. So many books of his journaling.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And and I, like, appreciate what I see, like, you when I see people walking around with, like, with something and, you know, they'll take a moment and write jot down something and jot down a note or something. Yeah. We had a remember when Roman Yes. Came on, he was journaling, and we were both kinda like, well, I think you're, like, missing the you're, like when we're having a conversation, we're in the middle of a conversation and you're writing. Are you actually listening to the conversation?
Danny:Yeah. Maybe. You know, like, later on, write it down. And he he was like, no. I gotta write it down now because I'll forget.
Tyler:I I can see taking notes, I guess. I think in sessions with with my clients, like, I'll occasionally take notes. In in conversations with my customers, I have a a an app that records it so I can be be present.
Danny:Oh, that's cool.
Tyler:But again, like, I think I think it's important for that presence in a conversation setting. For me, writing is just purely between me. In in a way, I I think I carry some trauma around prayer and what I was what I grew up with the I have a very twisted expectation of what I think prayer should have been.
Danny:Oh.
Tyler:And and I think that just comes come comes from, like, the expectation that I see all I saw there's a lot of affluence in in the the Mormon church and the LDS church. And you, you hear them, you hear them. And I'm going to just going to like, do you hear the population talk about, you know, oh, I just prayed and I did this. And like all you see the people that talk about prayer, like a lot of good things are happening for them and they are very affluent and they have homes and boats and, and money. And I'm like, here I am this poor kid with a single mother.
Tyler:Like I'm praying for, I think the same stuff
Danny:that you're
Tyler:praying for. And that ain't happening for me. It's not happening for me. So I have a very probably broken expectation of what prayer is. I still, I mean, I still appreciate it.
Tyler:I still appreciate the, the, the mantra, the meditation, the, the, the practice. Right? I don't do it as much as I used to. I remember obviously in my twenties, 1920, I'm I'm in Montana and I'm on my knees every morning and every night, and I'm trying to figure out myself and who I am and looking for answers. I just think I put too much of an expectation on it.
Danny:Yeah. And and that in itself was self rescuing with with self soothing and self, like, looking in at yourself Mhmm. Of being able to, like, okay, I'm fine Mhmm. With with this. It's not going the way that I want it to go, or it's not the practice that I want it to be.
Danny:Yeah. But I can I can put it away for a minute and come back to it is important because, you know, if it's something that is good and we all agree that if we can all agree that it's good, you know, you coming back to it with a different mindset or a different outlook Mhmm? Might help you in that journey. Mhmm. Same thing with journaling and with other things that I that I don't do that I wish I did.
Danny:Taking a moment. Okay. It's not sitting well for me right now, but I'm gonna come back to it when I have a different outlook and a different perspective after getting more knowledge and gaining more, perspective on what it is that I want from it. You know? What what do I want from this self soothing or the self help thing, you know, like, the self help kick?
Danny:I'm not a big proponent of, like, you know, self help, like, self help books and self help bullshit. Yeah. Because I'm like, well, that that's there's so much out there. Oh, yeah. There's so much.
Danny:I I mean, people could listen to us and be like, oh my gosh. These guys
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:You know, with their trauma and their bullshit. It's like, what? There is trauma for sure. Right? But I'm not trying to help you.
Danny:No. I'm giving you opportunity. Here's some ideas.
Tyler:Yeah. My goal is to normalize the conversation. Normalize men having the conversation. Right? Like, and I've definitely gone down that, that self help path.
Tyler:Like I've read just about everything. I find, I find it, I find it fascinating at the same time. Like there's a lot of, there's a lot of trends and I don't, you know what I mean? I think it's just as addictive as for sure. Anything else.
Tyler:You can become addicted to that self improvement, self help very easy.
Danny:Yeah. And, like, you're, like, never really, like, breaking through barriers.
Tyler:You're just
Danny:constantly, like, in this, like Right. Even yeah.
Tyler:And I'm spending a lot of money on coaches courses. And how do I do this? And how do I become this? And like, part of it is like, okay, what is the valued action that you've got to do to actually get there? Because reading is great.
Tyler:Talking is great. Eventually, you gotta get better by showing up. Right? You don't get better at jujitsu by watching videos on YouTube.
Danny:Well and, like, how do you see yourself? Yeah. Like, how do you look in the mirror and, like, how do you see who you are as a man, who you are as a person, and then the people around you are going to see through some of the bullshit. Right? Like, we've been around I mean, we're around guys a lot that you're, like, okay.
Danny:I see through your bullshit.
Tyler:Yep.
Danny:Yes. You're tough. Yes. You're tough. But are you?
Danny:Yeah. Are you really that tough? You know? And if I really put some pressure on you and if I really fight back, are you going to, 1, like, escalate, like, we think you're supposed to, or 2, are you gonna, like, cower? And all of a sudden, now there's some pressure on you, and you don't you fold under the pressure both ways.
Danny:Like, fold by, like, aggressively getting pissed and then or shutting down
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Internally and Yeah. I think talking, like, talking to men, getting to the bottom of things, it all comes like professor says it always comes out in the wash. Yeah. Right? Like, everything comes out of the wash.
Danny:If you and I are fighting and you don't have good technique, but I do, it's all gonna come out in the wash. Yep. Yes. Maybe you are strong. Maybe you are maybe you have, strength, but you don't have endurance, and maybe I have a little bit of both.
Danny:It's all gonna come out of the wash. Right? And so I think practicing all of those skill sets to see what sticks, throw in a bunch of stuff at the wall and see what sticks, and then don't just don't, like, say, okay. Prayer is not for me. Maybe it's not for you right now.
Danny:Right? But maybe later on and when you're teaching your kids, like, when you're teaching them how to self rescue, you can be like, hey. This is a let's pray together. Let's let's let's pray together.
Tyler:Absolutely. Absolutely. I I I absolutely, and and I hope it didn't come off that I was writing enough. But I I do, like, I do I do find, like, I do find that there there's value in it. You know?
Tyler:I I I I think, like I said, the the tradition in which I was taught, I think, was just a little bit distorted.
Danny:Which I think is a cool, which is I think is, like, such an interesting thing because I never had that, you know, that that that religious background. And I know, we've had lots of conversations where, like, I know you you have, like, these really strong moral ethics that you live by Mhmm. Which I think is part of who you are.
Tyler:Oh, sure.
Danny:Which in turn, like, if you when you do teach things, teach them, you believe in them. Oh, yeah. Them a 100%. Yeah. You believe what you're teaching a 100%.
Danny:Yeah. You know, and and you want the best for who you're working with. Yeah. Whether it be, like, me or your kids or other people. Like, you want the best for them, which I think is teaching men especially to, you know, have those routines, to build those routines, and then to when your brain is in that monkey monkey mind, like, okay.
Danny:We're I have that too. You're you're an open book. Like, you are an open book.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Yes. I have those. Yes. I've done that. Yep.
Danny:Yes. I've hurt your feelings. Yes. I've yes. I have hurt my, you know, your my significant other's feelings.
Danny:Yes. I have. And I'm an open book.
Tyler:Yeah. I I don't think you you you don't gain anything by hiding Sure. By hiding. Right? And I think 9 times out of 10, if you're hiding something, like you said, it's gonna come out in the wash.
Tyler:Always. Right? And it's either gonna be and likely, if you've hidden it, it's like it's gonna it's gonna be 10 times worse. It's gonna it's gonna multiply. Right?
Tyler:It's it's it's like the dust bunnies that get under your bed.
Danny:You know?
Tyler:If you don't wipe them up every once in a while, they just multiply under there and multiply. It's like the little lie. It steamrolls Yeah. And and gets bigger and gets bigger and
Danny:gets bigger. Keep hiding it.
Tyler:No. You can't keep hiding it. Eventually eventually, the piper calls, and and you gotta answer.
Danny:Yeah. That's what I like. That's what I appreciate about you is, like, the you are an open book. That you are you do tell your story. You do you don't shy away from it even though, like, you know, you may sometimes think that, oh, I did I come off wrong?
Danny:No. You come off you come off genuine. Yeah. And and I think that's part of the growth of of how we are as men Yeah. Is to do we come off, like, are we genuine?
Danny:Are we genuine men? And I think, like, when we network and when we talk to people and we we share our story and we share what we're working on, they get excited because Yeah. We're genuine. Yes. You know, we're we're not hiding things Yeah.
Danny:By, giving you a bunch of bullshit. Yeah. We say this is what we're working on. This is this is who we are. This is the podcast.
Danny:This is our platform. This is the things that we you know, we may come in here and not have a single thing to talk about. Yeah. But when we start talking, our genuine
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Care of health, men's health, well-being Yep. Jujitsu, and care for each other and care for what we're doing Yeah. Is gonna come is gonna come shining through.
Tyler:We're building that common unity. Yeah. Building that common unity.
Danny:Yeah. Funny story about a about dust bunny. I'll tell you a funny
Tyler:story. Go.
Danny:When I was in the military, you you get assigned, jobs. Uh-huh. Right? So when you go, like like, I had a lot of cousins that were in the military, and they would be like, don't volunteer for anything. That was the thing.
Danny:You go, and they're like, don't volunteer for anything. Don't volunteer for anything when the when the drill sergeant says, I need 4 people for this job. I'm not telling you the job, but I need 4 people. Raise your hand. Don't raise your hand.
Danny:Do not raise your hand because it's probably gonna be toilet cleaning Yeah. Or latrine duties or the worst job in the world. He's like, wait there'd be like, wait till everything is said and done, and then good jobs will start coming. Good. You want you wanna wait Yeah.
Danny:Your jobs. So, you know, you go in there, you get your jobs, and they every other Sunday, you have a big clean of the barracks. And this is, like so in the in the for basic, you have, like, 2 rows of bunk beds, and there's probably, man, 40 guys in each row. Just thinking,
Tyler:like, Full Metal Jacket, the scenes that you see in the scene. I
Danny:like that. It's just like Yeah. So it not like you don't sleep with a gun or anything like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:But, yeah, it's like that. There's all this. There's one communal shower. It's so crazy. Yeah.
Danny:It's it's crazy. But every Sunday that we cleaned, this one kid would go sit, and he would lay underneath a bed. He would just lay underneath the bed, and we were like, what in the world? Why doesn't he clean his bed? It was so man, he would we'd always get in trouble because his, his bed was not made correctly, so some of us would have to make his bed for him so that we didn't get into trouble because he would not make his bed.
Danny:He was, his uniform was always, like, like, hanging off of him, like, oh, so bad. But he was a really nice guy. And, you know, like, sometimes if you're not careful, it can become lord of the flies where you pick on the same Yeah. You pick on the guy, and and and and you'd you you got briefed a lot. Like, don't don't pick on the guy.
Danny:Don't pick on
Tyler:the guy. Right.
Danny:Our our drill sergeant comes in with time, and he is like, what is he doing under there? And we're like, we don't know. He that's where he goes, and he's like, okay. We're gonna take care of this. He goes, and he finds, like, a big dust bunny, and he's like, this is your pet.
Danny:This is yours. This is gonna stay in your locker, and it needs to grow. So you need to clean, and you need to make this dust bunny, and it's probably about, like, this big, maybe, like, a quarter of dust. I don't even know how he found it, and and he's like, this is gonna grow. And you by the end of basic, it better be big.
Danny:It better have grown. And we were laugh we were we, you know, we were like, what? And this is so weird. This guy took this shit seriously. By the time of end of basic, it was probably, like, that big.
Danny:It was, like, almost 3 or 4 inches of dust. Wow. He can't. I'm so gross, dude. But he thought I mean, he's like he would make that thing grow.
Danny:It was so it was such a
Tyler:All because he was hiding under a bed.
Danny:Basic teaches you basic training is some of the craziest times of your life. It's probably a lot like the MTC, but with a bunch of, like, weird dudes that are, you know, from all walks of.
Tyler:No. I mean, that's probably where it's like the most similar, right? Yeah. Dudes from all walks of life. I will say we had a lot of freedom.
Tyler:We were, we were, we were supposed to be more self disciplined, right? Like you had the benefit of being externally disciplined. I probably would have benefited from that a little bit because I was a little bit, you know, you could go to the you could go to the cafeteria at any time and get a Doctor Pepper and whatever.
Danny:Some of my funniest some of my best memories were from basic. Some of the funniest things that I could remember, like, you go there and they, they would tell you, you know, your first day Mhmm. You're you go there and you're supposed to shave. You know? They shave from your hairline to your neckline, but they just mean like this stuff.
Danny:But there would be guys that shave their eyebrows off.
Tyler:It's just like social like, or, like, people that just didn't have ex exposure. Like 3
Danny:guys in my flight. The, the guy would the the drill sergeant came up, and he's like, where's your eyebrows? He's like,
Tyler:you don't.
Danny:You saw me to shave from my headlight to my neckline. He's like, your eyebrow. Oh, my gosh. Did you
Tyler:tell him you're excited?
Danny:Oh, dear.
Tyler:If you're sad.
Danny:Oh, my gosh. It was funny. There was so much funny stuff that happened, and it, like, taught me a lot of, like, cool, cool things because, you know, you have to sleep. You have to get to sleep. And there'd be, like, times that guys were, like, talking in their sleep because they're so tired, you know, and it would have been some man, like, some funny things.
Danny:Like, people sit up in the middle of the night, ah, screaming Right. And then fall back like, lay back down. You're like, woah.
Tyler:Dude, we need to do all wait. This has gotta be a whole episode in and of itself because, like, I've got some weird stories I get to share too. I was living with this guy, and he would just go, like, that was his exhale was just a long, like, this is just like all night long. It wasn't a snore.
Danny:Oh my god.
Tyler:It was just like he was like like, a c sharp or something Yeah. All night long. And he's like
Danny:Oh, I love that.
Tyler:Crazy stories, man. I really appreciate the conversation. I know we were, it was a night, and we were kind of the rain and, like Yeah. It was so I just appreciate you you
Danny:Yeah. And you had a lot of stuff going on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:For me, I had training was insane.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:That was fun. Yeah, man. Appreciate it too. Yeah.
Tyler:Anything else going on? Nick's exciting?
Danny:Yeah. 20 20th year at me and Misty's 20th anniversary tomorrow.
Tyler:Congratulations. So Congratulations.
Danny:This comes out Friday? Friday? Yeah. So Wednesday, the August 14th. We're 20 years married and, 28 years together.
Danny:Really? 14th August. Yeah, man. I'm I'm so lucky. I tell people all the time, like, I am so lucky the the the
Tyler:Interesting. August 14th?
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:So strange.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:I mean, like, there's a there's a correlation to that date. I'll I'll share with you off off the air, but, like, congratulations to you. That's not an easy No. Not an easy feat and, like, super inspired by you and Missy and Yeah. Like
Danny:I'm lucky. Want I
Tyler:want you know, I hope that I aspire to that someday.
Danny:So Thank you. Appreciate it. Yeah. Cool, man. Thank you for this, Jace.
Danny:Thanks for, talking.
Tyler:Yeah. I appreciate it. Last update here on this end, man. Vessi is no longer pre revenue. That is the spa project that Danny and I have set up.
Tyler:We are have several different ways. You can you can donate or not necessarily donate, but you can actually purchase or become an investor. Check out the website, Spa Vessi. As always, hit us up on Instagram, lostboyscouts.com.
Danny:Come see us at Park City Jujitsu. Come see
Tyler:us at Park City Jujitsu.
Danny:Hang on with us.
Tyler:And until the next episode
Danny:Appreciate it.
Tyler:Have a good night. Cheers.
