Gratitude, Grit, and Going Home
Welcome back to the Lost Boy Scouts podcast. Yes. Back in studio. What does that mean? Back in studio.
Speaker 1:Cossack studio. Right? We're above the studio? Mhmm. Means I'm home.
Speaker 1:Home. Means I'm home. Made it thirty days in the hospital. Was it thirty days? Did you did you To the almost to the day.
Speaker 1:Wow. They would've been if I would've stayed one more day, would've been thirty one. Wow. Then the doctors have their They stopped you. I'm a little bit of a bubble boy still.
Speaker 1:Not really allowed to be shouldn't really be about I don't have that huge System. Yeah. Is it just because the poison is still in the system, or is it because your immune system's so low? Yeah, they knocked the immune system down so low that I still have, you know, there's just, there's nothing there, there's no antibodies, the free antibodies, that's what really keeps you healthy. Are you to be taking probiotics then, as we speak, or what should you be like?
Speaker 1:I don't really know. They gave me a list of stuff I can't do. They didn't really can't be around people to cough. Get rid of it. Rid I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I mean, yeah, really, like, I should keep myself separate. It's really like COVID restrictions. A little bit, right? Like, keeping my distance from people. I wear a mask, like, I went to the office today and I wore a mask.
Speaker 1:Okay. I made sure that everybody was healthy when I was in, like, the only reason I went is because we had a big big meeting today, like, big quarterly meeting. I think for everybody's morale, they were all hyped that I was there. Wow. What a crazy Dude, I didn't tell you, Tom.
Speaker 1:Thursday, Thursday, like, the day I was supposed to get discharged, I'm so excited. Like, Do you know? They've been kind of alluding to, the nurses have been kind of alluding, obviously it's up to the attending physician. The biggest thing was, on Tuesday, I had my second bone marrow biopsy, that's where they drew a year back, they take some bone marrow, and they send it off to a lab, that test takes two to three days to get the results back from. So, it was looking like I was healthy enough Monday, my ANC had jumped, all my other counts were looking so good, We were just kinda waiting for my ANC to kinda get to that level.
Speaker 1:Well, Monday, it hit point seven, which is huge. We had the goal of point five. And it went to point seven? Point seven. Woah.
Speaker 1:It kinda knocked down to point six, the doctor's like, No, I thought point seven was kinda high, like, it's fine, we're right in that range. Tuesday, '6, she's like, let's do this bone marrow biopsy, so I had to fast all Monday night, I'm fasting, fasting, fasting, and take me down, like, at 3PM. I've been basically fasting since nine 9PM in the night. Woah. Which no big deal, right?
Speaker 1:But you're like, food is all I was really looking forward to in the hospital. Like, that was the not the hospital food, but all the Yeah. That was your that was your that was your pinnacles of the day. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Like, what am I gonna order? That and that they they started letting me go outside a little bit more. Okay. But I think they could tell.
Speaker 1:Right. That Tyler was walking laps around the nurses station, and they were like, Tyler's got the zoomies. Tyler's got the zoomies again. So, Thursday rolls around. I like, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:I'm like, I gotta tell the kids. I haven't tell the kids. I wasn't going to tell the kids. I'm not gonna tell the kids. Wednesday night, I'm like, I call them.
Speaker 1:I'm like, guess what? Everything's looking like I'm gonna get out tomorrow. Everything is looking like I'm gonna get out tomorrow. Okay. I'm getting out.
Speaker 1:Tell my dad, tell my mom, kept it. Just those few people, you know, people got that info. Thursday runs around and, you know, the doctors are all in rotation, so I have four or five doctors, every doctor has either a PA, a physician's assistant, or an LPN. Okay. Everything is flaky chappy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a whole another story. Everything is chappy, Everything is, like, flaking off. Yeah. Well, anyways, the LPN comes in Thursday morning, he's like, yeah, just my interpretation of the interpretation of the charts is, you your blasts are still way too high for you to be leaving today. And, like, I think the it was like the air got knocked at me.
Speaker 1:Like, in the wind knocked at me. And I had Nina back, Nina whose kids are down in Park City, I her that day, and she's like I she she came in the room to take my vitals or something, and think she could tell that it was, like, it was dark. Yeah. It was grumpy in there, and so, like, I'm calling my mom, I'm calling my my dad, I'm like, I guess I shouldn't have told the kids, and she comes in, she's like, don't listen to him, wait for the attending to get here, they know how to read the charts better, and so, about two or three hours later, he comes back in The same guy? Same guy, and he's kinda got his tail between his legs, and he's like, yeah, I was actually reading the wrong chart.
Speaker 1:And then, was just like, immediately, he was like, back up. I'm like, hell yeah, we still might be getting out here today. He was really embarrassed. He came in, he owned he owned the mistake. Okay.
Speaker 1:And then, finally, my the main doctor, the doctor that checked me in when I first got to the hospital, originally, she came in and she's like, do you wanna go home today? I heard you had a little bit of a Yeah. She was? Yeah. Had a little bit of roller coaster ride there, and she's like, let's get you out.
Speaker 1:Let's get you out today. So I pulled my pick line, mom came and picked me up. What did you think, like I mean, what a fast, surreal experience. Correct? I mean, like, it's surreal.
Speaker 1:Right? But but surreal for me because, like, it only seems like yesterday that I see Right. With the bruises, right? Yeah. And then it was like, hey, I'm on my way to Yeah.
Speaker 1:The cancer ward, I have leukemia. It seems like it was just yesterday. It Right? It seems so crazy fast. When I look at, like, the whole thirty days, I was like, that was probably the fastest thirty days of my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Living it, like, sitting there tied to those machines was terrible, and, like, huge credit, you know, if you follow the substack, I wrote a huge thank you to them, huge credit to the nurses, and the staff, and people that came and visited me. Man, I, there wasn't a day that really went by where I didn't have to visit somebody there, Somebody there. That was awesome. I mean, you were there.
Speaker 1:Mean, Preston showed up, you know, my dad would stop by on his way to work, and I I had kids I went to high school with that I've been friends with that showed up. Really? I had a buddy from Arizona I went to high school with. He's like, hey, heard you're out, but you're gonna come hang out with me for a couple days. That's insane.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, man. And and, you know, you were still probably a little overwhelmed by it all too, because, like, it's still you're you're still living this this nightmare of a scenario. Truthfully. Yeah. A nightmare of a scenario, like, it's not like you were, like, all happy, go lucky, normal Tyler of, like Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Jovial spirits Yeah. Stoked. There was times when I'd call you and I'd like, oh Yeah. A rough day here. Or a text message Yeah.
Speaker 1:That would come through and it's like, oh, yeah. He's kind of in a moment. Right? And you can tell, like, when people are in a moment, but rightfully so. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, how crazy that thing was. Like, to be told that you have cancer the way that it was. Right. Just how quickly it escalated. How quickly it was.
Speaker 1:I mean, the day that I seen you, the bruising, and the way that the bruising looked, the next time I seen you was like, wow, this is real. This is a real life situation that, you know, we're not prepared for as friends, as brothers, as world that we live on Right. And this world that we live in with together, right, like Yeah. Where we are, for all intents and purposes, best friend and Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Brothers. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And we know so much about each other, but it was weird to be like, oh, he's down in Salt Lake.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You know, and I'm here and here, my life is going on. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and you know that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. People know that your life is going on, but Yes. Your life stops for a moment. Yeah. Like, and frozen and frozen.
Speaker 1:It felt a lot like I mean, to be honest, it felt like COVID. Yeah. Right? Like, that's the only thing I had to compare it to. It felt like I was back in the COVID times, locked down, isolated.
Speaker 1:Even to leave my room, I thought I could have, you know, the mask on, the gloves on, and my my little little smock on. I remember watching people walk around. And you know what's what's even tougher to swallow sometimes is you're not the worst case No. In that in that hoard. And and to be honest, it was one of those things where it was, you could see those people, and I could just I could just be grateful.
Speaker 1:I could be grateful that, like, well, I mean, to to backstep, like, you do you watch three fourteen? No. The UFC three fourteen? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. And then, you to just to watch the the Volkanovski Yeah. Yeah. Lopez fight, and the first thing out of Volkanovski's Adversity is a privilege.
Speaker 1:Adversity is a privilege. Yeah. Like that, I mean, as if I've I've had the there was nothing I could do to fix it. I just I just had to face it. Sure.
Speaker 1:But I could see these other people, and I could say, thank God I don't have what they have. Thank God I don't have, I'm not getting a bone marrow transplant. Thank God I've not had them to get radiation therapy, you know. Yes, they are dumping arsenic poison into my body. I've got a two week break between now and when I start my outpatient treatment, but, like, I am blessed to not be, not to be When, you know, you can see, you know, when you're in the cancer ward, you can see all different walks of life and all different walks of what people are going through, you know?
Speaker 1:It's somber moments for family members, because I came in there and I've got treats and gifts, and I'm happy to see my friend who I know is gonna be happy to see me, but you'll walk around there sometimes and you'll see somebody and you're like, that person is probably pretty bummed out by the look on their face, by the way that they're carrying themselves, by their demeanor, that they're not happy, and then most likely that their loved one is going through something that's very, very scary. When you walk past and you can see, you know, in that ward, could see in people's rooms sometimes because their blinds would be a little open and you're looking, and that person is, like, staring off. You know, I remember this one. I still clearly, vividly, the person to your like, if I'm looking at your door to your left, I can see in that room. I'm not sure what they had or what they did.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. But I remember looking in there a couple times when I was there Mhmm. And they were staring off to the distance in this, like, just this gaze of, like, staring off, and it almost looked like, gosh, man. I'd to give that person a hug because Yeah. It looks like they're just in the moment.
Speaker 1:Right? They were that that that young lady that was there, I ran into her a couple times in the hallways as she was walking her laps, she always had visitors, but, yeah, she was definitely going through a hard time. There were moments when our doors would be open at the same time, and you hear her just in there, just moaning, just miserable. I don't know exactly what she had. What I do know is that, like, Utah, both at University of Utah, the Munson Center, and then where I was at LPS, they're two of the best in the country as far as blood borne cancers are concerned.
Speaker 1:And yeah, she was in a bad way. The only people that were possibly worse than us was, there's a little room just before you went into my little area, that's an anteroom, where it's negatively pressurized, like all of our rooms are positively pressurized, meaning, like, they're kind of sealed off, right, like, it's actively, theirs were like negatively sealed off, so like, they were really, like, in a bubble. They were, like, in a bubble because they had something like pneumonia or COVID. They had, like, a sickness on top of Top of their sickness. On top of the sickness.
Speaker 1:Oh. And you never saw those people. I never I never saw them come out. The nurses would go in there in full Vietnam. Full go, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And the, you know, then the experience, when you look back on it, is best case scenario for Yeah. And, also, like, a wake up call of, you know, call to arms of what you need to do going forward, right? What you, you know, like, hey, man, like, life is fragile. We know that.
Speaker 1:We know life fragile. We've talked about death before. Talked about fact that we understand that life is fragile, that we've had crazy experiences, sometimes your way of dealing with things is cracking the joke or something. Yeah. And, that's not always the right answer.
Speaker 1:Right. Cracking jokes is funny, but it's not always the right answer. Yeah. Right? Sometimes we need to be a little more sensitive to the fact that life is fragile, and this moment of time that we just went through was a pretty fragile time of our life.
Speaker 1:It's different, right? We faced mortality with the loss of Nick, right? And I thought, here we are, I'm done. I've thought extensively about what I would do losing a brother. And now I'm faced with this actual disease that has a five percent chance of taking my life, that's pretty, you know, it's not, five percent, like, five percent could be walking down the street, but, you know, this is a toxic, you know, actively trying to kill me in my body type of scenario, right?
Speaker 1:And so, here I am facing mortality again, and it's just that much closer, and yeah, you to, you just have to stop, and, you know, hearing Volk say that, like, adversity is a privilege. You know, you laugh. You're kinda like, yeah, right. Adversity sucks. You know, nobody likes to be, you know, adversity, you know, it blows.
Speaker 1:But it is. It's really where growth. It's really where growth happens. Sure. It's really where growth happens.
Speaker 1:And adversity is anything. Yeah. That is a wall. Right. You need to be able to go through.
Speaker 1:Right. We have our we have our comfort zone, Yeah. And then we have, like, way out of our comfort zone. And there's, like, that small inner circle that's somewhere in Yeah. In between the knots.
Speaker 1:But it's kind of where we wanna be on the the bleeding edge or our fear. Yeah. Just on the outside of our comfort zone. And you always want to be pushing the limits in a couple of ways, right? Learning, pushing the limits of, like, growth, pushing the limits of, like, who you are as a man.
Speaker 1:And and then, now, being able to be comfortable in yourself and in your skin for a moment of just, like, okay. Alright. You have went through adversity, but you don't need to go through adversity tomorrow Yeah. Either. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Yeah. You need to maybe, like, enjoy the day tomorrow and today. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Totally.
Speaker 1:Totally. And and the the the big thing for me was, like, letting my guard down and letting somebody take care of the culture, you know what I mean? Like, letting people come bring me food, letting people come visit, letting the nurses do their thing, you know what I mean? Like, it'd be very easy to push against, and even coming home and having my mom, you know, stay an extra couple days and help out around the house, you know, she's like, don't want you going back down to do your same old things, right? One of the things I do have to be aware of, and that's why we're sitting up here, is things like dust, right?
Speaker 1:Who knows what's in that dust that could potentially cause an infection, and then I wouldn't be one of those people in that negatively pressurized room that's sick, and now we're back on that infection, plus other killer cancer. I think that's the thing, people hear cancer, and it's scary. I just happen to get very, very lucky with the type that I have. Acute, Probiolectic, APN. ACL.
Speaker 1:No, APL. APL. APL, or APML, microloid. Like, it's weird, depending on how you look it up. There's another form of leukemia, there's several different forms, it's APML, I believe, well, it's another way of looking at it, APML.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And, like we talked about last time, interesting enough, you get arsenic. Yep. The Chinese brought that to Eric. Right?
Speaker 1:It's so crazy. I was talking to a coworker today, she was like, oh, my grandma killed herself with arsenic. I'm like, I need to hear this story. She's like, I'm headed to a meeting, but we'll talk about it. And I'm like, okay, well, I need to hear this Did you do that?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Woah. So when you leave the hospital, the the nurses lined up, and they give you off, and they're like, hey, don't come back. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. I mean, I got to be really good friends with a lot of them, right?
Speaker 1:A lot of them. They are incredibly caring people. It's an incredible group of women mostly, a few men, right, who, they don't, they're like on my floor, they're just not your typical nurse, they're not your typical RN, they specific training around cancer, right? So, they've taken extra training and, you know, they're dealing with the sickest of the sick, they're cleaning up the person that's vomited and couldn't get to the toilet or the barf bag or whatever, they're, you know, an incredibly compassionate people, and from what I hear, it's one of the best floors to work on, it's like one of the most rewarding floors to work on, it has to be, because they get to see incredible success stories, and, yeah. Yeah, and be a part of it, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. And be a part of something that's so terrifying and beautiful and scary, and all of those emotions that you can with something like this, right? Yeah. Because, like you said, you do hear cancer, you do see cancer, and you're like, ugh. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Holy crap. Yeah. What the world? Yeah. F cancer.
Speaker 1:That's all I can think about it. Right? It it is. It it sucks. There can be because that's the thing, like, there's, I have no idea how I could have caught it.
Speaker 1:There's no rhyme or reason, there's no, you know, there's tons of projection on what I think it could be, could it be radon, could it be, you know, who knows? We do know it was something environmental that triggered this genetic mutation, right? That the possibility of this mutation was sitting somewhere in my DNA and it was activated by some external. Do you have to then have the kids I don't know that there's necessarily a test For them to even to even know. I don't know if it's passed down genetically like that.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's how it happens. I think you either have the marker or you don't have the marker, but again, again, there's so much I don't understand, and I could tell that all my doctors were trying to dial it down. Not many of them traveled with crayons, I think it would have been helpful if they would have marked it marked it up with some markers and crayons and give me a calling, but, yeah, you know, they did the best they could educating To educate you. In thirty days, to make me feel like an expert. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So now you're back to work? I'm back to work, yeah. I just felt too healthy to take disability. Sure. Right now, like, I thought, like, to be honest, I would just go crazy.
Speaker 1:If I were just sitting there, I would have just gone crazy. And I'm lucky enough to work for a type of company that has remote work, that I can do from a laptop, that I can do in between treatments, like knowing my treatment schedule will allow me to schedule my treatments and my work work around that kind of stuff, so. And so, do you feel run down? Do you feel like you can sleep now because you're in your bed? Do you feel like you're you are settling back?
Speaker 1:Because now you've been home for, what's that, almost a week now? Almost a week, yeah. We've been Thursday will be a week, right? So, yeah, I feel like I am sleeping better. I'm also, I haven't received arsenic since that time either, so, I don't know what the half life is on it, you know, that's Yeah, well, it's definitely, you were getting a lot Yeah, a ton of steroids, actually weaned me off the last week before I was there, which is good, because those things were keeping me awake.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a full adrenaline rush. Yeah. You know, yeah, I do feel like I'm sitting better, I feel like I'm waking up better. It'll be interesting to see the difference, like, once I go back to outpatient. They have told me that I can take my outpatient treatment in Park City.
Speaker 1:Oh, good. Which is huge. It's huge. Because it's about, what, an hour from door to door from my house to Downtown Salt Lake, where was. What so they'll have when you go there, you're there for a week, or you're just there for a day?
Speaker 1:It's outpatient. It's outpatient, so I'll be there just the hours that I need to take the arsenic, and then I'll be able to Are they doing blood platelets at that point? No, blood platelets and blood products were only to stabilize my blood. Which is really just like an infusion, right? Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're cycling new blood in there. Yeah. The old blood out. I got 28 different blood products within really the first really the first few days that I was there. They pretty much stopped giving me blood products, biomed out week two.
Speaker 1:I think there was a couple of times the less, like, certainly. Could I get Lance Armstrong's blood products? Could I get Yeah. Some Can I get some blood Yeah? I don't know what's short saying.
Speaker 1:Can I get can I get a little bit of I need a blood boy? Somebody young with that. Yeah. What what does that show what does that show with the vampires? That's why they that's why the vampires do the blood.
Speaker 1:Right? It keeps them young. What does that show? Twi Twilight? Twilight?
Speaker 1:Twilight? Twilight? Is that right? Yeah. For the Alien, maybe.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Twilight. I think that's the the the premise of a vampire is just to keep them young. Keep them young then too. That that that's what keeps them young or keeps them alive?
Speaker 1:Blood. So and and a better of, you know, pure blood. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah. What a crazy what a what a a journey. Life. Right? Right.
Speaker 1:I mean, life. This is literally life. This is and and now that we're on, you know, two and a half years of doing this, people are people are now gonna be able to, like, watch our lives. Yeah. And let's say it's you know, I was thinking about this in a day.
Speaker 1:Let's say it's the first time you've heard the episode of us, and they don't have any, you know, they don't know any reference to us. Maybe they just they they happen upon it, and they start listening to it. Next thing you know, they're like, watching this life unfold. Yeah. It's almost like, you know, it's on the TV.
Speaker 1:It's like it's like this this sitcom that we're coming through of of life, and it's interesting that we have this now, stamps of our lives that, like, for generations, people will be able to go back and listen to, and be able to remember those moments and capture those moments of how we felt, what we were going through, you know, and life is one of those things where I think, like, you're crazy to think that life is easy. You're crazy to think that adversity isn't your privilege. Right. Yeah. Because the next thing that happens is gonna be worse, and you better have some strong elasticity, or, you know, you're feeling like, and so God gives you all these tasks and all these assignments, and it's like, okay, I'm ready for another one.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you have to look at it. You have to change, have to change, this is happening to me, you have to change the mindset from this is happening to me, to this is happening for me. Sure. And I think that was one of those things I decided very early on in my stay at the hospital.
Speaker 1:This is not happening to me, this is happening for me. There is something amazing that's going to happen because of this. Yeah, there's not the best thing that's happened to me in my life. Right. It's definitely not, but it's happening for a reason, and what does this tell me?
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't know if you're a fan of Norse mythology, but, like, Odin, he plucked out his own eye in order to see the Right? And that future was knowledge. Right? He had knowledge knowledge of the future, and that's what made him a God. Right?
Speaker 1:Like, that's the story behind what made him a God, that knowledge. And so, for me, like, this knowledge about myself, about how tough I am, what can put up with, what I can recover from, it just makes me closer to becoming the best version of myself, the most clear version of myself. Yeah, for sure. And with all of that being said, like, you had, you did keep, for the most part, a really good spirit about Yeah. There there were no, wasn't without its dark days, for sure.
Speaker 1:It wasn't there were there were definitely some dark moments for sure. There was definitely, you know, I always, like, to be honest, like, the nurses kinda set set They definitely set the tone, right? Yeah. They come in, they're happy, and they're, like, you know, they're easy to talk to, like, oh, that made me all that much more exciting. If they were, like, there's a couple times I got some night nurses that were just, like, all business, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:They just didn't we just didn't click, like, I definitely definitely felt them bring bring their Bring their feet down. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen one of the nurses left you a message saying that she was stoked at you. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You got out. Made a lot of good friends in the hospital, and some wanted to know what I did, so we talked a lot about the podcast, you know, in and out of your room, like, they work twelve hour shifts, so seven to seven I have the same nurse. Okay. You know what I mean? And typically the way they work, they have a three day shift or a four day shift and then they're off, right?
Speaker 1:So, usually what would happen is, for their three or four days on cycle, they try to maintain the same patients, I think, for the most part, like I was getting the same people, you know, day after day after day. Okay. Like, so, it's, you know, and then they go on their break and then, chances are they come back, and it's like, oh, Tyler's still here, so, I'm going up. Yeah, yeah, you are. Mean, I'd like to think it was me, but like, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:I think for continuity of what they have to do, what they have to remember. Yeah. It's probably a little easier. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Like, that's better for the patient to kind of just see it from their face and Sure. You know, somebody who kind of understands. You know, the same with the aids, they have all of, you know, you kind of go through a progression, right, they have a nurse's aid, you know, they're the ones that are in charge of doing kind of the less, less The worst jobs? Oh, maybe, like, going in there and finding out what you had for dinner. Unfortunately, hey, they needed they needed that sample, and as try as I might, like, couldn't did I was like, everything I could do not to give it to them, like, just to be like, oh, yeah, haven't gone.
Speaker 1:I haven't gone. I haven't gone. Finally, they were like, you gotta do this. They filled me up with MiraLAX and semisoft, and it was like, don't know. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And, I mean, also, obviously, all the drugs too, they back you up. Right? All the drugs they give you. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:For sure. They just stop you up. Yeah. And it's pain it gets painful. You're just like, oh, oh.
Speaker 1:Think this All you're doing is eating. That's funny because, not that this reminds me of that, but, like, I think that's the same thing with, like, drug addicts. Oh, yeah. They get backed up. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they're like, they're when they finally release the hounds, it's like, let's go. Yeah, it is. They're yeah. Opioids, I think, I think that's the common thing with opioids, for sure. I've had that one for that.
Speaker 1:For sure. I think that's what it is. I wasn't on a lot of I think I took two nights. I asked for something stronger for Tylenol just because my back was all Yeah, you're laying on that hard ass bed. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not sitting comfortably. Well, it was bruised. Everything was bruised. I made the mistake of letting Cozy use the Theragun on me Monday night because I was like, my back's just stiff. Did I freeze again?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Oh, no. That that first Monday, before I even went into the hospital, and, yeah, there, I was bruised all over the place. So now, outlook and and stuff, when can you resume? Do you know when you can resume Jiu Jitsu, when you can go back to I think Jiu Jitsu, for me, is gonna be one of those things where they say your ANC is high enough.
Speaker 1:I have a feeling that my ANC is gonna get knocked down a little bit again when I get started on the Outpatient stuff. The outpatient stuff. My hope is that I'm healthy enough to, at some level, volunteer just to help at camp. I don't think I'll be able to participate on the mats, but if I could help, grab the camera, grab the clock, run something, perhaps I can be healthy enough to do that. I've also signed up both as a couple of things, as a volunteer and as an ambassador, working on getting the podcast to become an ambassador for Tap Cancer Out, the Jiu Jitsu 501C3.
Speaker 1:It's the one that CJI was the biggest contributor of last year. Oh, okay. And they run tournaments all across this country. There's no tournament here in Salt Lake. What the heck?
Speaker 1:Yet. Yet. Let's go. So, we're working with them, so I'm gonna hopefully be out in Denver running a clock or doing something with them in late June. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I actually think it's the week before camp. So, are the two things I'm kind of looking forward to, hopefully being healthy enough to just observe, maybe not necessarily participate. Still be around it and part of the community. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I would really like to get back in, in a manner I'm like, help you with class, you know what I mean? Like, it's hard with those kids because they're just freaking petri dishes. Yeah, they are. But Yeah, they'll go around the kids. But They're gross.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm I'm I'm I'm hoping I'm hoping that just to figure out how I can stay close and connected because it's important to me. I think there wasn't a person that didn't reach out from the academy nature and say something, like, everyone that I've known or made friends with the last three years there has reached out, pretty much. So, whenever you, so if one of the kids is sick, then they have to stay away, or you just need to wear a mask?
Speaker 1:And I'm talking about your children. Probably what they would need to do, what would be the safest risk for them to stay at the county, quarantine, and I'll wear a mask, and I don't know, hoping that we're getting into summertime, would be not so much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:We got teased with a couple of warm days, and I think it's gonna get cold I guess, in a couple of days, but that's okay because I think most of the snows on the ground is gone. I think it's gonna stay gone. Yeah. We we've been able to be in the sun a little bit more. I got the bus out driving a couple times.
Speaker 1:Nice. I, you know, we've I I and hang out with Misty Yeah. At the spa regularly, and the other day I went over there, there were some people from out of town, and I was showing one of the guys the bus, and before I knew it, the other people came out, and they wanted to sit in there, pretend like they were driving it. They were video recording themselves, roll down the window, sitting in there. They they were they they spent about fifteen, twenty minutes taking pictures of the bus and, like, pretending like they were, you know, driving the Yeah.
Speaker 1:Hanging out on the bus, and the guy was like, man, see, you can make money on this, and he's like, yeah, maybe, you know, like, one day, maybe, you know, but I don't mind just letting people sit in there for very and just hagging me. Yeah. I I there is a similar bus, pretty much the exact similar it's the exact same as mine, just without the Rhino lighting, but, I mean, it's for all intents and purposes, if you looked at it and looked at mine, it's called the Burn Slow Bus. Oh, yeah. The Instagram handle, I think, Burn Slow Bus.
Speaker 1:Oh. And they are currently driving from the Baja Coast right now. Oh, sick. So we watched, I mean, I watched their little clips on the social media, you know, throughout the day. He was driving in the sand on the beach the other day, and he was talking about it, and I was like, I just, you know, sent him a message, hey, what size tires are you recommending?
Speaker 1:Like, maybe twenty minutes later, boom, he responded, and I was like, this is crazy. Yeah. You know, we're gonna have him talking, so I sent him a picture of my bus and told him, hey, you know, I'm thinking of doing the same thing of driving to Baja and our bus, and he's like, Ah, it's the perfect route for it. It gets anywhere you wanna go, and, you know, we talked a little bit more, and him and I have been chatting back and forth, which is kind of cool, like, that little tiny connector puts you in contact with people, right? Yeah, these micro communities.
Speaker 1:That's what I think about with these little things that we do, these little projects that we have, is just keeping our reach out there, keeping our face out there, keeping our names out there, keeping the fact that we are promoting healthy lifestyles, Yeah. And, with what just happened, your healthy lifestyle habits, or non habits, will either, one, get you through it, or two, bite you in the ass, right? Yeah, and so, I'm sure that your healthy habits will, the fact that your body did what it was supposed to do is by the fact that you're, for most intents and purposes, healthy. Yeah. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. And that promotion of those things is what I think about. Yeah. Know, what I take away from this last three days is like, man, go get don't don't just be like, ah. Right?
Speaker 1:I think that pain will go away. That pain in my balls, that lump in my balls, my butt my butt hurts, or, like, these weird things, these weird I've got bruising on my body. Yeah. You know, you're like, it'll go away. It'll go away.
Speaker 1:No. Yeah. It won't go away. And and then, if you're, like, careful, it could get worse. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. And that's what that's the things that I, you know, wanna make sure that our audience and our friends and our families to remember is, like, don't ignore it. Right. Don't ignore the signs, don't ignore the things, go see what's going on. What's insane, and I think this is, like, is kind of the impetus of why we started doing this, I was listening to this book called Boys Adrift.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah. It's an incredible book, think we should do an episode on, I don't know if you get the chance to read or listen to it in a Sure. He's telling a story about this kid who's kind of in a lot of trouble, gets hooked up with an older gentleman who's gonna, kind of offers him a job, and he says, Hey, I just need you to pull all the nails out of this pile of wood here, when you're done with that, I got something else for you to do. Job probably should've taken like half an hour, you know. Dude goes back to check-in on the board, you know, about an hour later, then he's finished with one board, and he's like, well, show me what you're doing here, I'm like, what's going on?
Speaker 1:We're not done. Nobody had shown him how to use the cloth. Oh, right. He was hammering the nails, and just super frustrated, and here he is, this boy is, you know, 14, 15 years old, nobody's shown him how to use that hammer. Nobody's shown him the claw with a hammer to pull off the nails, and so, you know, we're the generation that instructs the next generation, and we can't lose sight of that.
Speaker 1:When we lose sight of that, these young men are, they're seeking influence elsewhere, they're seeking influence from fucking Jay Pauls or the YouTube influencers, M and M's or the, you know, these people from the street or TV that may not necessarily have how to write. Sure. Well, and yeah, I mean, you're putting in, what you're putting in, right, is at some point, some sort of knowledge, Yeah. And what you're failing, probably, is the fact that you don't have the knowledge. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right. It works in this weird way of of if I just asked if I just asked, or if I just went and found, seek to to find more answers, maybe I'd find the answer a little quicker as opposed to, like, banging my head against the wall. Right. Or, like you said, the walls are in front of me, here I go. I'm just gonna stand there and wait for the door to be open as opposed to just moving a little bit to the right and open the door.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. I think so too, think with that idea of men or young men who don't have a group of people around them to help them and to influence them will wander lost. Yep. And they'll guess.
Speaker 1:Yep. You know? We we had Tristan's twenty first birthday, and and I remember, like, talking to people and just telling them, like, thank you so much for what you've done for my son. Yeah. You know?
Speaker 1:If it wasn't for jujitsu or the fact that the man that he's around Yeah. He might be a different man. It definitely takes a village. It definitely takes a And I gotta and, you know, you're a great father. You're a great father, but there's probably ways that and, you know, posts the other day about Professor Nick, and I'm like, there's ways that they've had a positive influence on his life, right?
Speaker 1:And that's not demeaning to you, it's the comprehensive, right? It's the comprehensive of it all. Yeah, it's all compounding. Yeah. And then, like, when you talk about a village of men who influence people, right, you need to put your your you need to put them around, and you need to encourage them to be around people that will lift them up, that will call them out of their bullshit.
Speaker 1:And then hopefully they do that for somebody else, you know. So hopefully they do that for somebody, you know, hopefully they, in return, help somebody that needs help, you And I think that that community that we have, the community that we're building, is just those things, is just that. Right? Like, somebody's sick, boom, everybody's on. Everybody's there.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Somebody needs help. Okay. Cool. Got you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Somebody's down, alright? We'll lift you up. Yeah. Somebody needs to be humble.
Speaker 1:I got you on that Yeah. Right? Yeah. I forgot what was talking about yesterday, and it was like, you know, the journey that he's been through to get to where he's at now. Maybe that's why.
Speaker 1:Maybe the journey was, and all the with all the shit that he went through, and all the people that have quit, and all the guys that have taken advantage of him, and all the the bullshit, but then you look around of all these people that got together for Tristan's birthday, and everybody was like, I mean, that's that's our friendship. That's our friend group. Yeah. For me, I'm lucky because, you know, two of my best buddies, you and Tristan, are part of that community. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know? Yeah. And I can imagine my life, what it would be like right now, without what I have, you know, in this life, and I hope to encourage other men and encourage people to continue to do that. Yeah. I was talking to Braxton today, and I was telling him that I was, like, really grumpy today.
Speaker 1:And part of it, I think, was that I, you know, I I always listen to the same podcasts. Mhmm. I was listening to the same music, but the last couple of days, I've been listening to Wild Boy Scouts on the left, and and and they're great sometimes. Oh, the last podcast on the left? Last pod sorry.
Speaker 1:Lost podcast on the I said last podcast. Yeah. Last podcast on the left. But this one was about Charles Manson. The last one's about Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. And I think that it also causes me to be a little grumpy because I'm listening to the story and, like, I'm kinda, like Yeah. Imagining myself, and Braxton was talking about that. He's like, yeah.
Speaker 1:Because he's like, you kind of imagine yourself what you listen to when you watch, like, these movies, those movies like, like, death and torture, whatever, all that crazy shit, porn. You put yourself there. Right? And then if it's a negative context, you kinda start to feel sympathy for some of these people because these people are characters. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Oh, Manson's a character, so he kinda, like, start to feel sympathy for him in some things that he because that's kinda what they want, they want you to feel a little sympathy for him because they are telling us another story, I remember during part, one of the one of the hosts was like, this is awesome. He was talking about how Charles Manson had masked a murder. So masked a murder. He's like, that's not what I meant.
Speaker 1:I didn't mean awesome. I meant I don't even know what I meant, but it was like, you know, in his mind, that's how he was describing it. Yeah. Like, awesome. Holy crap.
Speaker 1:Look at what he's doing. Give me a little shit. It's like, I think I probably needed to so then today, was like, I'm not listening to this shit. Or I I told you the same thing about the Lordy Daybell. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I told you the same thing. I kinda felt like achy after I listened to it, you know, and I don't like that feeling. Yeah. No.
Speaker 1:You you definitely everything in moderation in moderation. Right? And I I oddly enough, I listened to that same episode. Did you ever listen to any they they I don't remember. They they need Charles Manson's music?
Speaker 1:Yes. It's oddly good. It is oddly good. It's oddly good. Hey, it's a good voice?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, then, we're talking about the fact that, like, he's And he wrote for, like, the Beach Boys? That dude. And you're like, what? The fact that Indy is really charismatic, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. I mean, it made him a perfect leader. But, you're right, like, I have to listen, like, I have to listen to you, okay, I'm gonna listen to this one series, and then I'm going gotta go find some happy Stumped Yeah, yeah, because it is, it's true. Where your where mind goes, the energy flows. Right?
Speaker 1:And so, if you're you're sitting in that kind of darkness, it's you're inviting that darkness into your life. So, I I totally And I had some rough, you know, I had enough couple of with with wrestling and stuff, and just being a little discouraged with some of the things that were going on, but then I have to remind myself, like, now I'm around these young men and young women, and they and and encouraging them to be better, and here I am grumpy as shit. And I I was talking to Misty, and she's like, okay. I need to let's get off the phone because and I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And she's like, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1:Because your voice I can tell in your voice that you're grumpy. Yeah. And I was like, in my head, was like, no, you can't. But I could hear the fact that I probably was Yeah. Like, just a little like Yeah.
Speaker 1:And and then, you know, I didn't train yesterday. I trained Sunday. Sunday's training was insane because there's so many people on the mat, but it was quick. Mhmm. You know, because I was cooking, so I needed to get the grill going.
Speaker 1:Will and I were trying to get the grill going, so I didn't really get a good train in on on Sunday. But, yeah, I think, like, for for when we, know, taking care of yourself is is everything. Right? Mental, physical, spiritual Mhmm. And and and making it like this this.
Speaker 1:Everything, everything that you can, everything that you can be, everything that you can fix or improve, you should. Education, learn to get better, learn to figure out how to make yourself better as a man is important in the whole scheme of things. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I hope when people listen to our stories, that's what they get from it. Yeah. That we're still just real men who go through these real life situations and have to be there for each other, you know, help each other figure things out. Yeah. Yeah, and we need each other, we need other men.
Speaker 1:It's really important, and I think that's one of the things this book says in Boys Adrift, like, boys of single mothers, forgetting the author's name, Leonard Sachs, he basically says, if you are a single mom, find a group of men, vet a group of men, or an activity where your boys can go be around other men. Yeah, it's important. It is, it is. Yeah, it absolutely is. You've been doing some big things with wrestling too, but what's going on with the Yes, so we took the girls to Spokane, to women's nationals, that was really fun, that was a really good experience for the girls.
Speaker 1:We got the US Open coming up in the next week. Yeah. Things are kinda winding down. The kids are getting summeritis, and I can only imagine those poor kids in Park City because they've been in the snow for the last you know, since November. It's been snowing there, and all a sudden, they get they get a little bit of grass, and they get a little bit of sunshine, and next thing you know, they don't wanna be stuck in a in a in a resting room, and so our numbers kinda went down, which I got a little discouraged about, but it's okay, like, they'll get there and and and we'll we'll have kids coming out and their kids are getting better.
Speaker 1:We did I got there today and we almost had a private with these two kids, I was, like, able to, like, really walk them through positions, walk them through where they're struggling, and they were, like, so excited. They were like, that was one of the best practices we've had, coach. I really wanna give a huge shout out to my to our friend, Nick Jackson. Park City baseball is number two in the state right now. Two in the state.
Speaker 1:And I wouldn't watch them today. And, dude, I would highly recommend if you're in the Park City, if you're the Wasatch back or Wasatch, you know, if you're that Park City area, go watch the baseball team. They are amazing. Those kids, the way that they are excited, the way they're playing, they were just they were knocking ball. I mean, they were doing everything.
Speaker 1:They were talking. They were chatting. They were chirping. It was awesome, and I was watching Dave Easler and Nate Jackson, are our friends, and they were just the whole group, the whole staff, they were having such a good time, and, you know, don't know a lot of kids because I'm not in the school a lot, but I definitely know a lot of the kids that are on the team they're all like, Hey coach, and they were coming to me knuckles and it was a good environment to be around. So if you if you get a moment, like I said, they're number two in the state right now.
Speaker 1:Their goal was to score 20 points in baseball. Dang. And they were at 11 in the fifth inning when I was there. Dang. 11, and they were still going.
Speaker 1:I think they even had some of the younger kids playing, you know, on the bases and everything, so. Shout out to Nick Jesse and Dave Piesler and the group of coaches that they've got there with the kids. It's just important to have good coaches. Always. Always good coaches, good mentors, good Yeah, just be positive.
Speaker 1:Be positive. Yeah. You know? And so, yeah, that's a benefit for being a high school coach, is you're around the other sports and stuff, and you know those guys, and so that's fun. Summer camp summer camp is is getting ready to get the chance winning with, like, announcements.
Speaker 1:I mean, some of these announcements, these fights that they're I can't have you now. You remind me, I'm watching it from the hospital, and I'm just like, yeah, I'm just blown away. How about it, man? Nick? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nick's keep taking a fight. I'm ready. I'm ready. Oh, I'm so excited for him. Adam Adam's taking a fight.
Speaker 1:Like, huge. It is big. They're I know some more fights that are potential that are potential matchups going on. Jeff Kern is doing his Super Fights event in September in Chicago, and I know some guys that are on that card, and I'm excited for that as well. I know some of the potential matchups that could potentially happen for Jeff and and that super fight, so those announcements will keep coming out.
Speaker 1:And yeah, I mean, like, there's just so much good stuff going on for our little community, and we go back to you, if you had any kind of idea or if you have any interest in trying Jiu Jitsu, you know, Anthony has his school in Hebert. It's never been easier. We have our school in Park City, there's so much you can do, there's so many people you can go around, and you be a part of the community, you can see what we're talking about. You can be a part of that family and learn how to navigate that world and see what it's like, and I would just highly encourage you to come check us out, come see us. Mean, we teased about come see us on Sundays, and some people took that the wrong way, but the fact of the matter is, we just want you to come on that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Come see us, come hang out with us, come be a part of our community and give yourself to it. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we're kidding, but we're not kidding, right? Like, talked about that in that episode, I wrote a substack post about it, like, you know, the feedback we got was from a nice young lady that was misguided in my our What we were seeing.
Speaker 1:We saying. Right? I mean, we went in what we said. Yeah. We definitely met what we said.
Speaker 1:We definitely met all. If you disagree, come disagree. We'll work it out. We'll work it out. And, like, I mean, we're gonna bump nothing, somebody's gonna tap, and it's okay.
Speaker 1:Maybe we'll be better friends after. Yeah. We'll see Always will. We'll see, you know, high vibe. That's beauty of it.
Speaker 1:That's the kind competition is being bred out of our school system right now, so, yeah. Feels so good to be back in the groove of these conversations and just chatting, man. I'm so grateful for you, Dan. I'm happy to see you here. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm glad that my best buddy is, like, on the mend, that your body did its job, and that he had the successes that you had after That initial shock of what it was, and then it's like, okay, now we're back on the trending upward. Yep. And so, yeah, I think it's a I love you. And thank you. And I appreciate everything about Summer camp.
Speaker 1:Sign up for summer camp. Anything else you got going on? Just, yeah, man, like, trying to we're doing the fundraising again for the Super Fights, and, oh, yeah, we have that going on, so if you're interested in being a sponsor or having your name out there with the, involved in the camp or the Super Camp, then, you know, I'm gonna get ahold of people. I've got an email, I've got some, I've got a deck, a sponsorship deck that we're presenting here in the next couple of weeks, and so, appreciate that, and appreciate all the help that goes into those things, and, yeah. So Hopefully, warm weather's coming, and I We're do some episodes from the bus.
Speaker 1:Let's do it. As soon as we can. We're gonna get the next steps up. Yeah. As soon as you're good.
Speaker 1:As soon as you're healthy. Outside is okay, as long as it's not super windy, right? Can do it. As long as I'm separated and like, they said windy dust storms, like, stay out of that, but like, I'm good. There's plenty there, people outside.
Speaker 1:You know what mean? Let's do. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Cool. I'm gonna plug one thing, I got 28 blood products, if you have the opportunity to go donate blood, go donate blood. Man, I used to be an avid blood donor in Colorado, they'd come to my office at work and I'd donate. Have you ever donated marrow? I have not donated, I've donated plasma, but I don't know Marrow, I heard, is painful.
Speaker 1:What is your do you know your your My blood type is o positive, o negative. Whatever the most universal is. Mine is o mine is o positive, I think. Yeah. But, I can only give blood to my Blood type.
Speaker 1:My blood type. Like, my blood type is rare because I can give it to only people with my blood type are allowed to get my blood type, so we're O's. Yeah. No one works such good, buddy. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's an interesting side story, was talking to another gentleman who had a fovea leukemia that I had, who did have to have a bone marrow transplant, it changed his blood type. It changed his blood type and his bone marrow type. He received bone marrow from his son, and it changed his blood type to his son's blood type. Wow. Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's so weird. Yeah, go give blood, go and man, if you can, I mean I'm sure there's people that there's ways to visit patients to go and like volunteer and hang out with them and they, you know, they always brightens up their day and Being a part of that giving community is important? Yeah. Well, cheers everybody. Thank you until next time.
Speaker 1:Appreciate you. Appreciate you, brother.
