Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Swell AI Transcript: S1 E9.wav
00:00 Danny Welcome to the Last Boy Scouts podcast. We're your hosts. I'm Danny. And I'm Tyler. We also have the special guest Braxton. He's still in town. So Tyler and I both thought that we would just have him on here and have his piece of conversation. We're just going to have a conversation today.

00:21 Tyler We're going to recover, recap last week's episode, Boys and Sex. Yeah. You know, this is a show for men, by men. And so why not take every opportunity to bring in other perspectives? Right. I think that's what's unique about us as men is that we can maybe we don't we can disagree or maybe this is just our jujitsu perspective. Right. It doesn't matter your opinion, your political affiliation. When we meet on the mat, like we're all equals. Or there's like at least there's a pecking order.

00:53 Danny Yeah. And belt these sides. Yeah. Like who gets to say whatever they want to say. Right. And do what they want. And sometimes the belts like run the room, run the mat. And you know that like there is a pecking order. But when you have this this group that we had this this we had Braxton and Roman last weekend and Tyler and I's perspective, which was different than Braxton and I, we we did showed me what he what they were talking about with the Snapchat and the only fans. And he was like, Dad, this is exactly what I mean.

01:28 Braxton Right. Absolutely. I had a random quick ad and I was like, if I had accepted, nothing would have happened within like the two to three hours after. But sort of down the line, she would have said, hey, right. Here's my nudes or subscribe to this.

01:47 Tyler Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy. Because the funny thing happened, like I'm not on Snapchat, but I got one of those and it was from a lady here in Utah offering offering massage services. This is sad. This is this is sad.

02:02 Danny Like this is where this is where we get stuck in. We get stuck. Yeah. Especially because I don't know very much about it. And I was even telling Braxton, I was like, no way. This is come on. This cannot be like that. And he's like, no, Dad, seriously. And I almost in my old school thought was like, except for as a friend, let's see what happens. You know, yeah, let her show us. Right. And I was like, no, I got to be a it's it's weird to me because I don't understand it

02:30 Tyler enough where I feel like I'd get myself into trouble for sure. It's just it's just a way. It's just a path to go down that synthesizes, you know, connection. Right. You know, if you're lonely and you spend most of your life playing video games or watching TV like you're not building that connection. Right. And it's a cheap way to fake intimacy. Right. And so those men that get caught in those traps, like I feel sad for them. Right. And because they're not fulfilling their potential. Right. Right. They don't know how how beautiful it is to have those conversations, to be involved in with a woman, to to connect on that level where you're actually like building something. And until you've had children, Braxton, sorry, you probably you may not even get this. Like there is like there is a there's a beauty in the connection you have with your partner as you go through that that process. It's almost godlike where you're bringing you're bringing life into this world. And you know, we fake that and it's not the same.

03:33 Danny Well, and we don't want like we told Braxton this week. He has a responsibility to have at least four to five to six children because our lineage, that's how you that's how your lineage comes off. And it was it was really funny that Misty and I was we're telling him. But here Misty and I only have two kids. Right. And he was like, well, he said, well, my pretend wife who I'm going to convince to have six kids. That's what he said. I did indeed. It's interesting. It's such a weird world that we're living in. And that's what we're when we were talking with. We had a really good day today. We went to the lake today. Yeah. The our little Jiu-Jitsu group that we hang out with went to the lake today. And yeah. And we had a person that was there that was like, this is so cool to watch how you guys interact. Yeah. And it's it really is like we're a family, like we're a small family where this small group, a small tribe inside of the tribe that we're our small academy is. And our children are a part of that. Our our loved ones are a part of that. And then you can bring friends in and they feel like it's just right at home.

04:45 Tyler They feel like they're. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And then next thing you know, they're they're kicking your butt.

04:51 Danny They're on the mat. Yeah. And that's what you want. That's what that's the thing that you're hoping for. That's the goal that we want. And so today we're just going to converse. We're going to we're going to talk about June being men's mental health month. And I thought it was Pride Month. Yeah, it always gets taken away.

05:11 Tyler I mean, I'm sorry. That was kind of an underhanded comment. But like, you know, men is 50 percent of the population. And we're supposed to be tough, right? And we're supposed to be tough. And they want us to be, you know, they want us to change.

05:24 Danny But we'll give us our damn month back. Yeah. Yeah. Don't take it away from us. And Braxton was telling me a little bit about like some of the things that he has to deal with with the with the military guys. And they're they're they're told from a very early on in their stage, like you don't complain, you just go about it and you and you and you keep your mouth shut. You know, you you you go the business, you do the business, you know. And when you talk about men's.

05:57 Tyler Wait, so that's a backup from a context of like when you're on deployment, when you're you're working up things, you just you're just supposed to compartmentalize it.

06:04 Braxton Yeah, absolutely. So on the deployment, you're on a 24 hour shift. Yeah. And not every M.O.S. or job is like that. But there's always shifts work or something like that. You have what you can deal with in reality and what you have to worry about with what's going on. Yeah. And Iran or wherever else, Syria. So you have to take it in segments. And you're like, OK, what can I handle today? Yeah. What can we accomplish today while still maintaining mission? OK. And nine times out of 10, they're going to send you to behavioral health. And oh, it's so bad behavioral health. It just sounds condescending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, it's actually if it's used properly, kind of like the sharp program. Yeah. You can actually get a lot out of it. Right. But yeah, you are.

06:58 Tyler It's marketed really, really great. Right. Yeah. I mean, that makes sense. Right. Nobody wants to deal with with, you know, mental health issues. Nobody. And then there's something to that, right? Like mental health issues stay with you for a long time. So if there's a diagnosis and I'm not a clinician and I'm not, you know, I don't have the ability to diagnose anyone, but I've done my research as I've struggled with my own, you know, kind of emotions and thoughts. And, you know, there's a reason that like 95 percent of narcissists, what we can consider people that are narcissistic, won't submit for treatment. Right. They don't want that diagnosis to stay with them. They don't want to become part of a a a health system that in this country, at least, is fairly broken. Right. Absolutely. Because it could impact your job. Yeah.

07:47 Braxton The other problem that we suffer when we go on a deployment or overseas or anything like that is everything that's going on with us is seven hours behind what's actually happening. So when it's midnight back or over in the Middle East. Right. What's happening is. Back during the day where they're awake and everybody's kind of alive, and whereas I'm asleep or I'm trying to sleep and I'm having to force myself out of my sleep when I'm about to go and take a shift to deal with something that's going on back home that I don't have an option to do because I'm seven thousand miles away. And my support is the people that I'm around, but everybody has their own thing. And it's it's very, very, very toxic environment.

08:36 Tyler Yeah, it's hard to prioritize and execute when you're you've got, you know, your personal life back home. You've got your work life that's currently in front of you. But you also have work issues that are potentially back at your original, you know, wherever you're stationed normally. Is that what I'm understanding?

08:52 Danny And let's say let's say honestly, like, what if it's not work issues? What if it's like family issues? What if it's and and just simple eyes? What if it's like a girlfriend? Yeah, if it's like a wife, something like a wife. Right. Right. And now you're having to deal with these things as your so far away. Yeah. And it's not real time. And so even for our veterans and our military men, there's no real help because your mission is to be able to compartmentalize what's happening now, what you can deal with right now and what you can maybe put away and deal with later. Right. And so in in the military sense, the men's mental health is so far because you're expected to be this tough person. You're expected to be a warrior. And your support group is the people around you, like Braxton Sane, the people around you. And now all of a sudden, everybody's like, well, I can't help you with your stuff because I'm dealing with my own stuff. Yeah. And we deal with that all the time. Men deal with that all the time. You're supposed to go to work. You're supposed to put whatever's going on at home in the compartment where you can deal with it later. And you deal with work and you you focus on work. Right. And you're taught that from a very young age. It's OK. Like, it's still going to be there today. Still going to be there tomorrow. Sure. Right.

10:26 Tyler Now you need to work. You need to. Yeah. And I mean, I think some some of that has to do with how our brains function. Right. Like we don't function in what we call task switching very well. We lose processing power in modern day computing. Right. Like we have these computers that they can handle task switching very well because it can allocate memory, you know, from one application to another application, our brains, which are, you know, the basis of computing. They don't do that very well. We tend to get very flustered. And so how do we as other men, how do we show up?

10:57 Danny How do we break this cycle and how do we show up for each other? And how do you address it so that you're not you don't feel like the person is just putting you off? Right. Or the fact that like, what if what if I don't feel like your problem is as important as Braxton? Right. And I'm like, well, you can deal with that. Braxton can't deal with this. And I don't know how many times Braxton has called me and said, I'm on another suicide watch, dad. I'm on another suicide watch right now. And I'm thinking, I've never dealt with that in my I've never dealt with that ever. And he's been on multiple suicide watches. You're talking with a man who has decided that the only thing left to do in his life is to take his own life. Right. And so when we talk about that, we I have to not only help Braxton compartmentalize the fact that he's helping this person. Right. And we're going to get this we're going to get this man through it.

11:52 Tyler Can we can we touch on like, what does that actually mean? Like what are you I mean, as safe as you feel like sharing, like what does that mean for somebody that has to be on a suicide watch for

12:03 Braxton for somebody else? So again, it's another army program. It's called ACE. Ask. I can't remember what the C in the East stand for. Care and escort, I think it is what it is. And so basically, if someone comes to you and says, I'm going to kill myself, immediately, you're not allowed to leave that person alone until you find someone else or you get the medical help. You are immediately not allowed to let them be by themselves whatsoever. So then you sit there and you call the battalion chaplain, which is the religious, whatever they practice. Right. They come and they give you advice and they talk to this person. And then on top of that, they get escorted to the hospital where they are undergoing their scene, a psychologist or anything like that. So a little different on a deployment because we're in an austere kind of environment. Yeah. But yeah, you you sit there and then they what they do is they rotate people through and you basically babysitter. Right. You sit there for however long. Sometimes it's two hours, sometimes it's six hours. And you just never leave the person. The only time that they let you leave them is when they go with a

13:15 Tyler care provider. Yeah. So I mean, what this shows me is right, is life is inconsistent and unpredictable. Absolutely. Which leads to stress way back. And our ability to to manage stress. And this is not gender specific. This is everybody. Sure. Right. Our our love, our ability to manage stress, you know, really has to do with our the capacity of our nervous system. Sure. And if you are untrained, how to recognize, if you are untrained, how to feel, if you're told to put those feelings aside, if you're told to not feel those feelings, you live inside of the stress. And so you have a built buildup of cortisol. Right.

13:57 Danny And and and so. You know, where do we where do we lead ourselves as men? Yeah. What can we do? Yeah. If you don't have a support system that like, let's say Braxton wasn't taught to call the person that who he trusts the most, the most. Right. And we touched on this with the father. We touched on this the side before of like how Tyler and I ourselves strive. We strive hard to be our children's pillows. Now, sometimes we have to be the hand, but we really want to be our children's pillows where when our children are stressed, our children are scared. They're nervous. They come to us and they feel like our dads are going to know exactly what we're going through. And they're going to be OK because I've never dealt with it. Right. Right. So all of that cortisol, all of those emotions, all of that stress that Braxton's under that I'm watching him with a young man or a young person under. I'm trusting that what I've taught him, he's going to be able to now employ and use. Right. Yeah. And so what do we do? How as men, how as parents, as as guidance, as as guardians and people that guide these young souls, how do we how do we teach them? How do we talk to them? You're scared, you're nervous, you're frustrated, you're tired. Well, you can't do it yourself. Like, yeah, I can't be there with him. I can't hold his hand.

15:25 Tyler Yeah. I think for the first thing is one recognize, recognize your ability and your capacity to help. Right. We are. You know, we are not psychiatrists. We're not not everybody's a psychologist. Right. So if we if we, you know, end up trying to help, we may just be absorbing that energy. Right. So no way to suggest that somebody gets help. Know how to lead them. Know where to to point them, which direction to point them in. Right. In your case, you luckily you have, you know, there's a system in place. You can say, hey, hit this service like I'm here for you. When you get out, let me know. You all that at that point, all you can be is a friend. Right. Because it starts right there. It starts right there. If somebody else knows that they have somebody else that cares about them, even just on a limited capacity. And you may you may hate it. You may be like this jackass just woke me up in the morning. Yeah, he's told. Yeah. Right. Like and it's absolutely you feel yourself building that stress. What are the signs that you look for? Right. What are the signs they look for to to make that recommendation and to pass off somebody to a mental health professional? It's fairly easy. Right. Their capacity to handle the stress. Right. Where like on a spectrum of of you know, you've got Bruce Banner. He's the he's the Hulk before the Hulk. Right. He's just this kind of normal guy to to the Hulk. Right. That's the spectrum you're looking on. Is this person acting like Bruce Banner would act or is this person freaking out? Are they panicked? Are they is there are they breathing heavily like, you know, look at the spectrum and that is going to be the spectrum that you can actually handle if they're if they're calm, if they're collected. They may be down. Right. You can you can start, you know, just talking to them. But if they are, if they're irrational, you know, you you may need to you may need to suggest that, hey, we've got to get more help than I can provide.

17:19 Danny For sure. Do you ask them about their support system? Do you ask them like what their support system is like? Because I know because I mean, I personally know what your support is. Right. And we have you and I have these conversations where where sometimes I tell you, I'm just going to listen. Mm hmm. Not going to like I'm not going to say anything, which has gotten us.

17:36 Braxton It's been a while for us to get to that point. Right. For sure. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So they actually give classes on. Oh, cool. On ace and everything like that. And a lot of times they'll do role play because people don't know what to do. And it's extremely uncomfortable to ask somebody, are you going to kill yourself? Are you thinking of having or are you having thoughts of killing yourself? Are you having any kind? Are you having thoughts of hurting somebody else? And it makes people uncomfortable because it's it's it's so frowned upon in society nowadays because it is a very big thing and it has a huge percentage in our population of people who want to kill themselves or harm themselves or seek that kind of attention when really all they want is somebody that just cares. And so, yeah, you you will ask them. All kind of who's your support, where's your support at? What what do you have? OK, what do you need? And then ultimately, are you going to hurt yourself? Are you going to kill yourself? Are you having thoughts of killing yourself? Have you had a plan? When's the last time you had a plan? And it makes people very uncomfortable, even in just the classroom environment, when you're not even remotely near anybody that may want to kill themselves. Having people put you on the spot and being like, you need to ask this person, are they going to kill themselves? You're like, OK, this is it's very heavy work and it's very heavy to be like, OK.

19:03 Tyler Yeah, I mean, I don't know anyone who has dealt with a suicide in the family that hasn't felt the heaviness of of that as well. Right. Like, so, you know, it it it the uncomfort as uncomfortable as the training is, like you have to kind of be thankful. Like if you just help just one person, just one person or that person that you're working with helps one person get out of your comfort zone.

19:26 Danny Exactly. We always talk about it was Braxton because I personally know he's helped not just one person, multiple people, multiple men, multiple military men through a suicide watch or a fact that they said that they were going to harm themselves. And so I don't I've never experienced that, but I'm always like, he's a superhero. He literally is a superhero in my eyes because he's helped people. He has such a soft support system, right? He has you guys. He has the academy. He has his parents. He has all the support system. But not everybody has that. Not everybody has that. And he can be somebody that goes, hey, man, these are the things that I do. These are the this is the this is the system that I go down. Then the fact that Tyler and I are imploring people to to reach out, to talk, to help, to if you have questions, find us. But then, you know that we're doing we're doing something right. Right. I know, like in even other terms, I know, like, and I don't mean to call out what your your your situation, but I know your children turn to you. I know they turn to you. And when we talk about it, I'm always like, yeah, this is what you want. You want your children to turn to you. You want them to look to you and be like, this is what I need. And I'm OK telling you this. And they don't always have that in every scenario.

20:57 Tyler Every family is a little bit different. That's funny. I was. Yeah, I definitely recognize that. And one of the things that I I personally go through a checklist is is somebody choking. Somebody drowning, right? Somebody on fire. Yeah. Like, are they bleeding profusely? Yeah. Like that helps me just kind of calm myself down. Right. And fall back into myself. OK. There's the initial panic of the scream or the fight or the the wailing or or the little nitpicking of kids that gets on your nerves. And you have to just say, OK, is somebody choking? Is somebody drowning? You know what I mean? Like and just find a way to calm your nervous system,

21:34 Danny to expand the capacity to to handle that stuff and to help that person and help to help, because what we're the three of us and our and our friends are trying to do is just raise awareness that men go through struggles. Men have situations, men have problems. And while our sisters and our our significant others and the women in our lives, they have their own situations. We just as men are only we're not trying to exclude them. We're just saying that we're here for them. We'll we'll help you. It's just that men process things differently. Men don't look at it the same way. We when we struggle, sometimes like we really struggle. And sometimes it can be like full on mental inside. I'm only thinking of myself and what I'm going through. And if you were looking at it from another perspective, you'd be like, what is he? Why are you so your life is amazing? Why are you so upset? And it's just that I'm stuck in my own turmoil. Yeah, I'm stuck in my own downside of my central nervous system that I'm not at the middle line. I'm underneath. Yep. And I'm struggling. Yeah, I'm struggling to get back to the top. Yeah. Are you drowning? Are you drowning?

22:49 Tyler I mean, in a sense, it's not the physical drowning in water that you would expect. But yeah, you're kind of drowning in your own emotion. You're wallowing. Right. And we you know, we need to break those patterns through through behavior. I'll be changing behavior. Right. The changing our behavior, changing our actions is how we train our brain to move above and beyond to refocus its energy. Right. Otherwise, our brain will will say things like, oh, well, you, you know, you like to fix things. Well, let me give you some more things to fix. You know, next thing you know, you're getting bombarded with all of your your you know, all of these problems that your brain is kind of just, you know, thinking up. It's OK to have thoughts, but those you're not your thoughts.

23:33 Danny And I would say that, like, especially the three of us, we know how to play out the scenario in our heads before the scenario even finishes playing out. Sure. Like we've went through though the I can't remember how you call the chaos. Partly the chaos, the the the catastrophic. Oh, yeah. The cat is the catastrophic implor and implosion. Tyler tells me this all the time. You've catastrophically. I'm going to say that wrong. It's a catastrophic Lee already played out the worst case scenario. Right. Whenever I'm talking to Tyler or even like sometimes Braxton he's like, you've already had this the worst case scenario in your head.

24:13 Tyler Right. The worst case scenario has already played out in your head. Right. And when you when you understand that and you reframe, right. Worst case scenario, you can mitigate for it. You can. Right. You can say, OK, well, it hasn't happened yet.

24:24 Braxton So how do I go about mitigating it? For sure. Absolutely. Yeah. It happens a lot in the military, too. Just because of people being away from everything. And then the old like the I was telling I can't remember who I was talking to. I think I was talking to Preston about how the military's schedule is just not a set schedule. It's always changing. And so people can adapt to it. And so they automatically they're like, you get a call and you're like, hey, you're going to the field catastrophically. Oh, man. I have all these plans. I have all these plans that now I have to adjust. Or you're on an immediate reaction force. And that's where you sit and you're you can't go outside 50 miles. You can't do this. You can't do that. Because in a moment's notice, you have 48 hours to be overseas.

25:15 Tyler Yeah. In a way, we kind of need to start reclassifying like what is a true catastrophe. Right. Right. Like to me, when I think of a catastrophe, I think of like 9-11. Or shooting. Right. Like it impacts thousands of people or hundreds of people or multiple people. Right. Yeah. Whereas like that, you know, it sounds like an inconvenience of the job. Right. Absolutely. Like you chose that job and inconveniently they've, you know, that's the same thing as hitting traffic for those of us who aren't in the military. Right. Absolutely. With your top off. Right. With your top off and it's raining outside.

25:48 Danny Yeah. Yeah. So just so we're clear. So our friends and our family, the watchers, we were coming home from the lake today and we're in our Jeep with our enclosure and my Jeep top comes off. We didn't take it off. And all we thought about giggling and laughing was, Tyler, we could see him ahead of us in his top. It's all like, and so I'm like, Tyler, how's everything? He's like, it's amazing.

26:10 Tyler This is the greatest thing ever. It's not struggling. Right. I posted in my stories that like I could have really seen it as bad. Like, oh, it's traffic. Right. Traffic on 40 was terrible. And I said, you know what? I actually needed a shower. Yeah. And I could see people snickering at me as I drove by, like kind of laughing at me. And I'm like, you know, it's built to get wet. Yeah. I didn't know it was going to rain.

26:32 Danny So reframing, looking at things. We we ourselves, you know, our little group of Jiu-Jitsu people that we talk to, we always look at it with happy eyes. We always look at it with sparkly eyes. When you're looking for something and you're you know, we're talking about these these catastrophic in your brain, these things that are just like they're catastrophic and you can see the worst case scenario of them. Maybe look at them with eyes of what's the best that can come out of this? What am I learning from this? And, you know, we all go through struggles. We all have these really, really hard and down times that we're going through. But like we talked about before, somebody on this little tiny rock loves you. Yeah. Somebody really is going to be sad. Somebody is really going to be hurt if you choose to take that that that final destination, that final. I don't I can't be here anymore. I'm not going to be here anymore. You know, somebody loves you, somebody wants you here. And all we're doing is imploring you to to really ask, ask for help, ask for help. At reach out, reach out to somebody and be like, hey, I'm struggling. And if you're not uncomfortable and if you're uncomfortable with that, then find a support group that you find comfort and solace.

27:57 Tyler Yeah. You know, there's the there's the National Suicide Hotline. Yeah. We can look that number up here as we as we, you know, go through the rest of the podcast and make sure we distribute that number, because if you don't know about it, you should know about it. You know, I've been blessed. I feel like I've had a lot of I haven't had the smoothest seas when it comes to, you know, my life choices. But, you know, smooth seas never made a good captain. Right. So, you know, I feel blessed and prepared that I've done. I've been able to accomplish a lot with with the situations that I've oftentimes put myself in, because if I take ownership of those things, I also can take ownership of of the ability to get out of those things. And I love the the concept of reframing, specifically from a jujitsu perspective, right. We have frames in jujitsu and they help us stay safe. Right. And when we want to change or increase our position

28:56 Danny to get into a better position, what do we use? We always use those frames to we always use the frame to help us gain some space to redirect energy.

29:08 Tyler Right. And and and and ideally create a better position for a position. Right. And it's us doing the work. It's not what the partner is doing. It's not what's happening to you. It's us doing the work. And it's the same thing to change our perspective. Yes, it's often a mental a mental workload that you've got to work through. Right. It's it's hard to change a brain pattern. But it's it's start simply create a little space, detach and gain some perspective. As soon as you have that perspective, you can say, OK, how can I read? Is anybody drowning choking around fire? How do I how do I reattach this problem?

29:48 Danny Right. How do I go about solving this problem? Brackson would bring Brackson brought into our family. I think I've talked about this before. He said, OK, we're going to give a certain time limit to the to what you're upset about. We're going to give you're going to give some time to that. You're going to give like 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Yeah, we're going to give a time limit to it. And then that's it. That's all you have. That's all you have to give to that. Then you're going to find something that you're happy about.

30:16 Braxton Yeah. In that 20 minutes, you're going to bitch. You're going to complain. You're going to cry. You're going to be upset. Whatever you got. And then after the 20 minutes, you're like, all right, this is what I'm going to do going forward. This is my plan of action. I'm going to do what I got to do to to get to where I need to be. Yeah. Because at the end of the day, whatever whatever has happened has already happened. And we can't control what's going to happen besides what's going on right now. It doesn't make any sense to hold on to it any longer than 20 to 25 minutes.

30:48 Tyler That's that's funny. I remember this the same from my mission when I served my Mormon mission. We had the one of the missionaries from the south was like he nicknamed a Napa Waller. Right. I'm going to take myself a Waller. Well, I remember my mission president, the guy that was in charge, who is kind of an ecclesiastical leader. He goes, we don't use the term Waller anymore. Waller is what pigs do. They Waller in the mire. Right. And it actually is like it's interesting to think about. Like, we don't want to be pigs that just kind of sit there and slam in our own toxic thoughts. Yeah. Right. We you know, we don't want to be in the pigsty. Right. Right. We have to start finding a way out. Nobody is coming to rescue you. Nobody is.

31:32 Danny No. And truth of the matter is nobody really cares that much about your own, like your own your own problems. Right. They don't care enough about it. But here's the thing. As soon as you start opening up to people and you find common ground with them, you find that common unity. What's going to happen? They're going to take an interest. Right. They're going to. They're going to be like, hey, how are you? How's things? Man, I'm happy. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you. And they're going to do these little tiny things. You're going to start doing these little tiny things to each other. And what happens is eventually that whole saying of, no, your problems are not more than mine. Those go away because you're in this common unity. You're in this little small group of people that you care and you want to see each other succeed.

32:23 Braxton And this goes back to where you were asking to ask for help. We also as outsiders have to be able to ask them the hard question of because you hang out with them so much. OK, I notice this difference. I notice this change in your behavior. I notice this change in your talking or what's going on with you. Are you going to hurt yourself? Because we as outsiders can see it more than they're willing to help as. Ask for help, so it may be better for you to change their tone and be like, hey, I see this, I'm going to grab you out of it and pull you. Are you going to hurt yourself? Are you going are you thinking of hurting somebody else? Are you thinking of doing this? Yeah, don't do it.

33:09 Tyler Let's get you help. Right. Was it the Jordan Peterson book on the lobsters? Where did he ever did he think? Did he talk about lobsters in a bucket and how they like or in a tank that they're

33:19 Danny like, if one tries to escape that the other lobsters will pull them down? The lobster story. This is pretty fascinating. It really was fascinating. There's a lot, a lot to digest in the lobster story. You told me about the lobster story and you said, I have to relisten to it because I got a good gist about it. And then now I'm powering through the book and I'm always like, I'm going to go back to the lobster side. Yeah, because they they do they they they're the way that they their society is mirrors our society to a to a point, to a certain extent. And his point was, which lobster do you want to be? Do you want to be the lobster that helps that that's that holds its ground or the one that goes away and now your brain has to regenerate? It doesn't die and regenerate.

34:06 Tyler It's such a loss to brain dies. They're like some of the oldest, you know, living creatures on the planet, too. So there's that's, you know, that's why they study them. And he said that. Yeah, that was super.

34:16 Braxton They're also immortal. They only die because they can't they can't shed their skin. So once they get too big, they just die because they can't shed their skin. But if they could just continuously shed their skin, they would survive forever.

34:29 Danny They're like jellyfish. Really? Yeah. I got stung by a jellyfish once. It's the worst thing in the world. Terrible. So just a little wrap up that little portion of this. Just this we want we really want to hit on mental men's mental health because of the month, but we're not going to exclude our sisters. We want everybody to understand that, like. While you're struggling, while you're fighting that battle, remember that you can find solace, find help in something or someone that's really going to care for you and really going to be there for you. And who knows what it is? I implore you guys to come to an academy. I implore you guys to come to our academy, our little group, our little friendship group of people that we train with. We always all check in with each other. We have lifelines with each other. We check on each other and we really care about each other. We care about your health and your well-being. And that's just a small side of it. I tell Braxton and his friends always to find an academy, to find a Jiu Jitsu space. It's helped Tyler and I. And I think that it's it's good for you. I think that like reading books and and finding finding an avenue that will build you up is really important in your life. But you need to have people around you that that, like Braxton said, will see when you're struggling and will ask you, are you OK? Are you good? Yeah.

36:05 Tyler How's everything? Yeah, not sure. Nine nine eight eight nine eight eight. Twenty four hour suicide hotline. Nice. Call, text, chat. There's people that, you know, they're trained to deal with that. I just Googled it because I feel like since we're on the topic, we might as well share the resource. Nine eight eight will will get you to that resource.

36:27 Danny Man. So that leading up to what we have. So this is a big week for Tyler and I. Yeah. We have our Jiu Jitsu competition coming up on the 8th of July. We will be at Grappler Industries. If you listen to us and you know who we are, if you know, if you've been watching us, come up and say hi to us. We're going to be in a couple of brackets. We're going to be out there fighting with. We actually have a pretty good group of guys. Yeah. And kids that are from the Academy that will be there. Yeah. Tripp's got a monster bracket. I did see that. I am so excited for it. It will be a good test for him to put himself out there from Worlds. The whole letdown of Worlds. And now he's been training a bunch. He's a monster. He is not fun to train with right now. He's kicking everybody's butt. And it's going to be really fun to see him, see him compete. And Tyler and I are just in a little different avenue of our lives, but we have those nerves, those that energy of like, how's things going to go? I'm bumping up in the weight class because I didn't have anybody in my weight. Tyler is he's he's he's trying to get to weight right now.

37:41 Tyler I'm going to get to weight 185. Watch out, ladies. When you do, but I actually think I'm going to try to to to roll in 185 as well as 200. Yeah, just see how I do, because there's only one in the 185 weight class.

37:55 Danny And and competition in itself, right? Competition of grappling in itself brings up some like terrifying different thoughts in your head, right? Because you you play out the matches in your head, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We were teasing Braxton today because we go through some of his wrestling highlights, you know? Yeah. The dude wrestled some of the best names in college right now. Braxton wrestled Roman Bobby Young at Junior Duel's. He wrestled Dayton Ficks in Fargo. Fargo. Yeah. We were we were talking about him and he he's had some of some really cool competitions, but it brings up these crazy emotions, right? And these crazy feelings of like going back and replaying them all in your head. Right. Yeah. You could have done right. Yeah.

38:43 Tyler Absolutely for sure. Yeah, sure. And this episode will be published after the fourth of July. So happy fourth to. Oh, well. Yeah. Those those those of us that celebrate that that holiday. Thank you, Braxton, for your service. And we are on that. I didn't have the I didn't have the help. The ice my eyesight would never pass any of the military tests. So it's not something that I could do. So in conjunction with Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, our independence, you know, take take some time to thank those who, you know, sign on the dotted line and put it out there and let's take care of these guys.

39:19 Braxton What did you tell your mom? This was the first Fourth of July. Yeah, this is the first Fourth of July. I've been back in the states where I can actually like celebrate and actually celebrate the Independence Day and with family.

39:33 Tyler I hope you I hope as up who says in the Simpsons, celebrate the birth of our country by blowing up the small.

39:41 Danny Get some big old fireworks. Absolutely. We got the we got tickets to Oakley Rodeo. So we are so lucky with the. What night are you going? So we're going on Monday night. We've got the we've got such a great community around us because some of the people that train with us, they work the arena. They're the guys that work the horses. They're the people that run the shoots. They're bull riders. There's all kinds of famous people, you know, in our little society that you don't even realize are famous, right? Right. And so, yeah, we got tickets to the Oakley Rodeo, open mats. So we're going to have a bunch of open mats throughout the week. I will put the schedule out there for everybody. Open mat means that you are more than welcome to come train with us. If your academy is closed for the weekend and you're trying to find stuff, our academy will have open mats. We're going to have some nights and we're going to have some days. We're going to train hard. We're going to see Braxton off. So he leaves next Thursday. He's back to North Carolina. And then he goes on his trip to Israel and does that thing. And now we're going to get ready. We're going to. Yeah, we still have to run our six K. Yes. And they got back to us. So we are able to do a virtual run. We're going to run probably next and not next week because we're going to be training a little bit, trying to get our bodies ready for a competition. And then we'll compete on the eighth. We'll probably run after that. Yeah. This episode, we're recording on the last weekend of June. So that's why we run the current men's health. It will be released next weekend. Our goals for the six K is to finish and to get in the canal. Yeah. And to not feel like garbage the next day. Our goals for a competition is both we're both planning to win. We're both planning to win gold. That's the goal. That's the goal right now is to win gold into and to showcase like our how we trained.

41:46 Braxton What do you got coming up? That's it. Our children in August. And other than that, start training for our gunnery tables and everything again at the end of the year. So we have certifications coming up at the end of the year every six months for the section that I'm in. And then just concerts. I got another concert. I got Parkham, a column in September. Nice. And then we're starting. I have a couple of my buddies in North Carolina who are going to start going to a Jiu Jitsu Academy in

42:21 Danny Spring Lake, North Carolina. Very cool. So, yeah, so maybe you'll be able to all of our North Carolina fans, all however many we have out there, you'll be able to see Braxton, hang out with him. So just regrouping, Tyler and I are both available for coaching.

42:39 Tyler We're both available for help. Feel free to hit us up. Lost Boy Scouts dot com. Lost Boy Scouts on Instagram. Lost Boy Scouts on TikTok.

42:49 Danny Yep. And I'm compassionate underscore gentleman. We will. We'll help anybody. We're not afraid to get dirty with you. We're not afraid to like really get grimy and and find out what it is going to take for you to find that find that task that will help you get through that wall, get through that barrier. Yeah. And Braxton, same thing. Like the dude is good, man. He does a good job with the soldiers and he's young. So if you're looking for somebody that's younger, that's maybe like in that frame of mind where you're at, he's a young man that he'll help you out. And we're all we're all here for you. And so we appreciate you guys. Thanks for listening. Thanks for thanks for being a part of us. Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.