Letters to Future You: Reflections and Resolutions
Welcome to the last Boy Scouts podcast. We're back. We are in year 3.
Tyler:Year 3.
Danny:2025, Tyler.
Tyler:Yep.
Danny:Wow.
Tyler:I know.
Danny:It's been a couple weeks since we've, since we've got together and chatted.
Tyler:It has been.
Danny:We've seen each other.
Tyler:Yeah. We had an amazing Christmas. I just have to say, I had an amazing Christmas Eve at your house. Oh, dude. So much fun.
Danny:That was good.
Tyler:The food was amazing. Yeah. That was really good. To Dude. Yeah.
Danny:She does such a good job with that. She did an amazing job. She has perfected, that talent of being able to cook like that all day and make sure that, the food is done and prepared Yeah. In sequential order and then at the right time. Yeah.
Danny:Like, everything comes out at the oven at the right time. Everything is ready to go.
Tyler:It's a spread. It's a spread.
Danny:Joke, dude.
Tyler:But it was literally, I still I'm still dreaming about how delicious it was. Gosh.
Danny:It was good. So good. So thank you. We, that was a good time. Holidays are good?
Tyler:Yeah. I mean, pretty laid back. Right? I I didn't have the kids, so they showed up, Christmas day and hung out. We we started an incredible puzzle called odd pieces, and it's like the puzzle doesn't match the box.
Danny:Oh, what?
Tyler:And then, like, there's a story with it, and it tells the story. And then there's, like, inside the puzzle, there's, like, a secret message. Okay. And So it was a lot of fun, and we spent cool. Like, we cranked on it for 3 days, a 1,000 pieces.
Danny:No way.
Tyler:I bought one for my nephews. I haven't heard if they've they've started it. They started it. But Nick was a puzzle. He was kind of the puzzle pusher there, so they might not have, they may need some
Danny:That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. There's, like it's funny when you take a break, and I'm and, like, you know, we didn't take a break last year, and but and everything kinda felt rushed. We were always like you're like, man, it's the holidays.
Danny:Do we have time? And you're like Yeah. You feel rushed. So we took we actually took a break. We had planned to take a break of, like, okay.
Danny:We're gonna take this break off and then start at the New Year, right at the New Year and be, you know, back into our our groove of
Tyler:Back in the groove.
Danny:Of of every other week of podcasting.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:We had talked about, you know, podcasting multiple episodes in one night. We were doing it. We were brainstorming that, and then it was like, let's just let's let's take a break and and then come back together. Yeah.
Tyler:And we'll get there. I think we'll find our flow for this year, and I think, I think that we have big things now that we've got some things perfected. We've got the equipment perfected. I think we haven't shot outdoor yet. We have that whole outdoor Yeah.
Tyler:Remote setup perfected. So I'm, like, you know, I have big expectations.
Danny:Yeah. For sure.
Tyler:But I did. New Year's was a little bit more of a blow. I think I opened my letter to myself, and I was just like, Tyler, what did you what did you do? Wow. What did you do?
Danny:Yeah. So so to so going backwards, we you told me about this, like, write a letter to yourself of what you'd like to see in a year when you open that letter, look back over the year, and remember these goals, these expectations, these ideas that you were gonna do, and what you know, a letter to yourself. A letter to Danny, a letter to Tyler. I did it with my family. You did it with your family.
Danny:Yeah. And then you open that letter Mhmm. New Year's Eve or New Year's Day?
Tyler:Because we wrote them because they didn't have the kids on New Year's last year, we wrote them a few days later. I we opened them New Year's Eve
Danny:Okay.
Tyler:Just because it had had been like, we just wanted to read, and I wanted New Year's Day for them to, like, be able to sleep on it and write a new letter to themselves. And,
Danny:let's do you mind sharing the exact do do you remember what you wrote?
Tyler:I just I just put it back. I actually just stuffed it in my journal. I I had a lot like, I am a very ambitious person, I think.
Danny:Okay.
Tyler:I did write like, my theme for 2024 was strength, ambition, and persistence. I think I did a really good job, all things considered. I think I just have big old eyes.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:And I had big plans for Vessi. I had big plans for for work. I did great at work. I crushed my work goal, crushed, you know, some other goals, but there were some other areas where I was just kind of sitting and I was in the I I I spent the time purposefully kind of in some silence, right, to just kind of redefine what does that holiday period mean for me. So we go into the festivities of Christmas, and then we kinda go into the reflection of the New Year.
Tyler:And I I just was thinking, like, I am not really where I want to be in life. I'm not real and I started comparing myself to myself, like, what what I what I wanted. And I really I I have big plans. I wanna build a house. I have I know exactly a lot I wanna buy.
Tyler:I know exactly the type of house I wanna build. And here I am renting in a place where I'm like, I'm not particularly thrilled. My neighbors to a Christmas Eve party puked everywhere, and I'm like, I can't I can't do this like communal living. Yeah. You know, this has been a a lovely place to be given all the chaos that happened last year, but I'm like, I'm not nowhere near close on that goal.
Danny:Where where you where you had written to yourself of what you wanted to be? Yeah. Do you did you feel like you had failed?
Tyler:I don't know that I feel like I failed, but I definitely felt, like, really melancholy. Like, I really was like, did I not give this goal enough? Did I stay too much in survival this year?
Danny:Okay.
Tyler:And did I not give the goal enough attention? And in a lot of ways, I was feeling really hard on myself that I just kind of stuck myself in survival mode. I had a lot of unexpected expenses, you know, with with, you know, helping, you know, Nick's family and a a bunch of extra travel that I hadn't I hadn't planned. And and and just I don't wanna blame the economy. I don't wanna blame anybody but, you know, myself.
Tyler:But, like, I thought, you know, taking this corporate job, I would be in a little bit better position that I was in, and it looks like man, I'm I didn't I'm not destitute, but I'm definitely not like, I'm not putting away the box like I wanna put them away. So
Danny:did you see did you notice did you have an, the idea of writing a letter to yourself, did you have illusions of grandeur? Did you have, like, ideas of, like did when you looked at it, did you go, man, where was I at when I was thinking this?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Were you in this, like, really happy place of, like, stoke? Yeah. And, like, man, you're, like, you are trending up. Right? And you're not like, you're improving.
Danny:You're improving. And all you see is this upward trend, but you forget that there's always a pullback. Right?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Did you did you account for the pullback?
Tyler:I had a huge amount of momentum for Vessi at the end of 2023.
Danny:For
Tyler:sure. We had a ton going on in that in that realm. And whether I like it or not, like, Nick Nick's situation, definitely put that particular project on the back burner. Mhmm. And I didn't really learn what I wanted to learn last year, which was how to raise money for for an enterprise of that of that nature.
Tyler:Mhmm. I mean, I wanna know how my handsome ass great great grandfather sailed it, you know, across from wherever he came from to this country and was able to build whatever he built because you hear those stories all the time.
Danny:Right.
Tyler:Right? The money is out there for the right idea. And I and I I truly believe it. I truly believe that it is. So I I then start internalizing.
Tyler:I still I start personalizing. Oh, well, if it's out there, I just didn't do something right. And I and I realize that there's some flawed thinking, and I think you're absolutely right. I definitely had a bit of what they call magical thinking. Yeah.
Tyler:Right? Like, I there was just so much momentum. I mean a lot. Yeah.
Danny:Did you do you feel like you had growth? Whether it was good or bad. Like like, do you feel like there was growth last year when you looked at your letter and you were like, man, this tie this version of Tyler is now like, this version of Tyler that I'm looking at right now, the man that I'm looking at right now a year later.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:You don't realize until you look at that letter Yeah. What a year does. Like, what a year is. A year in a year in review. You can't do a year in review, that's 12 months.
Danny:But when you look at that letter, you know where you were at in that moment. And now is there, like, growth? Is there a new Tyler?
Tyler:Yeah. I I think absolutely. I think it took me a day or 2 to just kind of chat with some people and just to kind of reframe what I had wanted and and to realize, like, you know what, Tyler? You didn't really do that bad. And and even that's what I I say to myself in in the letter.
Tyler:I go, I but the last line I wrote in the letter was, like, even if none of this happens, Tyler, I'm still proud of you. I'm still you still have made incredible progress. And so, like, it just took me a minute because, like, the the initial shock of, like, oh. And then then there's kind of just some of the processing of, like, what what really happened? What do I need to do?
Tyler:Yeah. What where do I wanna go? And and that that I think that's all good. I think it it helped me write my 2025 letter with a little bit you know, you take some
Danny:eyes. Right?
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. You take some starry eyes out of it, and you're like Yeah.
Danny:Some more realistic expectations and goals of ideas. It, did you did the kids read did you read yours out loud, or did you read it internally?
Tyler:I just read it to myself. Okay. I don't know what Ben said. I do know what my 2 daughters wrote, and I'm really proud of what they they wrote. Little heartbroken by some of the stuff that was written in one of my daughter's letters.
Tyler:But, I mean, I think it was it's I think it's interesting to just kinda see into her world. I don't know if she knows that I read it. I'm sorry. Brynn definitely wrote read read to me her letter.
Danny:Oh, very cool.
Tyler:And and I'm super proud of her. She got straight a's. She's on the Dean's list. 4 point o.
Danny:Oh, so good.
Tyler:Right?
Danny:So sick. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler:And, like, the poor girl, she's really hard on herself, and I see a lot of myself in that inner Yeah. Because even she's called me now like this semester. She's like, dad, this is so hard. But she's at the she's at the point in her college career where, like, she's got she's a short timer. Right?
Tyler:She's got all of her classes.
Danny:Better have done what you needed to in college because your time's up. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler:Yeah. And which is sad because she's so young. Like, she's so young, but she's she's very studious. She's very good. And, like, I don't worry about her.
Tyler:I worry that she's really hard on herself like me, but at the same time, I'm like she texted me today and was like, this is too hard. I'm like, we've gotta reframe this. We've just gotta reframe this.
Danny:Did you notice when you right when you were about to open your letter, did you remember anything that was in that letter? Anything. Anything besides the fact that you I mean, you had written strength, ambition, persistence. Did you know that did you know anything that was in that letter?
Tyler:I didn't really remember a lot what was in the letter. Well, I take that back because I wrote my letter in 2 parts because I have, like, a 7 part like, the way I the way I really kind of do goals is I have a a physical goal, a spiritual goal, a mental goal, a financial goal. And it's not really goals, but it's like, these are what are gonna be kinda my themes.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:And and so I had written those out, and I kind of had documented those outside the letter because I wanted to track them throughout the year. But as far as, like, what, like, what I actually wrote to myself, I didn't I didn't
Danny:Isn't that weird?
Tyler:It is.
Danny:That was so weird to me. Yeah. So our Christmas Yeah. Was kinda melancholy as well. Yeah.
Danny:Only because, like, my boys are older.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Right? It's just Misty and I, and I worked the whole weekend because, or the whole the whole the the those whole days because in my mind, like, when my boys were younger, I took every Christmas off, every Christmas Eve off. So I was there at work with the idea that, like, there's other guys that have younger families. Yeah. And so, you know, we do our traditional Christmas Eve dinner, like you said, and Jesse, you came over.
Danny:And what a great I mean, like, that's to me, like, that that personifies my life.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:You know? We had you and Jesse over, and it was like family. Like, you guys are my family, and and Jesse is such a big part of our family. You're such a big part of our family. And that to me was, like, cool.
Danny:Right? And Mickey and I talked about that. That that that was cool to us. Right? We don't have Braxton home, so you can't really celebrate Christmas because it doesn't feel like Christmas.
Danny:Yeah. You're not around everybody. Right? We did have a we did, mend relationships with my family. So Misty and my mom and my sisters are talking again.
Danny:They went on that vacation, and and so that was really cool because we you know, you're like, now we're now we're we're we're, like, in that idea of, like, seeing each other. Yeah. And so, for Christmas day, we just kind of vegged out on the couch after I got home, and the 3 of us just sat there and watched a movie. And Yeah. It was pretty mellow, Not really crazy, and so we went to bed early because I had to work Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. At 4 o'clock the next morning. You know? And then I ended up going to a girl all girls tournament on Friday. So I didn't really have any time off of, like, just, like, thinking about things.
Danny:Yeah. Right? And the girls wrestled really well. They both took
Tyler:Cool.
Danny:6th, which was awesome.
Tyler:Because that was an invite only tournament.
Danny:Invite only. Yeah.
Tyler:And how many girls did y'all go to?
Danny:Just 2. We have the we have the 2 girls, and they both went down to a, it was a 6 it's the best 16 girls in the state that get an invite that accept the invite to wrestle, which was really cool. It was a really fun tournament, and, they both wrestled really well. Mhmm. And then, for New Year's Eve, we also cooked dinner.
Danny:We we did a nice dinner with me, Misty, and Tristan, and I think Tristan's friend come over for just a moment. I don't remember honestly about that, but that was cool. We just had a good dinner.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:I had to work New Year's Day. Mhmm. And at 11 o'clock, 11:30, all of a sudden, the fireworks start going off, and they went on till about 1:30 in the morning. Yeah. And I was so frustrated.
Danny:Oh, that's the worst. But we read our letters to each other on New Year's Day.
Tyler:Oh, cool.
Danny:So the 3 of us sat down, and we opened our letters, and we wrote we read our letters to each other. Mhmm. And so you you open your letters and both and everybody went, oh, wow. You know? And Tristan goes, I remember writing these things.
Danny:I remember writing these things. So he read his, and we were like, oh, it was really insightful. There were some things again. You were like, oh, I kinda feel bad what he wrote, that it didn't happen, but he's young. You know?
Danny:And and he, he you know, we kind of framed it as goals goals for the year, goals for your what you wanna do Yeah. And then questions. Did you accomplish this? Did you do this? Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. Cool. Did you do this? Yeah. Did you hey.
Danny:How's this? And one of his was like, hey. Did you get that purple belt? And he did. Right?
Tyler:Nice. Yeah.
Danny:You're like, man, that's you're like, cool. Like, that's a cool thing because you you think, like, what if he wouldn't have, you
Tyler:know Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:Gosh. And so he was cool. And Misty was and then Misty was like, man, I didn't write mine. I didn't I wish I would have done a little like, she's like, I wish I would have, like, taken a little bit more thought into this. Hers was really cool because she asked, did you forgive more?
Tyler:Oh, wow.
Danny:Did you forgive more? Did you forgive more? And then to have that whole experience that she did. Cool. You know, and have it, like, have that idea that her and my mom and my sisters, they all got back together, and that family mend that family bond was mended.
Danny:And, mine mine was I I wanted to be very realistic with my expectations and my goals. Mine had a lot of stuff about Spavezzi. It it had a lot of stuff on there. It also had a lot of stuff with my breathing platform. Did I breathe every day for 365 days, which for the most part I mean, like, I think I missed a couple days.
Danny:I don't remember. Less than 5 Right. Less than 5 days that I You
Tyler:kinda feel it, though. Right? Like, you you you you know or know of you. Like, you know the the the spirit is there. Right?
Danny:The spirit. What you know what else I put was, I hope you made it to to to now of being sober because I had planned Oh, yeah. That's right. Another year of sober Yeah. Sobriety.
Danny:Right? And I didn't. Yeah. I did not feel a pinch of disappointment, but I kinda was like Yeah. You know, I know that relationship with alcohol is important for me to remember that don't ever let it don't ever let it control me
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And always be in control. So if I wanna take some time off from drinking, take some time off from drinking. If I don't wanna have a beer after training, don't have a beer after training. Don't force yourself to do that kind of shit. And I I did also say, man, I hope you're a brown belt right now.
Danny:And that's all I felt was I hope you're a brown belt. And when I seen that, I was like, stoked. Yeah. Right? I was like, oh, I was so stoked.
Danny:And, there was some other stuff about the academy, and, you know, just some friendship stuff and, like, wanting to make sure that I kept my expectations low. Yeah. Which I think, like, this year, you know, I was, like, a little bit more when I wrote my letter this year, I was a little bit more, like, you need to do this. Yeah. Make sure that are you doing this?
Danny:Did you save one of mine was save $10,000. I did not save $10,000.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:But this year was like, you better you better be busting your ass and not spending money on bullshit. Yeah. Did you drive the bus for 2 weeks? And I did. I was like, yeah.
Danny:Fuck yeah.
Tyler:I did. Yeah. Cool. I was gonna ask if you did anything with the bus.
Danny:The very end, I put, I love you so much, Danny. I love you so much, and I love who you are as a person. And that to myself, like, when I read that, like, I got so teary eyed because I thought to myself, like, that's important as a man to to remind yourself. You I love you, Danny. Yeah.
Danny:Like, you're a good dude.
Tyler:How often do you do that?
Danny:So I love myself? Yeah. All the time.
Tyler:I try to say it before I try to say it to myself before I go to bed every day.
Danny:I love you. I love you, Tyler. Dude, it's so good. Yeah. Because a lot of times, I think, like, you know, you get into that idea of, like, gosh.
Danny:I'm so afraid to fail. I'm so afraid to, like, make mistakes. And then you're so hard on yourself. Nobody's harder on me than me.
Tyler:Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:Nobody judges me more than me. Yeah. You can't judge me as much as I judge myself.
Tyler:Exactly.
Danny:Right? But if you tell yourself, like, man, I forgive you. I love you, and you're such a good dude. I'm so stoked to be you. Yeah.
Danny:You know? One thing that I read that I've started to do is what would 85 year old, 86 year old Danny do? Yeah. What would he care about right now? What would 86 year old Danny care about what 47 year old Danny did?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And at 87, what would I care about? Would I care would this matter?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Would this matter that much? This guy this guy cut me off. Would that matter when I'm 85?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Do I care? Yeah. No. Fuck. No.
Danny:I don't care.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:No. No. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. When you're 85, you know that life is the you better not put any kind of, like
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Any kind of energy into bullshit.
Tyler:Yeah. I would a 100% agree. And I think that was definitely an an unexpected lesson from last year, especially, you know, thinking about Nick and how cut how everything was so cut short for him. So, yeah, it was definitely an unexpected lesson that I didn't write down on my my sheet that
Danny:Death is death is real. Right?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And so you know that. Like, you know, like, with Nick's passing, we it's so it's it's so fast how fast that happens. Yeah. It was February no. January?
Tyler:January 27th. We're coming up on a year.
Danny:On a year.
Tyler:And it's And
Danny:it's the 1st of the year. You still have 11 months.
Tyler:Yep.
Danny:Yeah. 11 months to go. Yeah. A lot happens.
Tyler:Yeah. A lot does happen.
Danny:But in one day, your life can be different. Yeah. And if you're not careful and if you're too hard on yourself and if you're too afraid to make mistakes, to fail, to to fuck up, and to to say the wrong thing, to do the wrong thing, all you are is just this self critiquing Yeah. Bastard that's, like, that's fake.
Tyler:Yeah. Life is meant to be a little bit of an experiment, I think.
Danny:I agree.
Tyler:Right? Like, you what is it saying? You learn more from your failure failures than your successes? Always. And I think that's absolutely right.
Tyler:I think that's what I needed to take away from from my letter last year was just like, I don't think I failed last year. Yeah. I didn't I didn't hit some of the things that I I was really hoping would hit, but, you know, that doesn't mean that opportunity is lost.
Danny:Mhmm.
Tyler:It just means you gotta retool. You gotta rebreathe. You gotta re refigure it out, refactor it, and and determine, like, what what is it? What how do we get there? And and that progress is a little bit more incremental.
Tyler:I said I'd have 3 stripes. I didn't get 3 stripes. But I also didn't make the 3 classes a week that I had also put down. Right. You know, I I did pretty good probably 222 to 2 times a week, but I didn't train as hard as I'd trained in the I've trained
Danny:in the past. Right.
Tyler:And that's and and that's on me. Right? Like and I can own that, and I can say, yeah. I can do better. That's something I can do better this next year.
Danny:Mhmm.
Tyler:And so, yeah, treating myself a little bit more grace and just kind of
Danny:You have to. Yeah. And then having goals is never a problem. Having goals is never a problem, but also seeing that failing is not fatal. No.
Danny:It's not fatal. No. The only time that it's fatal is when you actually quit.
Tyler:Yes.
Danny:If you actually quit. Yeah. Mike and I were talking about it today of, like, for me, I have no end. I don't see, like, an end
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Right, of something. I don't see an end. I don't see an end of of this. I see, like, always new beginnings, fresh new ideas, fresh new faces, fresh new looks of of how to see things. Yeah.
Danny:Today, I was letting people I was I was trying to figure out a way to get you to mount and then me go from there. Right? So it and sometimes it took me it took almost a couple of, like, minute and a half to convince people to go to mount because I think they were, like, here's a this is a
Tyler:trap. Trap.
Danny:You know? But I would be, like, lazily try to get myself into a position where I was, like, okay. As soon as they go mount, as soon as they mount me, go. Yeah. And and try to figure something out.
Danny:Right? Yeah. But there was a couple rounds where they like, people wouldn't even come to mount because I was thinking, they're so they're so thinking. They're so thinking too much of, like, that I have a plan. Yeah.
Danny:You know?
Tyler:Well, and and for the for the better part, you probably
Danny:you know what I mean?
Tyler:You do. You do have a plan.
Danny:And so I think about that in life. You know? Like like, always have a plan. Just have a plan. Just have a plan.
Danny:Have an exit plan. Have an exit strategy. You know? If I'm not comfortable
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:I have committed to work, a 100 days, like, no breaks.
Tyler:That was a good podcast. You sent me the the Alex from Ozi podcast. He does one at the at at the end of the year. And I got on the rowing machine, and I started listening to it.
Danny:A 100 days.
Tyler:This is great.
Danny:Just just work. Yeah. You know, it doesn't have to be, like, like, focused on one thing, but just no days off.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:No days off. I'm focused on, you know, really, really, really thinking before I spend money. Mhmm. Really thinking before I spend money. I am going on vacation because I can't and it'll be in that 100 days, but I'm like, I'll do some work maybe, but I'm going to Mexico.
Tyler:Well, define define the the work. Maybe the work is working on your relationship down there in Mexico or working on you know what I mean? Like, what is what is what is work?
Danny:What is it?
Tyler:Yeah. It can be multifaceted. Yep. It doesn't have to be necessarily the thing that makes you money.
Danny:Do you remember any goals that you've set for this Q1? Do you have any goals that you've set for the Q1?
Tyler:I have I'm coming up on a year on my lease and I'm my goal is to figure out what do I do next? I know it's kinda, it's kinda silly. Like I said, I don't, I don't love where I'm at. It's convenient. It works for my kids, but, like, we after being here for a year, having the community fill up a little bit more, it's not as it's not as it's not really what I feel like I need or what I want.
Tyler:So, yeah, I'm back on the ground. I've got my nose back to the grindstone as to whether or not I'm going to make a big decision. Part of me is thinking that perhaps I figure out how to move in with my dad or to just save some money for, like, 6 months. I really wanna like, I really want to build a home a a a true home base for myself. I don't I don't want to rent anymore.
Danny:Where do you see what do you see that as is, like like, your own house with its own with just you, like, in your and then being able to have the kids there Yeah. Every other week?
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. I would love and and and perhaps my goal of building a house, like, is kind of grandiose. Perhaps I'll refactor that and say, hey. Maybe I find something.
Tyler:Real estate up here and the market is so crazy. Mhmm. It's so crazy. Nothing is affordable. Nothing is affordable up here.
Tyler:And I think that's part of my like, I I kinda have a notice for real estate. I've been in, licensed real estate agent in 2 states. I've been a broker in 2 states. Like, it's always been a hobby of mine. I've never really been able to figure out how to make it a full time gig for me, but every real estate deal I've ever done, I've made money on.
Tyler:And so for me, like, even as though it's a hobby, it's like, I know I'm pissing away money and rent. I know I'm pissing away money and rent. And so I just have to figure out how do I get back into the game. Because to me, you look at, like, the old lords of of, you know, like, in the days. They were landowners.
Tyler:They owned land, and that's, like, that's still, like, very much the American dream. Mhmm.
Danny:And I'll be the devil's advocate. Do you see the ability to just pack up and go and not be tied to a place as opportunistic or as, like, beneficial because I own my house. Yeah. I live in my house. It's a beautiful house.
Danny:It's a beautiful house, but I sometimes feel locked to it. Yeah. I feel like if I don't sell at the right time or if I man, should I rent it out? Man, maybe I'm too attached to this thing to rent it out.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:I don't feel like I could just, like like, do that. I don't think I could be, like, 6 months go, hey. I'm gonna go somewhere else for 6 months.
Tyler:Having having, you know, purchased several homes, having flipped homes, one of the first lessons I learned in real estate and I wish I had done a better job with this in my own properties because you're right. When you fall in love with the sticks and the bricks, it it it starts owning you.
Danny:Right.
Tyler:Right? And so my my dream scenario would be to build something that I could potentially do, like, 6 months here and either short term or long term rent it out for 6 months. And so for me, that's like, I'm looking at particular spaces. Another option for me would be to have my main residence. I really wanna build an a frame.
Tyler:Like, I really wanna build an a frame. I want an a frame with a view. Like, people want oxygen. Do you know what I mean? So there's kits out there.
Tyler:Like, I've done my research. There's kits out there. You can build them fairly inexpensively. But if I could find a lot where I could put up an a frame with a view and a yurt that I could Airbnb every night, I would Airbnb my yurt, and then I would, you know, I would travel I would travel, you know, and and just leave my my my full time residence somewhat. You know?
Danny:Which is actually, like, another part of that whole thing because I'm my job is structured. Right? My job is structured. I I can't work from home. Yeah.
Danny:I drive to my work. Yep. I work, drive home.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Right? And so that idea of being able to get up and go Yeah. Is not realistic for me. Yeah.
Tyler:You know what
Danny:I mean? Oh, yeah. But I also still sometimes wonder, like, gosh. Should I just rent something? And then I'm not, like, married to it.
Danny:Yeah. Then I'm not stuck there. You know? But my wife is like, no. No.
Danny:My house is beautiful. Look at our house. Look at what we did. Look
Tyler:at our house. How would
Danny:we give this up? And I'm thinking, well, I feel like sometimes I'm stuck to it. I feel like I'm I feel like I'm married to my house.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:You know? And so that idea of just, hey. My lease is up. I can go. It's kind of, it's mesmerizing to me.
Danny:Yeah. You know? It's it's it's almost enticing to me.
Tyler:Yeah. I I think my definitely my, probably, pre Tyler was probably the same way. I remember my last house when I was married. Like, I was building what I thought was an investment, something we would fix up and flip. And my partner at the time was like, no.
Tyler:That was that was her domicile. That was her that was
Danny:her cast. Yeah.
Tyler:And and I I get that. I have no desire to have, like, a yard. I don't wanna mow a lawn.
Danny:I know.
Tyler:I have no desire to mow a lawn.
Danny:I haven't picked up my poop, my dog's poop, in months. And I all I think about when they go out there is like, oh my god. It's gonna be miserable out there. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:It's gonna be a nightmare out there.
Tyler:I have no I have no desire to mow a lawn.
Danny:No.
Tyler:And so so I I have I've had to change kind of, like, what my my feelings are. Now that could that's not to say that that couldn't change. Like, there's some things that they're, that are that are popping up. Like, I don't know. This is my first time in a townhome, like, in a row home.
Tyler:I don't know that I love it, but could I do it? I I potentially could do it if the the the deal was right, and I could just turn around and and rent it out. Like, get to a point where I've paid it down enough where I can then leverage it and move on to something else. So, you know, step my way up to that a frame.
Danny:Which is crazy to me because you have these options. Right? Yeah. And so, like, for me, like, my house is my option Yeah. Which brings me to my which brings me to the point of, like, it's funny how men's minds work
Tyler:sometimes. Yeah.
Danny:Like, you have this idea that you're like, I want to I want to settle my I wanna get a house, and I want this goal, and I'm and I'm have that, but I'm like, no. I want the rent. Yeah. I want you know, when we you have this idea of what I have Yeah. Is not the best thing for me, so there's something better for me.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:Which I don't know if that's true. I don't know if that's the case. And I'm not I'm I'm being devil's advocate, of course, for you
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Because of where I'm at in my life.
Tyler:I think that's good. I think it's good to look at problems from several different angles. You know, they they they do say analysis paralysis, but I think you have to I mean, that's why we do men's groups. That's why we we have other men. We need other men to kind of challenge our thinking and to make sure that we're we're not getting stuck on one aspect of it.
Tyler:Because I think my letter like, if I would've given you my letter before I've sealed it up in my envelope, would I have maybe not changed some things? Yeah. Would I have
Danny:not knew.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:Hey. What about this, Tyler? Yeah. Like, I'm critiquing. What do you do?
Tyler:Yeah. And I don't I don't you know what I mean? Like, one, you can't be so stuck in your ego where you can't listen to somebody else's opinion about what you're doing. Yes. Maybe you need to have some pride so you get it done, but, like, take the feedback for what it is and realize that, like, you can either process that feedback or you can say, you know, that's just some whack ass idea.
Tyler:I don't cool. Thank you. But, like
Danny:Yeah. I don't And the people around you you know, the other thing that I've I've committed to myself is, like, if that person doesn't service if he doesn't service my goals Mhmm. If they don't service my goals, if they don't if they don't improve my life Yeah. Or make me or challenge myself
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Then I'm probably not gonna be friends with you. Yeah. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them.
Danny:Yeah. I don't I don't wanna be friends with you.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And I it's not that I'm not I'm gonna be I'm gonna I'm not gonna I'm not gonna, like, be a dick to you. Right. But I'm probably not going to take my time Yeah. And, like Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. And find out what makes you tick. I've been that person
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Where I wanted to know everything about you, and I'm cool. I want you to think that I'm this nice guy and cool and all of that. Yeah. And now I'm like, yeah. I've done that.
Danny:But what I want is to be surrounded by men who challenge me.
Tyler:Yes.
Danny:Men who are way better than me.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Men who I can bring up Yep. And guys that I can chase.
Tyler:Yes.
Danny:Right? And be like, man, I want that. I want I want that.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:You know? And and how did you get there? Yes. And what can I do to get there? Yeah.
Danny:And then and then my friends, like, surround yourself with the best the 5 best deals, and let's go let's go take over
Tyler:the world. How to do it. Yeah.
Danny:You know?
Tyler:No. I think that's I think that's super ambitious. I think that's the right the right way to think about it. I think about the many years I kind of wore that nice guy mask. Right?
Tyler:Like, I don't know if you remember. Jerry Seinfeld does this whole thing about wearing a mask as a as a kid when he goes trick or treating and, like, it's got that cheap little plastic spring. It's, like, cutting into yours. That's what it starts to feel like. When you wear that nice guy mask and you're just constantly pandering to, you you know, other people to get them to like you, like, no.
Tyler:Fuck them. You need to stand on your own as a man. And and and you don't necessarily need to adopt other other people. You need to build your tribe like we've talked about millions of times, and and you needed to do you needed to determine, like, where do you stand? What do you stand for?
Danny:What are your values? Because if you're if you have good values Yes. I don't have to convince myself to like you. Right. I just have to make sure that my values and your values are somewhat aligned
Tyler:Right.
Danny:So that we don't bicker and judge each other about our values. Yeah. Yeah. Because there are values men have there are people that have different values than men. Yes.
Danny:I love my wife.
Tyler:Mhmm.
Danny:I will do anything for my wife. I will do anything for my wife. And if it comes with, like, hey. Let's go out drinking or hang out with Misty, I'm going to hang out with Misty.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:And and and there's are people that may not have that same, like, where they're like, man, I wanna go and I wanna go do something different. No. That then maybe maybe you're not maybe we're not friends. Yeah. We shouldn't be hanging out because you're going to make me do things that I don't want to do.
Tyler:You you want to surround yourself by people that lift you up. If your group is bringing you down, like, you need to have a serious come to Jesus conversation with yourself. Yeah.
Danny:If you're out partying
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Getting into bar fights Yeah. Doing stupid shit, chasing girls
Tyler:There's a place and time for that, I think, but you've got to eventually grow up. Right? Like, that's part of your learning and and maturing process. And it
Danny:may be who you are. Right. That's just not who I am. Right. You know?
Danny:And I don't need to hang out with you. Yeah. Yeah. And there are people that have figured out ways to make money financially on their own. Yes.
Danny:Right? And you should surround yourself with them.
Tyler:I what is this saying? You are the you are the the sum of the the 5 people you have with the most? Yeah. I totally agree. I definitely, this year, want to start surrounding myself with people that that, you know, one of the the deepest cuts I've ever gotten, one of the biggest insults anybody has ever said to me is, Tyler, you were never ambitious, and you hated wealth.
Tyler:And and and perhaps I did have some resentment towards wealth mostly because I did not have it. Right? Yeah. And I think a lot of people are like I mean, there what what is the, what is the balance? Right?
Tyler:Like, when do you start looking at, like, a George Soros or, like, even an Elon Musk, and you're like, fuck that guy. He doesn't need any more money. Right? And it's not that I'm, like, jealous, but, like, I love that we live in a system that that that you can do that. But, like, at what point does it become imbalanced?
Tyler:So you look at something like I I hate these megachurches that have, you know, 1,000,000 of dollars that don't have to disclose their their their banks. And then you see these pastors and their these priests, and they have lavish lifestyles, and they have private jets. And you're just like, I'm like, fuck them. It's not that I hate wealth. I hate that they've manipulated the system.
Tyler:Right?
Danny:Man, I would I wonder how that works because, like, let's say there's people that are finding loopholes. They do loopholes and they find this, like, loophole bullshit. And could you bring yourself to find loopholes when you start making enough money where you're like, I kinda need some fucking loopholes?
Tyler:Well, I mean, I think, you know, I think Apple was was was a big a a huge example of that. Right? Like, they had their whole they ran all their books through, like, Ireland or something like that to to to and and I think, cool. If you've got money and you've got a team that can that can figure it out, like, there was a level of transparency that they they had to abide by. Eventually, they got caught.
Tyler:And even still, I don't know what, like, what the repercussions were, but they're they're playing the system. It is a game. The game is out there.
Danny:What if you're the kind I mean, like, let's go I mean, like, let's go weird. Yeah. Like, what if you're surrounding yourself with all these wealthy people who have 0 morals because they don't they don't they can they can afford to have 0 morals, and all of a sudden you're like, what if I get to that point? You know? I'm terrified of that shit.
Danny:I don't wanna be famous.
Tyler:I I don't wanna
Danny:be famous. I wanna be I wanna be financially set, financially safe, which currently I am financially safe, financially set. There are so many more goals that I have, so many things that I want to accomplish. I want to be at 85 year old Danny, look back and been a successful businessman. I want it.
Danny:I know that 85 year old Danny will look back and be like, man, you you did what you wanted to do. Right. You know? And being a wrestling coach, being in jujitsu, being a podcaster, being an air traffic controller is pushing me towards those goals. Yeah.
Danny:But I don't wanna be immorally balanced.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:I do not wanna be I don't wanna be immorally balanced. I don't wanna be, over there with a bunch of baby oil
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And bullshit Yeah. You know, telling people what to do because I don't have any morals anymore.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And this is the only thing that makes me excited. I think Like, fucked up in my head. Yeah. That fucks me up.
Tyler:Dude, I think I I wonder I wonder if there there's, like, a level of money where it just becomes no fun anymore. Right? Like, there has to be a a leverage. I'm a big fan of Gary Vaynerchuk, who's a, kind of one of those wealth. He took he took his he was kind of the first in the podcast space.
Tyler:He took wine library. His parents owned a liquor store in back east. He took wine library, created basically a wine tasting channel. He'd taste the wine, spit it out in a bucket. He took it from doing a $1,000,000 a year to $5,000,000 a year.
Tyler:He says he says that, like, once you get to, like, 7 to $10,000,000, like, everything like, your life doesn't change significantly when you're at that, like, 7 to $10,000,000 to when you get to the 20 to 30 to a 100. But I wonder if there's, like, another jump where you just become more entitled. I think it's the entitlements
Danny:I don't know.
Tyler:I think it's the entitlement that that that scares me. I I or that that scares me, I will become. Right? I don't want to feel like I'm entitled to anything. I I want to go out there and make because I'm I'm able to make.
Tyler:And more importantly, once I get to that point, I want to be able to give. I don't wanna give to a point where it actually hurts.
Danny:Right.
Tyler:Right? Yeah. I want to, like, give till it hurts because at the end of the day, if I do somehow to manage to eke out a little bit of fame, the only fame I want is them to be naming a park after me or to say that, like, he served his community. He served his fellow man Yeah. In a way that that left a better spot.
Danny:Well, yeah.
Tyler:The world a better a better place.
Danny:With with money comes fame.
Tyler:Right.
Danny:You know, your people people will be envious. Right. There is jealousy. Yes. Yeah.
Danny:Yes. I see people who are successful businessmen, and I have that tinge of jealousy. Right. I see people that own their own business, and I'm like, what's the difference between you and me? What is the difference?
Tyler:Right.
Danny:Willing to take a risk, able to take a risk, the fact that you took a risk, the fact that you know a little bit more than me, the fact that you put all of your hedge into this situation and I didn't and I haven't. Right? There is that that is considered jealousy. That is, like, a little bit of jealousy. I still am stoked.
Danny:Yeah. I still remind myself to be stoked for you. Right. Because I don't wanna be envious. I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't want you to have a black belt and me be like, man, I wish I'd had that black belt, and I could kick the shit out of Tyler.
Danny:Yeah. So I should be a black belt. No. No. No.
Danny:I wanna be like, I am so stoked for you that you got your black belt. Yeah. And I I was a part of it. Right. Right?
Danny:And there's the where's that balance come from? That's that's where I think this year that I'm gonna try to figure out is I'm gonna try to find out what's the balance. What is Where does the balance come from? Yeah. I wanna be around you.
Danny:I want you know? But if you're in if you're if you're struggling and I can't help you
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:I don't wanna be around you.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. Do you
Danny:know what I'm saying?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Like, I'll still be your friend. I'll still hang out with you. But but if you're, like, if you're pulling me down because you won't need a you need a partner, Alex Ramosi says, everybody had a fucked up childhood. Yes. Everybody had a fucked up childhood.
Danny:If you wanna be the winner of the world's worst fucking childhood, guess what? You won. Yeah.
Tyler:Does it change anything? No.
Danny:I had a bad fucked up childhood too. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:But we don't have to do that. We could just be like, yeah. You had a bad childhood. I had a bad childhood, but here we are. Yes.
Danny:We have as men.
Tyler:Yeah. We have to change the stories. You're right. You know? One of my mentors, John Kim, like, he just suffered an incredible tragedy.
Tyler:He I don't know if have you heard the about the fires in in California?
Danny:I've seen videos of it. I thought it was AI.
Tyler:Yeah. Los Angeles is burning.
Danny:That's insane.
Tyler:It's literally burning. His house
Danny:Hills or some shit, which I've actually looked at because it's, like, kind of like it's a big area.
Tyler:Yeah. He he goes by the angry therapist, and we've talked about him time and time again.
Danny:Yeah. For sure.
Tyler:He's been a mentor of mine for several years. His house just completely burned down.
Danny:Gone.
Tyler:Just gone to the ground. His whole neighborhood, he's out showing his neighborhood. He's got a GoFundMe up. So if you can follow the angry therapist and and, you know, you're into giving, like, there's people that have suffered incredible tragedy.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:And and, I mean, that's what like, you it just happens. Like, it happens overnight. Like, it just can in an instant can change.
Danny:You you're crazy to think that life is not fucked up. Right. Life is fucked up.
Tyler:Right.
Danny:You you are going to have suffers. You're going to struggle. Right. Right? You are.
Danny:You definitely are.
Tyler:And and I I guarantee it. You'll watch somebody like him who has has built from a place of authenticity. He will build back stronger. He will build back bigger. He will become back just as strong, and, like, my heart goes out to him and his family.
Tyler:I can't imagine what it would be like. We've had fires here in Heber that that came close to our house, but, like, how quickly that can just change everything. And the the just the the the complete enormity of it all.
Danny:Yeah. And you don't realize it, but you probably look at it and go, I'm alive. Yeah. Thank god I'm alive. Thank god my family's alive.
Danny:We can rebuild. Yeah. We can rebuild. Right? Yeah.
Danny:And so, that's that that was so important to me this year too. I was so grateful that you showed us that letter thing and so, like, grateful to look back on our life because nothing changed for me, like, with my friendships with you and with with my family, with my boys, with Misty. My boys are healthy. Misty's healthy.
Tyler:Yeah. You
Danny:know, we we definitely are in grind time right now with wrestling, with work. We have not had a good vacation for a moment, but I think, like, that's just going to build us stronger. It's going to build our ability to accept this life that we have, that we've that we've built. Yeah. You know?
Danny:I may be envious of some things. You know? I may be envious of this some things. But at the end of the day, like, I'm happy with I'm happy with what my life is. I'm I think that my wife and I have the same goal.
Danny:Like, our our goal is to build ourselves up and build this, like, lifestyle and this life that we have. And then when we go on vacation, like, vacation, like a motherfucker. Yeah. You know?
Tyler:Same team.
Danny:Yeah. Same team.
Tyler:Same team. Yeah. And I I mean, it's beautiful how that little saying, like, it it it it's not only the times when you are you're disagreeing, but it's, like, when you are actually planning and doing life together. Like, that's that is that's that's very beautiful. Question, did you have anything about wrestling in your letter?
Danny:No. No. Am I this year or the last year?
Tyler:No. No. Crazy.
Danny:Yeah. Crazy. I honestly, honestly believed that I was done with wrestling. Yeah. I believed it.
Danny:When they pulled me back in, you know, I'm I'm I'm trying to teach these parents, trying to teach these kids, trying to teach this coaching staff, like, to have have standards. You know? One thing that Mike and I talked about today in our academy was I love the standards. Mhmm. I love the standards.
Danny:You stay for 20 rounds. Mhmm. If you're not staying for 20 rounds, good. But there's a out. There's a way to get out.
Danny:Yeah. You just don't get out and go. Yeah. Right? The white to blue.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. The black belt tests. Yes. The the way that you treat Mike, the way that you treat each other, there's a standard in that academy.
Danny:So in my in the wrestling room, like, I'm trying to create a standard. Yeah. It takes a time. It takes it takes a village of people. Right?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:But, yeah, I I I I now am glad that I'm coaching wrestling. Yeah. You know, it's fun.
Tyler:Yeah. You you can see that, like, the the that your passion for it. And Yeah. Congratulations. You were on you were just on Yeah.
Tyler:Radio KPCW. K KPCW.
Danny:Yeah. Thank you.
Tyler:A cool a cool article that came out in a cool little
Danny:It's going people, like, come and, you know, like, they're like, hey. I heard you on KPCW or, like, hey. My friend said they heard you on KPCW. You know, like Yeah. Then you're like, there is a level of fame, you know, that you make.
Danny:Right?
Tyler:You know, I mean, there's nothing wrong with with working in your community.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:Right? Like, it's your common unity. You live here. Yeah. Right?
Tyler:You want to to build it. You want to
Danny:You wanna be a part of it.
Tyler:You wanna you wanna you wanna leave your mark. For sure. And I think that I think what you were doing isn't like, I'm I do miss coaching. I miss having the influence on the the the young minds. Yeah.
Tyler:Right?
Danny:They're so fun to be around.
Tyler:They are. Adults suck. They kinda do.
Danny:It's like
Tyler:they're it is. It's like their brains have become less plastic. They're less flexible. Yeah. Yeah.
Tyler:It's they do.
Danny:They're only self servant. You know? It's all about them. Yeah. Kids are awesome to be around.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Did you when you look back and you're, like, now and you and you you're moving forward. Right? You're moving forward with things. Is there something that stands out that you say, this will change? I will change this.
Danny:I will change this about me this year, and I want somebody to and I want to to put that out there so that if if I'm not there, I want to be like, hey, Tyler. Don't forget what you what you want to change about yourself.
Tyler:That's a great question. That's a great question. I don't know that I was forward thinking enough to actually put something like that down Not to think on that one. And, like, I'm probably might have to write an amendment
Danny:Right.
Tyler:To my to my letter because I think that's important. Right? Like, I think my goals right now are I think one of the areas where I was very disappointed was my, like, my fitness and my jujitsu. Right? There was a couple week weeks prior to the end of the year where we had a bunch of drop ins and just some monster rounds.
Tyler:I mean, the amount of people that have been in the gym lately I don't know if it's the new year. I don't know if it's the end of the last year. But, like, there are people that are coming out of the woodwork. And I'm I've just come to the point where, like, I need to get to a point where whatever I'm doing outside of the the gym helps me function better in in the gym. Sure.
Tyler:You know, I I wear a blue belt, so I'm still a target for some of these white belts. Like
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:Tonight, man. Tonight was some crazy rounds. There's a a a white belt that that came back after a long time, and he's just like, he's chiseled. Yeah.
Danny:Fucking But you grab his back. It's like Yeah. It's like a handle of muscle.
Tyler:Yeah. And I'm like, I he's technical. He's good. But, like, there you can tell that he's also compensating with some some physicality.
Danny:Oh, shit.
Tyler:Which which for me, like, I I I'm starting to know my game a little bit better. I'm starting to know where I really excel. But I got to a point where I'm like, I can't match his energy. I have to just maintain position.
Danny:Yep.
Tyler:So I got in mount, and I just held on like I was riding fucking Fumashu and needed 8 seconds.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:And and and and for me, like, that was it. Like, that's all I could do. It took me it took it just took that's what it took my 40 year old 43 year old body to get to to to get to that position, and I was happy. I was happy with the outcome. Yeah.
Tyler:I didn't need it to happen. I maintained the position that I got to the position I wanted to get to when I maintained it.
Danny:Do you have fourth thought forethought enough to know, like, things that, like, you could see Danny improving on? Like, that you could be like, this is something that I think you can improve on. Do you have enough forethought with that? Or is that one of those things that you, like, get I don't think it's my place.
Tyler:I think if you brought me something and said, hey. No. It's not my place to tell you what to fucking do.
Danny:Right.
Tyler:I I I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't want to. And what good would it do for me to project onto you what I think you should do?
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:I am more than willing to partner with anybody who's willing to do the work and help become a battle buddy and an accountability buddy. Sure. Like, I love that idea, especially if there's some alignment in in what we're trying to do. Sure. Like, in our jujitsu game, like, you drive me to go.
Tyler:You drive me to keep going. You drive me to get better. You you drive me to think about, like, think about the big picture, and then, also, how do I apply what I learned in the gym to what I learned in my real life? And I love I love that aspect of our our relationship, but I would never go as far as to project you you need to change something.
Danny:That's good. That's a good thought. And I and I appreciate that because, like, sometimes, like, in the moment, you could be like, hey. This is like, hey. Like, you know, don't like, be cooler.
Danny:Be be a better be a better this. Right? And that's important to have friendships like that. Right?
Tyler:I think I think that's I think that's a little bit different. Right? Like, if you're if you're experiencing some maladaptive behavior and you wanna help bring that up, like, that's that's different. But, like, for for for most for the most part, like, we we've we've covered that. Like, if you're somebody that has that type of behave like, if your behavior doesn't align with my values, my morals, like, I'm not hanging out with you.
Tyler:Right. I'm not I'm not I'm not putting myself in that position where I have to correct your shit time and time and time again.
Danny:Right.
Tyler:Like, I don't have patience for it anymore.
Danny:Yeah. One thing that I, that I one thing that I worked on that I needed to work on a lot was defending defending my people, like defending Misty, defending the boys, defending my friendships, defending you. Right? I would tend to, like, watch what you would do and then tell you what you should do as opposed to be like, no. I'm defending you.
Danny:Like, if somebody says something bad about you, I'm defending you. Don't talk about them like that. You know, don't talk about Misty like that. Yeah. Misty is this.
Danny:Misty is that. And I'll and I'll stick up for her right away. Yeah. I'll stick up for Tyler right away. I'll stick up for Jesse right away, you know, now.
Danny:And that's something that I worked a lot on. I worked really hard to be, like, better at that.
Tyler:I mean, that I think that's definitely hard. You you wanna protect that that stuff that's valuable too. I think that's that's, again, an an ingrained like, that's the protector in us all. Yeah.
Danny:And
Tyler:we don't always do I I I don't always do the best job.
Danny:And not be, like, aggressive male, like, wanna fight, but just be, like, stern. Like, yeah, you can't talk about that person like that. You know? Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:This year, one thing that I want to really, really work on is, not be fake with people. Like, if I'm if if we don't get along, I'm gonna be like, hey, man. Like, I'll just kindly remove myself from the situation. But Yeah. A lot of times, I know that I am fake smiling, fake bullshitting with you Yeah.
Danny:Because I would just rather be nice and kind instead of, like, walk away from you. But this year, like, if it doesn't serve me purpose, if you don't serve me purpose, if if I hear of something that I don't like about you, I'm gonna kindly remove myself from the situation. I'm not gonna be mean to you. I'm not gonna be mean to you. Yeah.
Danny:But I'm going to, like, disassociate or probably find ways not to hang out or do things with you because I don't wanna be around you. Yeah. And that was a goal to myself that I'm really gonna try to hold myself to. And and if most people know me, know how hard that is for me because I pride myself on being very social Yeah. Very likable.
Danny:You are
Tyler:very you are. You are. You are very social.
Danny:Very likable.
Tyler:Think that's I don't think that's necessarily a wrong thing either. Like, you can't be real friends with fake people.
Danny:I agree.
Tyler:And it's and and, you are very good at being kind and polite to people and giving them their space. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And I think that's honorable that you would you'll say, I'm gonna walk away from that bullshit. I'm gonna walk away from that bullshit. I'm probably gonna make fun of you.
Tyler:Yeah. Whether it's to your face or behind your back, I'm probably gonna make fun of you. If I think you're fake, if I think you are it's probably not a good thing for me. I probably should work on doing the opposite just, like, walk just walking away. But if I think you're full of shit, I'm I'm I've been in this I've been in the mindset where I'm I'm telling you I'm telling you you're full of shit.
Tyler:Like, I think you're full of shit.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:And maybe it'd be better for me to just walk away.
Danny:Yeah. For sure. Well, that that was amazing. I'm glad we got to re rehash everything. You know, I can't say enough, like, what Nick's passing did for me.
Danny:Yeah. You know? And I know that as these episodes come out, like, we'll be closer to to the year anniversary. And Yeah. And I'm here for whatever you need.
Danny:And, you know, you tell your mom, like, I'm here for her and stuff, you know, and it it definitely changed. It definitely changed our life. Yeah. And it was so fast how fast sorry. It was crazy to me, and it was eye opening to me how fast it happened
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And how fast, like, the direction shifted for Yeah. For everything and everybody around. And it's a bummer that that's the thing that changes you.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And I hope that, like, we live our lives going, is this does this matter to will this matter when we're 85 years old?
Tyler:It's so
Danny:What if we don't make it to 85 years old? Yeah. You know? And that's what that show that's what that taught me.
Tyler:It's so it's so interesting because I was I was talking to one of the the guys in the, one of the guys in the gym as we were leaving. He was telling me a very similar story. You know, 35 year old coworker of his has literally nearly drank himself to death. Dude's sitting on life support right now. You know, and they're like his crew, the crew that he works with, shout out to Berg daddy.
Tyler:Like, they know you listen. Like, that sucks to watch, to be in that position. And I don't know why it's gonna coincide. We're talking about this. End of the year, beginning of the year.
Tyler:I mean, it doesn't make it any better if it happens later, but, like, these are all about rebirth and, like, re like, resolution and and starting over, but, like, to be stuck in that space and how quickly shit can change Mhmm. It it it sucks. But at the end of the day, you've gotta to you gotta look at it and you gotta say, okay. How do I become a better man? Yep.
Tyler:He's not here. He's not here, but how do I become a better man? And this gentleman that's on on life support, I hope, you know, his family doesn't have to make terrible decisions. You know, I I it it sucks. It sucks.
Tyler:And I'm grateful for friends. I was the one thing that I wrote down. My my word of the year was gratitude. I'm grateful to have been in your home on Christmas Eve, and, like, I was looking at how do I redefine what does this holiday mean for me? And I left your house.
Tyler:I know I kind of I kind of snuck out of the back though. I did the old Irish exit, but, like, I walked out of there with so much gratitude that I just felt like my heart was full. Yeah. My Christmas Eve could not have been more complete, and I and I was just fueled for the rest of the holiday. Stoked.
Tyler:So Yeah. Appreciate you.
Danny:Appreciate that.
Tyler:To 2025, it's gonna be a kick ass.
Danny:Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Let's see let's see what the goals come up. Let's see if we can, let's see if we can make stride in Yeah. In our lives.
Danny:And, hopefully, we make we continue to make strides in the podcast world where where man, every every person that I listen to, every person that I talk to is like, you guys should be so proud of yourself Yeah. For how long you've made it. Yeah. The fact that you're still doing it. Yeah.
Danny:And 5 years, 5 year cusp, 3 to 5 year cusp is when you really make those strides Yeah. Really make those big gains. You know? We're approaching, you know, like, gosh. We're we're we're we're hitting that stride.
Danny:You know? And Yeah. I think that that it only is gonna get better from here Yeah. With us and the men that we the men that we have been able to to reach is just gonna grow and grow and grow. And and one day, we're gonna be, you know, people that can really help men Yeah.
Danny:And improve their lives. You know? And I hope that we're doing that now.
Tyler:I I I hope we're doing that that that too. If we were to have one goal for the podcast of the year, what would you want it to be?
Danny:I want it to be I want it to reach more. I want it to I want it to expand. I want it to reach more. I want to be I want people to constantly be talking about it and sharing it. Mhmm.
Danny:And I want our listener, our listenership to go through the roof. Yeah. And the sharing, and people, like, really share
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Share our message.
Tyler:Dude, nobody has ever come to me and said, oh, it's you guys are doing such a shitty job. Like, I'm surprised that nobody like, I'm sure I know I've got a couple haters out there. Yeah. I know I got a couple haters out there. But nobody's ever come to me and said, like, hey.
Tyler:You're you're doing it. So if you enjoy it, do us a favor. Like, subscribe. Do do the things that you know will help share the message. I'm gonna add I wanna get a guest on.
Tyler:I want we've been talking about guests. We've had we've flirted with the ideas. We had ATC Jeremy on last year. In addition to to growing, I would love to have some guests on, so hit us up. Yep.
Tyler:We're here to we're we're here we're here as a community. Yep. We're here as a community because our voice
Danny:Excuse me.
Tyler:Resonates with what however you're feeling. So hit us up. If you wanna be a guest on the show, you know, you have some ideas on who might be a good guest, we're we're all grassroots. For sure. I think my my goal for this is just to bend to just keep chugging along.
Tyler:Yeah. I just love it.
Danny:I love it.
Tyler:Live these sessions. They're they're they're therapeutic.
Danny:For sure. I appreciate you.
Tyler:Yeah. Appreciate you.
Danny:K. Let's, until the next time.
Tyler:Till the next time.
Danny:Appreciate you guys. Cheers. See you guys.
