Consistency, Community, and Choking Out the Darkness
Alright.
Tyler:We're at it again. We're back. On our on our rock raucous schedule this summer, man.
Danny:I know. It's it's good because like, you know, our positivity with each other stays intact. Yeah. Knowing that we're just making adjustments as life goes on. And we talked about this so many times that there's not much we can do with schedules and and just what you're going through and and my, you know, we Yeah.
Danny:We we we had an impromptu trip to Mexico. Yeah. That that that came that we ended up taking. But at the end of the day, the the the we forge forward.
Tyler:Yeah, you kind of you kind of have to, right? You can't you can't stay static. Right? And and you're right. I think the only thing we could do is maybe adjust how we record.
Tyler:But I think, you know, may that may not be as true to the nature of how our podcast works.
Danny:I agree.
Tyler:Just kind of how we how we bullshit and
Danny:I agree.
Tyler:Come up with ideas and
Danny:And and it's only another couple of weeks. And then then we're like, it's like it never even happened.
Tyler:Yeah. Right?
Danny:Yeah. It literally in a in in a month and some change, it's like it's it'll it'll be that little tick mark on your little lifeline.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:How long will you even remember what happened in that, you know, year tie year and a half time span, year and some change of time span. Yeah. I don't know. Life moves on so fast.
Tyler:It it does. It does. I'm I'm like, I'm counting weeks. I'm counting weeks because like every Monday I know I have to be in the clinic. Right?
Tyler:You know what I mean? So it's like weird how I'm living my life like kind of like counting down this calendar. I really kind of struggled with like, okay, need to get my body back.
Danny:I
Tyler:need to get myself back. How do I get myself back in order? And I like I really feel like my attention span lately has just been I haven't had the attention span for anything.
Danny:Yeah. I mean, and you're living like you said, you're living a pretty like, this is my pattern. So my pattern is four weeks of nothing, four weeks of something. So, yeah, it's it's got to feel like you are
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:This roller coaster of Yeah. Forgetfulness.
Tyler:To just
Danny:And the fact that, like, I mean, you're basing your weeks on a four week. Timeframe. Yeah. Right. There's no long term plans.
Danny:No. It's not like you can go, okay, in six months, I need to make sure I'm this. No, it's like, no, in six weeks, I need to make sure that I get to ring that bell. Yep. And walk away cancer free, which I'm sure at this point, in my opinion.
Danny:Yeah. And then also men, one thing I was wondering is do they wean you off of the off of everything or is it cold turkey? Let's fucking go.
Tyler:That's a good question. I think there's certain things they're gonna probably have to wean me off of a little bit. Right?
Danny:Especially the thing you were talking about the last podcast where that the the atra atra is it atra? Atra.
Tyler:Yeah. So I'm off the atra now. It's weird because it's a two week on cycle, two week off cycle. When I'm off, like, I've been off of it now for a week.
Danny:You start seeing colors different.
Tyler:Dude, it's night and day, night and day. It'll be interesting. So when I end so when I end the session and I and I start my first week free, I go back on the ATTRA. So check check on me then and let's see. Let's do we'll run a little experiment.
Danny:That's right. Because you're a week, you go next week off ATTRA, but you're also on your Yep.
Tyler:I'm on
Danny:or your cocktail of medicine.
Tyler:Yep. So I'll get off the cocktail, but I'll have to start the Avtra again. And so it'll be yeah, that'll be a good
Danny:It's funny because I can almost hear in your voice that you're off of it. You know? I I mean, dude, it I honestly can. I can hear I can hear there's a difference in your tone. When you're on Atra, your tone is very abrupt.
Danny:Yeah. Very abrupt. Very like Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah.
Danny:And I'll be like, woah. You know what I mean? And I I don't take any personal feelings towards it. I just think to myself like, oh, just gonna give I I make sure I call you a little bit more. But I can hear in your voice that you don't have that, like that response of things, you know.
Tyler:It's it's yes. It's it's been one of those things like uncovering this. I don't know. They they they prescribed, like I said, think we talked about this last time. They prescribed the the, you know, the mood stabilizers and those kind of things.
Danny:I thought it was gonna be cold down here, dude. It's not.
Tyler:I don't know what's happened.
Danny:I gotta take my jacket off. This jacket's a little bit warm. It's also warm. Jacket show the old school Park City train high. I love that.
Danny:This is my favorite shirt. Not to cut you off. No. I like I got one. Really hot there for a second.
Tyler:Dude, it is warm. Yeah. It is warm and I we have to turn the AC off in our janky studio because otherwise we get the in the background. That's where we're at in this. We're professionals.
Tyler:We're not that professionals.
Danny:Yeah. So that weaning off period, I wonder what that's going to look like for you.
Tyler:Yeah. I've noticed that they've started cutting the arsenic down too. So like the arsenic was like sixteen milligrams, fifteen milligrams. I think at the end, like, was like 14 on Friday. Oh, wow.
Tyler:So I'll see if maybe I'm at fourteen.
Danny:And then it's a little bit tailed off, man. How great would that be if it's a little tailed off? Yeah. Right? Yeah.
Danny:Then you also this is brand new. You also have asked them to take the take the the portion out so that you can
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Actually do things. We are not a 100% positive that we should be doing these things, but at this point, we don't give a fuck.
Tyler:I I told Brigitte who you who you
Danny:met. Okay. Right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Tyler:You met Brigitte. Yeah. I told her that I was training jujitsu. And she's like, you're not doing contact yet, are you? And I was like, no.
Tyler:No, I'm not.
Danny:I'm not shaking my head. Yes or no. Yeah. I don't. And you said, uh-oh, don't respond to that.
Danny:Yeah. It's gotta be it's gotta be the fact that your body is under some term some some dress. Yeah. And they'd be worried about you hurting yourself. Mhmm.
Danny:Things getting a little bit things are a little wacky.
Tyler:Still the still the immune system. Right?
Danny:It's gotta be.
Tyler:Still the immune system. And when I'm on the cocktail of drugs, my immune system just plummets. So Sure.
Danny:But do we do at this point, you know, we're not trying to rat anybody out, but the fact that you're able to be like, you know what? I'm still gonna live. And what's important to me is my mental health, my mental strength, and the ability to to process my emotions the way that I only way that I know how, which is at this point, jujitsu.
Tyler:Yeah. So I I trained No Gi with Nick. It was my first day on back on the cocktail. So I'd had my my four weeks off and I trained. And everyone was like, dude, I can't I can't believe you've been rolling around with freaking arsenic rolling around your body.
Tyler:I didn't do I think I probably did 14 rounds.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:I mean, was just awesome to just be back on the mat. I I did selective rounds with certain certain guys. Wednesday, I wasn't quite as healthy. I was able to just sit in professor's class. I've been using medical marijuana, obviously, to help with nausea, to help with just the pain in my stomach and my weird bones hurt from time to time.
Tyler:So not that I'm justifying it, but it makes me kind of like, I can work. Like, it's nice because I can I I can kind of fight through it? But if I'm not like actively trying to stay awake, I I will get kind of drowsy. And so like, I'm like, I can be stoned at home watching TV or I can be stoned at jujitsu. And it felt like the safe place to be to just, you know, be able to take my gummy, sit and watch the guys roll and just be part of the community and just like, I needed it.
Tyler:I needed it.
Danny:I hope you I hope you continue with it whether you roll or not. I hope that your plan is to I know that you've signed up for the you are competing. You you have committed to the competition. Yeah. I reinstated my fees.
Danny:Let's go.
Tyler:Yeah. So we're doing this. I told. I told.
Danny:And, and, and, you know, thankfully we have an academy that we're able to, you know, when you needed to take a moment off. But but here's the other thing is, is it is your community.
Tyler:It's 100% my community. These people showed up from day one.
Danny:Sure.
Tyler:In such amazing ways. Phone calls, text messages, it was overwhelming but like so like filled me with so much gratitude. Filled me with so much gratitude and I know there were people that stayed away intentionally because I said, hey, this is overwhelming and didn't come say hi or, you know, did what we asked and those that were concerned and did do that, like, please feel free to reach out now if you're if you're, you know, we haven't connected yet. Like, I'd love to catch up and just say thank you because I've definitely felt the good mojo.
Danny:Right. And now moving forward with with that in your in your mindset, it's also going to take you to because the reality is, is like, you know, when you compete, you know, we compete and we want to compete for the right reasons. You know? Yeah. But also to be understanding that you're not going out there just to roll over and be like, oh, I'm getting a participation award.
Danny:No, no. You're going to go put some effort into getting your body back the way that you want it, getting your mind back the way you wanted it. Yeah. And then fighting through the adversity of that's going to come with training, you know, full speed ahead. Yeah.
Danny:You'll have November, December, January, February, four months.
Tyler:Four months.
Danny:Four months to to get your mind right. So it's good to start getting that going on.
Tyler:I've got to get in. My goal is to get back in three days a week. Three days a week.
Danny:Even if you're just there, like being a part of the, you know, I was talking to Mike about things and him and I always have like really amazing conversations. He's like a second, I don't know another person that takes the time that he does and responds as quickly as he does for me. Like, you know, I'm so, so lucky because it's not like I, you know, I have so many questions and I, and was telling him about the fact that, you know, you were, you were thinking about that and he's like, you know, remind him that it's not a participation award, you know? We're going out there to have fun, but for sure you're going out there to fight. Yeah.
Danny:You better have the right reasons to do it. Yeah. Because if not, then you'll find reasons to not do it. Yeah. Right?
Danny:Yeah. And you have a competitive spirit, you know, you did competitive you did compete prior to cancer. And I think you're going to compete after, you know, I think that you're going to I think that it's it's part of your who you are as a person to self regulate some of those emotions that you deal with that that aren't always like, I can't find the answer in the book because for all intents and purposes, a lot of times you want to find the answer in the book. Yeah. Yes.
Danny:It's not there.
Tyler:No. Yeah. Yeah. I've been accused of having joining the cult of self self what is it? Self care.
Danny:Self care. Yeah. And I, you know, I don't I tease you a lot because I'm like, hey, maybe this is not a therapy answer. It's just a fucking live and fuck it mentality.
Tyler:I think I think you're absolutely right. I'm I'm I want something more than just like going to compete. That's what I did before. I just wherever I was at, I competed. Like, no, I want something intentional here.
Tyler:I've reached out to the nutritionist that, you know, the hospital provides. Like, I am working on like, how do I build a fight camp? Like if I were, you know, one of these guys training with Tripp or Nick or like that's what I was talking to Nick about. Like, how do you build a fight camp to lead up to lead up to this? I've got to make weight.
Tyler:I mean, I put a pretty a pretty big weight goal there. Like, you know, I've got to be in competition to be able to keep the cardio up. And we just watched seven minutes of Nogi jujitsu and it's it's kind of boring, It's but like it's a cardio push. Right? It's it's not
Danny:it's very emotional. Yeah. It's emotionally driven.
Tyler:Yes. Right.
Danny:Ups and downs in fights happen, you know, and you got to weather the storms. We talked a lot about that a lot, like weather, weather this position. Okay. Now it's time to go. Okay.
Danny:No, maybe it's time to relax. Maybe it's time to like gather your thoughts and then, oh, now it's time to go. You know, you have to have be able to like really hit those fast firing thoughts. Yeah. But I do believe that that it would behoove you a ton to have your community around, but also to live in a fight camp.
Danny:Like live with a diet, with a goal every day, every week of cardio with a goal of like, okay, this is what I'm going to do to ensure that I'm healthy. Yeah. When I go compete. Yeah. I think it'll be so good for you.
Danny:Yeah. I think that it will take away all the bullshit that you've that that's happened in this last, you know, three, four years of Yeah. Of just turmoil up and down. You know me, I always go back to God. God just being like, no, Tyler, you're not ready yet for the for a break.
Danny:I'm going to teach you another. I'm going to give you another thing that you may not want, but right now you currently need. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of what I told Tristan today is like, you know, God doesn't give us he doesn't give us what we think we are ready for.
Danny:Yeah. He gives you what he thinks you need to learn. Yeah. The lessons that you need to learn and that and that's just the way it is. Yeah.
Danny:I believe that a 100%, you know, I believe that, you know, as a dad, you know, I've had to learn so many things with my boys of like how to handle certain things that they're going through that I'm like, man, I just, I don't know. I don't know. I trust I trust my instincts. Sometimes I fuck it up like royally, you know? Yeah.
Danny:Sometimes I get it right, you know? And I think that that's where you're at right now in this whole journey, you know, it's just learning and and it not the way that you want to.
Tyler:Yeah. I mean, I can't keep questioning myself like, what is what is rock bottom look like? I mean, I don't I don't there's people that have disgusting rock bottoms, right? Like it it you know, but things have been heavy.
Danny:For sure. You know? And you're dealing it. It's not like you can, like, it's not like you have this, like, you have a community that you work to, but you're literally fucking by yourself figuring this shit out, which if we go back to all of the things that you wanted was to be able to like hold this con this ground. Yeah.
Danny:Stoically. Yeah. By yourself. Yeah. And you didn't you had the church prior to things.
Danny:You had Nick prior to things. Yeah. Your parents prior to things. You had your your ex wife prior to things. You have your kids.
Danny:Yeah. And they they were able to help you. But you always have been this guy that was like, no, I want be able to do these things on my own. And maybe that was the lesson is like, we're gonna gonna teach you how to be a powerful man.
Tyler:Independent.
Danny:And be okay with who you are as a person. Yeah. Which, you know, I mean, I'm stoked for who you are as a person. Yeah. But I, you know, I'm not I'm not the guy that gives you the lessons.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Sometimes you do. Sometimes you do.
Danny:I definitely I know that myself, like I I'm, you know, like, oh man, that lesson hurts. Yeah. You know, or, you know, my friends are going through things or my Yeah. A lot of times because of my role in people's lives, people will call and tell me things and I'll be like, oh man, that's a rough one. And I'll be like, I'll go back to I'll go to like things that you told me, which would be, do you want my response or do you want me to listen?
Danny:Yeah. You know, I know for a fact, one of the biggest things that I would do is I would give you advice without you asking me for advice. Yeah. I would just be like, well, I'm gonna give you advice. Yep.
Danny:And I and a lot of times I could tell on your face if you were like, fuck that. I wasn't ready for that. You know, my boys especially.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:You know, my boys especially. Yeah. Yeah. I can I can tell the tone that they give me the the input that they give me back? Yeah.
Danny:That they're they were not ready. Yeah. But I also can tell when they were like, oh, I really appreciated that. Yeah. You know?
Danny:And so I think that
Tyler:Those plumbers. Yeah. That's it's so amazing. I I like to watch you kind of handle your sons and how you approach it. And it's obviously it's nice to have that roadmap as I work with Ben and my own son, you know, to try to kind of grow into a more of an adulthood, right?
Tyler:Like, I think you teach those lessons, right? There's certain lessons we have to teach that we should teach and they're not gonna be nice lessons sometimes. And they may not be delivered at the right moment. And they may not be delivered with the most tact, but we're gonna work on it together. I'm gonna teach you the lesson and hopefully me teaching it to you is better than the world teaching it
Danny:to Because guess what? Yeah. No gun give a buck.
Tyler:They zero. They have zero to give.
Danny:Zero. Right? And the other thing is is like you we can always go back to what we said what we've always said is like this might be the first time that I'm doing this. Yeah. So I'm probably gonna not do it correctly.
Danny:Yeah. But by the tenth time, you know, I may be I may be I may be okay at this Yeah. And then something else comes in the way.
Tyler:You have to get Yeah.
Danny:That's what's happening to you right now also is like your own things that you're going through. You may not get it right the first time. Yeah. But by hopefully the fiftieth time you're moving upwards. Right.
Danny:You know.
Tyler:I mean, yeah, right now it's just like the claw to the attention span, like trying to just, I have to like, so often my brain just wants to shut off. And I know it's because my nervous system is just under attack constantly.
Danny:Cool. And I mean, not to make, not to give a bunch of excuses, but the heaviness of life that's been dealt the last three years plus on top of that, now you're on this pill that's supposed to add to the way you deal with it.
Tyler:Well, mean, yeah, you're absolutely right. Right? Stress can be measured in both time and duration. Right? And intensity.
Tyler:Right? And the more you compound it, it's not always building we're not always building diamonds with that kind of stress. Right? It can be very dangerous. It can be very unhealthy.
Danny:Do you think it's a genetic makeup that you, like, are a survivor fighter? Or do you think that it's just like you're so driven? Because in my sometimes I wonder, like, what caused the man to be like, I'm giving up. Yeah. This is it.
Danny:Today is my last day and I don't have anything left. Yeah. And I'm going to go do something to myself or to others to ensure that, like I mean, at what point did they go, you know what? I've had enough and I don't got no more fight in me. Or do you just think to yourself, no, I always have fight.
Danny:I always have fucking fight.
Tyler:No. Because I think I remember a distinct experience I had my last competition where I was sticking my hand out, like ready to tap and Mike's like, no, don't put your hand out like that. And I pull it in and I was remember I I remember that guy was like, I was and I lasted maybe a few more seconds, ten, fifteen more seconds before I finally tapped, but I was getting crushed by
Danny:this guy. Yeah.
Tyler:I mean, he was easily, you know, he felt like 20 pounds heavier.
Danny:So you think innately you, Tyler, are built to fight through everything even because because I guess like my, you know, if we go dark, if we go dark, right? If we go really dark, what takes, at what point did a man get to suicidal thoughts, suicide? Yeah. Or let's say he's like, you know what, I'm going to take somebody else's life. Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. Is, is that in, is there a genetic code or is it innately that you're like, do you think it's just at what point did they get, you know, I struggle with that sometimes of like, what point did they're like, now fuck this.
Tyler:Where did it go? And I only, I only bring up that story because it was a time where I made the mental choice before I made the physical choice. Right? So I I recognized when the switch flipped for me.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:That I was like, I'm done suffering. I don't have to do this suffering. Right? Yeah.
Danny:Well, you're and you're and going back to jujitsu, your number one job is to stay healthy, to stay alive, and to come out of this thing with the ability to still fight. Yes. Right? Yeah. So innately, that may be who your personality is.
Danny:Yes. Like, I'm gonna tap out right now. Yeah. You know, in Tristan's fight today, I could tell when it was like, oh, he wanted to, know, he's keep fighting, keep fighting. And it was like, he tapped and I was like, thank God.
Danny:Coward, if you get yourself hurt Yeah. He was purple. Worth.
Tyler:He was it was yeah.
Danny:You know? Like, man, made a mistake. It's okay. Right. Keep fighting for another day.
Danny:Right. So, like, that's ingrained in you. Yeah. Yeah. But is there is is there looking back at your thoughts of, you know, people that you know or things that you've done.
Danny:Yeah. At what point did the person go, you know what? Life has gotten to me too much and I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and excuse myself from life.
Tyler:Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and punch my
Danny:ticket. I mean, I don't We don't have to go too dark on it. Just I don't know.
Tyler:I don't I don't know either. I mean, because there's been some really obviously, I grew up in the age of Columbine. We've talked about Columbine. We have this new wasn't there a new one that was just recent? I don't know.
Tyler:I don't watch the news. It's just Yeah.
Danny:It's always something.
Tyler:It's always something. It felt like there was just a new one and that just happened. I mean, I don't I don't know. It seems to be bullying. I don't know.
Tyler:The world seems to think that like these people are getting bullied into it. And I just don't know. I just don't know if it's like they crack to the pressure. I mean, I guess that's they hit a temporary psychosis. Like, don't know, maybe it's not temporary.
Tyler:Maybe it's a long term. The human the human experience is fucking wild. And it's complex and it's unique.
Danny:And you know what else is like, what if that what if it was just one simple experience that could have went either way, somebody being like, hey, are you alright? To him just being like, yeah, not gonna ask you. Yeah. And what if that one experience could have changed their entire trajectory of their life? I think about that a lot.
Danny:Yeah. I think to myself like, man, I want to be that trajectory. I want to be that experience that changed the trajectory of your life. Yeah. For the better.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Right? Which is sometimes why I'm okay, like answering phone calls or like talking to people.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:New experiences. Yeah. I believe that myself that that God has a purpose, you know?
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And you know when you're doing your purpose that you're like, oh, I feel so good about this. Right? Yeah. And you know when you're not. Yes.
Danny:Right? And I know that actions and reactions are swift Yes. When I'm not. Yeah. You know what I'm doing?
Danny:Shit that I shouldn't be doing. Yeah. Yeah. Searching the Internet for porn and stuff. It's like it's like instant in my life.
Danny:It feels like and I I don't know if it's subconsciously or just consciously that I make that decision. But with men, especially because, you know, as we're going through this whole thing of like ups and downs, they happen so frequently, Ups and downs, they happen so frequently that your ups can be really, really high ups and your downs can be really, really low downs. Yeah. And what if you get caught in one of those scenarios of really, really high high where the fall is gonna be so far Yeah. Or really, really low that the climb is gonna be so
Tyler:I mean, I I think we've we've talked about this. It's interesting you bring this up because I think professor said something to me on Wednesday about, like, we were just it was I rolled with him for the first time and we're just kind of flowing and he's, you know, coming to the top and I'm coming to the top and he's like, that's why we bow to the mat. Right? Like we bow to the mat because we have these ups, we have these downs and we come to jujitsu to kind of work through some of these things. Crazy.
Tyler:And I'm like
Danny:Cool way to look at it. Yeah.
Tyler:Yeah. So
Danny:And and as long as we never give up or, you know, tap out on jujitsu or tap out on life, then
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Then we can always, like, accept those things.
Tyler:You know, and I'm watching like this this tournament that the trip just participated in. Congratulations to him, by the way. Like, so proud of him. Yeah. And Nick, like, way to represent class acts.
Tyler:Incredible spirit.
Danny:They definitely left their mark.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nick was looking ripped.
Danny:I know.
Tyler:But I'm like, they're all like, this is great for the sport of jujitsu. I want us to grow. But I'm like, there's part of me that I don't want it to. I selfishly want this to be my little space, my little monk. Is where I we have our own, you know, sanctuary and keep it to myself.
Tyler:But it's And
Danny:and like, it's definitely for the right mindset in men. Yeah. You you better be so humble when you step on the mat. Yeah. And you better be able to, like, really, really, really let your ego.
Danny:Yeah. Like, get on go go ahead. Or else you're gonna have a pretty rough career. Yeah. Probably not gonna last very long.
Danny:Yeah. And I think you're right. I think that sometimes you're like, okay, you're not the right fit for our academy. Yeah. Like it's clear you're not the right fit.
Danny:Yeah. And so let's go ahead and like make this as fast as possible for you to go ahead and fly away little butterfly.
Tyler:Ascend to Go your next ahead.
Danny:It's okay. Yeah. You know, I think that the I think I think we both know men that we'd be like, I encourage you to come, but your day would be horrible. Yeah. Because if he walked on the mat, I would hurt your feelings.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. You know, and that's like a not a good way to look at it. Yeah. You're like sizing guys up about like Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. Yep.
Tyler:I I do that every time I roll past the elementary school. I'm like, oh, I don't see you. You don't look like you, Trane. Well, you're not Ray. You're not Ray.
Tyler:That's right.
Danny:Yeah. One of my friends was asking me, he was like, I feel like, you know, he's quite a bit bigger than me. Yeah. Quite a bit bigger. He's like, I feel like I would hold you down and just smush you.
Danny:And I was like, I know. I get that you feel that way. And he's like, what do you think? And I was like, nope. Nope.
Danny:Yeah. What would you do? He's like, what what what what would you do? And I was like, I would just get you a little off balance. Yeah.
Danny:I was like, but you're you know, do you have have you grappled? Have you fought? Have you done that? He's like, no. And I was like, yeah, there's no way.
Danny:Yeah. There's literally no
Tyler:way. I'm choking you out.
Danny:I wouldn't even like I was like, do you want to try? Do you want to see? Yeah. And he's like, no. No, of course not.
Danny:And I was like, I'm telling you. Yeah. If you have fought Yeah. You might get lucky. And I would have to protect myself pretty well because he's huge.
Danny:Yeah. Right? But there's no way. Literally, there's no way. And I think about like Joe Rogan about like it's a superhero and all this stuff.
Danny:And it's like, yeah, I wouldn't even worry, you know? And he thought that was so funny. He was like, look at the size difference. Yeah. And I was like, that's the best part about it.
Danny:Yeah. Is that you you believe that. I go, but when I'm saying to you, let's try, you're not willing to try. So you don't actually believe. Yeah.
Danny:You don't a 100% believe that you're going to walk away from this unscathed. Yeah. He's like, well, no, maybe I'll get hurt. And I was like, that's why in my mind, I know I wouldn't get hurt. You wouldn't do anything to me to hurt me and I probably would ruin your day.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I even said, I think I have I know some places with padded rooms that we could go try this. Oh, you're try this.
Danny:Like, no. And I was like, that's that's that's exactly what I'm saying is like, is a superhero thing. But I also think it's superhero, what it does to my brain, to my heart, to my spirit Yes. To my controlness. Yeah.
Danny:I believe and I did tell him, was like, look, don't think I was a nice person all the time. I don't think, like, I'm an a good teammate all the time. Yeah. You know, I don't think that I'm always a good teammate. I think that as I've grown into my brown belt, I've learned how to become a really, really, really good teammate.
Danny:Yeah. You know, I don't get upset and I don't go searching to tune you up anymore. But I think like leading up to that, I had those tendencies still. And I think that that's what a beautiful gift that that that we've been allowed to be a part of because I think that I've I've grown as a man Yeah. To just know, like, to know, like Yeah.
Danny:I fuck you up. Yeah. You know, I didn't even be a I wouldn't be a but I also know that. Yeah. You know, and I wouldn't like I would probably hold him down and tickle him like I do with some of the other guys.
Danny:Yeah. Cover his mouth, like, muffled choke his ass. And he'd be like, see? Mean, it'd be literally, it wouldn't even be fun. Yeah.
Danny:But I also know, like, I don't have to.
Tyler:Yeah. That's that is the beautiful thing. I think as I was going through the darkest points of my divorce, like, I quickly came to a point where I'm like, I didn't want to fight anymore outside of the gym. I knew I could get all the fight I needed inside of there. There was no fight really left in me unless things got wacky.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:But I love that too. I love that you're in the moment, your head is clear and you walk out and for a little bit of a time. It does have a it does have a half life. It's about seventy two hours. It's about how long you should
Danny:Of of a of a sparkly eyes.
Tyler:Sparkly eyes.
Danny:Yeah. And I can I can tell you this as you get further in your belts?
Tyler:Forty two hours maybe?
Danny:No. It goes a little so much longer. Yeah. Yeah. Like I had I didn't train the whole time.
Danny:I trained so my goal was to train seven days prior to leaving to Mexico. I was gonna train every day. I missed one day because I got an assignment by my wife that I could not miss out on. And so I wasn't able to train. So I got six out of the seven days.
Danny:I left to Mexico. I didn't train. I I don't eat bad in Mexico, but I definitely drink a lot of beer.
Tyler:Vacationed. You vacationed.
Danny:Yeah. I I don't eat, you know, I don't have a bad stomach, so I don't eat crazy. Yeah. I don't eat a lot of sweets. I don't eat a lot of bullshit.
Danny:I eat pretty clean still. Yeah. But I definitely drink my fair share of beer. When I got back, I trained yesterday. I taught a little bit yesterday with me and Mike Dirson.
Danny:Shout out Mike Dirson. He's freaking amazing. He did. He was he's so good. Took a couple of classes for me and I trained and I felt amazing.
Danny:Yeah. And it lasted. I still was thinking today about how some of the fun that like just some of the nuances that I was been working on that I was able to to do during the open mat. And yeah, the the the love of jujitsu just grows and grows and grows and grows. But white belt, blue belt, purple belt.
Danny:Yeah. Those moments of like happiness are pretty fleeting. They could be a three minute, three minutes. Yeah. Awesome.
Danny:Three minutes. Next round, horrible And three that's how fast life could be like, oh my god, this sucks. Yeah. Oh, this is great. Yeah.
Danny:Oh, this fucking sucks. Oh, this is great. This is great. You know? Yeah.
Danny:And I and I I think that that's how life is. Going back to, you know, men's health and mental wellness is like, don't let this shit eat at you so much that that you forget to to be like, Hey, I'm going to actually take a step back and be like, I'm going to put myself
Tyler:excuse me,
Danny:I'm going put myself out there and I'm going to try Yeah.
Tyler:I it is. It's sad to see when people get get to that point. I hate I even saw it in myself. Right? Life was a to me.
Tyler:Like life was happening to me.
Danny:Yeah. You said that before.
Tyler:Things were to me. Right? It takes a legitimate mind change to go from life isn't happening because to me is scarcity. Right? Like that's what the whole like everybody's scared about not having enough.
Tyler:Right? Like isn't that what capitalism wants us to believe? Isn't that what the government wants to believe that there's not enough iPhones to go around? Yeah. Sure as shit.
Tyler:I bet you they'd sell one to everyone on the planet if they all had the cash.
Danny:Yeah.
Tyler:That'd be enough. Yep. You know?
Danny:Yeah. We'd figure out a way.
Tyler:Yeah. We'd figure out a
Danny:way.
Tyler:Yeah. I mean, like, so we're caught in this mindset of like, not enough, not enough, not enough. And when we allow that to drive our lives, you know, it gets dark. How do you snap that? How do you snap that?
Tyler:Like, luckily for us, we have jujitsu, but if you don't have jujitsu
Danny:Do you yeah, I guess, would it be like, do you have an outlet?
Tyler:Right.
Danny:That challenges you so much that you're so willing to give it all? Sometimes it could be it could be a job. Sure. Sometimes. Sometimes it could be your children.
Tyler:Yeah. Right. Children.
Danny:A marriage. I would hope it's you know, I would would implore men to please don't put that all your eggs into your wife. She'll never be able to carry that burden. Yeah. You know?
Danny:Yeah. She'll never be able to be like, oh yeah, I'm your project. Fuck that. Yeah. You know, but sometimes like growing a relationship, learning how to be a better man, husband, father can be challenging enough.
Danny:Right? And then are you surrounding yourself with the people that are encouraging you to do those things on a daily basis where you're like, no, this person challenges me, accepts me. And then also like encourages me to be a better person. I think that if you, for me, you know, that's I know that like currently our relationship is is like, we're just we're in this moment and it's a it's like this tumbling laundry thing that's like, okay, beep. The buzzer went off.
Danny:Alright. Tyler's dry a little bit. Oh, now he's not. Nope. He's gotta go back in the dryer for a little bit and and that's okay.
Danny:Like, it's it has zero effect on me. It literally has zero effect on me as long as we have our conversations and we we see each other and chat and and I and and you're present.
Tyler:Yeah. You know? I think we're I think we're probably closer to like tumbling rocks. Have you ever polished rocks? Oh, Tumbling rocks.
Tyler:That's what I yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna like Yeah. Knock off each other.
Tyler:We're gonna, you know, smooth out some corners and like, you know, I need I need these interactions. Right? Like when I thought about the whole purpose of this was like, how do I teach my son these lessons? How did I grow up as a, you know, not that my father wasn't there. My father was working.
Tyler:Right? Like he did what he needed to do, but then in the brokenness of a home, right? You're then reduced to the amount that I'm exposed to my father and with my mother more and like, how do I become how do you become a man? What is the what are the litmus tests to becoming a man when you've when you grow up with a single mother in a world that will eat you alive? And mommy all all she want all mommy wants to do is kiss your boo boos and tell you everything's gonna be okay.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. Man, talk about like talk about giving that ownership. It's not like you can give an ownership of teach me how to be a man to your mother. No.
Danny:You know, they're not built for that. No. You know? And if your dad is not present or if your dad is the other thing that I think is is encouraging your your your your boys to be around strong men at all times. Yeah.
Danny:And if I was going to tell you anything about Ben, it'd be like, put him around men that you're like, I like that quality. I like that quality. Yeah. And if he's around men that you don't like that quality around limit And Ben may fight back, but it's like, yeah, don't care right
Tyler:now.
Danny:Yeah, I'm doing this because in ten years, you're going to be like
Tyler:You may care.
Danny:I'm so glad my dad did that as opposed to be like, I wish my dad would have like not listened to me be a crybaby. Right. About shit. Yeah. Instead be like, no, fuck that.
Danny:You're going. I don't You know, because back in the day, that's what they did. You know, if you think about like, you know, back in the Roman ages, you know, you went to become a warrior, but you didn't go to your dad. You went with the other men that were that were there when you were an Indian. Yeah.
Danny:To be with a to to to when your dad was done raising you and you went to with the other warriors and learned how to be Yeah. Because they don't give a shit. Yeah. You can still pray on your dad's kindness and feelings.
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:And I think that for us, we have to do that for our kids.
Tyler:Which we're not doing them a we're not doing them a service by, like, you know, buying them, you know, whatever they want, whatever they need. Like, I'm not saying, like, you know, withhold, but I'm just saying that, like, you have to you have to get I mean, is again, this is my brain failing to function
Danny:It's okay.
Tyler:A 100% of the time, like, it's the external discipline that you need to provide them until they show you that they have the internal discipline. For sure. And it's it's teaching principles rather than enforcing rules like law. Right? I want you to understand the principle.
Tyler:That's why when when Ben had his little fender bender, it wasn't, hey, you know, I'm not mad that you got in the fender bender. I'm I'm mad that there was no trust to call me and tell me that things were okay, that there you didn't have the honor and that you didn't have we didn't have the trust in place. That to me is more important. What do we need to do to build that trust so that you can call me on this kind of stuff? And tell me.
Danny:Those are are two big things that I struggled with with my boys. And I can tell you this, that what I've learned with both my boys is consistency is key. Yeah. Constantly being like, okay, you did it again and I'm gonna chew your ass and guess what? Here comes your father.
Danny:Yeah. But man, when they do when they do give you some of that, like, glimpse of like, oh, I'm getting through. Yeah. Like, hey, this is what I was talking about. Yeah.
Danny:Man, thank you so much for sharing
Tyler:with me.
Danny:Yeah. You know? Misty was today when, you know, when she was talking to Tripp, she's like, I hate when he cries. And I'm like, I fucking love when he cries. Yeah.
Danny:And like you said, what'd you say?
Tyler:Yeah. Because he cares.
Danny:Because he cares. Yeah. Because he cares. And the dude put in all the time, all the work, and it didn't go the way that he seen it going. Mhmm.
Danny:In his mind, he seen it going this way. It didn't go that way. It was emotional. He had a lot of emotion come out of it. And it was like, yeah, but guess what?
Danny:In our sport. Yeah. Somebody gets their hand raised. Somebody doesn't. But guess what?
Danny:Yep. My family and friends love me regardless if I win or lose. So like people would have loved him more. Right. Had he won or lose.
Danny:Right. That dude's friends and family, they don't care. They're they're going love him. He he won. But it's not like everybody's like cheering around and like holding his hand up.
Danny:It's like just a just one fleeting glimpse of fleeting passing moment. Right?
Tyler:Right.
Danny:And but then you go, okay, what did Tristan do? Yeah. Did he show up? Yep. Did he show out?
Danny:Yep. And did he put on what you would consider his game? Right. For sure.
Tyler:How did he how did he represent the Okanya name? Yep. Right? How did he represent the academy? Right.
Tyler:How did he represent himself? Himself. And that was that was I hope he goes back and he watches that match to hear what the commentary was saying. Like, that's huge. Huge.
Tyler:Huge to say. He's bringing the sportsmanship. He's bringing this passion. Neither of these men want to, you know, have it go to the cards and they put on a show.
Danny:Put on a show.
Tyler:They put on a show. When you when you scramble, it was the most one of the most entertaining matches of the night.
Danny:The rest
Tyler:of them were Boring. Boring. Eight minutes of watching somebody dude try to pass pass guard.
Danny:He get caught. Yeah. He stood up. He still raised the other dude's hand.
Tyler:Raised it like, hey,
Danny:thank you for fucking doing this battle with me. Yeah. And so consistency, me, me encouraging him to be around other men who will hold him to that consistency. Right? To hold him to the values that you actually have.
Danny:Yeah. You and Tripp actually have, in in my opinion, a good relationship for 47 year old or 40 how old are you?
Tyler:44.
Danny:44 year old man, 21 year old man. Yeah. Right. You guys have an actual relationship with each other because he values your opinion. Plus he also values you as a friendship.
Danny:Right? Going forward, like when those men start to struggle, really struggle. Yeah. Guess what? There's going to be around people around them that are going to lift them up and be like, hey, you know what?
Danny:You're way more important here on this earth. Yes. Than not. Yeah. You know?
Danny:Yeah. And one of those interactions, one single interaction changes everything. Yep. You know? And it could change, like, months, years of interaction because think about what the interactions that you've had, how much different your life is now if you didn't have those things Yeah.
Danny:Going through what you went through. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Divorce, death. Yeah.
Danny:The the the gauntlet of shit. Yeah. Serious disease diagnosis. Yeah. To one single fucking man.
Danny:Yeah. And guess what? The world says.
Tyler:Well, nobody gives a shit. Nobody gives a shit. Nobody gives a shit.
Danny:No. It's not like I'm it's not like every day I'm like, man. God, poor Tyler.
Tyler:He is so funny. I got a handicap parking pass. Yeah. And everyone's like, how'd you get a handicap parking pass? And I was like, I really just think I was in a bad mood.
Tyler:And I caught the doctor in, like, this awkward position where she was like, he's obviously upset. How can I make him feel better? And so I kind of guilted her into giving me a handicap parking pass.
Danny:Every time I see it, I think, how the fuck do you have a handicap parking pass?
Tyler:It is it is like I am I am not meeting any serious woman parking the grocery store parking lot and hopping out in my handicap pass.
Danny:Oh my god.
Tyler:My dad loves it. Yeah. I love it. You know? It's now it's Ben took one to school, so he is at the school.
Tyler:Good for you. And I'm like, well, you know? Yeah. So it is what it is, man. Consistency.
Tyler:Consistency. Sometimes you have it, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you just got to find your way back to it.
Danny:Yeah. Keeping consistency, keeping regardless of if it's like every week or but if it's like, no, I'm gonna every every opportunity I get to be consistent. Yeah. I'm going to be consistent. Speaking of so during the camp, Terry Mhmm.
Danny:Was doing push ups. Yeah. Do you remember that? Yeah. 100 push ups a day.
Danny:Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I'm gonna start that. Yeah. So I started the I started during the camp.
Danny:I still am I'm doing a 100 push ups a day, at least for a year, potentially even longer. But what I then I thought, oh, you know what else? I mean, I really I mean, push ups are great, but I'm also going to do squats. I do 100 push ups a day, 200 squats a day, every day. I've done it.
Danny:And now now mind you, even in Mexico, when you know, you're like, oh my God, I cannot do this. Yeah. Yeah. I still did a 100 push ups, 200. Damn.
Danny:And it's just my only accountability.
Tyler:Are you doing them right in a row or you breaking them out throughout
Danny:the I can do a 100 push ups in a row. Yeah. They're not and and they're not perfect formed push ups. And I and I change, like, how my hand positions are. They're not perfect form squats there.
Danny:And I and I do have changed to split squats. But the other day, Terry showed a picture and he was like, dude, I've been doing this for, you know, three or four months and looking at the difference in my body. Yeah. And I looked in the mirror and I was like, I there's a there's a significant difference in my body from doing these things.
Tyler:Just calisthenics.
Danny:Just literally squats, push ups. Yeah. A legitimate difference in my So I was talking to that with Preston. Preston started doing them. Right?
Danny:Mhmm. Tripp has subsequently started doing push ups and sit ups a day or sorry, push ups and squats. And consistently, if you do them, if you do them every day, They are not it's sometimes boring. You know, I've still got to go home and do mine tonight. Currently, have 4,900 push ups and 8,800 squats
Tyler:Dang.
Danny:Since July 21 was my first day. And I'm on August or September 6. I've been doing them since then. And it goes into my learning how to do, like, Google Sheets
Tyler:and do, like, Excel And
Danny:yeah. So I I would encourage everybody if you wanna start something, if you're looking to start something, just do push ups. Just push ups. Just do push ups and squats and and let me know. I I would like to know also, like, hey, what how does your body feel?
Danny:What like, do you see a difference? Do you feel a difference? Yeah. Yeah. I feel like significant difference.
Tyler:Interesting.
Danny:And and going back to our consistency or just starting something, it was so simple to start it.
Tyler:Yeah. It there's nothing. Yeah. There's no excuse. No excuse other than
Danny:just takes it takes you thirty to forty minutes. Yeah. Sometimes Preston was saying that he does his ten ten groups of 10 for his push ups. And I think he said groups of twenties for his squats. Yeah.
Danny:Yeah. I would encourage you. I would like to see if you're looking to start something. Yeah. Just start that and then let me know.
Tyler:Alright.
Danny:What you think in a couple months, we'll come back and we'll we'll see if you're if you're staying consistent. Keep track of it. Okay. But, yeah, it's amazing.
Tyler:Okay.
Danny:There's a huge difference.
Tyler:I'll I'll do it.
Danny:Yeah. What what what else you got gonna come up?
Tyler:That's it, man. Just it's it's the summer feels like it's over, man. We we've I traveled so hard that it's like now we get into fall.
Danny:Yeah. We're gonna be back on the bus in fall. Yeah. Doing our fall bus
Tyler:Yeah.
Danny:Through this through the snow. Yeah. I am competing October 16 Got that. For Grappling Industries. I'm gonna do February.
Danny:And then currently, I told Mike that I will do a super fight for the camp.
Tyler:Hell yeah. Wow.
Danny:That's an announcement out there. I know he'll he'll do what he can to get me a fight. But yeah, I'm going to compete.
Tyler:Can I compete at this?
Danny:I was the last couple of weeks watching Tripp and my Nick. Nick, the last two times, just man stepping up. Tripp tonight, It just was like, you know what? I don't want them guys out there by themselves. Yeah.
Danny:You know, I wanna be out there representing Yeah. The academy. I know a bunch of guys are competing in October. I know most people are planning to to know about February, planning to compete February. Yeah.
Danny:I hope there'll be some other guys that step up and get some super fights for the next camp. Yeah. Yeah. There's still so much. We we start to talk about.
Tyler:Dude, so much.
Danny:We still have to talk about camp fights.
Tyler:Camp fights?
Danny:My trip to Mexico.
Tyler:Mexico.
Danny:And what else? I mean, there's so much that we've got to cover.
Tyler:Yeah. Durango.
Danny:We Yeah. Have like I forgot you guys went to Durango.
Tyler:We mean, I put nearly 5,000 miles on my car in August.
Danny:Dude, when I got here, I was upstairs and I seen this picture. I was like, oh my gosh, Tyler. Is that your dad? And then here's his dad with Tyler as a one year old. Yep.
Danny:And talk about like a good looking family, like your mom and your dad and you guys with your blonde hair. And then there's a picture of Nick. Yeah. You know, with your family is like, man, what a cool thing to see.
Tyler:I mean, I didn't know I had pictures of my first birthday. Like, that was one of the shocking things. Like, when Cammy and I got married, she was like, you don't have any pictures of yourself. I'm like, they're out there. Just took me twenty years to find them.
Danny:Yeah. Sponsorship shout outs. We do have Mountain Elite massage. Go see Misty, Crystal Joy in them. They are big they're big supporters of Tyler and I.
Danny:If you mentioned them, they'll probably if you mentioned us, the podcast, they'll give you a probably a discount as long as you're talking to Misty and Abby, which is the person that takes care of everything.
Tyler:Or at least a bottle of water.
Danny:A list of bottle of water. There's they got the salt room, the sauna. Yeah. They've got foot soak. If you want to make a day of it with your wife, they've got all that stuff.
Danny:The the the therapists they have now are second to none. I've heard so many rave reviews. I heard they were number one in Google for Heber Valley. Oh, no surprise. Which is huge because of of the level of market that we have here because of Park City and then we have Heber.
Danny:We just have all these things. Yeah. Yeah. I did get an invite onto a podcast Salt Electrolytes, you know, the guy that was there.
Tyler:Yeah. Yeah.
Danny:In two weeks, I'll be on that podcast. Nice. I'm going to be working to try to get to get some sort of back and forth where he's coming on our podcast and then try to work out some some other deals with him. Nice. Yeah.
Danny:We're just I I think that we're just this is just another moment and before long, we're going to be like, people are gonna be knocking on the doors trying to be one, try to fight the shit out of us. Two, maybe be our sponsorships. And, yeah, I'm so grateful for you. Shout out to Chocos because look at Tyler's Chocos. If you're ever on the YouTube, dude has the six shoe game right now.
Danny:I've heard him get a lot of comments on that. Chocos, we'd love to have you guys sponsor us.
Tyler:Custom made, man. Custom made.
Danny:We are hippie line. Say it again? Yeah. What Remember you called it the hippie line?
Tyler:Oh, yeah. We're we're we're hoping for that. What is what is no. It's this Jesse's word.
Danny:Hippie tan line or something.
Tyler:Hippie tan line. Dirty hippie tan he's got a we got he's got a word for it. We haven't even talked about Jesse.
Danny:I know.
Tyler:We we need to get him on the We
Danny:need get Jesse on.
Tyler:Okay. We got
Danny:so much to
Tyler:we got word for We
Danny:have guests. We have life. We have all these things, and we're gonna get back to being consistent. Yeah. We're gonna make sure that that every man knows that he has a purpose in this life, and he just needs to find it.
Danny:Yep. And as long as you stay consistent, as long as you keep fighting, go find a jujitsu academy. Find some friends and families that will will will push you to be the best that you can be through all bullshit. Yeah. You know?
Danny:Yeah. And so thank you. Thanks for tonight. It was fun. We had a good time.
Tyler:Appreciate it. Yeah.
Danny:Always. Trip, always. Nick, so proud of you guys.
Tyler:We
Danny:love you guys. Park City Jiu Jitsu. Come check us out. Come hang out. And professor Mike and Mona, thank you so much for never closing the doors.
Danny:Never. Let's go. Alright. See you guys. Cheers, everybody.
