Lost Boy Scouts Podcast

Swell AI Transcript: S1 E12.wav
00:00 Danny Hey, welcome to the Last Boy Scouts podcast. Excited to have you with us on this episode. It's a good day.

00:12 Tyler & Danny Where do we want to go today? Let's recap. Let's do a little recap. Let's talk about some things that we have going on. Let's talk. So, recap. Consistency. Consistency. So kind of funny, like you don't realize how much your life is based on consistent behavior. No. Right? So, in the social media platform, I was kind of talking about some of the things that my boys and I have been doing lately. And part of that is we've been writing down an accountability board, typing. I've seen Craig Valentine do it. Yeah. I kind of follow him a little bit. I like some of the things he does. He actually lives in Mexico. So that's kind of where we're at. Right? Like, oh, slight goals. And he was just writing out a list. And that's kind of what we started with. We just write out a list. And we'll check it off. The things that we've done that day are the things like if I'm like, oh, today I need to spend some time with Misty. I'll put that in there. And then maybe not tomorrow. Maybe there's other things that I don't check off that. And what your life is based on with consistency is holding yourself accountable to constantly doing the work that's required during our daily routines. Right? Yeah, absolutely. Starts in the morning, finishes at night when you go to bed to sleep well. That's an important part of your day. And so being consistent as a man is there's so many things that drag you and pull you and you know that there's so many things that pull your attention. Right? And how do you drown out all that excess noise and all that background noise to stay consistent

02:01 Danny in your day-to-day routines? It's so easy to fall into all kinds of disarray. I definitely this week had an episode where obviously being on the road so much and some other personal things going on in my life, I felt like my routine was blown out and I was shocked at how quickly I took that out on people that I care about. And it really was a learning opportunity for me to kind of reflect and say, maybe I could handle this better. Luckily, I was able to kind of see the huge amount of growth that I've had.

02:42 Tyler & Danny I could have completely melted down, but it was just a kind of a minor little tizzy. Right. And to come back to what you were saying, you notice when your equilibrium and your central nervous system is off. And so you do kind of sometimes take that out on people because you're frustrated that you're a little off. You're just a little off. And when we think about consistency and consistent practice, what that helps is to keep you on that straight line. Right. And you're going to fall off 10 degrees, 5 degrees, 20 degrees off of your line that you want to stay on. But if you are not developing, I mean, you and I talk about this all the time, like our work, the work that we do is never ending. It's never ending. We're constantly fiddling, fussing, talking to each other, talking about things. And it's so many distractions that if we didn't do the work, the prior work that we needed to to be able to regulate ourselves, we could be far off. Like you could be a 30, 45 degree off.

03:52 Danny And now how do you come back? Right. Remember back to the episode where we were talking about your line of work, where how detrimental are those degrees in the flight plan of an airplane? Right. And you're absolutely right. Right. It's good to rest. Right. It's good to recover, to listen to your body and say, hey, I need a vacation. And honestly, my trip to Hawaii, I had some very grandiose plans to like do some work on my website and to do some work in my Jiu Jitsu manual that I've been writing. And I did none of it. You know, and I'm like a little bit like I beat myself up about it, but I have to let myself off the hook because I relaxed and had a really good time with my kids just before school starts next week. And now we have those memories rather than, you know, me having an extra couple ounces of extra work done around my website or something. So it is good to maintain some consistency always. I mean, really, that's how you achieve your goals. Right. And again, the goal should not be perfection. Perfection will swallow you and spit you out.

05:05 Tyler & Danny And if you are consistent, you will find that you are much happier in the long run. Right. Yeah. And that's where I've had some really, really fun conversation with some people. Actually kind of interesting. I've had some friends reach out to me and ask me, hey, do you think Jiu Jitsu would be OK for me? Like, hey, do you think Jiu Jitsu is a good… Some are like a little bit older. Some are not in… They're in good mental shape, but they're not in good physical shape. And to me, that's what I think people think about Jiu Jitsu. They only think about the fact that they're going to get their butts kicked by these crazy monsters on the mat and their arms are going to get hurt. Their backs are going to get hurt. Their necks are going to get hurt. And when I have these conversations with men and I tell them, Jiu Jitsu is not… That's not what you're doing Jiu Jitsu for. Yeah. Jiu Jitsu is not for you to think about getting hurt or hurting somebody or anything, because the greatest thing that Jiu Jitsu has is a tap. Yeah. If you feel like any moment that you are not in a comfortable position and you don't know what you're doing, just tap. Let's restart. Let's recover. Yeah. And let's hang out. And yesterday we had a new member come in and she was a little bit older and her mind was going 100 miles an hour with all these questions. And she's like, oh, my foot's in the wrong place. All my arms in the wrong place. And I was like, just take a deep breath. We're not here to be perfect. Right. We're here just to learn. We're just learning. And repetition, you're going to get better. You're going to do the right things. And that's how I explain to other men, just remember, you're not there for any other reason except for to learn this art form and to be a student. To not know. That's the best part about it. We don't know.

06:59 Danny We have no idea. No. I can only imagine the level of insanity it would drive you to if to try to be perfect at Jiu Jitsu. There's a reason there's no such thing as Jiu Jitsu Jesus. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, in this sport, is they do they do understand concepts, right? There's some concepts that are interlaced throughout the different positions, different movements, and they're able to see those. Right. And, you know, being able to consistently identify them more than makes up for the fact

07:31 Tyler & Danny that they may not have perfect technique. Sure. Yeah. Opportunity. Opportunity. They see opportunity. And if you and I see opportunity, it can be kind of slow motion, slow motion. Oh, I just seen the arm and the arms already gone. Black belts see opportunity and it's like they see it instantly or they may see it even prior to what prior to even doing anything. They may know. Right. Yeah. And so what I was talking to Tyler about was traps. Yeah. Right. Traps. And in Jiu Jitsu, we use traps constantly. And how we're going to frame this and how we're going to reframe this for men's work and for our work is traps that keep you from being consistent, traps that keep you from being in your normal self and will keep you in your pseudo self, and traps that will hold you back from growing. Right. And for right now, let's talk about some traps in Jiu Jitsu because you know you have some traps. I've rolled with you now from the beginning and I know you do things that I'm like, oh, Tyler wants me to grab his leg. Oh, he wants me to put my hand there. Yeah. That's a trap. Yeah.

08:44 Danny Right. It's an opportunity. You're looking for opportunity. Absolutely. Well, and I'm basic, right? I'm basic at learning the sport. So I have some minor things that I do to set people up. I definitely have a trap I like to set for, you know, just when you're opening up and, you know, trying to get a, I'm forgetting the even the term. That's where I'm at. This is white belt mindset. We did roll today too. Yeah. Where I'm trying to get a loop choke, right? There's a loop choke trap. You do. Yes, you do. That professor showed that I just really enjoy. And I've actually just started understanding it. Anthony, one of the black belts in the academy, taught me an armbar to backtake, right? That is another trap. It's not necessarily a trap, but it's a sequence that, you know, could be used as a trap, right? Where I set up an armbar from guard. If it's not there, then, you know, I'm into a backtake scenario just by, you know, making a couple of moves. So some of my favorite ones, I'm constantly getting caught in traps. Sure.

09:52 Tyler & Danny You and Preston, some of those. And as you get higher in your belt, you learn how to set those traps and set them up so that the person doesn't see them. They have their body, their reaction is only going to put them in the place that you want them because you take away all other avenues of escape. So their only chance, their only opportunity is to go into your trap. And professor talks about this a lot. When you're rolling with upper belts and you're like, oh man, that was such an easy grab for me to grab their leg. And he's like, well, it's probably a trap. They probably meant for you to grab it. And when you go with high level black belts, you know that everything that you're doing,

10:36 Danny they've already planned for. Right. They're like pushing you down a certain direction. It's like a cattle drive. Yeah. The cattle shoots, right? They like, they set up the shoots to push the cattle a certain direction. And that's essentially what a black belt's doing. And you think it's your idea.

10:51 Tyler & Danny Oh, absolutely. And you think like, oh, I'm doing this and this is my idea. And so traps happen on the mat and we use them and we love them. And every basic jiu jitsu move is a trap. Yeah. And what we're trying to set up is ultimately like the submission. But sometimes some of the funnest trainings that you have is just setting everybody up down the line and seeing if you can catch every single person in a trap because that's only going to help your game grow.

11:23 Danny Right. And you get consistent, right? If you can do a new move enough, you get consistent with that move. Yeah.

11:30 Tyler & Danny And it just becomes a little bit fun. And it does. Right. And whenever you're thinking about jiu jitsu, it's literally a chess match of two humans that are trying to see whose game is better. Right. And that happens in relationships. Right. In relationships, what I bring to the table and what you bring to the table, we try to mesh together and we have a friendship. Right. And sometimes you don't see the other person for what they really are. Right. And you can be like searching for something and that person has what you're searching for. And next thing you know, you could potentially be in a trap of a failed relationship or a failed partnership or a failed something because you're so committed. That person has kind of lulled you into this false sense of security. And it's not that people are purposely trying to hurt you. Right. I don't think that there are people that purposely try to hurt you, but I don't believe that's the case all the time. I think that sometimes you go in with both having good intentions and then before you know it, things happen, right? And especially for men and women with men and women's relationships when they're really searching for companionship. You overlook a lot of things that could potentially be a trap and now you go down this line. You can't get out of the relationship. You can't get out of the situation and you feel bad because you've invested so much time on this person. And any kind of trap like that is not malicious, I don't believe it. Right. It's always malicious.

13:20 Danny I believe that it's just two people working and not realizing that they're hurting each other. Yeah. You know, it's interesting. I just read a quote about accountability being a, and I think I made a post about it not too long ago, you know, accountability can feel like an attack when you don't understand that your behavior has an adverse effect on the other human on the other end. And so when you're asking for some accountability from somebody based on what they've done, it may feel a little bit like a trap. Let me run this scenario by you because I had the opportunity to be coached today by one of my fellow coaches and she asked me about my intuition and I had to sit back and think for those of us who have grown up in the LDS community for a certain period of time, we grew up really early with the concept of our parents taking us up on to the stage and kind of helping us guiding us in what they call bearing of your testimony. Right. So basically the kid gets all excited to go up and speak in the microphone in front of the congregation and mom or dad will walk them up there and they'll whisper in their ear and it's generally very simple like I know this church is true. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet and it's being whispered in your ear. Okay. One of the concepts that they teach early in the church is the concept of this Holy Ghost. Sure. This was a concept for me that, you know, I struggled with throughout most of my time as a member. This concept that the Holy Ghost was supposed to be this still small voice and when I was asked that question, I really had to reflect how did this concept of a Holy Ghost that was really ingrained into me from a very young age, how did it influence my own intuition, right? Because there's these times where you have to listen to that Holy, that intuition. And if you don't believe that that voice is coming from you and you believe it's inspired from somewhere else, you actually kind of start to tone out your own inner voice. Almost ignore it. A hundred percent ignore it. Yeah, you don't think it's true. And what's interesting, during this separation, I had a medical green card here in Utah and I was medicating for some anxiety and some depression and I got to a point where I was hearing this voice, not like hearing this voice, it was like this internal voice that, you know, I'd come back from jujitsu and I'd smoke a big joint and I fell into that trap, right? Yeah. I fell into that trap of kind of medicating myself and not feeling and there was this voice inside of my head that said, if you keep doing this, I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. Now, prior to my exit from the church, I probably would have accredited that voice to to this quote unquote Holy Ghost. Holy Ghost, yeah. But it was really the first time I think I had an honest conversation with my own inner dialogue. Sure. Right? I had been completely lost and kind of caught in this trap that I had to outsource that intuition to a higher being. And in a way, it felt like a trap. Sure. It felt like I was set up to follow this doctrine kind of blindly. And, you know, I could be really mad at my parents for doing it, but in the long run, they were just executing a protocol that their parents did with them and their parents did with them and so on and so forth. And so I'm really glad that I've kind of woken up to this intuition and I've had to do a lot of work where I have had to rebuild my own trust in my own inner dialogue.

17:19 Tyler & Danny Yeah. Trusting yourself, man, that's got to be like if you lose that like little bit of trust with yourself and you don't believe yourself and you don't believe that that inner voice is guiding you and helping you, then you literally will start to feel in that all in sense and purposes of being lost. Right? And when you are told from a young age about

17:52 Danny this doctrine and this is the way you do things and this is how come you do them, then it's hard to go against the grain. It would be very hard to go against the grain. And it would be hard to trust any other way, any other voice. Oh, absolutely. That's exactly what happened. I kept having this kind of internal conflict where is this my intuition or is this the Holy Ghost? And so it really put me in this position where I started to feel stuck and I started not

18:29 Tyler & Danny trusting either. Right? And it was really kind of unfortunate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. So then how did you, so now that you're looking at it and you're going, what's the next step? What's the next step for like for a person? Because there are a ton of traps. And one of the big ones that you and I talked about was porn. Yeah. Porn is a trap to a man's psyche because what I believe is that it takes away the need to go out and put yourself out there to a woman. And you can go get this high or go get the same feeling from a person who you have no connection to. And you don't even have to really try very hard, but you get a very quick dopamine dump. Yeah. And when men start to go down that path, they start to become desensitized to what it actually feels like to interact with a woman. Right? And so with porn,

19:33 Danny that's a big one. That's a big trap that is hard. Yeah. 100%. I think porn is false intimacy. Right? Sure. And we trap ourselves into thinking that that is real. And then the same goes for the OnlyFans girls and the Twitter and the Snapchat thirst traps. Like we start to pretend that this is intimacy. Right? And really what they are doing is they're taking. They're taking your time, they're taking your money, they're taking your integrity, and you're not building real intimacy. And I guess for some men, that's fine. You can't save everybody. Right? I've kind of gotten to this thought where I'm going to build this podcast that's going to save people. And I'm like, really, that's not my job. My job is to save myself. And if my mess and my message resonates with you and you adhere to it, that's great. But there are going to be men that that's what they do. They don't get up off the couch. Right? They fall into that trap. And they're happy with it. I love the quote by Jaco when he talks about donuts. And if you've ever read his Discipline Equals Freedom field manual, he has one that says basically sugar coated lies. Right? And he's talking about donuts and he goes, they're there. Somebody brought them into the office for free. Who wouldn't pass up this sweet little treat? Right? And you fall into this trap like, oh, they're just there. I'm going to eat this donut. And you're just consuming sugar,

21:15 Tyler & Danny which is just a drug. It is a drug. And I, man, I have a hard time turning down donuts. But funny you say that. So this is kind of a side note. I'm going to get back to traps, but this is awesome. So we were watching Mayans, the bicycle. We love the Mayans. It's kind of the bicycle, the motorcycle. Motorcycle. Sorry, my fault. I'm not in the lingo of the Sturgis is going on. So I see some things. Anyways, in the Mayans, Jaco is in there and he's playing this high up drug trafficker. And he's right when you walk into his gym and he's got a guy in an arm bar. And the guy's like, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. And Jaco looks at the main characters

22:02 Tyler and breaks the guy's arm. And then I'm like, Misty's, I'm laughing and I'm like, come on, Jaco, you can't do that. You've taken away from Jiu Jitsu. The guy tapped and he gets up and he's

22:17 Tyler & Danny talking in Jaco and he's doing his thing. And I'm laughing and Misty's like, what are you laughing about? And I'm like, it's Jaco. His podcast is amazing and his message is amazing. But look, I can't take him seriously on this. And he talking and they're like, well,

22:37 Tyler you just broke that guy's arm after he tapped. And he's like, that was business like that. Like, dude, this is so funny. And I was laughing because I'm thinking, Jaco, come on, man. We're trying to sell Jiu Jitsu. He's over there breaking the breaking people to

22:55 Tyler & Danny tap. Oh, man. It was so good. But yeah, so any of those like, like, especially like some of those, those, those really high dopamine where you were, man, and we've talked about it, like you go down this path of like, heading down there and you don't even realize you're in this trap. You don't even realize that you're in this box and you don't even realize that you're, you're fighting a pointless battle because you need to address every single thing that's drawn you to that trap. You need to make sure that you get a hold of something before you go down the trap and, and you can't get out of it. Right. And so how as a person, how as a man am I supposed to address it? How am I supposed to look at it and, and, and look inside and be honest with myself that I like looking at porn. I like, I like these things, man. And it makes me feel good for a quick second. Right. You know what I mean? I don't, I don't know. I know what I personally do. I know that I personally will, will self address and self assess and be like, Hey man, kind of eating too many donuts, kind of looking at too many only fan girls. And it's time to take a break from it

24:05 Danny because you're being dissensitive. You're, you're not being sensitive to anybody at all. Yeah. I mean, I would imagine that eventually that type of behavior ends in a really lonely life. Yeah. Because who wants to hang out with somebody that's just like a basement dwelling, you know, yeah, stinky video game playing, you know, I had imagined that's what a lot of these incels are like, right? They've just, they've, they've given up hope and, you know, it's, it's unfortunate because nobody's coming to save you. It's true. Now there's a lot of voices where we want to give you, you know, share our message that it's not hard or that it is hard. And, and, and think some things are going to be harder than others in fact. But you have to do the work. You do. You have to do the work. You have to recognize when you've fallen into a trap and you have to address it. You have to self rescue. You have to gnaw off your own fucking leg. If that's what it takes. True. Right. Like think about a wild animal that's been caught in a trap. It will not own leg off to save its life if it has to. Yeah. It's life is important. And, and, and your life should be to treat yourself as if you were worth, you were worth saving. True. Yeah. Right. Jordan Peterson again. Yeah. Treat yourself as if you

25:23 Tyler & Danny were worth saving or rescuing. Yeah. Agreed. And, and be cognizant of, of all those, if it's too good to be true, if it's, if the, if, if the grip is too good to be true, it's probably too good to be true. It's probably a trap. Right. If, if you're going down, you know, Braxton and Chaco talked about this where the girls would send you pictures and then, and they're, they're, they're sending you all these pictures and they're trying to warm you up, trying to butter you up. And the next thing they know, you're like, Hey, you want some more pictures?

25:59 Danny It's going to cost you some money. Yeah. And now you're like, 99 cents here, $2 there, 1250 here, buy me this over there. Yeah. It's like, it's, it's, it starts off small and then the problem escalates, right? It's those few degrees. Yeah. It's those few degrees. What other, what other traps are there? I mean, we have speed traps.

26:21 Tyler & Danny Nobody likes the, nobody likes the speed trap, but I'll kind of tell you one that I've been, that I've mentioned to you before. And we've, and I talked to you a little bit about this this week, but something that I'm like, that I'm struggling with myself is, you know, we have this platform, you and I have this platform that we're talking to men and I have multiple platforms where I'm talking to men and I'm, and I'm, I take my time. If I talk to you and I'm giving you my space, I care about you, you know, something that I've been struggling a lot with is, and I, and I talked to Tyler about this is social media. I am not a prolific social media poster. I'm not a prolific social media content provider. I've talked to multiple people that told me how you need to grow your brand is to pay your money to Facebook, pay your money to Instagram, pay your money to these people, to, to boost your posts, to, to boost yourself. And I struggle with that because I don't want to be down. I don't believe in it. So it's like, am I going down this trap? Am I going down this place of I'm selling myself for something that I'm not? One thing that caught me off guard was, and I told Tyler, this is, I was looking at social media and I came across a post of this guy, him and I have had a couple of conversations. He's asked me about our, our Academy and he's like, yeah, I'm going to come to your Academy. He tells me he trains, he's a blue belt. And he was posting about cold plunging. And I looked at that and I was like, man, I don't, I hope it's not a fad. I hope that I'm, I hope that like, he was out there. I mean, he was posting about how, like he had just discovered cold plunging and he was going to let everybody know about this new great thing that he, he's come stumbled upon. And I'm thinking, I took it as like, now I'm kind of being judgmental. I'm like, I don't want to be that guy. Right. And I told Tyler, like, I'm like, I want to be as organic as possible. I want to be as organic of a, of a mentor and as a, of a, of a guidance, guide her that we, that I possibly can be, you know what I'm saying? And then I'm not sure like how that goes. And I struggle with that. I struggle with social media and with that trap of, yes, I want to, yes, I want to grow myself and I want to grow Tyler and I as brand, but I also, I don't want to sell myself short and be like a fad. And like,

28:52 Danny I'm only talking about these, these, these fad. Right. Right. Yeah. No. And I think, I think that's the thing. Like you have to do some self discovery, right? Like I like the cold plunge because for somebody like me that, that was struggling with, with kind of the regulation of my nervous system. It's something that, that for me, it, it instantly pulled me out of, right. And into it back into my body. Right. And, and it's great to see like Wim Hof and then Huberman kind of talk and dive into the science behind it. And that works for me. Sure. Right. And I love jujitsu. Jujitsu had an almost immediate effect on both my physical health and my mental health. I tell people all the time, jujitsu saved my life from the sense of it's been the best thing that's ever I've ever done for my mental health. And it's been the best thing I've ever done for my physical health. Sure. You know, I was 230 pounds when I started jujitsu. I'm down to like one, one 85, right. And that's just doing jujitsu. And by doing so I've like, I've gotten more active, right? I've started running more. I've started, you know, doing a little bit more to, to be more effective in the gym. Right. Right. But, but just doing jujitsu alone, I think I lost 30 pounds within like the thirst for the first, you know, few months. Like I sent you that picture and it was like night and day difference. Yes, for sure. Right. You know, and so, you know, you're always going to plateau. You're always going to have to find like, okay, I've done this and this, this doesn't work. Right. There's other things that are out there. You know, there's EMDR, like it's a pretty modern therapeutic methodology for, for correcting your brain. There's things like ketamine, there's things like mushrooms, like, you know, don't fall into the fad of things, right. But test out and find out what works for you. Your life is an experiment. You are sent here to gain knowledge. That is the purpose of life is to gain knowledge and gain experience. Right. And, and,

30:42 Tyler & Danny and it is, it's your job to, to go out and find out what works for you. Yeah. Perform an experiment. Agreed. Yeah. And so rounding that about into the, the, the, what I believe is like living, living and, and, and practicing and trying, trying failures, things like that are what's going to help you grow. It's going to help you. Like if you are in a trap, come back to, to your baseline. And then now you can go down the line because for me, I'm not going to, to sell myself out to social media in order to gain followers. I want to grow people. I want to grow, I want to grow our, our group. I want to grow the people that, that we are trying to help. And I, and I believe that organically that it will happen. You know, I do believe that. I also believe that our message is getting across to those that listen to us. Right. And they're going to help share our message. You know what I'm saying? So like, if you don't see me posting on social media every day, it's not that I'm not thinking about it. I have on my checklist, post content, post, post things. And I post the things that I care about. And I, and I post, I post things that I think are going to capture people's souls. And I like, I tell Tyler all the time, I like when he gets in the cold plunge, because I think to myself, man, I need to get in my cold plunge. I need to get in my cold plunge. I need to go sauna. And when I, but I'm just not a cold person and I got in the water today. And I was like, this is about as cold as I think I can take, you know? And, and, and I'm like, but I want people to go out there. I want people to go and try it. And I don't want to like, I don't want to shame that dude for, for, for me thinking that I know him and then being like, well, you're just, you're just being part of the, you're like, just trying to like jump on the bandwagon of, right. Of all the cold plungers. But maybe, I mean, like, then I was thinking maybe that's the trap. Maybe that's the trap is that I'm, I'm like looking down on that guy because he's doing

32:46 Danny something that I, I can't bring myself to do. You know what I mean? I definitely think that there is in a way like this trap of self-help, right? Like, oh, I just need one more, one more course. I need one more, one more session with my therapist, one more cold plunge, one more round of ketamine, one more like, and you do get kind of like on this, this addiction of fixing yourself, like fixing yourself can become an addiction. I agree. I'm going to, I don't remember who says it, but moderation in all things, even moderation, right? So, so, um, find balance, you know, have a quorum of men that will call you on your bullshit. I think, um, one of the greatest, uh, quotes I've heard recently is I have a friend that told me she would no longer co-sign on my bullshit. And I like instantly just got all starry eyed and, and goo-goo faced and was like, that is one of the coolest things I've ever heard, right? I'm not going to co-sign on your bullshit, right? Right. Ganny doesn't co-sign on Tyler's bullshit, right? Like he will call me on and say, yeah, you know what, that's, um, you know, that's something you should have done this way or,

33:58 Tyler & Danny and you need to surround yourself with people that will shoot you honestly and tell you the truth. Agreed. Right? Yeah. We w and, and, and trust, trust when you're, when you are, when you're growing. So this is a really big, this is a really big one. As you start to make changes in your life, as you start to make changes and you start to see, see improvements in your life, what you're going to want to do is like throw all of your eggs, all of your money into that one thing. But here's the thing. It's going to take a lot of, a lot of trial and error to get to you finding happiness, solace, and comfort in listening to that inner voice again. When you've, when you've kind of turned them off, when you've been like, yeah, man, I'm not trusting you anymore. I don't believe that anymore. It's going to take a lot of work and central nervous system regulation is number one thing you should focus on. 100%. You need to put all of your time and effort into central nervous system regulation. That means when you are dopamine dumping, you are, you are, you are not regulating your central nervous system. When you are sitting on the couch and you notice that your head is down and you're just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, that's not central nervous system regulation. Central nervous system regulation is going out, sweating, getting in the cold plunge, doing a little sauna, going to Jiu-Jitsu and putting yourself into some very uncomfortable positions that you have to

35:32 Danny figure out a way to get through, right out of, and to survive. I like to think of my, I like to think of it as a capacity, right? You have a capacity. Think of it as a container. And the difference is like Bruce Banner, right? Bruce Banner, when he's Bruce Banner, everything is good. He's fits in his clothes, but when he gets triggered, he turns into the Hulk, right? The Hulk, right? And so if we look at our, our, the capacity of our central nervous system to handle stress, right? Life is inconsistent and constantly full of stress. So we have to be able to classify it and do something with it. What happens is when we get overstressed, if we get frustrated, if we get triggered, our capacity overflows and we turn into the Hulk. And we yell at people we care about. We discipline our children in unfair ways, right? We yell at our spouses or our co-workers and we become unmanageable. And so start paying attention to the size of your container. And things like doing a cold plunge will help regulate and help you build a larger container. Agreed. My time at Jiu Jitsu has tripled my capacity. Agreed. My body now understands what is a real threat versus what a perceived threat is. Because our whole nervous system is meant to feel. We are meant to feel and we feel far faster than we tend to recognize certain things, right? We'll feel an emotion long before we recognize that it's a threat or that it's something else.

37:16 Tyler & Danny Yeah, a trap. A trap. And when your central nervous system is regulating and functioning and firing, and you know when it is, you can feel it. You kind of feel a little euphoric because you're happy with the things that are making you happy. You're sad when you're supposed to be sad. You're sleeping well. As humans, sleep is one of those things where I think, man, we just need to work on. We need to make sure that we're working on it. But when you're in a trap and you are not, your central nervous system is not firing, you're just going to grip harder thinking, I can hold on to this thing that's making me feel good right now. You're not going to let go. But man, if you release the grip a little bit, you're probably going to let some blood flow. You're probably going to feel a little bit better. And anytime that you are in a quote unquote trap, somebody from the outside who knows you, who knows what you're going through, can see the struggles that you're going through. And that's why we say quorum of men. Quorum of men that are fighting together, fighting hard. This is why I promote jiu-jitsu so hard. Is because we are all going to war. We are all going to battle for one common goal. And that is to just make each other better and to ensure

38:41 Danny that our safety is what we're taking care of. I 100% agree. And I know I use the term, but I'm feeling a lot of resistance to the term quorum. Why can't we be like a murder of crows? Or like something else? Yeah, but like a group of men, a quorum of men or you know, your battle, your tribe. Yeah. Yeah. Anywhere you want to say. Anywhere you want to call it. The other thing is that the larger we, the more we are able to regulate our nervous system, the more we're going to start identifying and noticing our triggers, which

39:19 Tyler & Danny will also help us indicate when we are falling into traps. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And make sure that when you have questions and you have ideas that you're trying to navigate through, share them with the people that are going to be your friends. Share them with the people that are going to give you the best advice. Because if you give that advice and you share it with the wrong person and they're not happy for you, they're just going to take you down their traps. They're going to pull you down. And let's keep diving down this. I want to keep going. Something that we kind of got away from was Jiu-Jitsu, like always napkinning with Jiu-Jitsu. And something that I was thinking about for Tyler and I is that to always to reinforce what Jiu-Jitsu does for us and how it helps us. Because one thing that I told both my boys to put into their accountability board is go to Jiu-Jitsu. Every time I talk to the boys and I'm like, we get off the phone, I'm like, hey, go to Jiu-Jitsu.

40:26 Danny And they'll tell me, go to Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah. I mean, I notice a difference. I notice a difference in my week when I'm there and when I'm not there. And so it's been helpful to find some nights and just try to be consistent on those nights. Yeah. So let's wrap it up, man. Yeah. Super, super exciting announcement. Let's go. Yeah. We have a new sponsor. Yes. We have a new sponsor. Mountain Elite Massage in Heber City, Utah. Love it. They have sponsored the podcast. Not only have they sponsored the podcast, but they're also, they offer some incredible services. So if you're in the Heber Park City area, you want to treat your lady. They do massages. They do facials. They do spa, pedicures, manicures, foot zoning. They have a salt room. Have you ever done a salt room? No. No, it's fantastic for your sinuses. You like it. Oh, I like it. You kind of cough and it's fantastic for your sinuses. Check out mountainelitemassage.com. Book a session with them. Let them know that in passing that you've heard about them on the Lost Boy Scouts podcast. A further partnership with them will be announced a little bit later. It's looking like they are going to host our Men's Ascent course monthly. And we're excited to be partnering with them, with Crystal Joy and her crew. They're incredible, compassionate people. She has built a house of healing. And if you want to treat your misses or you need to work on some jujitsu injuries, Mountain Elite Massage in Old Town

41:59 Tyler & Danny Heber. A fantastic place to do it. Of course. We're growing. Like I said, like we talked about, we are organically growing. Tyler and I are putting in a lot of work. We're doing a lot of work to try to get the brand out there, to grow ourselves, to make sure that we're all being taken care of in the correct way and that we can develop this community, this common unity of people. And know that you're not alone. That's what I keep telling people. You're not alone in this fear. You're not alone in this nervousness. You're not alone in this life. But you have to make sure that you're willing to do the work. Because Tyler and I do our own work and we'll help you, but we can't. We're not going to hold your hand the entire time. It's going to require you to really,

42:47 Danny really, really look inside and listen to that voice. Some days we're all just treading water, right? And I can't tread water and hold your ass as well. So you got to tread water on your own. And I'll be there to cheer you on and say, keep stroking, keep moving. We can do this. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Look us up. Lostboyscouts.com. I've got some open coaching spots that have just opened up. I'm looking for a couple of volunteers to pilot my Point of Origin course. This is a 12-month intensive program where we dive into who you are, what you want to become and help you unlock and uncover your best self. Lostboyscouts.com. Check us out. Instagram, social media, Twitter. I have a TikTok. I haven't posted on Instagram, Facebook. Hit us up in the comments, YouTube. Danny, where

43:43 Tyler & Danny do we get ahold of you? Yeah. Same. So I've been working hard on my breathwork course. Yes. I'm so excited. I've gotten, I kind of shared a couple of things. Some questions came out about how do you start breathwork? And so we're going to film me doing coaching, a coaching, the initial part of breathwork because as mouth breathers, what we've taught from the beginning is to breathe through our mouth, which is quite not really how we do it. We really need to get our whole body involved and it helps regulate all of your digestive tracts. Most of your organs are in your belly. So that's what we're trying to get to. We're trying to try to oxygenate. We're trying to get those things healthy. So that's what we have working on for me myself. I'm looking for a couple of people that are looking to start their breathwork journey. Signed up. I'm signed up. That way we can keep growing and working with some brand companies to get some gear out there. So compassionate underscore gentlemen on Instagram and Facebook. We're going to continue to post some content as best as we can. I'm going to do better. I'm going to work on it. And yeah, if you guys have any ideas or if you have any input on what to help us with that kind of a thing, I'm all ears. I'm all up for it.

44:56 Danny I'm just not going to be social media fake. No, yeah, no, no, no cult of personality here. You know, you want to join our cult of personality, check us out Sundays on Open Mat, Park City Jiu Jitsu. Yeah. If you have a disagreement, we can work it out on the mat. If you just want to check out a class, you know, we're happy to welcome you.

45:17 Tyler & Danny Welcome out. Yeah, real quick. We've had some really cool travelers coming through and every time they come in, they're like, holy crap, this is a really tough academy. So I want to make sure you guys understand that when you come train with us, we have some monsters on the mat. Yeah. Tell me about it. I got my fingernail ripped off today. Yeah. I keep them short too. Come check us out. We're stoked. We're excited to see you guys and to learn more and get ready for those announcements. Get ready for that big one. It's going to come out. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. We're coming. All right. Thank you all. We'll check you on the next episode. Cheers guys. Bye.