The Sound of Learning:The Art of Getting It Almost Right
Welcome back to the Lost Boy Scouts podcast.
Danny:We got
Tyler:hopefully, we got it right this time.
Danny:Yeah. Hopefully. Jeremy called me, and and I don't know if you've seen his message, but he was like, hey. You know that the first 15 minutes is, like, really scratchy and all that? And I was like and then 2 seconds later, he said, oh, that must have been what you were talking about at the beginning of the podcast.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. So it's it's like a learning experience.
Tyler:Right? It really is. I mean, I like to think myself as technical, but there's there's different types of technical. Right? There's all this audio, this video, this stuff that I'm learning, like, stuff that I've always I've always loved cameras and this kind of stuff.
Tyler:But,
Danny:man What a crazy, Yeah. Yeah. We're, back out in the mountains of Utah. Same spot. Things have changed a little bit.
Danny:Like, some of the leaves have fallen off. It snowed for the first time for the year. I wasn't stoked on it. I Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:I had to drive in it today, and I was like, everybody at work was like, do you have shoes on? And I I never wear shoes. I always wear flip flops or sandals. But it's part of, like, what we live in and I the beauty of our 4 seasons. Right?
Danny:Yeah. The ability to have 4 seasons. I'm not a cold weather person. So Yeah.
Tyler:I'm bundled up. I like to see myself as a polar bear, although, man, this year has gone by so fast, it feels like. How fast is October gone?
Danny:Yeah. It's insane. It's almost halfway over. Yeah. I wonder if it's just that we've been busy and, like, life just goes life life just doesn't slow down.
Danny:Right? It's it's one of
Tyler:those things that for me, particularly, it's like a hard it's hard. It's hard to it's hard to handle the the rapid change. Like, I want to be so productive.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:Again, my perfectionism, like, really Gets the
Danny:best of me.
Tyler:Gets the best of me. I'm like, I see that the time is, like, really speeding by, but at the same time, like, I have to hit the brakes and say, okay. Same as my jujitsu. Right? Like, I don't see the progress that I have in my outside life, but, you know, my kids do.
Tyler:We've we've we've moved. We've we've established a new
Danny:Yeah. Life has moved on.
Tyler:Yeah. Life has moved on.
Danny:And And you've grown and gotten better, and and some things stay the same and some things don't. Right?
Tyler:Yeah. And the things that I really don't want like, the things that I'm really, like, pushing myself to do and to to be different, if they haven't gotten
Danny:to where I want them to be, then
Tyler:I get really hard on myself for sure.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. Same same. I'm the same way. I I, I tend to like I talked about, I I tend to resonate.
Danny:I tend to look at what's gonna go on in the future. Like, what's the next year hold? What's the next 4 months hold? And then when I listen to my my morning meditation music, it's always, like, stop doing that.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Don't go in the
Danny:past because that's where their wounds are at. Right. And don't go in the future because that's where, like, expectation and that we talked about last week, expectation bias happens. Because if you don't if you don't accomplish those, you know, what you what you think you should, then you feel like it's a failure. Even in all reality, life's life's not a failure because you just maybe lose sometimes, but it's a lesson learned.
Danny:Right? Yeah. And that's always what I tell myself in the morning. Like, stay in the moment. Stay in the moment, Danny.
Danny:Stay in the moment. Don't don't move on. And definitely don't look back
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:At at what what could have been, what should have been, or what I want. Yeah. Because you'll always you'll never accomplish what you think you should have accomplished.
Tyler:I I totally agree. I think, obviously, there's some beauty in sitting and resonating and finding resolution in in those wounds and, like, understanding the triggers and where they where they might show up in the future. Right? Where in the where my wounded past might I revert to if I don't understand it. Right?
Tyler:Like, I have to I have to build some resonance and understanding into how is that past wound showing up in my present. Right. And that's and then then that's for me. Right? Like, that's where this perfectionism I'm setting this expectation just like you we we talked about last week.
Tyler:You know? Gotta get out
Danny:of those glory days. Yeah. The glory days are well and, like, you know, there's there's chapters of your life where, like, you can remember back, and you're like, man, that was such a fun chapter of my life. Then there's other chapters of your life where you're like, man, that was I'm glad I made it out of there a lot. Yeah.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:You
Danny:know? And and, like, I'm glad that, like, things I'm here today. Right. You know? There's definitely been times in my life where I'm like, man, there's a good chance I didn't I wouldn't have made it out of that that chapter had I not had resilience Yes.
Danny:And and the people around me, the people that surround Yeah. That that gave me passes. Right?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And, the glory days, it's so funny when, you know, you see those guys that are stuck in the glory days, you know, and they're like
Danny:you're like, you're not the
Danny:high school quarterback anymore, dude.
Tyler:I I feel like with the van setup, we should have that Napoleon Dynamite football. Do you remember that scene?
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler:Back in the morning high school, I could throw a pigskin over them hills.
Danny:Over them hills.
Tyler:Over them hills. Yeah. And they're right here, man. It's just so gorgeous out here today. Oh, man.
Danny:Today today was, yeah, today is, today has been great. I had to work, you know, I work overtime Yeah. On Fridays, and it was actually not that bad of a day. Plus I knew we were gonna come out, or we were gonna get together in podcast. Yeah.
Danny:It was a good week because we actually trained a bunch together
Danny:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:This week, which, for me, is always fun seeing my friends, at the academy and and seeing the seeing from my perspective the way the academy is going and, like Yeah. Tuesday, night was kind of, like, rough, like, bunch of bunch of really hard training. And then Wednesday night was just so quiet. Yeah. But it was really hard training.
Danny:It was. It was So quiet. It was like, professor talks about, you know, when it's a good academy when you walk in, all yours, shh. Yeah. No talking.
Danny:No no grunting. No crazy noises. Just quiet. Everybody's breathing quiet, and that's how Wednesday was. It was, like, really cool, but high level training.
Danny:You know? Really high level training. So it was fun.
Tyler:Music a trend in the gym the last few weeks. Like, we've not been very active with, like, the bottom half of the body, a lot of foot locks, a lot of ankle locks. It feels like in the last few weeks since professors started teaching the, the leg leg entanglements that, like, those are popping up more and more.
Danny:Yeah. Me
Tyler:and I I blame myself too because I'm there's some positions I'm trying to work on, trying to get and
Danny:Well, just opens up so much more of the body. It opens up and and opens up so much more of, like, it's like a whole another book inside of the book. Right? And now you're like, if you're not careful, you'll go down that book and you'll forget about everything else. Right?
Danny:Right. And I think that's the the benefits of like that. That's why it's, like, so true to me to life. Yeah. Wrestling is such a big part of my life.
Danny:Yeah. It's a really big part of my life, and and, you know, I got some news about, my wrestling journey and how wrestling's gonna continue on in my life. But, you know, wrestling always has, like, happiness. There's always Yeah. It's it's a grind.
Danny:It sucks. But there's always, like, you always, like, see results. Yeah. Right? And there's always a shelf life.
Danny:In jujitsu, there's always, like, happiness, but there's never, like, that, oh, I got it Yeah. Moment. Yeah. It's always, like, oh, fuck. There's so much more.
Danny:Right. There's so much more to it. Right. And I think that's how life is. Is is you go, man, I'm happy.
Danny:Man, I'm stoked, but holy shit. I have nothing figured out. Yeah. Yeah. Your kids present something new to you, and you're like, well, this is the first time I'm dealing with this.
Danny:Yeah. Let's let's go down this path. Yeah.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. And that's good for you, I think. I think that that that's a marker of growth. I watched, I watched Foxcatcher Oh.
Tyler:For the first time because I heard I heard you guys talking about it. Didn't realize, like, the to the area, the connection that Schultz the Schultz has had both with BYU and, just in the in living in the area. Interestingly enough, my I have an uncle who who wrestled for the BYU I haven't read them yet. Wrestling team probably maybe near the tail end of that time. Okay.
Tyler:Because, like, what, Foxcatcher, like, his the murder actually happened in 2006 I
Danny:think so.
Tyler:From what I understand. So it would have been right around that time. Perhaps there's some I'm about to do some research and see if there was any paths that crossed. But, man, what an incredible discipline those brothers had.
Danny:You know, I don't you know my story. Like, I didn't I knew about collegiate wrestling. I knew about wrestling, but I didn't really start paying attention to it until until right about 2010, maybe 2009, right around that area. Mhmm. So and it all happened because Braxton, my oldest son, joined the wrestling team.
Danny:And once that happened, then my life immersed into wrestling. Right? And so I know about Dave and Mark Schultz. I've trained with people that have trained with Mark, and and their upbringing and the way that they approached wrestling was is was fanatical. Right?
Danny:But, also, they were known for being so mean. Oh, really? So mean to you. Yeah. Like, mean to you.
Danny:Like, if you if you were wrestling them, you knew that that you better protect your arms and you better protect everything because they were gonna try to rip it off. Wow. You know? And but then I heard I've heard stories about Dave, just how nice and kind and, like Yeah. Just a beautiful soul he was, you know, and loved his brother so much.
Danny:And that whole thing, the way that it played out is a is a bummer. If you haven't seen Foxcatcher, if you haven't seen the story, I mean, it's it's pretty crazy the way that it the way that it turned out because Dave Schultz was he was the guy for Yeah. USA wrestling. Yeah. He was the guy.
Danny:He still to this day, like, people talk about him, and he's a legend of the sport and then ended up getting murdered.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting because you the the gentleman, John du Pont. Yeah. Like, one, it's an incredible movie.
Tyler:It came out in
Speaker 4:2016. Yeah. Probably.
Tyler:I think last night because I I watched I finished it last night, and then I, of course, you know, got on the Internet. And, like, I'm trying to understand, like, okay. What happened? Like, I didn't realize that the the movie is actually kind of a, has that I didn't know that the murder was associated. I thought it's a I just thought it was a movie about wrestling.
Tyler:Right. And I heard some guys at the academy talking about it, and, I was like, man, I should probably go watch that, you know, b team jiu jitsu has their fox catcher Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:Series that they do too. So it's like, I what is this about? What do I need to, like and so yeah. But the the dude came from incredible means, and you watch it, and the way the the movie portrays him is that, like, he's kind of a kind of a total poser. Kind of just uses money Yeah.
Tyler:To to like, he wanted to be this person. He was trying to fake it through money. Like, and he was really trying
Danny:to fake He thought he could.
Tyler:Status and prestige through through money.
Danny:For sure.
Tyler:And, unfortunately, like, we do that. We put people on the pedestal be because
Danny:they have money. Yeah. Money definitely can, can gloss over or or hide a lot of things. Right. Right?
Danny:And you you can't fake very long, if you haven't put in the work. Right. If you haven't put in the work, you can fake it, but you but eventually, people will see through that cloth or see through that sheet. Right. Right?
Danny:And especially in a combat sport. Right. Right? You can put yourself out there and
Tyler:do There's that scene where his mom comes into the gym on the the the she's wheeled into the on the wheelchair, and there's a bunch of spoilers here. Sorry. If you haven't watched it, I don't feel too bad for you because it's it's an old movie, but he John DuPont, like, starts talking about like, he's he's he's trying to prove to his mom that like, you can totally see he's trying to prove to his mom that he's, like, leading this group of men.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:And that he and he teaches, like, a basic arm drag and, like, a basic Yeah. Like position. Right. And and at the end, Dave kinda gets up and he's like, alright, let's, let's work on arm tracks.
Danny:Like Yeah. Like, yeah.
Tyler:This level of wrestling that these guys are at are so far beyond Working on that. That that but that's what he could offer. Right? He what he was trying to prove to his mom and, like, that's there's a man who just does not have did not have resonance with his past. I mean, and it shows in, like, when they went to trial and he had the, you know, basically where they say he was he had a mental breakdown for that,
Danny:and that's why he, you know, like, we've kinda talked about impostor syndrome Yeah. Before. Right? And impostor syndrome, like, in that in that moment of, like, thinking that you know Right. More than what you actually know is is is so prevalent sometimes
Danny:Right.
Danny:In your life. Right? You're like Yeah. You see something, you're like, that guy has no idea what he's talking about. Yeah.
Danny:But he's able to he's able to trick a couple people or money talks. Yeah. And now you have to, pretend like you know because this dude is paying your paycheck. Right? You're like, oh, yeah.
Danny:Okay.
Tyler:Where he does the the wrestling Yeah. Tournament. It's got his name on the tournament. Yeah. You see him slide the cash to the guy that kinda takes the dive.
Tyler:You're just like, shit. Like, I can't
Danny:feel good. I know. It's gotta
Tyler:be so bad for you to be surrounded by people like Yes, man. Yes, man. Yeah. Like, surrounded by people that are just yes, man.
Danny:Have you ever been in an environment like that?
Tyler:Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Where you've had
Danny:to be the play that part and also be on the other end?
Tyler:I think when we when we act from a place of insecurity, when we act from from our our pseudo self Sure. We be we are the yes men. Absolutely. I was a yes man up until, you know, and I do still find myself seeing, like, me go into that peep they call people pleasing. Right?
Tyler:People pleasing. Dan Glover, the no more mister nice guy, his book is all about we do this because we want to be accepted. He wanted to be accepted in this community. It did not matter that John was, like, a ornologist or amazing bird watcher. He's a very published, but, like, maybe that's how his whole life was that he just spent his way into becoming these things, and he never really authentically had it.
Tyler:I don't know. Sure. And I don't wanna necessarily speak ill of the dead anymore, but, like, he didn't need to he didn't need to be. He could've just been the money, and the money could've been enough
Danny:to make this incredible program. Right. I fall into when when I first started coaching wrestling because I actually never wrestled. Never had a until I was an adult, never had a wrestling match. I I did wrestle in veterans nationals like I talked about only so that I could so that I could understand the experience, but it was it's not like being a kid wrestling.
Danny:Right. You know, being a kid wrestling in junior high, high school, and then subsequently college if you decide to do that, I I see it. I see the pressures. I see the I see how it changes, you and how me, personally, like, I came into it thinking that, I was just gonna help. And then now that I'm coaching, I'm like, how can I teach these things?
Danny:How can I how can I resonate or or or even associate with these young men and young women when I've never done what they've done? Right. Like, I've never I've never been in that position as a as a child where your parents and your family and your team and your school are looking at you as this wrestler who's who has this weight of this, you know, this weight of what your expectations are. And that impostor syndrome, it it it would get the best of me sometimes. Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. And I would, I would shy back because I didn't wanna be seen as somebody that would be, like, telling you how to do something when you've actually done it Yeah. 10000 times when I've never done it once. Yeah. Right?
Danny:And and that that to me was, like, god, it was such a big learning experience for me. It was such a big learning experience for me.
Tyler:I've definitely had that same same experience in lacrosse. Right? Lacrosse for me growing up, I I I played through high school. Post high school, I played, you know, on some some collegiate level club teams. Nothing ever really associated with too many too many colleges.
Tyler:But at the at the time, when I was in high school, college lacrosse, division 1 lacrosse was as as far
Danny:as you could take it. Right.
Tyler:And so if you had if you were if you were connected to coaching at that level, you you had more credibility. Right? Sure. You were seen as more credible. So how do you how do you stay connected with the support that you love, that you enjoy when you don't necessarily have the credibility?
Tyler:I think some of it comes from killing your idols a little bit. Sure. Right? You know, they may be good at at one thing, but what what can you bring? Right.
Tyler:What can you bring? You can bring an incredible perspective on what it means to be to endure Sure. To to work in a combat sport, to be in the cage, to to to to mental aspect of it rather than just being like, oh, yes. I'm this, you know, big swinging dick on the wrestling mat or on the lacrosse field. Like, that's when our ego is spun out of control.
Tyler:Sure. We don't we don't I don't have anything to prove on lacrosse to anyone in this valley.
Danny:It's take
Tyler:it taken me a long time to to to get there. Right? Like, it's taken me a long time to eat and and a lot of humble pie and eating crow to to say, you know, it doesn't matter. I I had to, you know again, when I was in those scenarios where I was pretending to be something that I wasn't, I was really acting from a place of pseudo self. Pseudo self.
Danny:Because my parents got divorced at such a such a young age, you know, my mom my mom had a long term relationship with a man. Mhmm. And and he's not with us anymore. He was great. He was great.
Danny:He he was he he was a good person, but it's funny because, like, even though I didn't have a good relationship with my dad Mhmm. He's my dad. Right. I know who my dad is. I never have to question
Danny:who my dad is,
Danny:you know? My dad is is big Danny O'Conia
Danny:Yeah.
Danny:And I never looked to another man. I never looked to my mom's long term partner as a father. Yeah. Never. He had he he had some good qualities for him that that maybe, like, those I was like, you know, he's a good dude, but, I knew who my dad was.
Danny:Yeah. I never questioned
Speaker 4:See? Never questioned.
Tyler:And and I was the same way. Like, my mom was never in a relationship. Never. Never. Still to this day.
Tyler:And I think that, like, hopefully, she finds that for herself, but my dad was in so many. Other than one, like, I didn't really see them as as impacting my life. They weren't they weren't players in my life Sure. At 17, 18 years old. Yeah.
Tyler:Right? They weren't they weren't players. They I honestly, I respect them because I'm a good human and I respect other people, but they weren't, like, I they weren't there to parent me or mother me or to to teach me anything. My mom was always my mom. My dad was always my dad.
Tyler:Although there is I'm I'm what's coming to mind is the gentleman, I don't think they train anymore. He was the federal agent. Oh, yeah. And he used to bring his children in it. And it was I probably had been training for 9 months before I found out that, like, those weren't his kids.
Tyler:Right. Those weren't his kids. He just was training to make himself better, but he was bringing in these kids that were obviously a little a little undiscoordinated, and and and he was treating them like they were his kids. Right? And I I mean, I think He's such a good dude.
Tyler:Right?
Danny:Oh, he's such a good dude. And I think he and and and, like, man, talk about, like, being around people just in our in our in our in our topic tonight of mentorship. Yeah. His kid, like you said, like, those kids that came in with him, they were great. Yeah.
Danny:They were great kids. They're so great. But him, his job is one of those ones with the FBI that you just hate Yeah. The fact that that there's that he has to do it. But he he does a great job at it.
Danny:It's a very unique skill set that he does. And every time I talk to him, every time I see him, I'm always like, man, thank you so much for protecting and keeping us safe because it's a unique it's a unique thing. And so even, like, a little tiny relationship like that is a mentorship that you take something from. Right. Right?
Danny:And and and as men, we have to we have to find little bits and pieces that we like of people Mhmm. That we're like, okay. I like that, and I'm gonna grow that about myself. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:I'm gonna be that way, Especially because having no father in my life, I had to, I had to learn things the hard way sometimes when raising my boys. Yeah. When we found wrestling, it was a lifesaver for me Yeah. Because it allowed me so much time with my boys, so much time. My boys and I spent so much time together.
Danny:Sometimes not you know, sometimes they probably, they don't have the fondest memories of of some of those things.
Danny:But I but but at the end of
Danny:the day, like, I had fond memories of the fact that, like, I was able to find that that community, and it taught me so much. Then next thing, boom, jiu jitsu. Yeah. And now I have this great community around myself. Yeah.
Danny:My friendships, as a man are so great, and I feel like it's it's it's what, like, my purpose is. Right? And mentorship is a big part of my life. It's a big part of my life, and I think, like, I've been lucky. I've I've got great people around me, and I've met men that I'm like, man, I really like that guy about I like that quality about Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. I'm gonna try to be like that.
Tyler:And and maybe that's the true point of mentorship is that we don't put these people on too much of a pedestal. We don't want them to become too elevated where they become idolized. Again, watch out for that. And and perhaps this is my own twisted past coming out of a high demand religion. Right?
Tyler:And we, like, we put certain people on a pedestal and we wanna emulate this person and, like, even in modern Christianity, it's like, I wanna be like Jesus. And, like, yes. As an allegory, I love the concept of Jesus who was this person that was, like, ultra forgiving, loving, like you know what I mean? Those are he he exhibited some qualities that I really that I really loved. Do I want to be like that?
Tyler:Absolutely. Do I need to put him on a pedestal and worship him? I don't know. I I don't know because I don't know, like, really, I don't know if the story was actually true.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:I I I think that, like, it for me, it makes a great allegory. It makes a great a great story. I understand. And and I think if you look at it from that perspective, I don't get too tied I don't get too I don't get too married to the idea. I don't I don't have to, you know, fall on my sword to defend any one of his ideas.
Tyler:Sure. I can be open. I can be my own my own person. I can be my own man, and I can emulate those things that I like about them. That way if they, you know, they fuck up and they become, you you know, Jeffrey Epstein and
Danny:you know?
Danny:You can you
Tyler:can you know, you're not so married that you don't you don't have to backpedal it.
Danny:Well, and, man, like, yeah, like like false idols and false biases. That's where I think, like, mentorship, really need to be careful sometimes because sometimes there are men that we work with or children that you work with that you're like, yeah, man. I can't I can't I can't be my crazy self. I have to be this version of myself that, like, of all the good qualities. Yeah.
Danny:And I don't get to show you where I send you pictures of somebody farting and somebody doing things Yeah. That are inappropriate because you you may take that and run with it. It's the fact that, like, oh, Danny does it, and now I've given you this, this key to a lock that you probably don't wanna unlock. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:You know?
Tyler:Right. We we, yeah, we are we are creatures that learn by example For sure. Way more. I I think that's why I've always, like, I could never get into the military myself. I really like, when 911 happened, I really wanted to join the military.
Tyler:I I couldn't I couldn't physically do it because of, because of my eyesight. Mhmm. But I've always loved that the the marine corps officer candidate school has this this saying, ductus exemplo. It's lead by example. Sure.
Tyler:And and and to me, like, that is the best version of a mentor, somebody that can lead by example. But then again, your your idea of taking the pieces that work for you and and, polishing those.
Danny:Polishing. Yeah. Like honing those and Yeah. Like, taking off the little bits that you don't that you don't resonate with, I think that's how you become, like, a really a really, really good coach. Right.
Danny:Going back to wrestling, I believe that's why I'm a great coach at wrestling. Right. It's because I watch, I hone, I keep it simple. I I teach it so that everybody can you could come in tomorrow, and you could feel like you're a wrestler within 2 days. Yeah.
Danny:If I teach you, like, these crazy things that are on YouTube and you watch these crazy matches of these kids that are just high level kids right now and you try those moves and you fail, you're like, yeah. I'm not gonna do that. Yeah. Plus, honestly, putting that singlet on is so empowering Yeah. But also so, like, man, there's nothing left to hide.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. I remember my
Danny:buddy and I, went to a climbing competition, and he's like, you know what we should do? We should put the singlets on. And I was like, dude, okay. Yeah. We should.
Danny:Yeah. We should. Yeah. So I give him a singlet. He's never wore a singlet.
Danny:Never done anything. The first thing he does, he goes, where do you put it? And I'm like, oh, for one thing, when you're you're a wrestler, you don't care about the outline. Yeah. You're not thinking about it like that.
Danny:But we're going to this climbing competition, and, of course, we have outlines. And I was like, so what I'll what I do in this environment, I put a I put something there in place, and he goes, yeah, my wife said, no. No. I can see everything.
Tyler:You don't wanna be that French pole vaulter.
Danny:Yeah. And
Danny:so even those things, like, man, like, you're trying to, like, teach these kids to be confident in their bodies Yeah. Confident in everything, but not but and know that boys and men just by the way that we are created are just
Tyler:sometimes You're gonna get teased.
Danny:And per we're perverted sometimes. You know, we don't mean it. Right. We I I you know, there's things that I just I say I do, and I'm just like, oop. Should've done that.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:When we have when we do our Tyler and I have talked about, doing a open mic night for a comedy. Mhmm. I have a bit of of of a situation that I got myself into, and one of my bits is about boys and wrestling scenes and and and things that happen. And, man, I I've I've been practicing it, and and it's it's a true story. Yeah.
Danny:And so it's like, I don't have to I don't have to, like, make it up. It's an actual true story.
Tyler:That's funny. You know? One of these episodes, we'll have to perform
Danny:our our one minute Yeah. Our one minute Kill the kill Tony. Kill Tony. Yeah. But mentorship goes so deep sometimes that you don't even know when a kid is watching you or when a person's watching you.
Danny:And I I I I think about that a lot. Like, you don't know if somebody's watching your actions and maybe changes or or, like, they get a different perspective of you that you're not, like, really stoked on.
Danny:Yeah.
Danny:You know, and I think about that a lot. And so anytime I'm mentoring anybody or coaching, I always try to remember that, like, you're never gonna knock it out of the park. Never. You're not gonna knock it out of the park, but you're gonna impact a lot of people's lives. And I believe, myself personally, I've been lucky.
Danny:I've been lucky because so many people have come up to me and been like, thank you so much for what you just said. Yeah. Thank you so much for what you just said. Thank you for so much for how you just worded that or what you what that that that meant a lot to me, you know. And maybe they just they just what they were thinking, maybe I maybe I I solidified it or maybe I just changed it a tiny bit so they can be comfortable Right.
Danny:In their own thoughts. Right.
Danny:You know?
Tyler:Yeah. I mean, I I I think that's exactly it. Right? When I look back on my coaching experience, we were I had a scenario where we were in the playoffs. You know, Wasatch High School here in in in Heber, Utah does not have a storied lacrosse program by any means.
Tyler:Lacrosse in Utah in general is still barely in its infancy, although it's it's grown up now thanks to to professional programs. But, we made it to the the furthest we ever made it in the playoffs, and we were playing a very established program down in the valley. And I just remember being hyped and trying to get these people hyped up. And I grabbed this kid by the helmet, and I'm looking at him. He's one of my my seniors, and I'm just, like, hitting my head.
Tyler:I split my head open way. And it's blood bloody. And the parents in the stand were like, did you just see what your husband did to my son? This kid now, the kid that I did it to, an incredible human being. He's now in the, the naval academy playing playing, you know, their on their football club and and and just like one of those people we just had that relationship, though, but I can look back on that relationship, and did I leave the relationship better?
Danny:Sure. That to
Tyler:me is a that that to me is a, a mentorship goal of mine. And maybe that's why I don't wanna be this dad energy, the stepdad energy. I wanna be main character energy. I wanna be leaving the relationship better than when I found it.
Danny:I understand. And maybe, like, maybe maybe that's a good way to look at if you do end up with a relationship with with a woman with children is that you can impact their lives just in a different in a different main character Right. Energy, and maybe that's where you're learning. Yeah. Maybe that's the part that you're learning right now.
Danny:Yeah. You know, I I've I've been a part of 2 really, really good wrestling programs Yeah. Luckily. I started with Layton. Mhmm.
Danny:Layton is now currently number 1 in the state. They're number 1 in the state, and I was a part of that program, and and I I believe that, like, some of the values and some of the core things that the coach and I, instilled, they're still working on today. And then, of course, I was a part of Wasatch, which is a storied Yeah. Which is a storied. I mean, like, it it it is a very storied program in Utah and in the the national rankings, you know.
Danny:And I was lucky. I was lucky to be a part of them. I was lucky to have good people around me, good wrestlers around me. Yeah. I'm currently, getting ready to become part of Park City wrestling program at Park City High School.
Danny:And they have 0 support, 0 community support, and this is gonna be such a big learning curve for me and it's gonna test me on every aspect of my life, you know. Mhmm. Because I've, I've been lucky so far. And I'm gonna be building it from pretty much the ground up in and and improving on and hopefully, giving more to what Tristan did last year, which was just getting the kids out there, keeping them out there. He did such a good job with them at 20 years old.
Danny:19 he's 19 years old, has these kids out there trusting him as a 19 year old, you know, and I think maybe I pat maybe he gets that from me. Maybe he gets that that ability to talk to resonate with these children. And I'm always like, man, remember, like, don't don't get caught up in the fact that you're 19 so you can be a dumbass and Yeah. Teach them dumbass isms. Yeah.
Danny:You know? Dumbass isms. But we'll see. I mean, it's it's it's exciting. It's it's it's exciting, and and hopefully, we can get the program coming up.
Danny:And it'll test my mentorship and my coaching Sure. Ability to to the umpteenth because, like, it's not a year. It's not like you're you're you're dedicating 1 year. You're dedicating your life several needs several. 5 to 10 years of
Tyler:So would you rather be a part of a storied program or a a a building program?
Danny:I thought about this yesterday. I I I kinda had a, like, a little bit of an epiphany, that I would I love the fact that I have this concrete foundation of these 2 Yeah. Foundations that I can build potentially. Like, man, I was thinking, like, gosh, it would be awesome to have, you know, a a team that does really well at stake. Right.
Danny:Right. You know, makes it in the top 5. And and they're like Tristan, Danny, Kurt, Larry, Meg, they did that. Yeah. And they did it from ground.
Danny:And I
Danny:think that will be kinda cool with the, main character energy. Yeah. Right? And that stepdad energy that we were talking about. Part of that with me also is I've I've I know for a fact that I I couldn't do it either.
Danny:Yeah. Not that I wouldn't. You know, I I mean, I'm not in that situation. Right? So, it's really hard for me to understand or resonate with that idea because, I know personally, like, I I would struggle with the other person.
Danny:Yeah. You know, the other the other side of that. Yeah. Because you don't wanna step on toes. Right?
Danny:But if the person's not teaching the children the right the right life skills, when do you step in? When do you say enough is enough? I gotta take I gotta throw you these things. Yeah.
Tyler:Yeah. And it's it is very interesting. Right? You go back to that Jordan Peterson quote about, like, when your child does something, you've gotta correct them.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:Because you are going to correct them in a more gentle way than probably the the world will. For sure. And I think that that's true, but, I mean, I think that that's part of, like, we're in this dynamic as a as a family. I'm not necessarily your dad. Sure.
Tyler:I'm not going I'm not here to replace your dad. Your dad is still going to be an example in your life. He's still going to teach you things whether you're aware of what he's teaching you or not. He's still teaching you things, but I'm also going to be in that life. Just don't call me a stepdad.
Danny:Yeah. Right? You know what I mean? How did that, so so going back to you were on a date Mhmm. And you're telling this, your your date that, what was what was her response?
Tyler:I she got really, like, really wide eyed, like, like, really wide eyed. And then, again, it has nothing to do with me not wanting kids or not wanting additional kids or not wanting to grow my family. But, you know, at my age, my kids are my kids are grown.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:Yeah. Do you really think that, like, I'm gonna meet a new woman and my oldest who's 18 years old is going to accept her as as a mother figure. Sure. I I mean, I don't know. I don't know.
Tyler:I think that, like, she'll probably be able to teach my daughter some things and and provide my daughter with some critical life experience. But I think it's on my daughter to, like, really determine what role is this person going to have in my life. Right. As somebody who sat on the sideline and watched my kids kind of, you know, have a a bonus parent per se, like, I don't get the impression that they care too much. Sure.
Tyler:And it could just be that the nature of that relationship isn't very evolved yet, but, you you know what I mean? Like, if they don't respect the person that I'm with, I'm not gonna be with that person. Right. That's
Danny:a that's a that's a that's an interesting stand because I don't know if everybody would have that same stand. Right?
Tyler:No. No. No.
Danny:I think it's unique
Tyler:to me, and I'm I wouldn't I wouldn't suggest it for anyone. I think everybody's unique and you have to determine, like, ultimately, my relationship is up to me. Sure. Right? I agree.
Tyler:But my I I do have younger kids. Like, I have, you know, a 12 year old at home. I have a 16 year old at home. And I certainly would expect that that whoever I partner with is is participating in in that upbringing. And and and that's by live being a living example of what it's like to live in this world.
Tyler:Relationship dynamics are weird.
Danny:In the studio. That's 842, April 4th, and the podcast comes out, and sometimes you have
Speaker 4:to reset up and shoot an outro. So, Danny, thank you Yeah. For swinging by on your way home. Yeah. It's it's been crazy with testing our new equipment and and the learning curve behind the wheel.
Danny:Yeah. I'm super grateful for you to to keep working within our audience to to be patient with us because we we're trying to figure out ways to use the this to be wireless in other places because we have so many people that are willing to come on the podcast with us. Yeah. And, we record that and we watch ourselves. It's hard to put yourself back in the conversation.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. It is.
Speaker 4:It's a it's really difficult to put yourself back in the conversation and super just grateful for
Danny:for all that
Speaker 4:all that you said. And, like, again, I think it opens up where we wanna take the podcast. Like, why did we start it? I'd love to, you know, get out on the nuts a little bit and get out to the Red Sea tournaments and get out in the community Yeah. And take the podcast out of the studio.
Speaker 4:I love the studio, you know, when we when it's you and I just having a session, and we got space down here to have a guest. But, I think, again, like, getting the bus out there, it's gonna look so great in 4 k.
Danny:I hope you guys are appreciated in the 4 k. Yep. Thanks for being patient with it. Not at all. The the the podcast, as we were going on about mentorship and and how to take that up and and how to be involved as a mentor is so important to to me.
Danny:It's such a good part of my life. And I can't, thank the people that have allowed me to be a mentor in their life enough. Like, I I really am grateful for it because it's such a big part of my life. And when you those people around your children, especially where you are, like, like, we were talking about main character energy and, like Yeah. You know, stepdad or or step parent energy.
Danny:You know? And we wanna be able to have a cohesive, vision for each Yeah.
Speaker 4:Of your children. Exactly. It's so interesting as I've gone back to school and started some of my first course work. I'm like, they're they're emphasizing the structure of systems, and we look at these systems. Right?
Speaker 4:What systems are you putting in place? Like, we put in place systems to our daily routine, to our jujitsu routine. But, like, when we expand that, we actually have a family system. Right? And we have an open family system where we allow information in, and we have a closed family system that that doesn't allow a lot of information, where there's one person.
Speaker 4:And so I think it can be meant, like, I started this because I felt like I needed it, and I didn't know where to get it. And I just feel like I didn't resonate with a lot of the other voices that were out there. And so with this, the cool economy we're in, the social micro micro space economy, we can really develop content that's unique for our particular voice. So, yeah, hopefully, that resonates with people. Yeah.
Speaker 4:And
Danny:they'll be a little cut from when we were talking to the best to right now. Yeah. That the the overall, their job message is the same. Yeah. Right?
Danny:We have the same message that we have. We're learning as we grow. We had such a crazy night last night. Oh. I'm so tired today.
Danny:Oh, god. It's brutal. Just the fact that we have the academy as our own to ship and as our own place to experiment is is what I would like for other people, but also to be that, like, space for them and Yeah. That space for, as as you grow to have people in your life of of mentorship. Yeah.
Danny:And it was like took those those are my rest not my days to recover. You know? Yes. But but I was still excited today of, like, being like, let's go. I I like to I like I wanna keep going.
Danny:I wanna keep going. I wanna keep going. I wanna keep encouraging and keep putting my name out there and putting myself out there to to get better. I have not sauna ed in a little bit, and man, I was dying for a sauna to go. You know?
Danny:Yeah. And, I was like, I just think it was about a like, oh, when the sauna's so bad, that it it provides that space of, like, getting your mind right.
Speaker 4:It did so does. And I was lucky enough to hit the sauna a few weeks ago even though it kinda down on me.
Danny:Oh, yeah. That's right.
Speaker 4:But, I'm with you. Like, you forget the clarity that that brings, and and this is another this is another aspect of it, but you ruined that whole system. You ruined that system. All of it. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Because the sauna does it just provides something so unique. Yeah. Yeah. But it said, like, let's wrap it up then. Get get get back to bed.
Speaker 4:Like, man, last night was so brutal. It was, like, I thought I I donned me
Danny:a broken arm last night. It was crazy how how much energy was flowing in the academy and, like, how, people brought the energy. Yeah. And you could tell there's a different training environment last night. You know?
Danny:I got that's on the mat. That Yeah. That says something about what Mike has done Oh, yeah. In his in in his in his what he's done and the little talk that he gave prior to open mat, I think, kind of, like, got people in the mood Yeah. For training, and teaching and being a mentor and and, like, and having that part of your journey.
Danny:I think that is a part of men's journey is to teach, you know, to to to inspire, to to be a voice of, like, this is the path and Yeah. Come follow me and I can help you, and I'll give you advice and guidance, but it's just advice and guidance.
Speaker 4:Yeah. It's cool. I'm really disappointed about last night that he taught some really cool stuff, and I didn't have a single opportunity to use. But it's like it's pollution I guess. I find myself getting stuck in quite a bit.
Danny:Oh, yeah. That yeah. That was cool. I that's the first time I've seen those those things that he showed. Yeah.
Danny:When I got there, those those things that he's shown. I've never seen them before. Like, that was in that was probably I'm sure. Put that down. Like, wow.
Danny:That was kinda cool. Yeah. But appreciate the fact that, like, we're doing this. I appreciate you taking the time, to to put yourself in this brand new space. Yeah.
Danny:So I see episodes of, learning lessons, I'm sure, for you. Yeah. And, you know, I'm so nontechnical that I'm like, hey, man. I'm supportive. I've been your support system.
Danny:You know? Like, it's I was talking to you, and I was like, man, that's that was such a technical conversation. I was like, I gotta go early. Yeah. Hopefully, we can see it, but, like, we're slowly working at the the the you
Speaker 4:know, you see the statement behind us here. We've got wired equipment. Wired equipment, we've got dialed. Like, it's just such a good sound. Yeah.
Speaker 4:That same sound on our wireless equipment so we can be we can be mobile and and get out to events. And, like, I got my confirmation for summer camp, so I'd love to do an episode out at summer camp. Like, that's the kind of stuff that, I'm I'm looking forward to. I do.
Danny:I hope we're gonna have second to go out of the episode to kinda work out the last of the bugs and then, into guests after guest after guest after guest. I think that I'm gonna go ahead and try to line them up, so that we have a guest on each episode coming up. Yeah. And so, man, I appreciate Park City Wrestling. They allowed me to become an assistant coach.
Danny:I've got that coming up. That was an announcement. That was a big announcement. Oh, cool. Come on.
Danny:I can't remember if you typed about it in the beginning of the episode, but just so we're clear, man. Like, I'm excited, to to to come the coaching role Yeah. Of wrestling, but I really love wrestling. Yeah. And I've had I've had the confirmation that I was like, so just I'm sure I got a job.
Danny:Cool. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Just training, you know, trying to ease myself back into school. We're getting in November. Right? Like, Scooby thinks Scooby before we know it. It's gonna be the holidays before we know it.
Danny:And then flew by. Right? Yeah.
Speaker 4:I mean, this whole world has been, like, a blur. Yeah. Like, it feels like just yesterday was January. Yeah. Like, it I don't even know where the time goes.
Speaker 4:So just hitting that school, work, not the rink. Kids. Yeah. Nothing. Right now, just, yeah, just those things.
Speaker 4:Good. Just laying the foundation. Yeah. Alright. That's a good one.
Danny:Yeah. So that so that nothing topples. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.
Danny:Exactly right. Good. Exactly right. Shout out to maintenance. If you, If
Speaker 4:you haven't heard, we partnered with them as ambassadors. Their mission of high quality jujitsu gear for kind
Danny:of looking at you into stress on the back. It aligns so perfectly with what we do here, what we talk about
Speaker 4:on the podcast. Check out their their website. They just launched a new website. Looks pretty stinking good. You can, watch Boy Scouts for a 15% off, and they hook us up with a little bit to get cool new equipment, and, their their stuff looks good.
Speaker 4:Looking for sponsorships, looking for, collectible agents.
Danny:Yep. Looking for just ideas, great things. Even if it's like, hey. Do this with your audio. Help you this.
Danny:I I prefer you to be Yeah. I know. I really look. Yeah. I I and so grateful for the last 2 episodes for those of you that have been able to power through it.
Danny:It was I listened to the last one. It was great. I'm sure this was gonna be great as well.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. We'll get the audio sorted and yeah. Just appreciate you guys. Until next time, you know, we'll see you in the months.
